When joining a religious organization, it is difficult to distinguish between a legitimate community and a forbidden sect. Once you join and realize that this organization is a forbidden sect, it is very difficult to break free. Which community or organization would want to acknowledge its existence as a forbidden sect? You're more likely to be stuck if you can't ask questions, make decisions, or disagree with the cult leader. Everyone was at risk of being trapped in a forbidden sect, but not all members dared to leave it and rejoin a legitimate religious community. This article explains how to devise a plan to safely leave a forbidden sect and then recover from spiritual problems and emotional disturbances.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Escape
Step 1. Pack your things
If you join a cult that requires all of its members to live communely in a certain place, such as a barracks or dormitory, pack up to escape. Put clothes, cell phones, ID cards and personal necessities in your bag, then hide them so no one can see them until you're ready to go.
- If there's an opportunity to escape, but you haven't had time to pack up, take your cell phone, ID card, money, and valuables with you.
- Don't pack if you're worried that someone might find your bag. Just leave your bag and clothes in the hostel.
- Have an answer ready in case someone asks why you're packing.
Step 2. Write down the names of people who can help you
Choose a few people outside the sect who can provide assistance, such as a friend, doctor, neighbor, or other person. Write the name, then note the help needed next to each person's name, such as preparing food, finding a job, or letting you hide from other cult members. If the situation is safe enough, contact them for help.
Step 3. Find a place to live
If you want to leave a cult that requires all its members to live in dormitories, prepare a safe place to live before leaving, such as at the home of relatives or friends who are not members of the cult or find a temporary place to stay.
If you feel unsafe after running away, go to the police station. This step is safest for teenagers. The police can help contact your parents or relatives who can help you
Step 4. Take the opportunity to escape
If you are not free in and out of the hostel, leave the cult when someone visits you at the hostel or picks you up for a trip. Also, go by bus if the hostel is close to the bus stop, call a taxi, or have a friend/family member pick you up.
Step 5. Do not attend worship services or gatherings
If you have left the dormitory, do not attend the meeting again. Make plans to do other activities. You can be tempted to attend cult activities if you are unemployed.
- For example, visit a friend's or relative's house to fill in the schedule you've been using to attend cult gatherings.
- Prepare answers if someone asks so that you can respond and refuse to join a forbidden sect again.
Part 2 of 3: Keeping You Safe
Step 1. Keep your plans a secret
Don't tell the cult members that you are leaving the dormitory. Maybe he will get in your way. When you're in the dorm, he'll keep an eye on you, making it harder to escape. Follow the sect's activities as usual so that no one gets suspicious.
Don't divulge the secret to anyone in the sect. Even if someone seems to support you, they can change their mind and leak your plans
Step 2. Document interactions with cult members after you leave the dormitory
If you don't hide, maybe you can still communicate with the sect members after escaping. Make sure your interactions are as brief as possible and take notes on what is said. If it's not against the law, record every conversation.
- Documentation of the conversation can be evidence if you need to take legal action.
- The cult administrator may be trying to get you to join again. Prepare a reason for refusing so that you do not comply with his wishes.
- For example, you could say, "I don't want to be in the community anymore. Don't talk about this anymore."
Step 3. Put yourself first, instead of wanting to help others in the sect
Do not contact a member who is still living in the dorm and try to persuade him or her to run away. Your efforts will be in vain. In fact, you can be influenced so that you return to the dorm.
- Try to restore your life so that you can be an example to others who leave the forbidden sect.
- Indecisive people may contact you. This is the best opportunity to help them.
- If parents, siblings, and/or relatives are still members of a forbidden sect, it is very difficult to cut off communication with them. However, you must do so to stay safe and separate from the sect.
Step 4. Determine whether or not to take legal action
Report to the police if a cult member harasses, threatens, or monitors you. Involve the authorities if anything illegal happens inside the hostel or cult activities endanger others.
For example, if someone in the sect commits physical violence or sexual harassment, report this to the police immediately
Part 3 of 3: Restoring Emotional Health
Step 1. Apply boundaries consistently
Keep your stand to leave the forbidden sect. Remind yourself why you ran away and tell the other members that you don't want to communicate with them. Learn to make your own decisions and work on restoring your personality.
Sect administrators are very adept at controlling members by neglecting their privacy. You need to practice diligently, even go to counseling to restore self-esteem in the right way
Step 2. Remember that many sects have noble missions and do a lot of good
You can do good to help others independently without joining a forbidden sect or group. You don't have to live in fear, obey rigid rules, face the mistreatment of a cult leader, or allow others to control your thoughts and feelings.
Step 3. Enlist the support of others who are not members of a forbidden sect
Many people will sympathize with you even if they don't know the challenges you face. After leaving the forbidden sect, restore your life by gathering with your family, friends, and those who care about you. Also, join a spiritual violence survivor group.
If you're having trouble adjusting, talk to a counselor or spiritual guide who can help you live a normal life
Step 4. Interact with former cult members who have gone through the same thing in a support group
Many groups were formed to help victims of forbidden sects. Search the internet or Facebook for these groups, then get involved in seeking support from people who understand your concerns.
Step 5. Be prepared for the cult administrator to excommunicate you
Once the sect master realizes that you are not coming back, he may block your contact. Even though he engages in a dangerous ideology, being rejected by someone who was once a good friend is painful. Overcome this by relying on a new support group and using the time to do useful things, like work or study.
Step 6. Learn from others who have left a forbidden sect
Contact former cult members to learn how they fit in. Use the internet to find stories about the personal experiences of people who have left forbidden sects. Understanding the tips they apply during the transition makes you more prepared and confident to take the same steps.
If you can get in touch with a former member of a forbidden sect and he seems willing to help, form a friendship with him. He is able to provide guidance and support so that you can recover and live a normal life
Step 7. Look for new ideas and insights
Learn how to think critically and make your own decisions. Broaden your horizons to understand different opinions by reading books and newspapers, watching interesting TV shows, and discussing with many people. Be aware of wrong thought patterns, such as generalizing and blaming yourself.
For example, if a cult leader teaches you that life's hardships are the result of mistakes you made, remember that this view is incorrect
Step 8. Consult a professional counselor
Counseling after leaving the community (exit counseling) can help you adjust to a lifestyle outside the dormitory. If you've been a member of a cult long enough or have a severe emotional breakdown to socialize, a professional counselor can help you change your mindset and become an independent person.
