Want to introduce your parents to the guy you've been dating for a long time? Even if your goals are good, understand that the process that needs to be taken to achieve these goals is not necessarily smooth. To avoid problems that may occur, do not hesitate to discuss these desires with your partner. If your partner agrees, make sure the introduction process takes place in a casual manner so that it is easier for all parties to get closer to each other, even so that your desire for a more serious relationship with your partner can be realized soon.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Building Expectations of All Parties
Step 1. Ask your partner's willingness to meet with your parents
Basically, meeting your partner's parents is a very big step in any romantic relationship. Therefore, don't forget to ask your partner's willingness to do it before starting to plan. Spouse admitted tense? It's natural, why? However, if he admits he's not comfortable doing it and wants to postpone the meeting, make sure you respect the wish.
Enter the topic by saying, "We've been dating for quite a while, here, so I feel this is the right time to introduce you to my parents." Or, “My parents have started asking about you, here. Do you mind if I start to arrange a time to meet you two?”
Step 2. Give a description of the behavior of parents to the partner
If you've previously introduced a special man to your parents, chances are you already have an idea of how your parents react when introduced to your partner. Share the observations with your partner! For example, don't be afraid to tell him that your dad might keep staring at his face, or that your mom might ask him embarrassing questions.
To your partner, you might say, “My mom would probably tell me embarrassing things when I was little. Don't worry, he's just like that," and, "My dad can be a bit clumsy at times, but he's actually really nice."
Tip:
Don't forget to pass on the nickname your parents prefer. For example, parents who are very formal and conventional may prefer to be called "Father/Mother", while parents who are more modern and relaxed generally prefer to be called "Om/Aunt".
Step 3. Share your parent's interests with your partner
In fact, the flow of conversation will be smoother if your partner already knows a few things about your parents. Therefore, don't hesitate to provide information regarding your parents' hobbies, work, and social life to give your partner ideas on topics that can be discussed.
If you want, you can help your partner think about specific questions before the meeting. One of the questions that couples can ask is, “I heard you like to knit, don't you think? What are you knitting now, Aunt?"
Step 4. Tell your parents about your partner's interests
Since all parties have never met before, there is nothing wrong with telling parents a few things about the couple before the meeting. There is no need to give too detailed information, but just tell a few things about your partner's work and lifestyle to enrich topics that your parents can bring up later.
If your spouse and parents share similar interests, don't forget to mention them. For example, if your partner and father both love fishing, share those interests so your dad can use them as a topic of conversation
Step 5. Recommend clothes that should be worn by the couple
If your parents tend to be very formal or traditional, ask your partner to wear a neat shirt and trousers. On the other hand, if your parents tend to be more relaxed, ask your partner to wear neat jeans and a T-shirt. Most importantly, ask your partner to wear clothes that seem to match your parents' preferences and personality.
- Do not ask your partner to dress up excessively. For example, don't ask your partner to wear a full suit to a casual dinner.
- Try saying, “I know you want to make a good impression on my parents. Maybe you want to wear one of your best T-shirts for dinner tonight? They will definitely appreciate it.”
Step 6. Reassure your partner that everything will be fine
Encourage your partner not to feel nervous, worried, or scared! Explain how eager your parents are to get to know him, and let them know that they've heard a lot of positive things about him. Emphasize also that your parents are very pleasant people and will definitely get along with them.
- Understand your partner's anxiety. Remember, meeting new people is a stressful moment for anyone, especially your parents are important figures in your relationship and of course, respected by your partner.
- Calm your partner down by saying, “My parents just want to get to know my boyfriend,” and, “They really want to meet after hearing my positive stories about you!”
Method 2 of 3: Choosing the Right Meeting Time and Location
Step 1. Introduce your partner to your parents in a private moment, instead of at an event that involves a large family
Remember, meeting your parents has become quite a task for couples. Therefore, do not take it to activities that involve other relatives, such as family events or similar parties so that the burden does not increase. Instead, schedule a private meeting to give your spouse and parents more time to get to know each other better.
