Emotions are something that is hard to hold on to by the tail. It comes from within us, but it doesn't seem like it. However, if you want to reduce love, grow it, or stabilize it, you absolutely have to be in control and "make all those emotions" yours completely. With some good habits, you can do this.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Reducing the Love You're Living
Step 1. Don't let yourself get hung up on romance
Like it or not, we have to control our own thoughts. If you're remembering, emotions will be more difficult to control if the he continues to "ring" in the head. So, if such thoughts arise, change the direction. Keep yourself busy. Don't glance at the clock. Let the thoughts come to you sometimes, but don't wallow in them. Get up.
This applies to anything from romance to diet to quitting smoking. For example, let's say you suddenly want to eat cheesecake. Even though I was not hungry before. Didn't even think about enjoying dessert. But suddenly thought of cheesecake. You start to imagine the deliciousness of the cream and its taste, feel the sweet and sour strawberry juice on the tongue, as well as the crunch of the crust. The deeper you imagine, the more convinced you are of how much you need to eat that cheesecake. Now imagine if you stopped daydreaming thirty seconds ago. You definitely won't want cheesecake at all
Step 2. Activate the “if-then” plan model
Research shows that we tend to make better decisions if we “plan well in advance”. We may not be able to control what we want, but we can still control our actions. A good diet plan isn't something like “I'm going to stop wanting fries” – it's “I'm going to stop eating fries.” So, when the desire to love it appears, immediately replaced or transferred. If you suddenly want to call her, call your mother. If you suddenly want to check your SMS for the thirty-third time this afternoon, just play Candy Crush. This is a great plan for dealing with cravings and turning them into more constructive behavior.
Let's continue with the cheesecake example. Let's just say that you really, really, really like cheesecake and are starting to develop a habit problem. You often find yourself lying in bed, muttering to yourself, “Tomorrow, I'm going to stop eating cheesecake. It's that simple." "That's right." The next morning, you eat another cheesecake for breakfast. Instead you think, "Tomorrow, if I want cheesecake, I'll eat the sugar-free kind." Then, “I'm going to switch to a sugar-free cheesecake with no crust.” Then, “I'm going to switch to a strawberry-flavored cheesecake.” Then finally, “I just want to eat strawberries.” That's a plan you can implement and stick to
Step 3. Spend time with other people
It's not about reducing the time you spend with certain people; but increasing free time with other people (though both are ideal to go hand in hand). If you always come home late at night and have too much free time, your thoughts tend to be all over the place and therefore all kinds of feelings tend to be more intense. But if you keep yourself busy with other people, you will always be busy and benefit socially; which of course feels very comfortable.
What's more, you'll find that other people are also interesting to watch and that spending time with them is also beneficial. Everyone has values and you are the one who loses if you don't want to study around. Take advantage of their presence in your life and spend precious time together for the sake of yourself and your mental health
Step 4. Smile
It is fairly easy to accept that our minds control our bodies. When we are happy, we smile; when we are sad, we cry. But sometimes it's not that simple. The connection between mind and body turns out to be "two-way". If you want to make the mind feel something, give the body a signal. When you smile, you'll feel happier, you'll be easier to laugh at, and your mind will be loaded with little endorphins running around, making you feel more comfortable. All sorts of thoughts about other people? Drive away by itself.
Come on, give it a try. Right now. Put a smile on your face and keep it. Lift your chin, push your shoulders back and smile. Guaranteed you will feel at least a little better. And did you know? According to research, smiling also makes us more attractive in the eyes of others, can change moods, relieve stress, boost the immune system, and even lower blood pressure
Step 5. Do meditation
Smiling while meditating not only serves to control love but also emotions. Both can make you happier and more “zen,” which in turn makes you feel better and live on the path that “you” want, by thinking what you want to think. All kinds of entangled thoughts will feel easier to "get rid of" if the mind is focused and focused.
All you have to do is 15 minutes or so a day to focus on, well, nothingness. A little time to relax and absorb nothing but the feeling of calm. This can be done in the form of traditional meditation (“ummmm”) or even just sitting back and reading a favorite book that you really like and are good at. If it makes you feel zen, then do it
Step 6. Do what you love to do
The best way to keep busy and not think about certain people is to fill your life with things that make you happy and fulfilled. If you like playing guitar, play it to your heart's content. If you like to paint, paint. If you like dressing up dolls and photographing them performing in the circus, for God's sake, go for it. No matter what it is, the main thing is to keep the mind positive and productive.
When most of your time is dedicated to doing something that gives you a purpose, other things will run their course. All feelings that do not want to be felt, will fall out on their own. That twisted mind? Will be the past. You're calm, quiet, and whole, because you really do have "better things to do" than just obsessing over that person
Method 2 of 3: Cultivating Love
Step 1. Present yourself with the person
One of the most basic things you can do when you like someone is to be with them. Sounds easy, but remember, when was the last time you were with someone and you felt that they were 100% with you? He really wasn't busy with his cell phone, his eyes weren't darting around looking at people, he wasn't busy changing TV channels; just being with you completely. If you're capable of being that person, not only will your partner appreciate it, but you'll also feel more connected to it yourself.
