As humans who naturally have a role as social beings, avoiding other people (whether you know them or not) is not as easy as turning the palm of your hand, especially if that person is in need of your presence. Don't worry, though, as this article has provided a number of simple tips you can apply to minimize your presence, whether you want to avoid a specific person or just want to take a break from the hustle and bustle of the crowd. First, understand why you want to do it, and always remember that you can't always avoid other people.
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Method 1 of 2: Avoiding People in General
Step 1. Think about why you want to avoid other people
For example, introverted people generally need time to be alone to recharge after social interactions with other people. However, it's also possible that you may actually have a depression or social anxiety disorder that makes it difficult for you to interact with other people. If you feel you are in a second situation, try asking the relevant parties for help.
- Introversion is a very normal social preference. Someone who has an introvert personality tends to fill his mental power by being alone, in contrast to an extroverted personality who fills his mental power by spending time with other people. Feel free to give your body and mind the space and time it needs. Do whatever it takes to restore your balance!
- If you don't know your social preferences, or want to explore personality in more depth, try taking a personality test such as one based on the Myers-Briggs indicator. However, understand that the test will not be able to explain the intricacies of your personality completely and thoroughly.
- Social anxiety disorder, or social phobia, can cause sufferers to experience extreme fear and shame about various forms of social interaction, such as meeting new people, talking to new people, or attending social events. This fear may be rooted in his worry about receiving criticism or judgment from others regarding his appearance, words, and actions. If you think you have social anxiety disorder, try consulting a therapist or professional counselor.
- Some of the characteristics of depressive disorder are feelings of sadness and hopelessness, which are accompanied by a loss of interest in things that once piqued your interest. Generally, people who are depressed will be compelled to withdraw from their friends, relatives, and other close people. Ironically, support from those closest to you is actually the most powerful medicine for dealing with depression! Therefore, if you feel depressed, don't hesitate to tell the people closest to you. If necessary, seek help and support from a professional counselor or therapist.
Step 2. Don't leave the house
This is a great way to escape other people and the crowds that inevitably overwhelm the world outside your private residence.
- Spend time reading books, watching television, accessing the internet, playing games, or doing other activities that you enjoy.
- Turn off the phone or put it in “silent” mode. Also turn off online chat applications such as Facebook Chat, Skype, or Google Messenger.
- Remember, this solution is temporary. Of course at one point, you still have to move outside the house, right?
Step 3. Show that you are difficult to approach
If you have to go outside, show nonverbal signals that make it clear that you don't want other people to approach you.
- Don't make eye contact with anyone. A wise saying states that the eyes are the window to enter one's soul. In general, eye contact is a social signal that shows your willingness to interact with other people. In particular, eye contact is able to create connection and mutual awareness among all parties involved in a social situation. Therefore, focus on staring at your phone, books, things around you, or even your feet. Never look other people's eyes!
- Wear earplugs or headphones. Listen to music, podcasts, or just wear headphones to keep others from engaging you. No matter where you are (whether you're riding the train, walking alone, or sitting in a city park), other people will be hesitant to come over if you see your headphones covered in your ears.
- Read something. Focus on a book, newspaper, Kindle, or iPad. Soak up the information you read so that other people feel hesitant to approach and invite you to interact.
Step 4. Go to a remote location
If you want to avoid crowds, go places where no one else goes.
- For example, go camping on the weekends. There's nothing wrong with taking a break from the hustle and bustle of the city. However, make sure you do some comprehensive research before going on any trip, OK!
- Visit the nearest national park. Browse the internet to find open conservation areas, urban forests, and other areas that are still rarely touched by humans. If you want, you can go hiking or just sit in the silence of nature. Before doing so, understand all the regional rules that apply and make sure you comply with them.
- Remember, the possibility of meeting other people is always there, even in the most remote locations. After all, this planet is inhabited by billions of people that you can't possibly avoid entirely. If you must meet other people at your retreat, still greet them politely before continuing on your journey.
Method 2 of 2: Avoiding Specific People
Step 1. Understand the person's schedule and habits
Trust me, you'll find it easier to avoid it if you know about it.
- Find out where the office is. Once you know that, avoid the area. If you both work in the same office, meet with your boss and ask if you can change your hours.
- Don't attend parties or other events that she also attends. If you wish, you can also arrive late to avoid being at the location at the same time. If the event is managed online, don't forget to check the list of guests who will be attending before deciding to come.
