In friendships, there may be times when you start to question whether your best friend wants to be more than just a friend. Although romantic feelings can arise at any time, you can see some obvious changes in his behavior and the way he treats you. These signs can help you determine if he is starting to become interested in being a partner, or whether the relationship will continue as a friendship.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Noticing Changes in Behavior
Step 1. Compare the way he treats you with the way he treats other people
As the two of you spend time with other friends, find out if he treats you differently from other people. He may be more affectionate with you, talk to you more, or comment on your relationship.
- When he treats you the same way he treats other friends, there's a good chance he's not interested in a romantic relationship with you. A friend who treats you the way he treated his ex-girlfriend may have an interest in you.
- This step can help you determine if he has a generally friendly personality, or if he's interested in a romantic relationship with you.
Step 2. Pay attention to the moments when you spend time together
You certainly enjoy spending time with your best friend. However, think about whether the activities you two do seem like a date. For example, do you go out to dinner and watch a movie with him? If so, are these activities usually done alone?
- When a person begins to be attracted to other people, he wants to spend more time with the person he likes. If you notice that the two of you are spending more time together than usual, and the activities are starting to feel like dates, there's a good chance he's really interested in you.
- You also need to pay attention to whether he starts telling you that he enjoys spending time alone with you. This may be his way of showing you that he wants a relationship that is more than just friendship.
Step 3. Listen to the way he talks
Listen to the way he talks about you to other people, and when he talks about other people to you. When a person is attracted to another person, he usually speaks in a special tone of voice intended for that special person. He may also appear nervous around you and blush.
- Pay attention to how often he laughs when he hears jokes or things you do. If he laughs more often than usual, there's a good chance he likes you.
- Usually, a person will not feel awkward when interacting with his friends. Therefore, if you start to feel that he seems shy or awkward when it comes to certain topics, it may be a sign that he is interested in you. For example, he may seem embarrassed when you talk about a school dance or a date you've been on recently.
Step 4. Listen to what he has to say
He may be trying to express his feelings indirectly. He may want to talk about romantic topics or ask if you're interested in someone right now. He also wants to deepen the relationship by asking deep questions about life, dreams, goals, and desires.
Since he is your best friend, he may pay attention to what you have said before. However, you may notice that he begins to remember small details about your life that are usually forgotten, such as exam dates or special appointments. He may want to show his memories of these things by cheering you on or commenting on the D day for your event
Step 5. Pay attention to the behavior or forms of seduction he shows
Seduction can indicate that he is interested in you, or it can reflect that basically, he is indeed a person who likes to flirt. You need to distinguish the meaning of the seduction he shows, but at least you can know his personality through the seduction. Look for signs of seduction, such as:
- He often compliments you.
- He smiles and looks at you when he talks about you.
- He touches your hair or face when he talks to you.
- He laughs when he hears your jokes, even when they aren't funny.
- He teases you or makes fun of you (for a joke of course).
Step 6. Pay attention to its appearance
You may feel that he starts to pay attention to his appearance when he is about to spend time with you. For example, she might wear cuter clothes or clothes you like, or she might put on makeup and do her hair. When someone is attracted to you, they often want to look their best.
If you start to feel that he is constantly improving his appearance when the two of you go out or go out together, there's a good chance that this is a sign that he likes you
Method 2 of 3: Paying Attention to Body Language
Step 1. Look for body language that shows interest
When a person is attracted to another person, he often shows his interest through body language. There are several different body language cues to show interest, and when you see him displaying these hints over and over again, it may be a sign that he's interested in you. Look for signs such as:
- He makes eye contact and looks at you.
- Subconsciously, he smiles when he talks about you.
- He tries to get closer to you (physically) by making physical contact.
- When you speak, his feet are pointed at you.
- It follows your body language when the two of you are talking.
- He touches his hair and face when you are talking.
Step 2. Notice if the frequency of physical contact is increasing
When someone is attracted to you, they want to show more physical contact with you. If the two of you usually don't hug much, now maybe the two of you hug each other every time you meet.
The forms of physical contact that exist may appear different at first. Instead of smacking your arm, he might give you a hug. Or, he seems to start touching your knees or arms more often
Step 3. Pay attention to when he shows physical contact
Physical contact between friends is normal (and normal). However, you may start to feel that he is starting to show more physical contact than before. He may want to bond more physically by hugging, embracing, or touching your hand.
