If someone is constantly threatening you, trying to sexually harass you, or following you, think carefully about how to protect yourself. The first step is usually to tell the person to stop, and stay away from the person to cut contact with them. If the harassment persists, letting the phone company track incoming calls for you, change your house keys, and involve the police are some of the approaches you can take. In extreme circumstances, you must report the person to the police so that a restraining order can be issued so that you can avoid the person. Read on to learn how to deal with someone who is harassing you.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Resolving Problems
Step 1. Show that you consider the person's behavior to be harassment
If you're a polite person by nature and don't like hurting other people's feelings, the harasser will feel that it's okay to do so. It may be hard to believe, but there's a good chance he doesn't know his behavior is so interfering with your life. Sometimes, telling her frankly by saying, "I think this is harassment" can be embarrassing. If he is a nice person, he will immediately apologize for his behavior and stay away from you.
- If you don't like face-to-face confrontation, or you don't want to see the person bothering you in person, you can write an email or letter instead of having a one-on-one conversation with them.
- Don't apologize for calling harassment harassment-you're not the one doing it wrong. Do not allow these accusations to be conveyed in a friendly manner. You must clearly indicate that the behavior is harassment because the harasser may not understand if you communicate it well.
- Name the behavior and say that it is wrong. For example, say, "Don't whistle at me, that's harassment," or "Don't touch my ass, that's sexual harassment."
- Attack the behavior, not the person doing it. Tell the person that he did something you didn't like ("You're standing too close to me") instead of blaming him ("You're an asshole!"). Do not say harsh words, curse, mock, and other actions that make the situation worse.
Step 2. Tell the person to stop contacting you
If saying the behavior is harassment doesn't work, and the person continues to do so, it can be a little difficult to break off contact with them. The harasser will stop if you explain your opinions and wishes as clearly as possible. Tell the harasser that you want him to stay away from you, and you won't answer or respond to his letters. Make it clear that if he continues to annoy you, you will continue to take steps to stop him.
- Do not engage in dialogue with the harasser, attempt to negotiate the issue with him or her, or answer his or her questions. You don't have to respond if he diverts the conversation, threatens and blames you, or makes you feel guilty. Keep your aim. Defend your opinion.
- If the harasser is someone you have to see often-for example, a friend at school, or a coworker-you can still create new boundaries that fit your situation. For example, tell the person to stop visiting your table or come over to you at lunch.
Step 3. Stop answering calls, emails, and other messages from that person
Now is the time to show him that you really want to cut contact with him. If he's still trying to contact you, don't answer his calls, emails, or texts. You've now pinpointed your position, so if the person contacts you again, he or she has crossed the line that you blatantly set. You don't have to explain back, apologize, or continue on good terms with the person.
Step 4. Delete the person's contacts from your phone and social media accounts
This way, you'll ensure that he doesn't have access to you and the information you share again. “Unfriend” the person from your Facebook account and block it from your twitter account.
Part 2 of 3: Reporting Acts of Harassment
Step 1. Record any acts of harassment you receive
If you are constantly being harassed, keep a record of every incident that happened. The perpetrator's actions may be considered illegal, and if he continues to do so, you may have to involve someone else. You will need the evidence of abuse you received to show others who can help you.
- Save all emails and letters you receive.
- Write down each incident of harassment, noting the date and place where it occurred.
- Write down the names of people who witnessed the harassing behavior in case you have to ask them to verify your account of the incident.
Step 2. Talk to the administrative officer at your school or office
You don't have to solve this problem yourself. Before the issue gets any further, talk to your workplace's human resources department, the principal, or someone you trust. Some administrations have policies to address harassment issues. If the harasser is a student at your school or an employee at your office, involving a clerk may be able to stop the behavior.
Step 3. Call the police
If the harassment you have received has made you feel threatened and insecure, contact the police immediately. If the harasser is near you, asking the police to come will keep you out of harm's way. Never hesitate to call the police if you feel threatened; their job is to keep you safe. Write down the name or ID of the police officer who handled you.
Step 4. Create a restraining order
You can also create a protection warrant to protect yourself and your family from the abuser. You must apply for a protection warrant, file it against the person who harassed you, and attend a hearing where the judge will explain the protections you will get by having a protection warrant. Then, you'll receive files of a protective warrant that you should keep in case the person violates their orders.
- A protection warrant usually stipulates that the harasser must not contact you or be near you at a certain distance.
- If you are in danger, you can obtain a temporary protection warrant that will prevent the person from approaching or legally contacting you at least until trial time.
- Consider getting a lawyer involved. You can apply and attend court unaccompanied, but it's best to get legal advice, so you can be sure that you've filled out the forms correctly, and that you have all the protection you need.
Step 5. Ask your phone company to set up a “trap”
Call the phone company and have them set up a “trap” to track incoming calls from the harasser's phone number. The phone company can then take the footage to the police, and they can use it to track down the perpetrator if necessary.
Part 3 of 3: Keeping Yourself Safe
Step 1. Immediately report all protection warrant violations
Whenever the harasser violates the provisions of the protection warrant, report the violation to the police. The police will record every violation that occurs. It is a criminal offense to violate a protective warrant, so there is a possibility that the person who harassed you could be subject to criminal prosecution if a violation occurs.
Step 2. Tell your friends and family what's going on
Solving this problem alone is very dangerous, both physically and mentally. It is very important to let those closest to you know that you are being bullied by someone, and that you are not feeling safe. Tell those closest to you where you are each day so they will be on standby if something happens.
- Tell people you trust if you're out of town or have to miss work.
- Make sure those closest to you know that they are not allowed to share any information about you with the perpetrator.
- Ask your friends to accompany you when you are feeling insecure.
Step 3. Don't announce your location and daily habits
If you're an active Twitter and Facebook user, it's time to stop announcing your habits. Even if you've removed the person from your account, he or she may still have a way to read it through someone else's account.
- Don't use FourSquare or any other app that announces where you are.
- Don't announce that you're out of town, or that you'll be alone for a few days.
Step 4. Change your house keys and take other security measures around your home
Always be careful and replace all your house keys. You may have to purchase a “bolt-style” lock to make your door more difficult to break in. Apart from ensuring that your door is secure, consider other security measures such as the following:
- You can install lights that will turn on when someone walks around your house at night.
- Consider installing CCTV cameras around your home.
- Consider setting up an alarm that will alert police officers if smugglers break into your home.
Step 5. Learn martial arts
You will feel more secure if you know you can protect yourself when needed. Take a self-defense course and learn the proper way to punch, kick, and strike someone who is trying to attack you.
- Consider bringing a keychain alarm, a whistle, or a penknife.
- If allowed, also consider carrying pepper spray with you at all times.
