Your parents may seem like enemies to you at times, but they are actually there to help and support you. If you're worried about talking about a bad report card, remember that they'll only be angry or sad for a while – and this is because they care and want you to excel. When you explain the problem of poor grades with the right attitude, the effects are less severe.
Step
Part 1 of 2: Preparing to Talk to Parents
Step 1. Understand your report card system
Depending on the grades you get, your report card may not contain unusual information, such as an A or a B in the math or science category. The report card may also show some social skills or work habits, such as the ability to pay attention or a fondness for conversation. Report cards can also show certain values, for example S (satisfactory / satisfactory), N (needs improvement / need improvement), or D (developing / under development). Make sure you ask the teacher to explain any parts of the report card that are not clear. You should be able to explain your values to your parents as completely as possible.
- Know the basics of your assessment. Was there only one test that scored poorly, or have you had the chance to be graded on 5 tests? How many quizzes, exams and homework count? You may also be able to collect some test results, quizzes, and homework to discuss with parents.
- Also think about the type of report card you receive. Some schools provide report cards every 9 weeks to show student progress in a semester. Reports like this will not be recorded in the final report because their values can be increased. If your school has a semester-by-term report card system, the grades are important because they cover all of your accomplishments in a semester and will be archived so that they continue to apply to you. Make sure you understand how the school writes grades reports and learn which types of report cards are permanent and which are not.
Step 2. Think about why you find it difficult to study at school
Write down all the reasons you can think of as to why you got bad grades in certain subjects. Parents may ask reasons, so be prepared to answer them. Be honest when evaluating yourself. Here are some reasons that might be causing you to not do well in class:
- Sitting next to a friend or being easily distracted.
- The teacher is boring and you often fall asleep.
- You like to relax or have fun after school instead of doing your homework.
- You don't like the subject so you don't pay attention.
- You understand the subject well enough, but worry about the exam so you score poorly.
- You try your best and pay attention, but are unable to keep up with the lessons.
- Teachers don't prepare you well enough for quizzes and exams. Do other students also have difficulty in this subject?
Step 3. Ask the teacher for advice
You may know your report card will be bad before it is given. So talk to the teacher to prepare a performance improvement plan. Be honest with the teacher about why you are having trouble studying.
- Ask if you'd get extra value if you tried harder.
- Ask the teacher for their opinion on issues with your performance. Teachers are very experienced in helping students who are struggling; he may be able to spot some problems in your learning abilities, which you wouldn't normally take as serious.
- Ask for suggestions to understand the lesson better.
Step 4. Create a performance improvement plan
Use all the information and ideas you get during your self-evaluation and from talking with the teacher to determine the best strategy so that you can perform better in the next period. Approaching your parents with an improvement plan will let them know that you realize you've made a mistake, and, more importantly, that you're old enough to fix the situation. This way, they will have more confidence in your promise to increase value. Here are a few ways you can go about doing this:
- Take additional classes with the teacher.
- Do any additional assignments you have discussed with the teacher.
- Sit in a location where you can't see or talk to distracting friends in class.
- Make sure you get enough sleep each night and eat a proper breakfast to provide energy to keep you awake throughout the day.
- List the uses of a lesson for your future life. You probably don't want to be a mathematician when you grow up – maybe a writer. However, you still have to get good grades in math to be able to continue your education in college!
Step 5. Create a fixed daily schedule
Everyone will act in a different way. So, set a schedule that you think will be effective for yourself. You may be the kind of person who has to do everything at once. Therefore, set a schedule to start homework as soon as you get home, then relax in the evening. If you're always tired after school, take an hour or two to rest. Find the best way for you.
The most important thing is that you start doing your homework at the same time every day. Routines are important to make learning a part of your life
Step 6. Set realistic long-term goals for yourself
Why are values important to you? What do you want to do in your future life? Most students want to continue their studies and find work. Do you know what kinds of schools you would like to attend and what subjects you would like to master? Understanding your achievement expectations and the grades you'll need to go to college can help determine whether you should get an A, B, or C.
