Many people face the problem of negative thought patterns. Thoughts will affect everyday life, including emotions and behavior. We need to know how to overcome negative thoughts to prevent negative consequences from arising. The good news is that you can change negative thinking habits by recognizing your mindset, changing what you think, thinking more optimistically, and dealing with negative thoughts in the right way.
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Method 1 of 4: Recognizing Negative Mindsets
Step 1. Make a list of negative thoughts that come up spontaneously
Thoughts are directly related to feelings and behavior. Therefore, our thoughts will influence the feelings that will affect the way we behave. All three (thoughts, feelings, and behavior) also influence each other simultaneously. This idea plays an important role in behavioral therapy through cognitive aspects (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy [CBT]), which is one of the therapeutic techniques to overcome negative thought patterns. CBT is a very effective therapy for changing negative thought patterns. Keeping track of all negative thoughts makes you more aware of what you are thinking and increases your ability to correct your thought patterns.
- Some examples of negative thoughts: "I'm so stupid, there's nothing good about me, bad things will happen, (and) I'm doomed to fail."
- If you are in doubt about your mindset, ask a family member or friend if they can tell you a thought pattern they think is negative or detrimental.
Step 2. Find out why you have a negative thought pattern
You can find out the cause of negative thought patterns by knowing the source of the thought patterns. Maybe you have a negative way of thinking because of a problem you've been through.
- Find out the causes or situations that make you habitually think negatively. For example, if you're thinking "I'm no good," try to figure out the situation that made you think this way. Certain circumstances can affect your thinking, for example: my mom told me I should get good grades, but I failed, I was fired from my job, my relationship was over, and my friend was being mean to me.
- After that, try to figure out when and how negative thoughts tend to occur so you can find patterns in your thoughts. In what situation? Who is with you? Where were you then? For example, if you often think that you are stupid, observe these thoughts usually occur when you are where, who you are with, and when so you can identify patterns. For example, you might think, "I'm stupid" for being late for work, during work, or being alone.
Step 3. Form a pattern from the list you created
First, identify your specific mindset before changing it. Negative thoughts are usually formed into thought patterns called basic beliefs or harmful thinking habits. This mindset will be embedded in our minds. Besides being detrimental, this thought does not match reality. Such extreme thinking does not take into account that there are many other factors that influence life experiences or people. Write down any thought patterns or habits you have. For example, if you tend to think, "I'm stupid," this thought is one sign of a self-critical mindset. There are some common thinking mistakes:
- “Exaggerating” which means thinking the worst is going to happen, for example “Something bad is going to happen.”
- “Generalize” which means summing up what you will experience based on one particular incident and then thinking, “I always make this mistake.”
- “Mind reading” means thinking that you know what other people are thinking. For example, "I know he doesn't like me."
- “Foretelling the future” which means believing that you know what will happen, for example, “I will fail.”
- “Self-criticism” means thinking negatively about yourself, for example, “This is all my fault. I'm stupid."
- "Thinking in black and white" which means thinking only as good or bad in anything and nothing in the middle. For example, a person who thinks in black and white will say "He is the most annoying person" or "He is the most fun person", but never think, "Even though he is difficult to deal with, he can still be friends with."
Step 4. Think about the consequences
Try to understand why certain thoughts are considered negative so that you know why they need to be changed. For example, if negative "I'm not good enough" thoughts are causing you trouble socializing, low self-esteem, or self-harm, these are negative direct results. Try to remember the negative consequences that have occurred when these recurring thoughts arise.
In the list of negative thoughts, also write down the negative consequences of thinking negatively. Do this for every negative thought you can find
Step 5. Record your thoughts
Make notes to identify negative thoughts every day or every week.
Determine the ideas that support and don't support your thoughts. Use these arguments to determine which thoughts are true and beneficial. For example, if you have a negative thought, "I'm not good enough," bring up ideas that contradict these thoughts: I'm worthy, I'll do my best, I don't need to be considered good by everyone, I'm already a good person
Method 2 of 4: Changing Harmful Thinking Habits
Step 1. Don't use negative words
Stop thinking about the words "won't" and "can't". Allowing negative thoughts to keep popping up will influence you to react in a way that leads to negative consequences. Make a conscious effort to replace these words with “will” and “could”. Accept the fact that everyone may experience failure, but see this as an opportunity to learn from experience so that you can be better later.