- He may try to touch or rub hands with you "accidentally" when you're around him. This may indicate that he is nervous about other physical contact, such as a hug, but he wants to be around you.
- If you're not comfortable with the physical contact he's showing, you need to tell him nicely and politely.
Method 3 of 3: Assessing Your Relationship
Step 1. Find out how you feel
Are you interested in having a romantic relationship with him? Ask yourself if you'd like to have a romantic relationship with him if he actually likes you. How you feel about him as a romantic partner will influence how you react to his behavior.
- If you're really attracted to him, try to be honest about how you feel about him. If you're already seeing signs of interest in him, there's a good chance he's interested in you. Try giving him small hints that you're interested in someone else and see how he reacts, or ask him if he's been interested in anyone recently.
- For example, you could say, “Sa, I've been thinking a lot about our friendship lately. I think it would be nice when we could have a relationship that is more than just friendship.”
Step 2. Watch your own actions or behavior
Without realizing it, you may be giving him signs that you are interested in him. For example, you may seduce him, show physical intimacy, or be more open to him emotionally. If you are not interested in a romantic relationship with him, you need to stop the behavior or action because he may be confused when matching the signs he reads with your true feelings.
If you're attracted to him, you can still show signs of being attracted to him
Step 3. Talk to your friends
You may still be confused about whether or not he really likes you (and wants to be your girlfriend). In a situation like this, you can talk to your close friend and ask his opinion, and find out if he knows that your best friend is having a crush on someone.
- Be careful when you want to pour your heart out to other people. Don't let what you tell your best friend tell you back, to make him think that you've been talking about it behind your back. Make sure you only tell this to friends who are really trustworthy and have a good perspective on the situation you are in.
- You can also have a casual chat with one of his friends to see if he's interested in someone. You could say, for example, “Hi! I noticed lately that Haikal is no longer talking about Karin. Is he currently interested in someone else?”
Step 4. Talk to him
If you're still not sure, just ask him. This is a surefire way to find out if he's really interested in you, even if it's a risk you'll have to take. Maybe he doesn't want to ruin the friendship so he will feel uncomfortable telling you how he feels.
- Make sure you yourself really want to direct the friendship that is formed into a romantic relationship before asking him for certainty. If not, it's best if you don't ask that question and let the feelings slowly pass. If he suddenly comes to express his feelings, you can respond.
- If you want to ask him for reassurance, try saying, for example, "I don't want to make you uncomfortable, but I noticed that things have changed between us recently. I wonder if the change was driven by any liking that might exist between us.” Questions like these give him the opportunity to share his feelings with you.
Step 5. Approach the topic with care
If he doesn't want to open up yet, or brushes off your question by saying, for example, “Of course not! Are you crazy? We are friends!”, you need to let go of your doubts. After that, you can defuse the situation by saying, for example, “Okay, that's fine. I'm just curious anyway. Even if there really is love between us, I don't mind either."
If he is afraid to tell you how he feels, or is still struggling with his feelings, it may take a long time for him to be able to honestly express his feelings to you. Be patient and show empathy to him, and don't make him feel pressured
Step 6. Let him know that you value the friendship
Show him that your friendship with him is important and that you care about him. Regardless of whether the two of you end up in a romantic relationship or not, your friendship is something special and you shouldn't lose it.
- If he's attracted to you, but you don't feel the same way about him, maybe he needs to get away from you for a while. Of course it hurts, but know that he needs time to process his feelings and rise above the sadness.
- Let him know that you care about your relationship by saying, for example, “Fi, our friendship means a lot to me. You are a good friend and I am happy to have known you. However, I have no feelings for you. I hope we can remain friends.”
Tips
- Be yourself. Don't be a different person when you're around him if you really like him. If he likes you, he likes you for who you are and you don't have to change for him.
- Remain calm and relaxed, no matter what. Regardless of whether you have feelings for him or not, it's important that you find out if he has feelings for you if you notice that his attitude towards you changes at any time. Show him that he can express his feelings for you, without fear or worry.
- Try to communicate with him more often than just chatting on Facebook or texting.
- Be yourself and enjoy the moment together with him.
