Sometimes we find it difficult to be tolerant of the actions or words of others. Try to understand each person's perspective and avoid attacking each other personally. You can develop a more tolerant mindset by learning about different kinds of people, developing self-confidence, and appreciating diversity.
Step
Method 1 of 2: Be Tolerant in Difficult Situations
Step 1. Emphasize empathy
The first step to being considerate of another person in a difficult situation is to make a conscious effort to empathize with that person and to try to see things from their point of view. You may have different backgrounds and experiences, so what seems obvious to you may seem very strange to someone else.
Step 2. Ask for an explanation
When you're talking to someone and they say something you find difficult to accept, ask the other person's perspective without being intolerant or aggressive. Build a more comprehensive understanding of the person's point of view by asking them for an explanation.
- Say something like this: "I'm still not clear. Why do you think that?"
- In this way, you are tolerant by not ignoring his point of view and trying to understand something you don't understand.
- Seeking tolerance does not mean condoning unacceptable behavior.
Step 3. Ignore the differences
One way to deal with difficult situations is to try to ignore differences. Compared to accepting and respecting differences, this is a kind of negative tolerance, but it can still be useful. You need to avoid certain topics of conversation or even change the subject if necessary.
Step 4. Use sentences with the pronoun "I" instead of "you"/"you"
If you find it difficult to maintain politeness when talking to certain people, avoid making the situation worse. Avoid accusing or assuming anything about the other person. You can do this by starting your sentences with "I" instead of "you"/"you". Thus, anxiety/anger on both sides can be reduced; You can also be more open to the other person's point of view.
- For example, if you're talking about selling alcohol, you might say, "I think it makes sense that shops sell alcohol." This is a tolerant way of expressing your opinion.
- Avoid making statements that start with "you"/"you" such as "You're stupid because you want to ban the sale of alcohol."
Step 5. Resolve conflicts
If you find it difficult to empathize with or ignore conflict, and find it difficult to be tolerant, resolve the conflict. If the other person is a close friend of yours and you don't want this problem to interfere with the friendship, find a solution that is acceptable to both parties. All parties must of course be ready to try to understand each other and fully participate.
- Calmly explain things that you do not accept in the behavior or views of the other party. For example, "I don't agree with your views on abortion."
- Then you need to try to understand the cultural perceptions of the parties concerned. This can be done by asking: "What experiences have developed your view of abortion?"
- Then, explain how you view this in the customs and culture of each party. You can start by describing what your ideal situation would be like, then let the other person describe the ideal situation according to him. For example, you might say, "I think abortion should be complicated because…"
- Then, you can negotiate a path forward that understands and respects each other's differences. This will be easier if it turns out that there is only a mistake in understanding the behavior of the other person, than when there are different points of view that are difficult to find a middle way. Say: "Although I don't agree with your point of view, I now have a deeper understanding. Now that I know the reasons behind your belief, it is easier for me to understand your point of view and I would like to have further discussion."
Method 2 of 2: Developing a Tolerant Mindset
Step 1. Appreciate differences
To have a tolerant mindset, you need to understand and respect differences. People who value difference and diversity will be more tolerant of others, and will be able to more easily tolerate ambiguity and uncertainty. Intolerance can effectively narrow the outlook and make an ever-changing world very simple. Intolerance makes the world easy to understand by rejecting diversity and complexity.
- You can become a more tolerant person by opening your mind and looking at different perspectives and cultures.
- Talk to people you don't know, read newspapers or websites you don't normally open.
- Talk to people of all ages and cultures.
Step 2. Accept uncertainty
Research shows that an intolerance to ambiguity, or in other words the inability to accept uncertainty, is a trait that emerges among people who are less tolerant of others. Other research, conducted on a national scale, has also shown that people in countries that are more accepting of uncertainty tend to be more receptive to differences of opinion, more tolerant of different behaviors, more willing to accept challenges, and more positive toward younger people.
- It will be easier for you to accept uncertainty if your focus is on seeking questions rather than answers.
- If you always focus on the answer to a question, you will think that there is only one answer, and that answer is constant and unchanging.
- There are usually many answers to the same question. If you keep your mind open and curious, you'll be more aware of differences, and more tolerant of ambiguity.
Step 3. Learn about other peoples and cultures
One of the best ways to become a more tolerant person is to educate yourself about other societies and cultures. When people show intolerance towards others, it is usually because they feel isolated or unsure about what other people are doing or saying. Take time to learn about different cultures and beliefs. Don't be afraid to ask questions, but ask politely and respectfully.
- For example, ask about different ways to celebrate an important day.
- You can also seek out new experiences to make things that previously seemed strange to you normal.
Step 4. Understand your feelings of intolerance
It will be easier for you to recognize and challenge your feelings of intolerance if you understand the context and its roots. Think about why you were intolerant of other people. Were you brought up with the advice that certain people are inferior to you? Or maybe you've had a bad experience with a certain group of people? Find out the reasons behind your particular feelings towards a group of people.
For example, maybe you grew up in a family that enjoyed demeaning people of a certain race or religion. Or maybe you've had a bad experience with someone from a different race or religion from yours, and those experiences shape how you think about that group of people
Step 5. Grow your self-confidence
People who are not confident, feel low on self-esteem, or often underestimate themselves, are usually people who tend to be intolerant of others. Intolerance can be a reflection of a person's feelings about himself. When you feel secure and confident, you will tend to be more open-minded and tolerant of others.
Step 6. Think of something that is hard for you to imagine
One interesting way to become more tolerant is to imagine things that are hard for you to imagine. This is a technique that psychologists use and it is useful for softening intolerance. The principle is that thoughts are hard to imagine for a long time, and because of that, you will learn how to cope with difficult situations.
- People tend to run away from difficult thoughts, which can lead to intolerant, impatient, or unsympathetic thinking.
- Choose a difficult thought, then spend at least 10 seconds each day imagining that thought.
- For example, if you can't imagine changing your religion, think: "I'm going to give up my religion and become a Buddhist (or another religion other than yours)."
- Then analyze what happened next. Is there a physical reaction in your body? What are the next thoughts that pop into your head?
Tips
- Remember the Golden Rule: "Treat others as you would want others to treat you."
- Accept that in this world there are different kinds of people. Finding the positives they have will help you build tolerance.
