Have you ever been in the stressful situation of meeting your boyfriend's parents for the first time? Are you worried about the impression you will make? While parents' expectations of men dating their daughters vary widely, depending on the situation in each family and the culture they belong to, following these instructions will at least show you have good faith and increase your chances of being invited back to dinner with delicious grilled chicken menu.
Step
Step 1. Prepare ahead of time
Every girl is a different person, and every girl's parents are different, have different expectations. All of the following recommendations can backfire terrible if you don't consult with your boyfriend first to find out what his parents are like.
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Get as much information as possible from your boyfriend about his parents. What are their jobs? Do you and they have the same interests? Did they go on vacation recently? Are there topics that are considered taboo? This information will give you clues about what topics to talk about are considered safe, and what to avoid.
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Be prepared for tough questions. You know exactly what the question is - it's usually about your future (e.g., career, financial stability), your commitments to their daughter (e.g., marriage, future children), and your background (e.g., religion, education, race, etc.), etc). Imagine if his parents found out that you recently lost your job, that you can't afford an engagement ring or a house, even for the next few years, that you were caught by the police one night, or whatever you're afraid they'll ask. Put together the most responsible and smartest answers you can think of ahead of time. See the Warnings section below.
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Think that you will be compared to your previous boyfriend. Ask your boyfriend how his parents reacted to other men in his past life. What do they like or don't like about the men? By asking this question, you can get a lot of information about what NOT to do. Of course there is a chance that you will be faced with the unfortunate situation of having other men in the past who they thought were perfect for their daughter, and once you step foot through the door they will judge you by the man's standards. Unfortunately there's nothing you can do about this, but you have to anticipate it and prepare yourself for it.
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Step 2. Wear clothes that will impress them
Wear clothes that will impress them. Going to see a girl's parents wearing faded vintage jeans full of holes, plus the Che Guevara T-shirt you bought at a thrift store a few days ago for $50 probably won't get you the best judgement, unless they're parents. very quirky. This doesn't mean you have to wear a suit, just wear neat clothes (for example, a polo shirt or one that doesn't have the controversial writing on it). Wear neat, but casual clothes, and make sure the clothes are clean, of the right size (not too tight or too loose) and appropriate. Trim your hair to make it look neat and trim your nails. Ask for input from your girlfriend because she knows her parents very well
Step 3. Come on time
Don't stop in front of their house with the stereo booming heavy metal music. They will immediately criticize it (unless they like the same genre of music). Turn down the music volume. Park the car in front of their house, and lock all doors. This will be explained further.
Step 4. Show a confident attitude when you meet them
Hold the father's hand tightly. Nothing can give the impression of "I won't be able to take care of your daughter" worse than a mushy handshake. Also, a firm handshake will show that you are serious. All serious men do a tight handshake, sometimes coupled with holding the forearm. If the father happens to think that his daughter can take care of herself, or she's not a serious type of person herself (for example, the type who tends to be more quirky, intellectual or no-nonsense), a firm handshake won't hurt anyone (unless you squeeze his hand too hard). For the mother, the proper greeting can vary, from a handshake, a distant kiss, to a hug (or a combination of these). Some moms are introverts, and others will hug you tightly until you can't breathe and shower your cheeks with kisses. Ask your girlfriend for input on this. Regarding how to greet them, follow the cues given by your boyfriend. If he says "This is my mom and dad," show respect and address them as Mom and Dad, unless they ask to be called by another name. If your boyfriend says their name, remember it well. Tell them that you are happy to meet them, and thank them for inviting you to their home. Make sure you are very polite the first time you meet your lover's parents. Use proper grammar, and DO NOT use slang or slang. This behavior will show them that you are a good person, educated, and aware of where he is.
Step 5. Have a good conversation
One of the most important parts of meeting someone, whether it's meeting the parents, the girls, the president, is the conversation. By mastering the art of conversation, you will become a lethal weapon ready to knock out any parent, at any opportunity. Use anecdotes and, most importantly, timely (and appropriate) jokes. Punctuality is very important. Comments made at the wrong time can make the difference between "in-law" and "monster". Learn lessons from past experiences; for example, consider the conversation you had with your ex-boyfriend's parents (remember, he became an EX for some reason). After doing your research, you have some conversation starters ready to go any time. Avoid heavy or controversial topics of conversation. This is not the time to express opinions about human cloning. However, don't be a person who doesn't have a stand. If they ask your opinion, answer politely and honestly. If at some point the conversation stagnates, ask what your boyfriend was like as a child. This tactic is brilliant because parents love to talk about their children and it shows that you have a deep interest in their daughter.
