Meeting your lover's parents is one of the first things you can do to move from a casual relationship to a more serious relationship. However, sometimes this makes you feel nervous. Luckily, there are a few steps you can follow to make your meeting with your lover's parents go smoothly.
Step
Step 1. Make sure you are ready
Be patient. You don't need to meet them until you're sure the relationship is serious. Usually after a relationship has lasted for three or four weeks, you can move on to a more serious relationship by meeting your lover's parents.
Step 2. Bring a small gift when you meet them
Ask your girlfriend about her parents' favorite cakes, flowers or chocolates. You can also ask if you will enjoy dinner together while drinking wine. That way, you can prepare the right gift from the start.
Step 3. Have fun
Anyone does not like people who often complain and whine. Avoid sad stories, comments about your ex, or fights that have happened between you. His parents certainly didn't want to hear it. As long as you and your partner seem happy, they will be happy too, so make sure your conversation with them stays on a positive note.
Step 4. Stay calm and be yourself
There's nothing worse than being fake and his parents can tell when you're faking it. Stay calm and try to enjoy the atmosphere. If you can be calm and not shy (or overly cheerful), they will feel comfortable with you and the conversation will flow more easily. When they ask questions (eg about your future or career), give honest answers, but make sure you reflect confidence in your life plans.
Step 5. Show interest
Ask questions about their children (your boyfriend, of course), their jobs, and their hobbies. That way, you can get to know them and show that you're not just interested in yourself. In addition, if you find something that you both like, you can have an interesting topic of conversation and that becomes an added point for you. Don't forget to compliment them (make sure you don't overdo it), no lies. For example, if you think their house is beautiful, compliment it.
Step 6. Wear clothes that impress them
You need to make a good first impression so wear appropriate clothes. Find out what you will do when you meet them. If you and your partner are going to enjoy dinner at a fancy restaurant, wear formal clothes. If you're just going to enjoy tea and chat with them, you can wear clothes that are casual, but still polite. As long as you don't look wrinkled like you just woke up and don't wear clothes that are too revealing, everything will be fine.
Step 7. Remember that his parents are still human, just like the rest of us
Step 8. Remind yourself that there is no reason to be nervous
So that you can enjoy time with them, first ask your lover questions about them. Ask about a few things, like something they like/dislike. Try setting up three new subjects from the start if the conversation starts to feel boring or awkward. If you don't know much about what they are interested in, it's a good idea to find out about it by reading in libraries or articles on the internet. That way, you can chat comfortably without having to keep smiling and nodding your head to hide your ignorance. Also, try not to have to take advantage of the three new subjects (or call it “emergency topics”) unless absolutely necessary. You don't have to feel the need to talk things over with them. Keep in mind that if they want you to come back for dinner together, for example, you need to learn something new they like and repeat the same process. Don't waste your "emergency topics" if you don't need them, unless the conversation starts to get boring.
Step 9. Good luck
Tips
- Always show them respect.
- Put a smile on your face.
- When talking about their child-your lover, let him join in the conversation without interrupting. Even though you seem to have become a big part of his life, don't give yourself the impression of "stealing" him from his parents.
- Don't force yourself to be different.
- Do not be nervous. Stay calm.
- Try to enjoy the atmosphere!
Warning
- Be yourself. Even if they aren't that interested in you, that doesn't mean there's no hope for your relationship. Make an effort to make your relationship run smoothly. After seeing your efforts, usually his parents will "pave the way" for you and your lover.
- The urge to force yourself to be a different person does exist. However, be yourself. If you manage to get a girlfriend, at least you can show that your personality is not bad.
- Don't be intimidating. His parents might be nervous, just like you.
- If possible, try to spend time with his parents. Thus, your lover will feel happy. It can also open up new opportunities for the future of your relationship.