Write down negative or extreme words that you usually use, such as “always” or “never”. This is an example of one wrong mindset, namely black-and-white thinking. After that, use a more neutral perspective or way of speaking, for example, “often, sometimes, or sometimes”. Write down these words and observe how you use them in dialogue. Remind yourself to always speak in words that are more neutral or more acceptable to others
Step 2. Understand the relationship between negative emotions and thoughts
After recognizing a negative thought pattern, be aware when these thoughts arise and immediately change them with positive thoughts.
- Always try to monitor your thoughts and be aware of any negative thoughts. You can do this by realizing every time you have a negative emotion and then thinking, "What thoughts caused this emotion?" For example, if you're feeling depressed, ask yourself, "Is this emotion just because I think I'm not good enough?"
- If the thought arises, “I am not good”, replace it with another thought and say to yourself over and over, “I am good. I deserve to be loved.” Alternatively, think back on past experiences and think about what you experienced in detail, for example, “I failed to achieve what I wanted when I was younger. As I got older, I realized that everyone has experienced failure in their life. Experiencing failure doesn't mean I'm not good enough at trying. I did make mistakes and failed in achieving my goals, but now I know that I can try again and keep practicing until my goals and dreams are achieved.”
- With continued practice, you will get used to a more balanced mindset and become more skilled. However, try to monitor your thoughts and try to change them, if necessary.
Step 3. Choose a realistic or positive explanation
Anything in this life can be considered good or bad. For example, if someone gives you a bottle of perfume, it might be because they like you (positive) or because you smell bad (negative). To find out the truth, think of the most realistic explanation and then tell yourself (better out loud). After that, think about the reasons (realistic) why the explanation must be true.
Method 3 of 4: Positive Thinking
Step 1. Think of the things you are grateful for
Make a list of things big and small for which you are grateful, such as family, loved ones, pets, a comfortable home, etc. This can help you appreciate how many positive things there are in everyday life because you need to be able to focus on what you have, not what you don't have.
In bad situations, focus on the positive things in your life, don't dwell on what is not good. Pay attention to what you sometimes forget, for example the house that is always your shelter and the food that is always served to fill your stomach
Step 2. Practice your mindfulness
The practice of mindfulness-building techniques has been shown to reduce negative thoughts that arise spontaneously. Awareness will distract us from negative things. People who have this ability tend to be less prone to depression and anxiety. You will free yourself from negative thoughts by diverting your attention to positive things. This ability is very much needed in the exercise of controlling emotions through therapy with coping techniques. Live in the present, don't think about the future or the past excessively. Many people spend so much time regretting past experiences or worrying about what might happen that they can't enjoy their present life. Accept that you can't change the past, but you can control your present life which will affect your future.
Practice mindfulness by focusing your attention on what you are doing right now, such as eating, bathing, or other routine activities. Try to be fully aware of what's going on right now and accept everything you're going through. Pay attention to what you physically feel, what you see, and the sensations you experience. Focus only on the activity you are currently doing
Step 3. Think of each day as a new opportunity to achieve your goals
You can discover new opportunities and opportunities available all the time. By setting goals in life, you can focus your energy on positive things and no longer feel anxious because you are always thinking negative things.
- Start by making some plans that you want to achieve in 6 months, for example: applying for a job, graduating from college, buying a car, making more friends, or whatever else you want to achieve. Set a target that you can achieve and be realistic. You can use the worksheets on your computer or create your own.
- Start the day by focusing on the effort you need to put in to reach your goals.
Step 4. Accept the change
Realizing that change is a part of life can prevent negative thoughts from saying that life is always full of problems.
- In everyday life, we sometimes encounter problems that are so difficult and perhaps unavoidable that things don't go our way. Try to see the problem as an opportunity for growth or as a universal experience that happens to everyone (such as death) so that you can overcome it.
- Make up your own mantra or give positive affirmations so you can accept change, for example, “Everything will go as it should” or “Change will open up new opportunities”.
Method 4 of 4: Get Rid of Negative Thinking Habits for the Next
Step 1. Use coping techniques
We all have a tendency to think negatively. In addition to knowing how to change them, you also need to be able to deal with negative thoughts if they are true. For example, if you lost a loved one, you might think, “I miss him so much,” according to the truth. This thought does not need to be changed if it is true, realistic, and useful. Therefore, we must learn how to deal with negative thoughts and negative situations.
