There are a lot of guys who are good at asking girls out but they're not very good at explaining how they do it. This guide is expected to help men, even the unlucky ones, to understand some of the early principles of dating and develop himself to hear the word 'Yes' when asking a girl out together for the first time.
Step
Method 1 of 5: Most Basic
Step 1. Expand your view
Don't just think about finding girls only when you're going to a party or a bar. You never know when or where you'll meet a woman who wants to be with you if you strategize right. The saying “There are still many fish in the sea” reflects this fact. If you want to find women to travel with, keep your eyes open wherever you go: at work, in a cafe, on the street, or wherever you are when you're outside. There are some important things that you should keep in mind:
- Inviting women in supermarkets is a difficult buying process. Most people don't go to supermarkets or banks because they hope to find their love story, so many believe that bars, clubs, and parties are places where they can find their love story. Don't expect a positive response if you're trying to find a woman where she's meant to be because of her responsibilities.
- However, try the bazaars, cafes, and other places that people usually go for recreation. Women in places like this are at least more receptive to meeting new people, because they're not on important business.
- If you don't expect to be Don Juan (note: you won't succeed if this is your plan), see if he wears a diamond ring on one of his ring fingers (or both)? If so, maybe he is married (left hand) or engaged (right hand). Appreciate him and leave him.
Step 2. Understand the dynamics between men and women, this varies from country to country, but there are clear paradigms in the western world (i.e. Europe, Australia and North America) that define what men and women find attractive opposite sex
This is quite complicated, but the basic working principle is as follows: Women are attracted to social power and authority; men are attracted to fertility and health (this is why western culture is so fond of making women look young).
- There are many things a man can do to show his social power and be more attractive. Try to look more attractive or improve your sense of humor. Physical wealth is a powerful thing that can show your social strength, some men even try to use a good car even though they live in poverty. Think about how you stand out by emphasizing your own strengths.
- The most basic and most useful way to show that you have social power is self-confidence. By the way you speak and behave confidently, you can show that you are not afraid of other men, which will make you appear strong. This is why many say that confidence is everything in the world of love. Be confident, and the rest you can master; fail to show confidence, and you will always have a hard time dating.
Step 3. Be yourself, but the best you are
Avoid being someone else. Girls are very sensitive and ignore you if you don't value them by pretending to be someone else. Besides, girls aren't looking for something messy to fix either. One of the benefits of a long-term relationship is that you're free to share your troubles and fears with the person you love, but right now, you're not in a long-term relationship-you're doing the laundry next to someone who has a cute smile and wears a cute t-shirt. Don't belittle your perspective on yourself. The process of asking is an opportunity for you to show off all your strengths instead of revealing everything about you to the cute girl.
Step 4. Fine-tune your body language
Body language isn't just about standing with your back straight and making eye contact: it's a package, everything you do to communicate isn't just the words that come out of my mouth. Body language is the primary way for humans to communicate their feelings to other people, learn all the "languages" that are important if you want to become a dating expert. These regulations are:
- Moderate eye contact is better than slight eye contact.
- Smile when you make eye contact. Don't look away until you've smiled.
- Don't stare. Refrain from looking at his body when you talk to him.
- Show an open attitude: arms and legs not crossed, shoulders firm, head held high. This makes you appear confident, relaxed, and open.
- Don't mumble. Speak clearly and without hesitation.
- Lean slightly toward the person you find attractive when talking to them. Keep your head up every now and then if you're sitting down.
Step 5. Never forget:
Body language works, but it's not always obvious. For example, people often touch their body parts that they find attractive when they are attracted to someone. A woman who keeps touching her lips or chest with one hand when she is talking to you may mean she is attracted to you; or maybe; he's just itching. Take the sign carefully.
Step 6. Learn this mantra: Do it or die
If a girl is interested in you, you don't want her to tell you in three years, do you? Women think the same. This is why trying to win over a girl with a riddle will never work: women want a man who will come and say exactly what he wants to say. If the guy is really serious about her, he should be willing to take the risk of being rejected.
- Even if a girl is attracted to you, she won't wait for you to ask her out. They'll think you're not interested in them and give up, or you're unattractive because you don't dare ask them out.
- When you feel attracted to a woman, if you don't take her out on the same day you feel like dating her, let's say you have 1 month to ask her out. Don't wait for the perfect time.
Method 2 of 5: Dating Girls
Step 1. Prepare in advance what you will say to the woman you want
It doesn't have to be anything exciting – just a call to chat. Try chatting about the weather if you're outside, or decorations if you're indoors. At the party, bring up something about the party. Start when you have it set up.
Step 2. Build a conversation
If you get a cold response, you have two choices: give up or just tease him and hope for the best. If on the other hand, the girl responded warmly, it was time for a casual chat.
