Self-hatred is a serious problem experienced by many people. It's hard to get rid of this problem yourself, but you can learn how to make a real effort to change the way you see yourself, love yourself and your body, and keep a positive view of yourself. You have to take charge and take control of your own life again.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Changing Your Perspective
Step 1. Forget perfection
Self-hatred is the result of a distorted and negative view of oneself based on delusions, denials, and false beliefs. In order to return to real life, you must learn to be true to yourself and take control of your life. No one is perfect. Continuing to hold on to the standard of perfection will only keep you locked in a trap of self-hatred. If you want to stop hating yourself, leave this way of thinking immediately.
Stop comparing yourself to people who appear on television or commercials. Life doesn't last like a 30-minute movie scene, nor does it look like an image rendered through a repaint using the "Photoshop" program. Want a shortcut? Turn off the television for a moment and avoid social media networks, so you can interact more directly with other people
Step 2. Find the trigger for hatred within you
This hatred is formed in certain situations, some grow because of trauma in childhood or early adulthood. But it's not just this memory that triggers it. Certain people, situations, or behaviors can simply drag you into negative thinking, even making it worse. Learn how to identify what thoughts or situations trigger these responses so you can deal with them when they arise.
The next time you notice self-hatred, break this pattern by saying, "I don't want to get carried away." Stop what you are doing and control yourself, then observe what is going on around you. What are you responding to? Write down whatever is on your mind
Step 3. Use a positive way of dealing with things
What do you usually do when you start to hate yourself? Just lying in bed watching television instead of trying to break free? Drink a lot? Overeating? Many self-loathing people have the same habits that make things worse when this condition occurs from time to time. Whatever method you use, try to identify it and replace it with a more positive way.
If you're struggling with a certain food or drink addiction, create an environment that makes it impossible for you to do it again. Remove ice cream and pastries from the kitchen and replace them with a variety of fruits and vegetables. If you're feeling very lonely and isolated, try hanging out more
Step 4. Get in the habit of saying affirmations every day
Talking to yourself in the mirror sounds weird. It may seem strange at first, but if done consistently over a period of time, this method has proven to be helpful for many people who suffer from self-hatred attacks. Find positive words to say to yourself in the mirror if you recognize the trigger, so that you can regain control. It doesn't need to be too complicated. Try using the following example:
- I'm good enough.
- I'm in control of my life.
- I can do it.
- I'm beautiful, smart and kind.
Step 5. Make a list of your life values and beliefs
What are some of the life values, ideas, and views that really matter to you? Often, these are abstract concepts, such as loyalty, sacrifice, concern for others, kindness, or equality. Maybe you also value other things like creativity, power, or education. What are the values of life that a good person believes in living his life? Make a list and revisit the list from time to time to update it.
You are advised to think about what your own values are and then write them down. If you want to form a group/community, what values and rules must its members follow if you are authorized to determine it?
Step 6. Make decisions based on these values
Oftentimes, self-hatred arises when our actions are inconsistent with our own values. Whenever you have to make a choice, even if it's just about how to spend your free time, make sure that your decision is in line with your values in life. Ask, "Will this decision make me feel better or worse about myself?"
If one of the values of life on your list is creativity, how do you spend your free time? You can choose to watch movies online on Netflix or start writing the novel you've always wanted to write. Make sure your actions are in line with your beliefs and life values
Part 2 of 3: Loving Your Body
Step 1. Use your body in a way that makes you feel proud
Just as we must make decisions to act in a way that is consistent with our values, our bodies must be used in ways that make us feel proud as residents. Just think, what can your body do for you? How do you use your body in a positive way to develop a positive mindset and love for yourself?
- Determine what it means to "treat yourself right." The meaning of the word "right" may vary from person to person, but you can use the same meaning to make a decision. What behavior would make you feel proud of your body?
- There are certain things that feel good/comfortable at the moment, but may contribute to self-hatred later on. The habit of drinking alcohol will be followed by a severe drunken condition. In general, you should avoid self-destructive behaviors, such as casual sex and substance abuse, in order to stay proud of your body.
