Being around an impatient person can certainly make you feel like you're walking in a minefield, you're constantly afraid you'll explode. Moreover, people whose patience is thin usually provoke you to lose your temper too. Whatever you do, you're bound to meet impatient people at work, school, or in personal relationships. Learn how to react to impatience and don't let his attitude affect yours.
Step
Part 1 of 4: Responding to Repeated Impatience
Step 1. Anticipate impatience at work
Dealing with the impatience of a boss or coworker can have a negative impact on your work performance. If you already know that you will be dealing with an impatient person, try to prioritize work so that you can relieve stress on both parties.
- How you respond to impatience in everyday life will generally depend on your relationship with the impatient person. Use a proactive attitude when dealing with impatience in your relationship with the person.
- For example, if you know your boss isn't happy with a last-minute report, put other work aside so you can report earlier.
- If you can't prioritize helping someone who is impatient, try creating a schedule that will satisfy each person's needs. Let them know that you understand their concerns and are willing to find solutions. Once the schedule has been approved, make sure you stick to it to minimize future impatience.
Step 2. Talk to your partner about how his or her impatience is affecting you
In a romantic relationship, you may be more free to share your feelings and thoughts about his impatience. Here, the "I" statement will be very helpful.
- Plan a time to sit down with your partner and discuss the source of his or her impatience. Is your boyfriend impatient because you took too long to prepare for a date? Is your wife impatient when you can't decide what you want for dinner? Both parties should try to express the problem to their partner. “I was worried if you were being impatient with me. What can I do to minimize your impatience?"
- Next, try to design a solution that considers both parties. For example, maybe your boyfriend can pick you up a few minutes late so you have a few extra minutes to get dressed. Or, you can dress up as needed and then finish the makeup or hairdo in the car.
Step 3. Set up a system for dealing with impatience in children
If you often notice impatience in your young child or teenager, find practical ways to deal with his impatience and at the same time prevent anger or frustration. Again, this requires a thorough evaluation of the problem or discussion with the child to determine which strategy will work.
- For a young child who becomes impatient when you are busy or engrossed in something else, you can provide a toy, activity, or snack to distract him temporarily until you can provide him with what he needs.
- For teenagers, the solution will depend on the context. Say he's impatient when he has to wait for you to get things done on the phone. You can ask him to write down what he needs and prepare what he's going to say while you're still on the phone. If your teen is impatient because his soccer jersey hasn't been washed when needed, he can let you know ahead of time so you can wash it right away. Or, you can buy two uniforms so that one is always clean.
Part 2 of 4: Reacting to Moments of Impatience
Step 1. Use “I” statements when talking to impatient people
To ease his impatience, pay attention to your language. You should explain the effect his impatience is having on you in order to find a solution and not just cause trouble or blame him. This is not a time to fight, but to build supportive relationships and talk about what really happened. Use "I" statements to express your feelings without blaming the other person.
- For example, say, “I get overwhelmed when you rush my work. This project takes several hours. Can you not ask until tomorrow?
- Make sure you comment that the problem is the behavior, not the person. Since you know him well, you need to focus on short-term behavior while still maintaining the positive side of everyday relationships. Do not provoke debate, instead solve the problem in front of your eyes and then forget about it.
Step 2. Avoid saying “take it easy” or “calm down”
Impatience can be a sign of another problem, so don't make comments that belittle what's really going on. An impatient person may actually be stressed, feeling isolated, reacting to unexpected delays or harboring other feelings. Downplaying his feelings with “take it easy” or “calm down” can trigger an even bigger reaction.
Focus on words that acknowledge his behavior and don't try to play down his reaction. For example, if he seems angry that he had to wait, you could say, "You seem angry (or stressed, tired, irritated, etc.), how can I help you?" This will start the conversation and avoid further conflict
Step 3. Ask how you can help him
Rather than provoking bigger problems from an impatient person, sincerely offering help will give him a chance to be heard. It conveys that you are open to talking and that you are willing to find ways to address what is needed.
Even if you can't give him what he wants right away, a period of time or news can usually soothe his discomfort for a while
Step 4. Protect yourself from your own anger
Sometimes, someone's impatience can trigger anger in you. Realize that an angry response to the other person's anger or irritation will only make the problem worse. Try one of the following strategies to reduce your anger before the situation gets out of hand.
- Apply deep breathing techniques. Inhale through your mouth for a count of 4. Hold your breath for 7 counts and then exhale for 8 counts. Repeat until you calm down again.
