There are many reasons people want to turn over a new leaf. For example, after the loss of a loved one, a failure in a career, or maybe just being unsatisfied with life right now. Of course it will take a long time and hard work to start life in a new way. Learn different ways to be happy again and thrive in new ways.
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Method 1 of 4: Breaking Bad Habits
Step 1. Determine your bad habits
There are habits that are bad for physical health, some are bad for mental and mental health. However, there are also many good habits. We also need habits and routines to get through everyday life. As you go about your daily routine, find out what habits are bad, damaging, or interfering with your ability to be a better person. This way, you can determine what habits need to be changed.
- Make a list of the things you do every day. Start with what you do right when you wake up, and end with what you do right before bed.
- Include things you don't consider a habit. Even seemingly distinct activities on their own can become habits.
Step 2. Know the origin of bad habits
Sometimes a bad habit is so routine that we forget about its origins. When you find a bad habit in your daily routine, meditate on the use of the habit for you. For example, if you frequently go shopping or snack on excessive snacks, these activities may actually be your way of dealing with stress or sadness. If you spend too much time in front of the TV or the internet, you may be trying to avoid interacting with other people in the house.
- There is a motivation behind every action, whether conscious or not.
- Before you can change a bad habit, you need to know why you are doing it. Be honest with yourself. Find out if you're doing this to avoid something you don't want to do. Bad habits can also be an unproductive way of dealing with another disorder. For example, maybe you're used to biting your nails when you're nervous. The activity of biting your nails is your way of processing that restless feeling.
Step 3. Solve the problem initially
To break a bad habit, you need to work out the original reason. It may be difficult, but it's the only way to break the habit of doing things that are not necessary to avoid something. If you find it difficult to resolve the problem initially, contact a professional therapist.
- Replace your negative behavior with a positive one. For example, instead of overeating to deal with feelings of sadness, admit that you feel sad and talk about your feelings with someone else.
- Look for a psychologist online, or ask your doctor about the services of a psychologist, who may be able to advise you on the psychologist of your choice.
Step 4. Enlist the support of others
The best way to break a bad habit is to ask for support from others. Make a network of people who support you, can be a spouse, relatives / close friends, or a group of people in a particular group. You need people who know what's going on in your life and can help. If you have friends who are also trying to get rid of their bad habits, do it together.
Step 5. Be patient
Of course, breaking bad habits takes time, and sometimes you will fail. Remember that these failures are actually normal. Big life changes don't happen overnight. Think of eliminating bad habits as eliminating smoking or drinking alcohol. It is not easy and requires a lot of patience and hard work. Forgive yourself for failure, and use the experience to strengthen your will to change.
Method 2 of 4: Succeeding Yourself
Step 1. Find out what you enjoy
Do things that make you happy, both at work and when you are free. Most people have hobbies or activities that they like to do in their spare time. If you want to turn over a new leaf in your life, just look for a new job that makes you happier and more satisfied.
- Instead of chasing titles and money (which are important, of course), focus your attention on challenging jobs and putting responsibilities on your shoulders. Thus, you will thrive in the long run.
- Every day, do something you enjoy, or spend time with someone you love. This way, you will remember that you can create the future you want.
Step 2. Create a new goal
You need to leave old goals behind. Remember, this is a new chapter in your life. You don't need to give up big life goals (such as finding a stable job or a supportive partner), but you may need to change some details in your old life goals and adapt to new situations. This change will not be so difficult if you try to view it as a good thing, and as the beginning of an amazing new life. Create goals that are specific, measurable, achievable, results-focused, and have a timeline.
- Specific. You must have a concrete framework, motivation, and goal plan.
- Measured. Each goal should have clearly stated results and a method for measuring the success of those results.
- Achievable. Your goals should be challenging, but realistic and achievable.
- Focus on results. The goals you set should focus more on results, not on the actions you take to achieve them. Focus on goals that can create concrete results, and work on those goals until you get results.
- Have a time rule. This timing rule should be fast enough for you to feel that the goal is important and you are motivated to do so. However, it must still be realistic and accommodating to various complications or unexpected errors.
Step 3. Write down your goals
Research shows that writing down your goals on a piece of paper and looking at them every day will strengthen your intention to achieve them. Whatever your goal is, write it down on a piece of paper and place it where you will see it every day.
- Whatever your current state, you will feel happier if you have concrete goals and reminders of those goals that you see regularly.
- Look at your written goals as often as possible. This you need to do as part of your work in achieving these goals. You will also feel more motivated.
