Winning back a girl's heart is harder to do than attracting the attention of a new girl, but if you really want to rekindle the dim fire of love, there are things you can do to maximize your chances. To get her back, you have to make her want you, show how far you've come, and then make an approach.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Make Him Want You Back
Step 1. Give him some freedom
The first thing you have to do is give the girl some freedom. If you start banging on his door and calling him every five minutes, he will pull away from you. The amount of freedom and the length of time you give him depends on what happened in your past relationship when you dated him. If you're ending a serious relationship, you'll need to give yourself a lot more freedom than if the two of you had only dated a few times.
- Don't call her, chat with her at parties, or email her just to find out how she's doing. Don't even think about him at all.
- If you see him, be friendly and say hello, but make it clear that you are not going to interfere with his life.
- But don't give him too much freedom. If you leave him alone for a few months, it will give him plenty of time to find someone new.
Step 2. Give yourself time for introspection
You should not only give him the freedom, but also yourself to introspect and think about what went wrong in the relationship. Take some time to think and ask what you've done so that he doesn't want you anymore. Are you being too caring, changing moods frequently, or being too distant? Whatever you do, make sure to never do it again if you want to be with him.
- Write down the things that have gone wrong. Consider what you can do to fix something like this.
- Don't date anyone during a period of introspection. Focus on self-improvement and try not to repeat the same mistakes.
- Don't chase it until you know what's going wrong and know how to change it.
Step 3. Get busy
While you shouldn't be busy in your room trying to win back the girl's heart, it's best if you try to live a busy and active life so that you can be free and do what you're interested in. If you just sit around waiting for the right time to reconnect with him, he'll figure it out.
- Keep doing your hobbies and interests. Don't stop doing the things you love just because of a broken heart.
- Spend time with friends. They will entertain and give you a new perspective.
- Exercising. Your self-respect will increase if you train a few times a week, and even better if he sees you running.
Step 4. Let him see you have a great life
Once you've given him some freedom and you've also done some self-improvement, he'll want you more. But now analyze the situation and let him see you as an impressive person and how nice it is to be around you. Think strategically. Without appearing like a stalker, make sure you're hanging out with other people in certain places so he can see what fun experiences are with you.
- Pretend laugh. If he sees you, try to laugh with your friends as much as possible but without being too obvious.
- Looks fun. If he's around you, act like he's very lively and interested in your conversation, which shows that you're a passionate person who loves talking to friends.
- Don't ignore him when he sees you. Give him a wave and get back to the fun chat you were having.
- Dance. Yes, right. Chances are he's upset that you don't dance with him more often. Let him know that you are dancing and having a good time.
- Let him know when you bring out the best in yourself. It's obvious that there's something he likes about you, so use the whole charm to your advantage.
Step 5. Make him feel jealous (optional)
This is a step that is not mandatory because it depends on the situation. If the two of you ended up because he was very jealous of you hanging out with other girls, then it's best not to make him jealous because it will only remind him of why things didn't work out between the two of you. But if your relationship ended because he thought you were too attracted to him, or he was bored by your attitude, then making him feel jealous is a good move. Here's how to do it:
- If you're chatting, casually mention other girls. You can mention a girl multiple times, which will make her wonder, "Who is this girl?" Or you could talk about a group of girls, mentioning that you attended a party that was mostly girls but you "don't mind that."
- Let him see you with another girl. Invite him to chat for a few minutes before flirting with the other girls in the place. Make sure you're close enough for him to see it.
- Don't overdo it. If he hears you talking about other girls and sees you flirting with other girls, he may want you more, but if you flirt with all the girls at every party, you'll come off as desperate or on bad terms.
Method 2 of 3: Indicating that You've Changed
Step 1. If it was too easy in the past, then make it now for him to come after you
If you can't figure out what went wrong in the relationship because you showered it with love, then chances are this is actually what has gone wrong. He must feel that love and relationship with you is too easy, so you have to make it more challenging.
- Stay away. You should still pay attention to him, but act busy or distracted and don't seem to be giving him all the attention. This will confuse him and will make him want you more.
- Don't praise too much. If you compliment him all the time when you're together, give him just one compliment to show that you're not obsessed with him.
- Let him come to you. He's probably used to having you go up to him, touch him, and talk to him all the time. Now, it is time to reverse the roles. If you're at a party, let him approach you instead of stopping what you're doing to get to him.
Step 2. If it was too difficult in the past, then make it easier now
If you broke up because he felt that you weren't giving him enough love or time or you were flirting with other women a lot, then it's time to do the opposite, make time for him, and don't go after other women.
- Show him that your schedule is free and that you are ready to accompany him at any time. He no longer has to look for free time to meet on the sidelines of your busy life.
- Don't make him jealous. In this case, you should stay away from the other girl as much as possible to show that you only want her.