It doesn't matter if it's set up or not, this must be something you "want" to make it work or if you're trying to have a healthy relationship, sometimes love demands hard work, even from the start. Even if you can't force love, you can still light the fire and help it grow, if there is interest and a willingness to do so. Being with a loved one is the first step in that direction
Step 2. Open yourself up
We all know the kind of person who prefers to be alone and never opens up. How come? Well, sometimes this is done to avoid attachment. The more you let other people in, the harder it will be to kick them out later. Yes, right? If you want your love to grow, you have to be willing to open up. Share yourself with others and you will find an intrinsic connection with them emerge.
You can start small, by sharing stories from the past. Then move on to the things you like and hate, then about how you feel about certain people and things. Don't sink into your deepest and darkest fears just yet; just do it when you're ready
Step 3. Look at the depth of their figure
The more you open up to someone, the more likely they are to open up back. You'll begin to see the uniqueness of her persona, and this can be a powerful and enlightening experience. His figure became multi-dimensional, strange, and interesting. Quite a lot of emotions that can be carried away by personal dynamics and time.
Spend some time thinking about how it exists beyond your own imagination. How great is the fact that they can “see” you? That they were able to surprise you? That he's thinking - right now, of things you wouldn't have guessed? If you are able to see him as a great human being, love will be the next most logical step to emerge
Step 4. Look within yourself
Sometimes what we feel has nothing to do with other people. How we see situations and events and then interpret how we see them and are powerless to do anything but turn a blind eye to other possibilities. So, the next time you think about him, could you actually be holding back your potential?
Take this as an example: let's say your husband just got home from work and immediately turned on the television. You are angry because you feel unwanted and ignored. While you have every right to feel that way, can't you also admit that this is indeed "private time" for the husband, and that he doesn't mean anything bad at all? Opening yourself up to the other side of an event will make it easier for love to flow naturally
Step 5. Get rid of feelings of fear and defensiveness
Sometimes it is completely unrelated to the situation at hand and is simply your own prejudice. Could it be that you are actually not ready for a romantic relationship? That you haven't mastered the ability to love yourself, let alone the ability to love others? Introspect and look for all the negative emotions that are holding back the development of one's potential. Master all of this so that your love life will change completely.
It's easy to get into a relationship that's filled with fear and defensive feelings, and thus becomes stuck, nowhere to go. We ourselves are afraid to open up and allow ourselves to be loved because we are afraid that love will not be there when we need it most. In order for love to blossom, all fear and anxiety must be removed. It is not easy, but it is possible to do it through self-awareness and the desire to change for the better
Method 3 of 3: Keeping Love Flowing and Stable
Step 1. Do the baby steps
When babies take their first steps, they're never sure if they'll make it across, but they believe in themselves, hoping to slowly and gradually make it to the end. When they arrive at their destination, they smile innocently and you can feel the joy of feeling the success in their beautiful eyes and the smile of victory. Romance is like that too; take a baby step, calm down, and be brave to take risks.
A new relationship is most enjoyable in its early stages and at this crucial time, when it's still easy to take unnecessary leaps and bounds. Do your best to stay logical and take those baby steps, as it will help you to be less emotional while safeguarding your future
Step 2. Spend time with friends
It's easy when you find a new love and then want to devote all your time to that person. Unfortunately, sometimes this makes relationships sluggish due to being too forced. You become too demanding for attention, urgent and desperate, even to the point of not remembering how to function as an individual without her presence. To avoid this, make sure you always maintain friendships. They are always there before, during, and they will also be there if you fall and need help getting back up. Don't let your friends go!
Most importantly, they are also the ones who keep you balanced and rational. Not only through wise advice, but simply by spending time with different people. Your mind will not be fixed on that one person all the time, while you can still be a complex and interesting person as you are, plus the strength of love and friendship is proof of that
Step 3. Put on your “rational” hat
If you're the type to fall in love too quickly, it helps to wear your "rational" hat every once in a while (even if you need to). This is like doing when you are introspecting your life (or life in general) and aiming to think logically. Here are some suggestions for keeping love sane and safe:
- The person you like is great, for sure, but realistically no better than any other fish in the ocean. Humans, in general, are essentially the same.
- Love comes and goes. If your past love affair ran aground and disappeared, this one can too, at some point, in the future. Therefore, enjoy and do your best while it lasts.
- Emotions cannot be held. You only think you feel it; if you change your mind, you won't feel anymore-whatever it is. So even though you may feel overwhelmed by emotions at times, it's really just a game of your mind. Nothing more than the movement of hormones booming in the head. It doesn't get any more real than that.
Step 4. Take time to “cool down”
Instead of stalking your lover or partner out of the house in the middle of the night, sending flowers during office hours, leaving notes in the car, or asking to hang out 24/7, take a moment to focus on calming down, being quiet and whole. You'll look more attractive if you're calm, and you'll definitely feel better too. When an emotional surge strikes, recognize and acknowledge that this is indeed an emotional attack. Only then will you be able to make a logical decision about how to react.
If you feel like you're losing your cool, take a step back. Take a breath and come up with a plan to distract yourself. Play video games, call friends, or go shopping. Recognize that you are getting a little emotional and this is not a good thing to let go of. If necessary, call a friend, tell them you're restless/heartbroken/crazy, then let them take your mind off it. After all, that's what friends are for
Step 5. Let it grow naturally
Sometimes people are so consumed with their own complexity that they try to match reality with their personal definition of how life or love should be. They say "I love you" too soon, get married too soon, or even end things too soon. Take time to get to know yourself, what behavior you want to do, and “why” it is. Do you really love this person, or just want to hear someone say “I love you” in your ear?