Step 2. Change your routine
Identify times and situations that allow you to meet the person, and try to avoid them. To avoid the possibility of constantly running into someone, changing your routine is one option worth trying.
- If you can't avoid the situation in question (for example, you both go to school or work at the same place), try taking more extreme steps, such as finding a new job or changing class schedules. Also, spend more time interacting with the other person so you don't get stuck in a situation with him alone.
- Each day, take a different route to school or work. Also take a different route when you are going home. If you usually always hang out in one place after school, try to go straight home this time.
- If you're worried that someone is stalking or watching you, try changing your routine more often. In other words, never take the same route! Also, share a situation that is bothering you with a parent, teacher, or trusted friend.
Step 3. Avoid the person on social media
Ignore the entire message and be careful when posting personal information on your social media pages. Remember, your online life isn't as private as it seems!
- Consider blocking his Facebook account. Try unfriending him on Facebook, and changing the account privacy settings so that your posts are not visible to him. Most likely, this step will need to be done if he doesn't stop interfering with your life.
- Also delete the account from all social media you have, such as Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, etc. The less relationship you have with him, the easier it will be for you to avoid him.
- Be careful, he might know if you delete or block his social media accounts. If caught, he will automatically realize that you don't want to be associated with him anymore. However, on the other hand, the situation between the two of you can actually heat up after that.
Step 4. Don't pick up calls from numbers you don't know
If you're trying to avoid someone but the person keeps calling you, let the phone ring until it goes to voice mail on its own. Be careful, the person may disguise their phone number or use someone else's cell phone when calling you.
- If you receive a call from a hidden private number, don't pick it up! After all, if it is important, the caller will leave a message in the voice mailbox or contact you in some other way.
- In America, many telephone service providers offer assistance in identifying your last call. If you want to know the identity of the last caller, you only need to dial *69. The service will notify you of the phone number registered to your last call along with the date, time and area of the call.
- Try blocking his number to prevent him from contacting you on his personal cell phone.
Step 5. Don't make eye contact with him
Understand that eye contact is a nonverbal gateway to social interaction, and he may interpret it as an invitation to communicate with you.
- If you accidentally make eye contact with him, immediately look away and find someone else to interact with.
- If you see the person in your path, try to keep your distance from them. If possible, go down that path only after he's gone. Don't give him a chance to ask you to communicate.
Step 6. Make sure there is always someone else near you both
In fact, the number of people is directly proportional to your level of security, you know! Therefore, make sure you are always active in groups and avoid the possibility of interacting alone with the person you are avoiding.
- After all, the person will definitely feel intimidated to approach you if they see you interacting with other people. Therefore, wherever you go (such as to class, the cafeteria, or even the bathroom), always ask someone else to accompany you.
- If you absolutely must have a one-on-one interaction with the person, try to end the conversation as soon as possible. Don't give him a chance to continue the conversation by uttering excuses like, "I have to get to class," or "I have to meet up with someone and I'm late," and then walk away from him.
Step 7. Try requesting a restraining order from the authorities if you feel your safety is being threatened
If he's still stalking you, despite your firm objections, don't hesitate to involve the authorities to stop him.
- In general, there are several types of warrants to stay away from victims. For example, mail can be used to keep bullies away from you, make sure the person is always at a certain distance (such as 50 or 100 meters) from you, and forcibly remove the person from your home.
- If someone is bothering you, don't hesitate to contact a trusted friend, relative, teacher, or other adult. In other words, make sure the people closest to you know exactly where you are.
- If you feel you are in danger, contact the police immediately. Clearly state the name, position and identity of the person who threatens your security. Make sure you also secure yourself in a safe place, such as a classroom, shop, friend's house, or a location with a lot of people. If necessary, lock yourself in the bathroom, and call the police from there.
Step 8. Consider confronting the person
Trust me, always sneaking behind other people to disguise your existence can trigger unnecessary stress. After all, both of your problems would probably be solved if you confronted them, right?
- Think about the problem, and plan what you want to say. Was the problem triggered by you or him? Before having a confrontation, make sure your emotions are under control. Be calm, patient, and rational.
- Be careful. Think of a response he might make. If you feel the response will be negative or harmful to you, try hiring a professional mediator or bringing a mediator such as a relative or friend with you both.