- Chatting with people you just met is definitely a challenge for both of you. If you make the chat easier, he will really appreciate it. Say some opinions on something unimportant, like the music being played. Stay honest, and see how he responds. By placing yourself in this position, you will make it more comfortable for him to agree or disagree with your opinion.
- Try not to interview him, asking things like: “What do you work for?” "Where do you live?" "Where do you go to school?" successively. But turn the question into a statement (like "You look like you're from Rome" or "I bet you're a teacher"). You're more visible and give him a chance to respond naturally, so he'll feel more comfortable and relaxed.
Step 3. Use jokes
Jokes are common and finding people who will appreciate your jokes is fun. However, people who don't respond to your jokes may not be interested in you or even worth pursuing. This will show his interest in you without being too direct about it.
Even if you think your jokes are too quick and weird for most people to appreciate or understand, do it anyway. If she's interested, she'll laugh at your jokes even if other people don't find them funny
Step 4. Keep praising him
Whatever the compliment, say it naturally. The key to a fun chat is to talk about things you both feel comfortable discussing. When you have a chance to compliment him, do it or tease him with things that won't break your conversation.
Possible responses are that the woman agrees with your compliment (she's quite confident), disagrees (because she's too shy), or compliments you too, as in most cases, especially at the beginning of the conversation. What's most important is that you need to show that you're a fun partner rather than outright saying you're interested in him, even if it's something that's already obvious because you took him out for a walk and started a game with him
Step 5. Be honest
Women like men who are brave and comfortable with themselves. Never be shy when answering questions about yourself. Most women prefer a man who builds a robot in his basement and dares to say it with a smile than a man who is shy.
Don't be afraid to criticize gently (make it in the form of a question, eg “doesn't that look stupid?” is a good way to do it). Girls appreciate it when a guy looks interested but doesn't try to make himself attractive because it seems like he likes it too soon and becomes uncomfortable about it. On the other hand, if you continue to make rude jokes, it may feel rude and childish
Step 6. Ask for the mobile number
When it's time to finish the conversation, cut the conversation in a slightly high pitch and ask for the number. Let's say you really enjoyed chatting with him, but it's about time you got home/work/whatever you have planned. If he doesn't give you his cell phone number, thank him and wish him a nice day. If you get one, give him a call within 1 day or 2 days and plan when you will see each other again.
Step 7. Set up your first date
The best thing about a first date is something that doesn't let the two of you stand still. Avoid concerts and movies. But try something you can chat with, and certainly don't cost a lot of money. Try ideas and alternatives; most women prefer men who decide what to do for a date.
- If you have an unusual idea but you think he'll appreciate it, like going on a rowboat, give it a try; or just having lunch, coffee, or drinking somewhere. All of these options will make your chat uninterrupted and (if you're lucky) you might even get your first kiss.
- Treat him to a first date, but don't be too pushy. Some women think that the guy who treats her on every date is mocking her, and would rather pay for each one. Whatever he wants, just go with it.
- Give him some space. This is a first date, not a marriage contract. Once you've determined a time and place, don't call him again until it's time to meet. You will have plenty of time to chat on the date.
- If he calls and asks to change appointments, trust him – however, if he wants to turn you down, he's done it before. Be patient and be more flexible.
Method 3 of 5: Dating Your Friends
Step 1. Understand the risks
This is the most difficult situation, but remember that he is unlikely to want to stop being friends with you because you asked him out, even if he doesn't want to go out with you. Bigger problems will come from you, because you will be too disappointed to have been rejected by him.
Step 2. Wait until you have some private time
Maybe this will save you from being embarrassed in front of your other friends. If your friend respects you as much as you respect him, he won't embarrass you. If he caused that incident, then he doesn't deserve you.
Step 3. Take her for a walk
Don't profess your love – just take her out for a walk. You may really love him, but saying it won't change anything either because he doesn't have a concrete reason to date you. Better save your feelings first.
Make sure that you're clear about asking her out, and not just a casual walk. Hiding your intentions won't help at all
Step 4. Refrain
No matter what the outcome of your offer to ask your friend out, your duty is to be mature and grateful. If he says yes, that's fine - but there's no time to dig deep into him. You've never even been on a first date. If he says no, don't show disappointment in front of him. Instead immediately say goodbye (he will understand) and go home.
Method 4 of 5: Dating Your Workmate
Step 1. Understand the risks
Unlike in the classroom, your chances of getting close to him, whether or not he wants to date you, are greater at work. You can't ask another partner when the semester is over, and neither can he. As long as you understand the risk to both your comfort if your plans don't go well, you can take steps to minimize that risk and be confident that your work life will go on as usual, no matter what.