- Ask for time to rest. Take time to organize your thoughts and calm yourself down. Call a friend or take a short walk. Then come back to deal with the problem again once you've calmed down.
- Find a middleman. Some people are hard to please. Find a superior or someone else who can mediate the discussion between you and this impatient person. This step will save you from stress. An impartial person can help resolve issues without getting emotionally involved.
Step 5. Ignore his impatient behavior and continue whatever you are doing
There are some people who are already impatient. That impatience is a part of them. If you know someone whose patience is limited, there may not be much you can do but ignore them. Knowing that your boss, co-workers, or even friends tend to be a bit impatient in general helps you understand that you shouldn't take it to heart.
Ignoring is a great approach for people you don't see often or know only briefly. If no relationship is involved, focusing too much time on the behavior may be a waste of time
Part 3 of 4: Reflecting on Yourself
Step 1. Think about your role in that person's impatience
Sometimes there are people who display their worst attributes around us because we provoke them unconsciously. Are you always late for assignments or asking for extra time? Your easygoing, “I have plenty of time” attitude may be contributing to that person's temper dwindling. Do you have to change?
- While a relaxed approach to life may be part of your charm, it can be frustrating for coworkers or friends who depend on you.
- Maybe it's time to think about how you can be more sensitive to their needs. You can start by opening up better lines of communication so they know you're open to change.
Step 2. Consider your own unpleasant qualities
We all have a tendency to seem annoying to others. Just as you expect others to accept you as you are, the same applies to accepting the best and worst in those around you.
- You've probably made people lose their temper if communication isn't your forte. What causes impatience is usually unknown, so if you think people are starting to get angry, it's a good idea to find out specifically why it's happening to you.
- If you almost always find someone who is impatient with you at work or at home, try asking for input on why this is happening. For example, if he thinks you're disorganized, ask for input on taking small steps that can change your habit. This is very useful, not only for changing your behavior but also showing that you are open to improving yourself.
Step 3. Try to empathize
Empathy means that you put yourself in the other person's shoes to see how he or she perceives the situation. Instead of getting emotional because of his impatience, take a moment to think about where his impatience is coming from and consider his role in the job or situation.
Much empathy can be woven into clearly understanding how your part in a task or job affects another person. For example, if a coworker has to wait for your report to start working on his own, it makes sense for him to become impatient because he doesn't know how it is progressing
Step 4. Hold back so that impatience doesn't affect you
This is more appropriate to apply to people who fall into two groups, people you rarely see or who you know well enough that you know that their impatience is temporary and not tied to your actions. If a member of your family is under stress for external reasons, he or she may be just a little impatient and may be ignored. Choosing what to deal with and what to avoid allows you to focus on the task at hand and will end the conflict altogether. You can't focus on the task if you're always arguing over pointless things.
- Count to 100 silently. This forces you to focus on nothing but counting and slowing your heart rate to a more relaxed beat.
- Get used to taking care of yourself. Mindfulness of yourself depends on what makes you relax and refocus. There are people who like proper, vigorous exercise to refresh themselves while others like quiet time with a book or meditation.
Part 4 of 4: Understanding Impatience
Step 1. Realize how today's hasty society encourages impatience
We live in a world that moves at the speed of light and demands immediate access to almost everything. The Internet makes it easy to access so much information that we forget that people need time to work, prepare reports, and process information. We are not machines, and building the human factor in life is important.
Step 2. Understand the relationship between impatience, anger, and health
Too much stress can harm the health and well-being of those around you. Try to find ways to avoid unnecessary and unproductive stress.
- Stress can be a cause of impatience. Coping with stress in certain situations can improve the mood for everyone involved and is better for overall health.
- Instead of battling impatience, think of long-term stress as something that can be changed.
Step 3. Learn from the impatience of others
Impatience is a sign of thinking too much about the future rather than the present. Witnessing the impatience of others can remind us to enjoy the present. It also reminds us that our actions affect others, take the impatience of others as a call to action when needed.
Tips
- Try to speak nicely because otherwise the person will only grow impatient.
- If the situation becomes increasingly tense, seek an intermediary.
Warning
- The problem is with him and you have every right to say that.
- Don't let other people's impatience irritate you. Most of it is just a show that reflects pent-up anger or bad planning on his part. He has no right to rule over others or be rude just because he didn't get what he wanted by pushing or outperforming everyone in his life.
