How to Overcome Shyness When Close to Women

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How to Overcome Shyness When Close to Women
How to Overcome Shyness When Close to Women

You may find it impossible not to feel shy around women, especially if you find yourself in the presence of a beautiful girl and don't know what to say. However, once you realize that you don't have to say something perfect all the time and that you just need to show genuine interest in the girl you want to talk to, you have fun and smooth conversations with every girl you want to talk to.


Part 1 of 3: Setting the Right Mindset

Not to Be Shy Around Girls Step 1
Not to Be Shy Around Girls Step 1

Step 1. Remind yourself that many women also feel shy around men

One way to prepare yourself to talk to women is to remember that women are just as afraid of talking to men as you are about talking to them. They may look like they're in control and they don't seem timid or nervous, but deep down, many women also feel nervous when it comes to talking to men. If you are aware of the fact that every woman or man is also embarrassed to some extent when it comes to initiating conversations with other people, you will be less awkward when it comes to talking to women.

  • When you're worried about what to say next or wondering how to break free after your last comment, chances are that the woman you're talking to is thinking the same thing.
  • Instead of trying hard to sound smart, funny, or interesting, you should try to make the woman you talk to feel comfortable. He's likely to have the same anxiety as you, and if you focus on making him feel good, you won't be worrying about yourself.
Not to Be Shy Around Girls Step 2
Not to Be Shy Around Girls Step 2

Step 2. Just pretend you're talking to one of your friends

Of course, talking to a girl from the same school may not be the same as talking to a good friend. However, if you no longer worry that everything has to be perfect, you'll see that they're not really that different. You will never run out of ideas to talk about, can make him laugh, can talk about interesting things you did on the weekends, and so on. Once you're relaxed and no longer trying to sound awesome, you can start the conversation naturally, just as you would a good friend.

  • Well, you and your close friends may have a personal joke or a special way of speaking that could confuse the girl you just met. However, you can still talk about some of the same topics and take a similar approach, all the while trying to have an interesting conversation instead of worrying about running out of things to talk about.
  • Remember, even when talking to friends you can occasionally run out of things to talk about or repeat conversations or lose words. So, it doesn't matter if it happens while you're talking to a girl.
Not to Be Shy Around Girls Step 3
Not to Be Shy Around Girls Step 3

Step 3. Don't feel like you have to always say something perfect

Men who are shy when it comes to talking to women tend to put romance into the situation and think that, when they are talking to a beautiful girl, they have to say something absolutely perfect or amazing to win her over, and then the two of you can walk hand in hand to meet her. sunset together. In reality, it doesn't really matter if you just compliment the outfit she's wearing or tell her about a Tulus concert you watched. Instead of trying to reply with perfect sentences, try to say something to keep the conversation going.

If you get too hung up on every word that comes out of your mouth, you're more likely to be at a loss for words or stutter when you speak. Keep talking and don't worry too much about it. That way, you'll appear more impressive than if you were suddenly silent for 5 minutes and then told the perfect joke

Not to Be Shy Around Girls Step 4
Not to Be Shy Around Girls Step 4

Step 4. Prepare some topics of conversation in advance so that you are less nervous

If you want to reduce your shyness when talking to women, one thing you can do is prepare some ideas for conversation in advance just in case you run out of things to talk about. At that time you may be too busy admiring the beauty of the woman to think of what to talk about. So make a list in your head about three or four things you can say to him before you start opening your mouth. This preparation will give you more confidence when starting a conversation, even if the conversation goes so smoothly that you don't end up using the ideas.

  • You can talk about what you do on weekends, good movies you both watch, favorite bands, what he does on vacation, or activities you both participate in. You can also talk about friends you both know, your plans for the night, or the news you've heard in the media.
  • Remember, it takes two people to have a conversation. Even if you can't think of other topics, she can also contribute ideas. You're not doing a single joke.
Not to Be Shy Around Girls Step 5
Not to Be Shy Around Girls Step 5

Step 5. Remember, at the end of the day you have to be yourself

As cliché as it may sound, if you really want to get to know a woman, you don't have to try to impress her by pretending to be cute. Of course, you can be a little more polite and courteous and try a little harder to actually get his attention, but you don't need to get too far out of your comfort zone unless you plan to keep pretending.