Step 6. Treat your boyfriend well
Treat your girlfriend well. Pay extra attention to him. Pull out a chair for her at dinner, pour her a drink, open the door, and so on (these are all good habits that can be practiced outside of meeting with parents, or your boyfriend will get annoyed that you only show that kind of courtesy in front of his parents). At the same time, don't show too much affection with your boyfriend in front of his parents (for example, putting your hand on his ass). They should see you treating their daughter like a princess the way they treat her, not as a hot girl as you believe.
Step 7. Prepare for a Q&A session
Be prepared because in every first meeting there is always a moment when you will be bombarded with questions that will only stop after you are conquered. Fortunately, you have followed the instructions given here and anticipated most of these questions. It's important that you agree with most of these questions, unless they start with, “Have you ever…,” “When was the last time we…,” “Have you ever committed a crime…” - in which case you should carefully consider -heart. Be prepared that once in a while you may have to swallow your pride and be humble. By the end of the Q&A session, you may feel out of breath, battered, and not a hero anymore. However, if you do it right, the session will soon pass. Otherwise, be prepared for a sudden “family emergency” that results in your date having to somehow be cancelled. Don't be surprised if he suddenly has an uncle who lives in Medan, or suffers from myxomatosis that attacks humans, but you join in praying for the poor man to get well soon.
Step 8. Say goodbye
Shake their hand, give them a hug, or whatever seems appropriate. Thank them profusely for their invitation and smile. This part is the most relaxing of all the sessions with this nuclear family, but can only be enjoyed by the winners who have overcome all obstacles. This session is usually characterized by a fierce, evil look from the father (sometimes this role is taken over by the mother) when the father (or mother) opens the door and lets you out, accompanied by the words “Take him home before _ hours,” and you must answer that You'll be dropping off her daughter long before the appointed time. You can't avoid it.
Step 9. Don't look back
After stepping out the door, never look back because you know for sure that his parents are watching until you are out of sight. When you get to the car, make sure you open the door for your boyfriend first and let him in. Turn around and smile at the parents while closing the door if you feel desperate and want to run into danger. Once you get in the car, don't start the car until you both have your seat belts fastened, or you'll see his father frowning and frowning through the window. Finally, wave one hand from behind the door to signal that you are aware of them, and drive no more than 25 km/h until you are out of their sight.
Tips
- If your boyfriend has a curfew, take him home a little earlier. This action shows the parent that you respect their boundaries. After dropping him off a few times early, you'd be surprised to hear his parents say “Have fun as long as you want. We know our daughter is in good hands."
- Make sure your body is clean and not smelly. Try to always look neat and clean.
- If you're invited to dinner at their house, compliment the food.
- Remember that your boyfriend's parents have every intention of liking you, but they don't want their favorite daughter to date a badass guy the way you don't want to make that impression. Given this, they're probably just as nervous as you are. Calm them down by showing that you are charming and friendly.
- Chewing with your mouth open is considered rude and disgusting.
- Always show gratitude.
- In most homes, growling at a pet dog is considered rude behavior.
- Remember, the first thing they want is their daughter's happiness, and you've done that. So you've won half the battle!
- Be as honest as possible. Parents usually observe the behavior of you and their daughter when you answer questions. If you're lying, but your boyfriend knows the truth, it's pointless even if you try to cover it up well. However, just because you answered the question doesn't mean your boyfriend can't help. A subtle nod or nod can make all the difference whether his parents like you or not.
- Don't let your charm stop there! Treat your boyfriend with the same respect you would show his parents when you met them.
Warning
- If the parents don't swear, don't do it. Or, your value will decrease in their eyes.
- Do not exaggerate. People can sense if you are faking it.
- Show caution extra if you are dealing with religious parents. They will ask about your religious views, and might drag you into an argument. If possible, avoid talking about religion when you meet them.
- The stupidest things you've ever done, DO NOT need to be told!
- If you smoke, don't smoke in front of your parents or even tell them about the habit. Even if they are also smokers, never do it in their presence because they will not like it.
- Don't overestimate your position. If you're an IT programmer, don't say you're a research scientist, information architecture, security engineer, and so on.
- Don't smoke near your boyfriend. Most women find it uncool, and you probably won't get a chance on a second date if you're constantly looking for excuses to smoke.