This method can definitely relieve your partner's tension, if any, when you meet your parents
Step 2. Invite your partner to visit your parents' house so that the moment of introduction takes place more intimately
If you want to introduce everyone in a more private setting, try taking your partner over to your parents' house. If you want, bring a side dish or drink to complement your parents' cooking. Trust me, this method will feel much more intimate than when the whole party is introduced in a public place.
Offer the idea to the parents by saying, “I want to take my boyfriend to my house, Ma/Pa, so you can get to know each other better. If Mama wants to cook, we can bring the drinks, can't we?"
Step 3. Choose a restaurant as a meeting location to build a more relaxed feel
Basically, the restaurant is one of the advantageous meeting locations because the atmosphere is very neutral. If you want to do this, you can make a reservation at your favorite restaurant. Then, come with your partner so they don't have to come first and go through awkward moments with your parents.
Offer the idea by saying, "Instead of Mama and Papa bothering to cook, let's meet at my favorite restaurant, shall we?"
Tip:
Choose a restaurant that is liked by all parties. In this way, both parents and partners can focus more on getting to know each other rather than on the taste of the food served.
Step 4. Invite parents and spouse to do activities together so that the minds of all parties can focus on one activity
If you don't want to talk too much, try asking your parents and partner to do an interesting activity, such as playing golf or bowling. By doing so, surely the bond between you, your partner, and your parents can be formed because all parties will work together to achieve the same goal.
In addition, because there is no activity that lasts forever, all parties can go home immediately after the activity
Method 3 of 3: Keeping the Conversation
Step 1. Name everyone
Start the interaction process by mentioning your partner's name to your parents, and vice versa. Also make sure everyone spells each other's names correctly to avoid misunderstandings.
For example, you might say, “Mom, Pa, this is my boyfriend, Zack. Zack, these are my parents, Uncle Mike and Aunt Terese.”
Step 2. Keep the conversation going by asking questions and leaving comments
Remember, you are the one with the most information about everyone in the room. Therefore, try to involve everyone in the conversation by asking about hobbies and daily life of your spouse or parents.
- Start the conversation by saying, “Where did Papa go up the mountain yesterday, anyway? Zack and I also like to climb mountains together, you know."
- "Eh Ma, what good books do you have lately? I just finished reading a very good book! You want me to tell you, don't you?"
- “Zack is a computer maniac, you know. You want to ask him about computers, don't you?"
Tip:
No need to worry about the occasional pause. After all you will feel awkward when meeting new people, right?
Step 3. Allow the parents to question the partner
Allowing parents to ask your partner questions is not easy. However, always remember that your goal is to help all parties get to know each other better, and letting your parents inquire about your partner's daily activities and goals in life is one of the steps you need to take to achieve this. Most importantly, make sure you are always ready to change the topic if your parents start asking inappropriate questions and make your partner feel uncomfortable].
- Questions like, "What do you usually do when you're not busy?" and "What's your goal in school, anyway?" It's still worth asking, but questions like, "How many people have you dated before?" can make a partner feel uncomfortable and should be avoided.
- Say something like, “I don't think he needs to answer that, Mom. How about you tell me about your new job?”
Step 4. Keep the topic of conversation light and casual
If there is a specific topic that you and your parents often argue about, such as religion and politics, don't bring it up! Instead, focus on light, interesting topics for everyone to talk about.
- Stick to topics like hobbies, life accomplishments, or fun vacation stories.
- For example, you could start a conversation by saying, “Our vacation to Europe yesterday was really fun, you know! Mama and Papa want to see the photos, don't they?" or, “Eh, last week Mama and Papa went to the beach, right? Fun, isn't it?"
Step 5. Don't leave your spouse and parents for too long
Since your parents and partner have just met, don't leave them for too long so they don't run out of topics to talk about, or even get stuck in uncomfortable situations. If you have to go to the kitchen or grab a drink, try getting your partner to follow and help you out.