While you can't immediately act as silly as when you're hanging out with your closest friends, you don't need to put on a fake personality by pretending to be someone she'll like. If he is standing in front of you and talking to you, it means he wants to see and know the real you

Not to Be Shy Around Girls Step 6
Not to Be Shy Around Girls Step 6

Step 6. Don't try too hard to impress her

If you try hard to impress the woman you're talking to, she'll see it. You may want to talk about your football skills or share all your plans to become a doctor, but that kind of talk can turn women away from you. While you can talk about the things you love, there's no need to brag. So even if you're good at juggles or back flips, these topics should be brought into the conversation naturally. However, you don't have to show the woman how talented you are right then and there.

  • If you are really skilled or talented in a certain area, the girl will notice it once you spend enough time with her. At first, you might be able to let him figure it out on his own, instead of telling him how great you are.
  • Women like men who display confidence, not arrogance. You need to show that you are happy with yourself without acting like you are the greatest man on earth.
Not to Be Shy Around Girls Step 7
Not to Be Shy Around Girls Step 7

Step 7. Work on reducing your nervousness

You may feel nervous right before you start talking to women and that's normal. There's a lot you can do to calm yourself down and feel better before you even open your mouth. A few simple tricks can make your next conversation with a woman feel more natural and less intimidating. Here are some things you can do:

  • Count to 30 silently before you approach the woman. This step can help you feel calmer.
  • Focus on your breathing. Inhale through your mouth and exhale through your nose 10 times, and you will feel more relaxed.
  • If you have a stress ball or keep something in a squeezable bag, you can use it to reduce tension. Plus, squeezing something will help keep you from fidgeting and make you less nervous.
  • Make eye contact with the woman. If you stare at the floor or look back and forth, this will only make you look and feel more nervous.

Part 2 of 3: Talking to Women

Not to Be Shy Around Girls Step 8
Not to Be Shy Around Girls Step 8

Step 1. Praise him

One simple way to talk to a woman if you're embarrassed to do so is to give her a compliment. Give simple, sincere compliments. You don't have to say that she is the most beautiful girl in school. Just say you love the color of the sweater, the new haircut looks cool, or the earrings are really unique. You can also compliment her smile or sense of humor, but make sure your compliment isn't too personal at first.

  • A simple compliment shows the woman you're talking to that you care about her.
  • There's no need to start with a compliment, but you can give one of those compliments if the conversation starts to falter.
Not to Be Shy Around Girls Step 9
Not to Be Shy Around Girls Step 9

Step 2. Ask him a question

Another way to reduce shyness around a woman is to get to know her. You don't need to interrogate him, but trying to ask him a few simple questions will give him the impression that you really care and want to get to know him better. You can ask him questions about himself while at the same time revealing a few things about yourself so he doesn't feel like he's giving too much information. Simple comments like, “I have two cats. Do you have pets?” can make him feel more comfortable. Here are some things you can ask him:

  • Hobbies and interests
  • Favorite band, TV show, movie or actor
  • His favorite food
  • Favorite place he often goes
  • Her friends
  • Brother/sister
  • The pet
  • Weekend plans
Not to Be Shy Around Girls Step 10
Not to Be Shy Around Girls Step 10

Step 3. Tell us a little about yourself

While asking questions and showing an interest in his life can reduce your shyness, another thing you can do is tell him a little about yourself in conversations with him. You'll be more relaxed because you feel more comfortable while the girl knows a little bit about you, and that will pave the way for her to tell you more about herself. You want him to know something about you after the conversation is over.

  • If you start to feel shy about talking about more personal topics, just make sure you stick to a topic that you are good at and that makes you feel most comfortable, whether it's sports or pet dogs, as long as the topic is interesting to him.
  • If the girl asks a question, try not to answer with just a "yes" or "no," but take the time to explain what you mean so that she gets the impression you want to talk to her. Even if you're feeling embarrassed, giving a little explanation of what you're trying to say will make the conversation flow better, and may lessen the embarrassment you're feeling.
Not to Be Shy Around Girls Step 11
Not to Be Shy Around Girls Step 11

Step 4. Learn to laugh at yourself

Another way to reduce shyness around women is to learn not to take yourself too seriously. If you can laugh at yourself or admit when you say something silly, or even laugh when you stutter when you're talking to a woman, you're actually making the conversation more enjoyable because she won't have to worry about offending you. People who are really comfortable with themselves usually don't mind admitting that they're not perfect, and if you want to feel more comfortable talking to women, know that laughing at yourself can be a great trick.

