A person's body language is usually quite difficult to understand because communication is not universal. You should be able to pick up on the cues that other people are conveying by taking into account aspects of your personality, social life, what you want to say, how to say it, and the situation during the conversation. While not all of this information is available to you, it would be helpful if you could make the most of it. By understanding these aspects, you can interpret a person's body language and see if he is conveying something that contradicts what he is saying.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Observing Body Language
Step 1. Ignore the myths about body language
If there were certain universally applicable cues to identify someone who was lying, surely not everyone would be able to lie! A person's body language is usually influenced by the situation, energy level, personality, self-confidence, and closeness to you.
- Certain behaviors are usually associated with the attitude of someone who is lying so they tend to be avoided by liars so they don't get caught. For example, talking while looking down is considered a sign that someone is lying. As a result, liars usually don't want to look down when lying.
- Many people display certain attitudes, habits, or reactions when they are emotional or in trouble. You can tell if there is a lie by recognizing the behavior. For example, if your friend/partner usually smiles when they lie, use this gesture as a clue.
- If you can identify a person's attitudes and habits, they will usually be aware of this as well. Many people compensate so that their lies are not detected through body language. For example, if you and your friend/partner know that they usually smile when they lie, they may not smile when they lie to trick you.
Step 2. Identify some patterns that your friends/partners usually use
While there are no generally accepted signs of lying, people who lie do tend to exhibit certain body postures that make them appear more tense than usual, such as dilated pupils and looking nervous. Besides, he usually tries to look nonchalant.
- However, a person who looks restless and indifferent doesn't mean he's lying.
- Everyone has very different body language patterns.
- Pupil dilation can occur for many reasons, not just lying.
Step 3. Accept your strengths and weaknesses
Body language is a nonverbal communication channel for receiving messages from others without using words or speaking. There are three main channels of nonverbal communication: kinesics (facial expressions, eye contact, and body language), touch, and personal space.
- Usually, we are more skilled at communicating nonverbally by kinesics, next by maintaining personal space, and finally through touch.
- People usually find it easier to identify pleasant kinesics than unpleasant kinesics. This means that you will understand happiness and joy better than fear, hatred, or lies.
- If you don't understand what personal space means, do the following test. When standing in line behind someone you don't know, stand at a normal distance. Now, take one step closer to this person. Does the closer distance make you uncomfortable? Does the person in front of you adjust the distance from you? This is nonverbal communication through personal space.
Step 4. Learn about another culture
Each culture has a different way of conveying nonverbal messages. For example, in Finnish culture, someone who makes eye contact is showing friendliness. In Japanese culture, someone who makes eye contact is considered to be expressing anger. Pay attention to your own culture, the culture of your friends/partners, and the situation you are in.
Method 2 of 3: Listening
Step 1. Observe what your friends say
People who lie tend to give short answers and are less likely to tell stories. They also often stop talking and are slow to respond. In addition, they also do not respond to other people's statements or questions in detail.
Pay attention to when your friend should be able to tell a long story, for example by asking what she has planned for the holidays. Don't ask questions that can only be answered with a "yes" or "no"
Step 2. Pay attention to the details
Sometimes, you can catch a lie by paying close attention when your friend/partner tells the story. People who lie often use sensory-related words, such as “I see”, “Smells similar to”, or “I hear”. In addition, they also tend to use pronouns and phrases that describe other people, such as “he forgot” or “this incident happened to the car” instead of “I forgot.”
- Liars usually don't tell the truth to justify themselves.
- Beware of stories that seem far-fetched and seem unlikely.
- People who lie usually rarely communicate by moving their hands while speaking.
Step 3. Observe your friend/partner's voice
Does he speak in a higher tone of voice than usual? Is it faster, slower, or louder than usual? The discomfort of lying causes them to speak in a higher pitch, but some try to cover it up or distract them in other ways. If your friend/partner speaks in a different tone of voice, this might be a clue.
Method 3 of 3: Observing Behavior Change
Step 1. Try to find out where your friend/partner is
Maybe during a certain time, you don't know where your friend/partner is. Unexplained snippets of time could be a clue that he was lying about his whereabouts at that time.
- Talk to your friend/partner about what he does when you're not with him. Respect his personal space and your relationship.
- Find out the truth of her story by asking her friends, family, or coworkers.
Step 2. Check your own finances
Infidelity can occur because of an argument or financial problems. So you have to check your bank accounts, savings and cash in your wallet. This step is especially important for married couples, but it applies to anyone who manages finances together.
- Find out if there are expenses to pay for unreasonable fees.
- Do not investigate other people's financial history without their permission. You should only check your own financial condition.
Step 3. Observe what he does
Your partner may show a different attitude when they are with you. He may check his phone more often or kiss you before bed. Changes in behavior can tell many things, including lying. Try to find out what caused the change in behavior to determine if your partner is lying.
- One of the most common changes was when he answered questions. People who lie usually don't like being asked questions, such as "Why don't you believe me?" or "Who's curious?"
- Changes in behavior may be most evident on social media, texting, or at work. You may not see it clearly yourself.
Step 4. Evaluate your relationship
Have you been having trouble trusting your partner? Have you ever been lied to by your partner? The problem is not with your partner lying to you, but because you feel that your partner will lie to you. If there is a suspicion that your partner will lie to you, evaluate your relationship with him/her thoroughly. Occasional or habitual lying can be a sign of problems in a relationship.
- If your partner likes to lie, decide whether you want to continue the relationship and forgive him.
- In order to be forgiven, the wrongdoer must take responsibility, show remorse, and restore the relationship by changing behavior. You have to appreciate the effort and see it as a positive thing.
Tips
- Learn to trust your partner.
- Your partner may meet any or all of the criteria mentioned in this article and never lie to you.
- The best way to find out if your friend/partner is lying to you is to ask the truth and get an honest answer. For that, show that you care more about the truth he is telling than punishing him.
- To avoid having to ask the truth, the best way to find out if your friend/partner is lying to you is to try to get to know him as best you can. If you know your friend/partner well, you can tell if he's lying by changing his behavior and speech patterns.
- Show your partner how you feel and communicate without judging.
- Don't be rude when it comes to important or serious topics. Use positive sentences and show that you really want to continue the relationship.
- Even if you know you've been lied to, you may not know why. For example, your friend/partner is lying because she is trying to cover up something she really wants, such as learning a foreign language or taking dance lessons.