Report cards are not just about grades. The report card should show your hard work, improvement, and learning on a subject. Develop a love for learning, or at least, understand why you need to study and work hard
Part 2 of 2: Talking to Parents
Step 1. Don't try to hide the report card from your parents
Although you may be very tempted to do so, resist the temptation. Hiding your values will show that you are immature, but being responsible and approaching your parents shows maturity. They may also be angrier if you hide it. Don't let this happen.
Make sure you tell them too. Don't let them say, "Why are you telling me now?" or "Why didn't you tell papa/mama right away after receiving the report card?"
Step 2. Talk to both parents at the same time
Even if you get closer to one of them first, you'll end up having to talk to both of them in the end. This way, you show that you are responsible for the mistakes and want to have a serious discussion with them. Your parents will appreciate you more.
Let your parents know that you got a bad grade before showing the report card. Hearing bad news rather than seeing it in person would be better, so parents wouldn't be too surprised
Step 3. Explain the reasons for your performance
When talking to your parents, explain why you scored poorly on this report card. You can then have a dialogue with them. Tell them that you know your performance and your strengths and weaknesses. Show your list of reasons and discuss one by one honestly.
Don't make excuses that aren't true. Avoid things like, “My teacher is bad!” or “Not my fault!”. You also shouldn't lie or deny data on your report card by saying, "I didn't know I was skipping homework" or "I didn't realize I was talking too much in class." Take responsibility for your actions. Show your parents that you're an adult, ready to accept the consequences, and willing to improve
Step 4. Show the new study plan
Explain to parents about strategies to increase grades. Tell me why and why you think this strategy works. Write down a plan and give it to your parents so they know the steps you're taking. Ask for their suggestions on how you can improve your grades even more.
- Explain to your parents that you are not satisfied with your grades. This shows that you take it very seriously.
- Don't tell your parents you'll do better - show them. Provide a structured plan to show that you are serious about improving yourself.
Step 5. Determine the definition of bad from the parent's side
Knowing the meaning of bad and good grades from yourself and your parents can help you deal with the report card period. You will also understand your parents' expectations of you.
- At the start of the school year, after a bad report card, or whenever you first think about it, you and your parents should sit down and discuss your school performance expectations, your personal expectations, and how high you expect your results to be. In this way, you and your parents agree on a common ground for the achievement you want.
- Know that doing well in school doesn't mean you always have to get an A. Not all students can do this. For some students, the best they can get is a B, even a C. You may be used to getting an A in English, but a C in math is already an improvement. Try your best, but don't set goals that are impossible to achieve.
- Remember that the further you learn, the more challenging things will become. Don't be afraid if you start getting B's in subjects that were usually A's when you were in middle/high school. If this happens, explain to your parents that geometry is easy, but algebra and trigonometry are much more difficult. Tell your parents that physics is easier than chemistry.
Step 6. Focus on the positive
When talking to your parents, point out the positives on your report card. Even if you get some bad grades, focus on the good stuff. At times, this may be difficult to practice, but make sure you highlight your accomplishments. Do you get positive comments from the teacher or are you always present without being absent?
- One of the most important things to focus on is any academic improvement or achievement – no matter how small. Did you manage to increase your score by two points? Did you manage to maintain a B average in science?
- Don't let bad grades mess up all the good results written on the report card. Evaluate the bad grades too – are you and your parents unhappy about a C in history? Is this value an increase in performance from the previous time? If so, focus on those accomplishments and promise to keep improving them!
Step 7. Don't assume that your parents will be angry
Parents were also children. So, don't assume that they will treat you badly. They may remember that they also had bad report cards, and if this is your first time, ask them to understand. Remember, if you speak calmly and maturely, you will set a positive example.
- Remain polite and respectful, even when you are frustrated. When your parents hear from you, they may be surprised and a little angry, but don't let you get defensive or get angry with them again.
- Be prepared to be punished like an adult.
Step 8. Be optimistic
Reports are not the end of the world. There will always be room to improve and improve yourself and your values. Plus, you now have a plan to fix the problem! You know how to perform better. Therefore, promise your parents and yourself that you will make it happen. Increasing grades talks about improving oneself in addition to pleasing parents.