  • Even if you don't want to sound insecure or self-deprecating, there's nothing wrong with laughing at yourself when you find you're repeating the conversation or babbling incessantly. For example, if you notice that you're so nervous that you've been babbling about the Lakers for the last 10 minutes, it's okay to laugh and say, "Well, I think you know all about the Lakers now, don't you?"
  • If you stutter or misspoke, don't act like it didn't happen. Just say, "I'm starting again" and continue the conversation. Women will like you more because you feel comfortable enough to admit what happened.
Not to Be Shy Around Girls Step 12
Not to Be Shy Around Girls Step 12

Step 5. Show confident body language

Another way to reduce shyness around women is to try to show more confident body language. This attitude will help you not only feel more confident when talking to women. Just keep your head straight, don't slouch either sitting or standing, make eye contact, and keep your shoulders straight while your arms hang at your sides. If you cross your arms over your chest or turn your head away from him, this is a sign that you are not comfortable talking to him.

  • It's okay to look away every now and then when you're feeling embarrassed. Just make sure you don't stare at the floor all the time.
  • Turning towards him and smiling shows that you are approachable and enthusiastic about talking to him.
  • While you may feel shy when you talk to women, don't use your cell phone as a crutch. Keep your phone and give him the attention he deserves.
Not to Be Shy Around Girls Step 13
Not to Be Shy Around Girls Step 13

Step 6. End the conversation when it goes well

If you're really shy about talking to a woman and are overwhelmed with anxiety about having the perfect conversation, make sure you end it on a good note so you can look forward to talking to her again the next time. If you say a few things to each other and all goes well, instead of trying to keep the momentum going forever, you can end the conversation and say that you enjoyed talking to him. This will boost your confidence the next time you have to talk to the woman.

  • If you wait until you've run out of things to talk about and are forced to end the conversation simply because there's nothing else to talk about, this will actually lead to an awkward ending than saying goodbye after you've both laughed and had a good time.
  • Make sure you're not being rude or abrupt when you say goodbye and make sure you express that you're looking forward to having another conversation with him.
Not to Be Shy Around Girls Step 14
Not to Be Shy Around Girls Step 14

Step 7. Speak comfortably and pause when you feel awkward

If you feel nervous when talking to women, silence may be one of your nightmares. You may be terrified that you've only spoken for a minute or two, then a gripping silence engulfs you both as the girl stares at you, hoping anxiously that you'll say the most amazing comment of all time. Well, the truth is, even the best conversations have plenty of breaks, and it's okay if you do it when you're talking to women.

  • The best thing you can do is to take the silence lightly instead of trying so hard to say something too quickly. You don't have to say, "Well, this is awkward," because that will only make things worse. Just let everything flow naturally.
  • Remember, in case of silence, the girl you're talking to is also looking for something to say. You are not alone.

Part 3 of 3: Making the Extra Effort

Not to Be Shy Around Girls Step 15
Not to Be Shy Around Girls Step 15

Step 1. Build self-esteem

You have to feel good about yourself if you want to overcome the shyness of being around women. While you can't build self-esteem in a day, there are steps you can take to become comfortable, confident and confident in what he does and what he has to offer. Here are some steps you can take to build self-esteem:

  • Accept the things within you that cannot be changed.
  • Admit weaknesses that can still be fixed, and spend more time working on them.
  • Spend more time doing something you're really good at or developing a new skill, whether it's writing, running, or photography.
  • Hang out with people who make you feel better, not worse, about yourself.
  • Pay attention to your appearance. While you don't have to look like a model, taking regular showers and wearing clean, well-fitting clothes can improve your self-image.
Not to Be Shy Around Girls Step 16
Not to Be Shy Around Girls Step 16

Step 2. Practice talking to new people

Another way worth trying to deal with shyness around women is to talk to more new people every day. You can talk to the new guy at school, the girl who works at the grocery store, or even a guest who visits a neighbor's house. As long as you're not intrusive, talking to new people can help you gain confidence and reveal more about yourself, as well as get rid of the shyness that makes it difficult for you to start conversations with women.

