Your sense of humor is developed from birth. That sense of humor has developed along with your cognitive development and is shaped by the way you were raised. You may find it funny something your parents also find funny, and you may have a hard time understanding humor outside of your family and community background. Even in a family context, you may not always understand all the jokes. You may need extra context to understand some funny references, or you may express your sense of humor differently than other people. Developing a sense of humor will help you communicate with other people and can help you feel more relaxed.
Method 1 of 3: Recognizing and Responding to Humor
Step 1. Learn how to tell when someone is joking
Listen carefully for errors, exaggerations, or absurdities. Odd statements are often the point of jokes. Check for physical signs such as a dull or overly excited voice, sudden accentuation of accents, or expressive body movements and facial expressions. A person looking at the faces of everyone in a group may be joking and checking to see if anyone noticed the joke.
- The indicator that someone may be joking depends on the type of joke. Someone who uses sarcastic humor may roll or roll their eyes. They may be very relaxed, but say the opposite about how they feel.
- Someone who uses ironic humor may use excessive slang, speak in a monotone, or claim to care deeply about something insignificant.
- People often use humor to laugh at themselves or others in a friendly manner. If someone is describing an embarrassing situation, they may be trying to make you laugh, not begging for mercy.
Step 2. Learn to respond when other people tell jokes
How do you respond to humor? Do you tend to laugh, or smile? Not everyone laughs when they are amused and this can lead others to feel that these people who don't laugh have no sense of humor. Try to laugh or smile when something is funny, but don't force it. If a smile doesn't feel natural, you can simply say "funny!" or "funny too."
Learn to joke. If you get the gist of the joke, you can try making a similar joke instead. This is a common expression of intimacy and flirtation
Step 3. Learn to accept a joke
You may need to develop a sense of humor if you find yourself irritable or irritated. If you're being teased, try to return the joke instead of getting angry. If you're not sure if you're being teased or not, ask yourself "Could this person be trying to piss me off? Could it be that he's just trying to be friendly?" If you can't figure it out, you can ask him directly.
- If something that was meant to be a friendly joke has upset you, ask yourself what unpleasant feelings it brings. Humor can help you find hidden anxieties and fears.
- If a joke hurts your feelings, you don't have to pretend that you think it's funny. Everyone has sensitivity and everyone has sensitive moments. If you're constantly being teased in a way that hurts your feelings, explain that you don't like the joke and want the distraction to stop.
Step 4. Learn what kind of jokes cross the line
If a joke is racist, sexist, homophobic or smacks of fanaticism, you should feel free to politely stop it. Ask "Can you tell me where the funny thing is?" or say "That's not funny." You're probably not the only one offended so you'd do your best to protest.
People who tell inappropriate jokes often defend themselves by saying "This is just a joke." You can reply "Yes, sexist/racist/religious harassing jokes (etc)"
Method 2 of 3: Learn to Have Fun
Step 1. Learn to tell the kinds of jokes you find funny
Once you've learned what kind of humor you like, try to include it in conversations with your friends. Make an effort to tell jokes you've learned and don't be too disappointed if they don't make your friends laugh. Try to tell the joke as if you were commenting on the weather that day. The casual storytelling is often the funniest part of the absurd moment.
- Make up a joke. Look for the absurdity of situations you've been in or unreasonable decisions you've made and try to tell them like a funny story.
- Write cute captions for the photos you take. Do the objects in your photos seem to be doing something different from what they're actually doing? Saying they did something they obviously didn't do is one easy way to make a joke.
Step 2. Make jokes about the experiences you had together
Most conversational humor focuses on a shared situation, whether it's the weather or the workload. Joking about similarities doesn't have to be very funny: the main function of these jokes is to increase feelings of commonality. If it's raining hard outside, tell me what a wonderful day it is for a picnic in the park.
Step 3. Joke nicely and carefully
Joking about relatives shouldn't put them in a bad light. For example, if you and another friend are making fun of a friend you both know, try to joke about the positive aspects of that person instead of their weaknesses. If a colleague is always on time, say you made them a role model for setting your watch. If your child has written a great piece of paper for a school assignment, say that it looks like he will be promoted to teacher next year.
Avoid jokes that comment on other people's appearance, even in a positive way. When assessing appearance, we inevitably get stuck in trying to impose values, class groupings, and also gender. Joking about someone's appearance is likely to put that person in an uncomfortable position and signal your attempts to dominate
Step 4. Joke with yourself
Joking around with yourself is a great way to relax and get away from a lot of stress. Joking with yourself is also an important tool for dealing with various difficulties in life. Learn to take your problems lightly and laugh at your mistakes. When you make a mistake or experience disappointment, laugh at yourself and think of ways to turn it into a story later.
- To see the humorous side of a situation, you have to take a step back. Taking a bit of this critical distance can help you see all parts of the situation.
- Developing a sense of humor helps you develop resilience and can ease you through life's most difficult times.
Method 3 of 3: Studying Your Sense of Humor
Step 1. Find out what you find funny
Your sense of humor is influenced by the way you think, and has a lot to do with how you socialize. The next time you come across something funny, think about it. What's funny about it? Is that surprising? Common? Excessive? Write down all of these elements if you can. What elements can be changed or removed so that the humor can be lost?
- For example, you might laugh at a video of someone falling while trying to impress someone else. You'll probably still laugh if the person falls down when you're not trying to impress the other person, but you'll laugh a little less. If the person falls and is seriously injured, you may not laugh at all.
- Find out if you share a sense of humor with anyone you know. Does only your sister know how to make you laugh? Ask him what makes him laugh.
- Your sense of humor is likely to point to your other skills. Are you a mathematical thinker? You may find puns or puns funny. Are you a big picture thinker? You may have a knack for telling ironic humor. Think about your strengths and how they relate to things that are funny to you.
Step 2. Find out what you don't find funny
The next time you don't understand a joke, don't despair. Think about it, don't you understand that it was meant as a joke? Do you think that is a serious statement or do you think the joke is a mistake? Most jokes rely on social context to be understood. Study your friends and colleagues when they find something funny. What do they react to?
- If you understand that something is a joke but are bothered by it, ask yourself what bad feeling the joke brings. It is often more difficult for us to accept humor about our weaknesses and wounds.
- Find out if you missed the social context. Ask a friend to explain the joke if you don't understand it. You may find the joke funny once you understand why your friend feels that way.
Step 3. Comedy exploration
Watch comedy shows and videos of different stand-up comedians to learn the types of humor that appeal to you. If videos never make you laugh, try listening to a comedian's tape and reading funny novels or comics. You may find that you respond more to written words than to sounds or that you respond more to illustrations than to facial expressions.
- Most comedies aren't funny to most people. So don't give up if you need some time to find something you like. If you don't like Komeng, try Pandji.
- If you're having trouble finding comedians or comedies you enjoy, look for work produced by people with backgrounds that are similar to your own.