Step 2. Use your body for physical activity
Do various activities so that your body is useful to you. Try climbing a mountain to its peak so you can look down at the valley and say, "I did it with my body!" Go dancing and do some fun exercises. Take time to practice some yoga, or learn a new style of dancing, and you will make your body work for you. The exercise alone will have the added benefit of using your body in a positive way.
- We are all easily obsessed with numbers. How many kg did you gain or lose, how many steps did you walk yesterday according to the pedometer, how many calories did you consume, etc. If you're struggling for things related to your body and self-esteem, keep your focus on what's most important, which is your health and happiness, not numbers.
- Weight loss may be your goal, but the end goal should be to build a physical appearance with a positive image. Burning calories should be good for you by doing activities you enjoy, not torturing yourself. Determine the physical appearance that you like the most so that you are better able to love yourself and shape your appearance with a positive image.
Step 3. Wear clothes that make you feel confident
There is no need to dress in a special way other than the one that makes you feel most comfortable and confident because of your body. The notion of the terms "cool" and "sexy" is highly subjective and depends on each culture. If you want to shape your physical appearance with a positive image, you have to choose the way you dress that makes you feel most confident.
- In general, it's best not to believe too much in what fashion magazines say about how to dress. "Feeling confident" is not the same as "looking trendy," especially if what's trending right now is super-tight, high-waisted pants. Try to find a balance between comfort and style that you like.
- To say that clothes are not important is also inappropriate. Dressing is not as important as working on other things, but paying attention to your appearance can increase your self-confidence, and fashion is one of the easiest ways to do this. Feel more confident with a leather jacket? Why not just give it a try?
Step 4. Stop comparing yourself to others
The quickest way to develop a physically incorrect self-image and cultivate self-hatred is to constantly compare yourself to others, especially to celebrities and fashion icons. You don't have to be responsible for finding a particular way for someone but for yourself.
Part 3 of 3: Maintaining a Positive Attitude
Step 1. Get in the habit of hanging out with positive people
Even though it may seem like you're the cause of this hatred yourself, it may actually be your fear of being rejected by others or placing too much importance on other people's opinions that are actually making it difficult for you to feel worthy of yourself. Wondering what's the easiest way to break free? Stop hanging out with people who don't really support you. Those who like to criticize, complain, and hate need not have a place in your life.
- Try observing your close friends. Are they having the same problem? Did they raise these concerns and concerns with you? If so, it's probably best not to be friends with them anymore. Find a friend you can rely on so that no one will drag you into trouble and keep going round and round in it.
- If you are close friends with someone who criticizes, manipulates, or makes you even more worried about yourself, this is very detrimental to you. Choose a better way. Just end this friendship and find someone who loves you for who you are.
Step 2. Take control of your own life
Psychologists often describe what is called a "locus of control," which is either inside (internal locus of control) or outside (external locus of control). People with an internal locus of control see themselves as determining whether they will succeed or not. While people with an external locus of control see this outside of themselves.
You can't change how other people perceive you, and it's a waste of time. Instead, focus your efforts on moving your locus of control within yourself. You don't have to be responsible for other people, you just have to be responsible for yourself
Step 3. Do activities outside the home and be a useful person to others
If you're trying to overcome self-hatred, try thinking about other people for a while and reminding yourself how lucky you are. Volunteering can be a good way to build a sense of worth while giving charity. It's not hard to feel valued and appreciated after contributing in a positive way to your community.
If your job is boring, make a change. Doing the same thing every day is no longer fun for you? Look for activities that your community can directly benefit from. Take risks to make changes in your life and make a commitment to your own happiness. You are in control of your own life
Step 4. Find ways to express your creativity
Instead of sitting still, start working on your creative skills and make something happen. Find a new hobby or do hobbies and pleasures that you haven't done before. Want to write a novel? Start painting? Play a musical instrument? Do creative activities and give yourself a certain pride at all times.
Tips
- Stop worrying about what other people think of you.
- Be proud of yourself.
- Love yourself as you love others.