  • Talking to new people will help you read a person's character individually and improve your skills for finding topics that interest everyone. It can also help you learn different conversational rhythms and accept the fact that starting a conversation can be a little awkward at first.
  • Talking to new people and feeling comfortable opening up can also boost your confidence. You'll feel better about yourself when you know that you can attract new people in addition to the few people you're used to in your social circle.
Not to Be Shy Around Girls Step 17
Not to Be Shy Around Girls Step 17

Step 3. Don't limit yourself

If you want to get rid of the shyness of being around women, one thing you can do is try to be a more social and busy person. Join a sports team, debate team, community service club, or other activity that allows you to meet people of different ages and backgrounds and can make you feel comfortable being yourself in a variety of situations. By living a more social lifestyle, you can learn to be less shy when it comes to talking to women.

  • If you are used to an active social life in various situations, you will slowly learn to talk to women, even the most beautiful women, just as you can talk to anyone. The conversation will flow without you bothering.
  • The more you know, the more honed your social skills will be. If you're only talking to the same three friends, well, of course it's going to be harder for you to reduce your shyness around girls.
Not to Be Shy Around Girls Step 18
Not to Be Shy Around Girls Step 18

Step 4. Don't put too much pressure on the new relationship

One of the reasons many men feel shy when talking to women is because they tend to idealize them, and think that every woman they have a crush on or talk to is their “mate,” or a woman who is so perfect and beautiful that they should be with her forever. If you want to reduce your shyness and have a more natural conversation, you have to let go of the pressure and treat every conversation with a woman as a conversation that works for you, not everything for your relationship.

  • If you spend too much time thinking about your next conversation with the girl or wondering where the conversation is going, you're likely missing the present moment.
  • Treat the girl you talk to like a human, not a goddess. This will make you more comfortable with your own imperfections.
Not to Be Shy Around Girls Step 19
Not to Be Shy Around Girls Step 19

Step 5. Learn to be a good listener

Another way to reduce shyness around women is to stop worrying about what they think of you and take the time to listen carefully to what they have to say. This step will give you a clearer picture of themselves and give them more ideas to chat with them. If you make eye contact, keep the phone, and let the girl talk without being interrupted or interrupted by your own comments. That way, he'll be impressed by how much you care and the conversation will flow more smoothly.

  • If you really pay attention to what he has to say, you can follow up later when you get a chance to talk to him again. If you remember him having a piano recital that weekend or having a cousin visit, he'll be really impressed.
  • Many people tend to wait their turn to speak rather than actually listen. Stop worrying about what you're going to say and just listen to the girl talk.
Not to Be Shy Around Girls Step 20
Not to Be Shy Around Girls Step 20

Step 6. Be aware of when you are talking too much

It's perfectly normal for you to start babbling about the most ridiculous topics when you're around women. If you do, you should notice it and try to turn your attention back to the girl and ask her questions or get her to talk more. You may even laugh a little at yourself for talking too much before continuing the conversation.

When you talk to a woman, try to have the same amount of talk between you and her. Maybe one of you will talk a little more, but don't completely dominate the conversation or make him feel like he has to talk all the time


  • Defend yourself if someone is bullying. Make sure he knows what's really going on.
  • Remember to be yourself.

  • Speak loudly and clearly.
  • Do yourself a favor and stand tall!
  • Never change yourself. Someone will like/accept your flaws.
  • Speak! It will take your mind off the shame!
  • Start a conversation about a new school play, or an assignment you're having trouble with.
  • Men who have extensive knowledge are very sexy.
  • Show off your intelligence in class.
  • Register as a student council member, or participate in a school play.


  • Do not ever lie. Women hate liars.
  • You can lose friends by changing yourself.
  • Even if you don't want to sound arrogant, it's best not to admit that you can't. It doesn't feel cool for a guy to announce that he can't do something.
  • Don't be possessive. Women are not property.
  • Bullying other people will not make you more confident.
  • Don't talk about stressful topics like losing an arm or having surgery.
  • Once you get over your shyness, don't play with women's emotions. That's not a cool act.
  • Show your "talent".
  • If you work in the same group, and a woman wants to be the leader, give her a chance to be the boss. His ideas may be better than yours.
  • Don't make people who are more popular than you angry.

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