- Distinguish between negative thoughts that need to be changed and negative thoughts that are real. Check whether your thoughts meet the criteria for adverse thoughts as described above, namely: exaggerating, predicting the future, self-criticizing, overgeneralizing, black-and-white thinking, and mind reading. If your thoughts don't meet these criteria, it's probably not a negative thinking habit. If you are dealing with a difficult situation, such as grief over the loss of a loved one or a health problem, this is a situation where negative thoughts are acceptable.
- Change or distract yourself by doing fun activities so that you don't continue to think negatively. Use coping techniques to deal with negative thoughts and emotions, for example by engaging in creative activities, writing, and expressive exercises such as dancing.
- Do activities in the open. Sunlight and fresh air make you feel better and can change your perspective. Getting up early and moving around can improve your mood and help you think positively.
- If you belong to a certain belief or religion, make it a habit to pray.
Step 2. Accept your thoughts
Don't be so quick to change the right mind. Acceptance is an important aspect of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) to change the relationship between yourself and the thought patterns you form, not by changing them right away.
- Accept the fact that we often think negatively so that you are not affected anymore.
- There are right and wrong thoughts. Don't just believe your thoughts as facts. These are just ideas you came up with and you can ignore.
Step 3. Focus on your physical and mental health
Negative thoughts will continue to grow if we feel physically and mentally unwell. Good physical health has to do with optimism. Therefore, you must take care of yourself, especially during difficulties.
- Get used to implementing a balanced diet by eating fruits, vegetables, protein, and vitamins. Don't drink alcohol, take medication as prescribed by your doctor, and avoid illegal drugs.
- Exercise is a great way to increase positive emotions and distract you from negative thoughts. Take up creative new sports, such as hiking, rock climbing, dancing, aerobics, self-defense, and yoga.
Step 4. Ask for guidance and support
Reading this article is a great start. You can also read other people's experiences to see that changing a negative mindset to a positive one is something you can do. Search the internet for information about “positive thoughts”, “positive phrases”, etc. There are many positive people around you who are willing to help others get rid of negative thoughts.
Step 5. Get therapy
If negative thoughts lead to extreme emotions or harmful behavior, you may need therapy or medication. Consult a professional therapist if you think you are hurting yourself or someone else, have been feeling depressed or upset for more than a week, have trouble concentrating, have trouble sleeping (too much or too little), change in weight or appetite, lose energy, have no interest in doing things. activities that you have enjoyed, are easily irritated, and always feel tense.
- Consult a psychologist, licensed professional counselor, marriage therapist, or family therapist. There are several therapies that can specifically help people change negative thought patterns, such as cognitive behavioral therapy (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy [CBT]), acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), and dialectical behavior therapy (Dialectical Behavior Therapy [DBT]). DBT is a therapy that helps a person improve the ability to accept pressure (deal with negative thoughts and emotions), learn to build awareness, and establish effective relationships.
- Consider treatment options. If you have severe negative thought patterns (thinking about hurting yourself or others), have recurring depression, or feel anxious, you may have a more serious mental health problem. In this case, medication can be an option for dealing with emotional disturbances and problematic thought processes (eg delusional disorder). Consult a psychiatrist for evaluation results or discuss psychotropic treatment options.
Tips
- Negative thought patterns can be contagious. Make friends with people who are optimistic and make you feel happy.
- Start small. Turning negative things into positives will be easier if you do it gradually. Changing a very bad thought into a very good one in a short time can be very difficult. Telling yourself that you really like someone you hate is tantamount to lying to yourself and is pointless. Instead, try to find the smallest positive aspects and make sure you believe in them before you move on to looking at the bigger positives. Don't force yourself to think positively. Accept that negative thoughts create contrast in life and remember that if you don't know what you don't like, you don't know what you like either. You can choose what you think about, but don't despair if you fail every now and then. Instead, if you notice a negative thought pattern reappearing, see it as an opportunity to get an answer to a problem. Emotional issues are usually very complex and overlapping. In addition to the many causes and the years to treat them, many factors play a role in causing emotional problems. Being patient and building awareness is a long process until you can stay calm when negative thoughts arise again. Be nice to yourself.
Warning
- Don't let negative thoughts arise again. Eliminate and replace untrue and unrealistic negative thoughts with positive thoughts. This method will form a positive mindset that replaces a negative thought pattern.
- If you think you want to hurt yourself or someone else, talk to a psychologist or doctor as soon as possible.