- Take time to listen. If he thinks that you didn't care about his feelings before, maintain eye contact and let him talk without interrupting. You can mention something he said in the next day's conversation to show that you really listened to his every word.
- Praise him. If you've never complimented him before, he'll see that you've changed.
Step 3. If you hurt him, apologize to him
If you really want him back, you have to be a nice guy and apologize for your mistakes. If his heart is hurt because of you, he will stay away from you for fear of getting hurt again. So be brave and tell him you've made a mistake.
- Make sure to do it in private. This won't work if you just send him an SMS message or an email. This should be done in private, otherwise he'll feel like you're not taking the apology too seriously and so he won't take it seriously either. So be brave and go apologize for the wrong you have done to him.
- Do it sincerely. Maintain eye contact when talking to him and use a calm, steady tone of voice. He won't believe you if your tone sounds like you're apologizing that you had to.
- Be specific. Don't just say, "I'm sorry for everything." Say, "I'm sorry I didn't listen to you when you wanted to talk about it. I should have paid more attention to you." He'll appreciate it, and it will also make you appear more self-aware.
- Don't be disappointed if he doesn't accept your apology right away. If he doesn't accept it, chances are he's still thinking about what happened but he still appreciates your efforts. Say, "You can't blame the person who expects to be forgiven," instead of arguing with them to accept your apology.
Step 4. Show that you have changed into a better and more mature person
He can certainly see that you've changed a lot without you having to say it outright or convince him that you've become a different person. Let's face it, many girls are more mature thinking than their male partners, so impress him with your ability to think rationally and maturely.
- Don't change your mood often. Act calmly and steadily, and he will be impressed with you.
- Self-confident. Show him that you are happy with who you are and what you do, and he will be happier with you too.
- Be a responsible person. Show him that you can manage your finances, have a good job, and at the same time take care of your pet.
- Do not be jealous. Don't ask her about the guy she's talking to. This will only make him talk more to the guy, and will make you appear to be feeling agitated with concern.
Method 3 of 3: Approach
Step 1. Tell him how you feel
Once he wants you more and sees that you've become a different person, it's time to stop messing around and tell him how you really feel. Isn't there any other way but to say it? If it ends badly, he'll never want to talk about it again, so you have to be organized and open up.
- Tell him at the right place and time. Choose a time when he's not busy and you can be alone together, ideally at night or somewhere slightly apart.
- Maintain eye contact when you tell him. Don't look around, don't check cell phones.
- No more "the tough guy". It's time to open up, be honest and share your true feelings.
- First, admit what went wrong, and apologize again if you haven't. Then tell him that you've changed and that you really want to be with him again.
- Say, "I can't believe how stupid I've been all this time. You're the best thing I've ever had and I totally screwed it up. Let me fix my mistakes on you."
- Don't sound like you're begging him. Better to make it sound like it's not a problem at all. Let him know that you're trying to rekindle a relationship, and hopefully get the answers you want.
Step 2. Invite him to go
If he agrees to go with you, then this time you better get it right. You are lucky enough to get a second chance, and a third chance will be hard to come by. Make the most of your time together and make sure you treat him right. Here are the things to do:
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Bring out the romance. Give him flowers and take him to a romantic restaurant. Now, it's best if you don't overdo it and make him feel uncomfortable. Just add a little romance that wasn't there in past relationships.
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Praise him. Let her know that she looks beautiful when you pick her up, and compliment her throughout the date.
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Let him know how much you miss him. Use a moment or two during the date to tell him how happy you are to have him in your life.
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In the end, just be yourself. You can become a better listener, more caring person, or learn to understand his needs, but at the end of the day, you're still who you are, and you have to make sure he likes who you really are. Don't try so hard to show that you've changed so much that your old personality is completely gone.
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Step 3. This time keep in touch with the girl
If the date goes well, and there's a follow-up date, make sure the relationship doesn't end for the same reason if you really want to be with this girl. If she's the girl you want to keep, remind yourself that you have to keep making her feel special.
- Remind yourself of what happened in the past, and resolve not to do it again.
- Look at it as a new beginning. You don't have to change things in an old relationship, but try to build something completely new and much better.
- Relax. Enjoy your company instead of worrying about making another mistake.
Tips
- Make sure you are calm when you tell him. Talking sluggishly will make him feel like you're not confident, which isn't a good way to start.
- If you ask the girl to go out with her friends, she may think you're brave and agree. But be careful because this can go wrong, and he can feel embarrassed.
Warning
- Be careful what you say and do. If the girl sees you acting childish or disrespectful, she will know that she acted rightly in the past when she decided to break up with you. Show him that you are mature and polite. Maybe he'll think again.
- He may not like the date. There are girls who feel that when they dump you, it's over and nothing to do with it anymore. If the girl says she doesn't want to come back to you, accept it. Maybe he needs more time.
