Maybe you've seen a movie where the main character is haunted by jealousy? There are various ways to tell if your friends are jealous of you. Watch his behavior as you interact with him and see if he seems to be belittling you or keeping his distance. Pessimistic people tend to get jealous easily. If a friend seems envious of you, talk to them to find the best solution for both parties. True friendship can overcome envy.
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Part 1 of 3: Paying Attention to Friends When Interacting
Step 1. Beware of insincere compliments
Jealousy tends to make a person supportive by giving compliments, but he'll have a hard time hiding his feelings because the compliment isn't sincere. You can catch his passive aggressive behavior when he's giving a compliment by paying attention to his demeanor. This could be an indication that he is jealous.
For example, your friend may say something to you that sounds like a compliment, but is actually trying to make fun of you. For example, when you get hired at a new company, he gives you an insincere compliment by saying, "Good news! This company rarely hires inexperienced employees. Congratulations!"
Step 2. See if he underestimates your success
Self-deprecating people tend to be envious of others. Therefore, he easily underestimates the success of those around him. When you achieve something good, he will think of negative words or ways to make it seem like you don't deserve it.
- For example, when you get an "A" on your paper, an envious friend will say, "Don't be arrogant. This semester is still 3 months away. I'm not too sure about my grades myself."
- In addition to belittling your success, he always wants to be seen as superior by making comments that show that he is better than you. He will say something while insisting that his achievements are greater and better than yours. For example, "I remember taking calculus class. Calculus lessons were much more difficult, but I always got A's on all my assignments and tests so I got the highest GPA in my class."
Step 3. Notice if he seems less enthusiastic
Good friends will also feel happy when celebrating the success of their friends. When you receive joyful congratulations from friends, jealous friends will respond differently. He may also compliment you, for example, "Wonderful!" in a curt tone. The congratulations he gave were insincere and unpleasant.
Step 4. Notice if it pulls away
An envious friend will sometimes try to secretly avoid you because your success has made him realize what he doesn't have. Gradually, he seems to distance himself from you.
- When you contact him, he'll say he's "very busy" and always give excuses for not seeing you.
- When gathered in a community, he is willing to make time for others, but never interacts with you.
Step 5. Notice if he is listening when you speak
An envious friend will be reluctant to listen to other people's success stories. This can be seen from his attitude that does not care when you talk about work, school, or a new relationship. Maybe he's staring elsewhere, busy fiddling with his phone, not responding, or asking no questions.
Part 2 of 3: Observing His Behavior
Step 1. Notice if he is a pessimist
Envy people tend to have negative mindsets. He assumes that other people achieve success easily, whereas he always faces problems. You will pick up on pessimism if you frequently interact with envious friends.
- Pessimistic friends will usually oppose your plans. For example, if you want to learn a new skill, an envious friend will give you various reasons for not doing it.
- Know that jealous people are generally pessimistic about themselves. If you propose a solution when he encounters a problem, he's likely to immediately find an excuse to say that the solution isn't helpful.
Step 2. Notice if he tries to copy your habits
An envious friend may copy some of the things you do so they can live a life like you. At times, he may appear to be dressed as you usually wear, following your tastes, imitating your behavior, talking and joking with the same subject.
At times, he tries to do various ways to surpass you. For example, if you run 20 minutes a day, he will run 30 minutes a day
Step 3. Notice if he complains about injustice
Envy friends often complain that they feel they are being treated unfairly, for example, by saying, "Life seems unfair to me because everything is easy for you. You always get a high paying job, while I am stuck in a company that is almost bankrupt." He will provide references to prove that he has experienced injustice and will often blame circumstances for not being able to get or achieve what you have.
Step 4. Observe if he likes to seek attention
Envy people usually feel good about being noticed. Observe his attitude when he interacts with other people. An envious friend will behave in a certain way to make him the center of attention.
- Pay attention to whether he brags on social media by posting photos to show positivity or showing a very happy life. In addition, he will make friends with your friends on social media because he wants to get recognition from people close to you.
- He will seek the attention of friends in the group. He will tell jokes with the loudest voice or be very humorous. He also often interrupts the conversation and interrupts other people's anecdotes by telling strange things.
Step 5. Monitor his behavior when socializing
An envious friend may ostracize you. He often hangs out with friends without your involvement. He never invites you again. In fact, he won't hesitate to lie to you by saying that he's busy with work, but you see him out with someone.
Part 3 of 3: Dealing with an Envy Friend
Step 1. Learn to put yourself in his shoes
Think about why he's jealous and emotional. People will easily feel jealous when they are in a bad condition. Maybe without realizing it, you often tell stories about your daily life and your successes so that he feels jealous. If this is the trigger, change the subject. The main goal is to find out what makes him jealous so that the problem can be discussed and resolved as best as possible.
- Consider whether he's having a hard time or has recently been disappointed. Problems at work or in a relationship can make a person jealous.
- Think about what you can do to help your friend not be jealous of you. While he can share in the joy that your life is going well, he will find it difficult to receive support if he is going through a tough time. Maybe because you are too proud of yourself and your success.
Step 2. Try to understand the concern
Do your best to be compassionate and show understanding. He may feel jealous because he has difficulty accepting himself as a result of his inability to respect himself, lack of self-confidence, and pent-up sadness. Maybe he doesn't have the opportunity to live a life as good as you and others have.
In general, people who are able to respect themselves will accept themselves as they are so they are never jealous. However, people who hide their insecurities tend to be jealous
Step 3. Get him to talk
Once you understand what he's going through, take the time to talk to him one-on-one. For example, you could say, "I feel your attitude has changed recently and you seem envious of me. I want to know what caused it so that we can find the best solution because I really value our friendship."
- Face problems with an open mind. Although his attitude seems irrational, there may be a complaint he wants to convey. Chances are, you don't realize you're being insensitive to the situation he's in.
- After explaining how you feel, give him a chance to express his feelings.
Step 4. Find a mutually agreed solution
If you want a lasting friendship, try to find a solution that works for both parties. Explain the things he needs to change and tell him what you would like to do to change yourself if you were to play a part in this too.
- Tell him that from now on, you will ask questions before telling the good news. Sometimes, he doesn't like hearing about your success because it makes him jealous.
- Ask him to tell you that your success story has made him jealous so you can talk about something else instead of telling about your success.
Step 5. Disconnect if necessary
If he's still jealous, you can break off the relationship. Start by blocking the contact or talking to him directly. For example, say to him, "I think it would be better if we weren't friends anymore if you continued to envy me. I hope you can accept this decision." Even if you're saddened by the loss of a friend, remember that jealous friends can have a negative impact on your daily life. You should stay away from negative people like this.
