If you want to maintain a loving relationship, it's important that you show your loved one how you feel in ways that he or she will understand and appreciate. Express your love when things are going well, and express your love when you have disagreements. With a little effort, you will be able to express your love easily and keep your relationship going strong.
Step
Part 1 of 2: Showing Love to Your Spouse
Step 1. Understand your partner's needs
Maybe you express love with gifts while your partner receives love with touch. Realizing that the way you give love may not be the way your partner receives love can open your eyes. But knowing the ways your partner feels loved can help you express your love in a way that he or she can appreciate. Try different methods, and see what produces the most positive response. Several studies have looked at five “love languages,” or ways to bond with your partner, express love, and receive love:
- Words of affirmation: compliment, express positive feelings, say “I love you”.
- Time together: give your partner full attention.
- Gifts: physical symbols of love such as flowers, jewelry, tools.
- Helpful actions: walking the dog, cleaning the kitchen.
- Physical touch: having sex, holding hands, giving affection.
Step 2. Express your feelings
Tell your partner that you love him or her. Tell him when he looks attractive. Your partner can't read minds, so express yourself in words when you feel admiration for your partner. Express the qualities you see in your partner and remember, they can never feel old fashioned!
- You may feel more comfortable writing down your feelings than saying them out loud, so write a card or letter to your partner.
- Leave a note to your partner to show that you think about him and love him.
Step 3. Show affection
Affection will communicate love in a way that words cannot. When you are with your partner, be affectionate and express your love with touch. Touch her hair, take her hand, and wrap your arm around her. Physical touch can create intimacy and show your partner that you want to be physically close to them.
Realize that some people prefer affection over others. Talk to your partner about what he values, how he likes being touched, and whether touching is appropriate in public
Step 4. Spend some time alone together
Life can be busy with work, kids, pets, in-laws, friends, etc. Make sure you set aside some time to spend with your partner. Find a nanny for the kids, and make time for an evening to spend together. Focus on your partner and talk about things that are meaningful to both of you; avoid talking about chores, kids, or money. Schedule a date night and enjoy doing something together.
You don't always have to make date night romantic; have fun. Do something silly or choose an activity you can laugh about and enjoy together
Step 5. Express gratitude
Show your partner that you care by recognizing their actions that you value. Express gratitude for things your partner does (like picking up the kids, buying dog food) and expressing gratitude for qualities you admire in your partner (like loving, affectionate, and generous).
- Show your gratitude through words or notes.
- You can give a gift that expresses gratitude, such as flowers or a fancy meal or something special you've chosen.
Step 6. Be a kind person
Kindness is the best tool for predicting long-term stability and satisfaction in a relationship. Being kind will show your partner that you are dedicated to showing love in the relationship. People who see kindness as a force that must be continually cultivated tend to experience more positive interactions than people who view kindness as a constant.
- If your partner expresses a need and you feel tired, distracted, or overwhelmed, don't ignore him or her. Turn to him and communicate.
- Kindness is also important when fighting. Treat your partner with kindness, and recognize when you weren't so nice to your partner and correct the mistake.
Step 7. Share the happiness
Celebrate the good news from your partner. You should be there for your partner when the going gets tough, but especially when your partner gets some positive news. Couples who celebrate the good news together have better long-term stability. Show that you support him and share his happiness. Give him your full attention when he shares the news.
Get fully involved with your partner. Ask questions and show your enthusiasm
Part 2 of 2: Expressing Love When Different Opinions
Step 1. Provide five times more positive interactions than negative interactions
Research shows that in every negative interaction, five positive interactions must be made to correct the error and restore the relationship. If negative interactions are not balanced, these interactions can build up and cause the couple to drift apart.
- Show that you listen and understand your partner.
- Approach it with love.
- Use commonalities as links, like humor.
Step 2. Communicate understanding and empathy rather than conflict
Even if you and your partner disagree, show that you are listening. Show empathy for your partner's point of view by acknowledging what he or she is saying and the feelings he or she is communicating. Remind yourself (and your partner) that you admire them despite the conflict.
Step 3. Express forgiveness
Admitting that you haven't always been kind or understanding in your relationship isn't a problem. Realize when you have let your partner down or made a mistake. Express the blame to your partner, and apologize. Immediately also to forgive your partner when he made a mistake. Forgiveness allows partners to acknowledge weaknesses and approach the relationship through self-development. Don't dwell on things that are painful; carry on.
Step 4. Express love regularly
For important relationships, especially with your spouse or other family members, make sure you show your love often, continuing to express your love for them in a variety of ways, especially the ones they understand best. The phrase "what matters is the intention" is widely believed, but intention only matters when the gift of love is actually given. Concealed love benefits no one.
Tips
Pay close attention to what one person does for another: This is a strong indication of his primary way of feeling love
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