Step 4. Celebrate small successes
The road to success is up and down. When you're down, you're more likely to forget the big goals that were set from the start. Thus, you need to celebrate small successes.
There are many small successes in whatever you do. For example, even if you experience a loss, such as losing your business, consider it a success. You are now no longer confined to the business and you are free to start over in any way
Step 5. Ignore people who don't support you
There will be people who will tell you that you will not succeed or that your efforts are not important. Many people don't understand how important it is to challenge and develop yourself. Motivation and work ethic are important, but you also need to have the support and validation of those closest to you. Your friends and loved ones should be able to provide support as well as challenges so that you can continue to grow.
- If friends or coworkers don't support your efforts, find someone else who thinks like you and will support you.
- You can ask for support from one or a group of people. Don't be afraid to ask your coworkers or neighbors for support.
Method 3 of 4: Improving Social Interaction
Step 1. Small talk
If you are not used to it, you will be afraid to start long conversations with people you do not know. Start with small interactions or small talk. Give your smile to passersby on the street. Praise the people you meet every day. Say "thank you" to the cashier or shopkeeper. These small steps will increase your self-confidence. You will also be able to speak longer to people you did not know before.
Step 2. Practice speaking skills
If you still don't want to talk to strangers, practice speaking skills with people you know. Your speaking and social skills will become stronger with practice, and each time you practice, you will become more and more able to speak fluently to others.
Start with a long conversation with one or two people you know well. Then, continue talking to a group of people you know. Once you can talk to this group of people, start talking to people you don't really know
Step 3. Pay attention to how other people interact
One easy way to strengthen your social skills is to pay attention to how other people interact. You can do this simply. Pay attention to people you don't know. Go to a public place, such as a cafe or bar (if you're past the drinking age limit), and watch how they talk to each other.
- Summarize the structure of the conversation you're paying attention to. Is there one person who is so dominant? Is there a reciprocal dialogue? How did the topic change occur in the conversation, was it natural or sudden? Or maybe a combination of both?
- Also pay attention to body language. The people who are talking are close to each other or far away? Is there eye contact, or do they seem distracted by something else?
- Pay attention to as many people as possible in as diverse a situation as possible. This way, you will be better able to understand human conversations and interactions.
Step 4. Find a topic of conversation
If you want to talk to a friend, of course you must have a topic that you can talk to that person. If you're going to be talking to someone you don't know very well, read the latest news that can be a conversation starter.
Learn how to listen well. When you talk to other people, listen to what they have to say and talk about the topics they bring up. Show your interest in what the person has to say by asking relevant questions
Step 5. Be nice
One of the best ways to improve your social skills is to be friendly and approachable to everyone. If you are friendly and liked by people, people will be more likely to want to interact with you in the future.
- Always say "please" and "thank you" when you interact with other people. Other people can see the goodness of your attitude, and people tend to like people who are polite.
- Sometimes politeness will hide uncertainty or ambiguity. You will appear more confident when interacting with other people.
Method 4 of 4: Commit to Change
Step 1. Know why you are changing yourself
Change is healthy. Often we cannot avoid change. However, you also need to know why you want to change your life. Many factors make people want to change their lives. Everyone's reasons will be different, depending on the individual situation. Before you change, make sure your reasons are right.
Think about your motivation in turning over a new leaf in life. Do you want this change for yourself or for someone else? Why should you change?
Step 2. Make a promise to yourself
The goals and intentions you have set are meaningless without commitment. Whatever goals you set, promise yourself that you will not give up and that you will work hard to achieve success.
If you can't commit to yourself, do it for someone else. For example, for the pride of parents. Or, for a supportive partner or a friend. Whatever you do, promise yourself that you won't give up
Step 3. Leave the past behind
If in the past you have experienced various failures and sorrows, you will feel that your past situation will forever determine your future. However, your past doesn't have to rule your future. Make a conscious effort to let go of the past and create future success.
- If you're trying to overcome a trauma from the past, but feel like you're failing and can't move forward, seek the help of a psychologist. Counseling will be of great help to you. There are people with certain problems who really need counseling.
- To make it easier for you to let go of the past, find ways to overcome negative thoughts, stop repeating the same negative thoughts, and accept failure.
Step 4. Have realistic expectations
Life changes usually don't happen in one day. Usually, life will change after going through a long process, which contains various fun and annoying moments. Move slowly. Cultivate a positive mindset and future by making small daily changes.