Don't be so discouraged and upset that you give up. Don't tell your parents, "I can't fix myself! I'm a loser! I'm stupid! This can't be done!". These thoughts are of no use to you or your parents. Start by setting small goals if the end goal seems difficult to achieve. Try saying, "I'm going to increase the score on the next quiz and test by 5 or 10 points." These targets will stack up to a significantly larger increase
Step 9. Ask parents to talk to other parents or teachers
Do you find it difficult to study in class because of the teacher? Be very honest – don't immediately blame the teacher if your poor performance is your fault. Blaming teachers for no good reason will only make things worse – both at home and at school. However, if you know that many other students in the class are struggling and the teacher hasn't prepared you well to pass the exam, let your parents know that the teacher may be contributing to your decline.
- Suggest a parent-teacher meeting with your involvement. Talking to teachers and parents can not only be motivational and provide tips for improving learning, but you can also let them know that you are serious about improving yourself.
- Be careful about how you make arguments. Parents may assume that you are trying to throw an error. So, provide enough evidence to convince them that the teacher is at least a factor in the problem.
Step 10. Ask your parents to help you study
Tell them honestly that you're not sure you can stick to the daily schedule you've set, and ask them to help you take responsibility. Make a promise that you won't resent them for helping you discipline yourself. Some other ways that parents can help you are:
- Explain difficult concepts in their words. Sometimes teachers and textbooks can explain things in a way that is difficult to understand. Perhaps, parents who know you and how your brain works, can tell these things more clearly.
- Help create reminder cards.
- Test your knowledge.
- Checks your PR to make sure you haven't made any mistakes, and helps correct any errors if any.
- Give extra assignments outside of school so you can practice difficult concepts.
- You should understand that parents are very busy and may not have the time you expect to help with your homework. In the end, it is you who are fully obligated to learn. So, be grateful for all the extra help that parents give.
Step 11. Ask parents to hire a tutor
Specially trained personal tutors will help you catch up even if the fees may be high. Don't resent your parents if they can't afford to hire a tutor.
If you can't find a tutor, ask a high-achieving friend for help. This way, you won't be working alone, and your parents won't have to spend a lot of money either
Step 12. Talk to your parents about your grades between each report card period
Telling parents about grades throughout the school year can help them avoid being surprised when they see a report card. Show them test and quiz results when they get home from work. You can also make time each week to do the assignments in the following week, so that you and your parents are aware of progress in school achievement.
Doing assignments can also be useful to let you know what difficulties you are facing. If you suddenly get a bad score on a quiz or test, you and your parents can discuss the problem and find a solution. This helps you overcome all the difficulties at school before they get worse
Tips
- If one parent is more understanding than the other, consider speaking to a more understanding person before you converse with both.
- When your parents are angry, stay calm. Arguments and debates will only make things worse.
- Speak to parents in a friendly tone and listen to them. They really just want you to be successful.
- Relieve tension. Boxing pillows, pedaling as fast as you can, or listening to music that excites you, but avoid getting into fights with your parents.
- Set up a reasonable punishment for yourself, to show that you are serious about the bad grade situation and will prevent it from happening again.
- Remember, your parents still love you, even when your grades are bad!
- Tell mom and dad that school is difficult and that you need support and help to achieve your academic goals.
- Tell the positives too and that you will try to do your part.
- Honesty will help in the long run. Your parents will be more upset if you lie or hide the facts. Tell your parents about your plans to improve your grades next semester.
- Don't use excuses like, "The kids in my class talk too much." This will make you look irresponsible and try to avoid trouble. Be honest and accept your mistakes.
- Prepare for the worst, but stay positive.
- Some parents expect a lot. Tell them what you don't understand and they may be able to help.
- Even though every parent wants their child to get an A on their report cards, they will still love you when reality doesn't say so! Worrying will only make you tired and frustrated – leaving you with no solution. Stay positive, even in bad situations.
Warning
- Don't hide report cards from your parents. Eventually they will come to their senses and may get angry.
- Do not ever lie. Lying only exacerbates the problem!
- Don't fake the signature on the report card. The teacher can tell the parent if he notices it, so you will be in a bad situation.
- Don't stress when talking to your parents. Your parents may forgive and forget your mistakes, but you shouldn't worry if they need some time to cool off – it's because they really care and want what's best for you.
