People who feel inferior usually don't like to look in the mirror because they don't like the person they look in the mirror. We don't like to see the reflection in the mirror if we don't like ourselves. If you experience this, stop the resistance by dealing with low self-esteem, for example by changing your mindset and behavior.
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Part 1 of 2: Changing Your Mindset
Step 1. Determine the cause
Ask yourself why you don't like looking at your own reflection in the mirror. Are you disappointed in yourself for having done something that went against your values? Is it because you are not satisfied with your appearance? In order to solve this problem, you have to honestly tell yourself what's causing it.
Step 2. Assess your actions, not yourself
Distinguish between your actions and yourself. Feeling guilty or disappointed because of what you have done shows that you are a good person who is willing to admit mistakes. Overcome useless guilt by accepting that you are guilty, learning from your mistakes, and improving yourself.
Guilt and shame will come together. Shame can arise from being disappointed in yourself, feeling worthless, and feeling guilty. To get rid of shyness, avoid people who can't see the positive aspects you have and build relationships with people who recognize you as a person who deserves respect
Step 3. Challenge your negative thoughts
Negative thinking habits tend to make you feel inferior. Therefore, get rid of the perspective and mindset that focuses on negative things, lowers yourself, and ignores the successes that you have achieved.
Step 4. Work on loving yourself more
Learning to love and accept yourself makes you happy to look at yourself in the mirror. Do the following ways so that you are able to love yourself for who you are:
- Write down your strengths. Think about the positive things you have, for example: you are a fun person, empathetic, or a great tennis player. If you don't know what your strengths are, ask the people around you what they think your strengths are.
- Have positive inner conversations. Imagine you are chatting with your best or most ideal self. Think about what advice he would give you. Perhaps you will realize that one aspect of you is capable of saying intelligent, kind, and wise things to you.
Step 5. Forgive yourself
If you don't like looking in the mirror because you've done something inappropriate, remind yourself that everyone can make mistakes. Try to prevent the same mistakes from happening again and think of ways to improve what you did, instead of blaming yourself.
Step 6. Don't compare yourself to others
Focus on noticing and improving yourself in useful ways, instead of just comparing yourself to others, for example: You think: “She's prettier than I am. Why can't I be like him? Low self-esteem has a strong correlation with shyness, depression, and social anxiety.
Follow these steps to break the habit of comparing yourself to others. Let's say, you compare yourself with a friend who is good at cooking so that you feel jealous and disappointed in yourself. Change that thought by focusing on the best that you have. After that, instead of comparing with others, compare your current abilities with 2 years ago. Focus on how much progress and improvement you've made, instead of comparing it to others
Step 7. Remember that when we compare ourselves to others, we usually idolize that person in an unrealistic way
On the other hand, when we compare others to ourselves, we don't see a realistic version of ourselves. We use a version that is already negatively biased by not giving ourselves the credit it deserves and allowing the inner chatter to continue to criticize. You can prevent this behavior by changing your mindset and praising yourself for the things you do well.
To get rid of comparing thoughts, you must first admit that you have them. For example, when you notice the thought, "I should have made a career as good as Amelia." say to yourself, “I'm sure Amelia has worked very hard to achieve such a great career now. I also have to fight to get to where I want to be.” After that, make a written plan of what you must do to achieve that goal
Step 8. Remind yourself that everyone is good and that life is a gift
You yourself are a uniquely good person. The combination of your genes and the environment you were raised in work together to form you into an individual with a unique perspective and personality. Cultivate this understanding and use it to empower yourself. Use all the abilities you have, learn to accept reality, and respect yourself.
Part 2 of 2: Changing Behavior
Step 1. Love the other person
Focus your attention on others, not yourself. Direct your mind to focus on loving and helping others. This will help boost your self-esteem and make you feel more capable of accepting yourself. Loving is reciprocal and makes you feel happier and more comfortable with yourself. There are various ways to be considerate of others, for example by:
- Buy movie tickets for the person in line behind you.
- Volunteer in charity work.
- Buy blankets or food for the homeless.
- Give time to the person who makes you feel happy by writing a letter to thank them for being in your life.
Step 2. Make changes
Maybe you don't like looking in the mirror because you're not happy with how you look. In reality, physical appearance is fixed, so you need to learn to accept yourself as you are. However, there are several ways you can change your appearance in certain cases:
- If you don't like how you look because you're overweight, try to reduce the fat in your body. Start reducing food portions, for example 10-15% and get into the habit of exercising regularly.
- Alternatively, you can change your appearance, for example by wearing new clothes, changing your hairstyle, or applying makeup to make it look more attractive. Take a peek in the mirror and listen to the inner chatter that comes out of your mind!
Step 3. Ask others for help
If negative thoughts arise about what you do or what you think about yourself, share how you feel with someone. Let him understand your feelings because this can help with recovery.
- Have someone chat about what's on your mind. Use this opportunity to channel the burden of feelings and provide relief.
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Talk to a therapist or mental health professional to work out any problems you're having.
- Look for therapist information on the internet.
- You can also look for therapist information at mental health clinics.
Step 4. Maintain posture
If you think you're not tall enough that you don't like looking in the mirror, keep your posture straight. Research shows that the habit of standing and sitting up straight makes you feel more empowered and more confident.
To maintain an upright posture, lift your chin slightly, allow your arms to relax at your sides or on your hips, spread your feet shoulder-width apart while straightening your knees, and/or puff out your chest
Step 5. Start small
Tell yourself that you want to look in the mirror for 2 seconds and then stand in front of the mirror. Look into your eyes in the mirror and count to 2. Once you are able to do this, increase to 3 seconds, 4 seconds, and 5 seconds. This method is called exposure therapy and can be used as an effective technique for treating anxiety disorders.