Step 2. Do not defecate while you are eating
This old adage (in various variations) is considered timeless for good. The closer you are to someone outside of your dating life, the more likely it is that dating or chasing someone will lead to drama and misery. At work, this means it's better for you not to date women who you are very close to and work with often, if you can control them.
If you work in a large business such as a department store or business office, try to focus on the women who work elsewhere. So no matter what, the two of you won't have a rigid work situation
Step 3. Appreciate
Of course, respect is an important trait in a dating strategy, but at work, you need to be aware of it. Think of it from the woman's perspective: she's there because she needs a job, not because there are lots of interesting men in the office. Something that made him even more depressed was that his life felt shaky, because he didn't feel comfortable with his co-workers. Never put a woman in a scary position until you've managed to ask her out.
Be firm, be polite, and if you get rejected, don't make the problem big or bother it again. Even if you think he's friendly enough, then he won't appreciate you and will continue to do so after he says no. Give him some comfort
Step 4. Be wise
There are many employees who do not agree with the idea of having a romance between co-workers because of the frequent loss of productivity and various violations (ranging from extended breaks to fights and others). If you're going to chase women at your workplace, don't make it too loud.
As long as your work goes on as usual, your boss won't mind in the slightest if you date a woman at your workplace, or even get to the point of courting. Remember: the workplace is meant to work; anything else is secondary, no matter how important or interesting it may be to you
Method 5 of 5: Dating Girls on the Street
Step 1. Understand the dynamics of romance on the go
Maybe you're out of town with your family and you're feeling a little bored so you go to a cafe and accidentally meet an interesting girl. Or maybe you are on a bus trip and are resting in the rest area. Dating women on the go is fine, as long as you remember to take this relationship lightly, be frank, and wake up in a moment. Approaching him in a normal way will only make you both depressed.
Step 2. Be honest
If you think you have to lie to date a girl, you're wrong. This will not go smoothly if there is pretense. In addition, some women getting to know people who are “just passing by” seem pleasant, because there is no bond. You won't know until you make it clear that you are in that situation.
Traveling is also a fun topic, so you don't have to try hard to find something to chat about. Say you're visiting for a few days, and ask about the area. Most women are very happy if given the opportunity to talk about themselves, and that way the conversation will continue
Step 3. Hurry up
You don't have much time to be shy. You want to go on a date with someone you just met and are unlikely to see again. She won't know that if you just try to "warm up" with her every time. Instead of just asking for his cell phone number, ask him out "right now," before you leave. Ask him where he wants to go, and offer to treat him (as usual). The key to asking a girl out for the short term is to show her what you want (to have fun) and do it.
Step 4. Be faithful
If you have someone waiting for you at home, don't chase other people on the move. Too cowardly and unfair, and will weigh heavily on your conscience afterwards. Imagine how you will feel when you find out your boyfriend is enjoying his weekend with someone he just met while out on the town, while you sit alone and miss him. This will destroy the relationship you already have.
If you are sure to end your relationship, do it right and end first. Don't sneak behind your boyfriend like a sneaky person. When you're completely alone, you'll have plenty of opportunities to flirt with other women.
Tips
- Practice will produce perfection. Erase your fear of talking to women by treating the women you meet every day like your friends. Chat as if they are your boyfriend until you get used to thinking of women as human beings, just like you.
- Compliment him and ask for his cell phone number. Women like men who are honest and brave.
- Treat him equally. If you constantly want to please him, then you will feel insecure. If you treat him as if he is above you, then he will step on you. And of course, if you treat him badly, he won't look at you in the slightest.
- If you're dating, try to find out on his social networks what he likes. This is a great way to start an interesting conversation on your date.
- Stay relaxed. Remember, you guys just finished a day together. It's okay if you're nervous, but try to control it and don't let your nervousness scare you.
- Like a show, you should do something small and wait for the audience's reaction rather than continue acting until no one will applaud for you. In other words, show your best and wait a moment. Nobody likes someone who can't see the clues that are given. If you make him happy, then he will show it to you when the time comes.
- Some women are admired by many men. Being persistent, positive and polite will make you stand out from your competition.
Warning
- Avoid looking like you really need it and feeling insecure. This will not help. Women aren't looking for injured animals to heal – they're looking for fun, stable men to have fun with. Remember that wanting something from someone else will not guarantee that that person will give it to you. Give him a reasonable reason.
- The emergence of "pickup artists" in recent years has led to attitudes towards dating women who focus on having short-term relationships. This kind of attitude is considered rude and playing with opportunities. Avoid this method, as it shows disrespect for the woman, and also does not maintain a meaningful relationship.
- Keep your gaze. DO NOT glare at any part of a woman's body, especially when she is talking to you. Remember to look at him when he talks and stare at his face are two different things. Glaring at him is something to be avoided.
