Personal development is a lifelong project. What you do and how you do it will help you become “perfect”. No matter what has inspired you, a particular woman or a specific quality of several women at once, you can perfect yourself by cultivating inner and outer characteristics and living life to the fullest.
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Part 1 of 6: Defining Perfect
Step 1. Learn about your idol
Think of the woman you consider "perfect". Make a list of the qualities you admire in them. Consider what they have done in life, their approach to life, their philosophy of life, achievements, personality, physical appearance, and style. What do all these women have in common?
Think of women you know, celebrities, or historical figures
Step 2. Know what your strengths are
Think about your life right now, what you do, your education, your job, your relationships with other people, and your physical health. Also consider your personality. Make a list of what you are proud of about yourself. Try to think of the evidence to support the list.
- For example, “I was a good kid: I called my parents every day/once a week and chatted patiently even though I didn't have much time at that time”.
- “I'm a diligent person: I always do my best, I never procrastinate, and check work standards thoroughly.”
- “My hair is beautiful: soft, shiny and long.”
- This list of strengths and evidence will be subjective, and unique.
Step 3. Write down the perfect definition you see
What do you consider perfect about your strengths? Think about your perfection and the perfection of your idol, and write a few sentences or make a list of things you think will make you perfect. What are the contents like? What accomplishments would make you perfect? What behaviors, attitudes, and values do you need to adopt?
- Avoid the words “always”, “never”, “should”, and “should” (e.g., “I have to speak in a polite tone of voice”). When unattainable, such words create unrealistic expectations and disappointment, guilt, and frustration.
- Your definition of the perfect woman applies to you alone, the important thing is not to be exactly like other women. It's just a tool to define the ideal version of yourself.
Step 4. Know your progress points
Make a list of aspects of yourself that are holding you back from being perfect. Every human being, even the “perfect” ones have some points that can be considered negative. Remember that perfection is created by a mixture of positive and negative.
Be careful if the woman you think is perfect is a celebrity or someone you only interact with through social media. Personal social media accounts are created only to reflect what the person in question wants to show. Photos can be edited and people usually only show the best parts of life that have been selected. Social media profiles are just a slice of real life and feature a distorted version of reality
Part 2 of 6: Developing Personality
Step 1. Expand your interests
Seek knowledge of another topic or field. Who knows you have a hidden talent. Ask local people or schools in your city about clubs or communities to engage with people who can encourage and teach you. It may turn out that you are good at cooking or skilled with wood. If you want, start doing what you've wanted to know for a long time but never had the chance. Perhaps you have a desire to develop a talent for photography or to read classic English literature.
- Devote some time of your day to these activities. Remember that the activity should be enjoyable. You'll have something to look forward to that isn't stressful.
- Not all interests require you to leave the house and spend money. Search the internet for documentaries or videos to watch.
Step 2. Show a positive perspective
Look for the positive aspects in every situation and in a person. Remember that "positive" does not necessarily mean "good". Learning outcomes from negative situations are "positive" aspects, but they don't make your situation "good". You can view things as negative and bad. However, people are attracted to those who display a positive attitude. Your cheerful attitude will rub off on others.
- Ask yourself, “What can I learn from this situation? How can I avoid this kind of result next time? What can I learn from here?”
- Once you form a negative opinion about a person, you will begin to notice a few things about him that will confirm that opinion and ignore all evidence to suggest otherwise. If you think unkind things about someone, immediately think of examples that dispel that negative opinion. Or, think of reasons that might make him behave this way. Maybe he's tired or hungry? Maybe he didn't understand the situation?
- Try to comfort other women. Because they want to be the “perfect woman”, it is easy to compete with other women. Don't get caught up in such pettiness and then try to sabotage other women, instead support them. To put it simply, if a coworker you don't like asks if you know a certain project deadline, don't sabotage him by giving him the wrong date. Or, if a woman asks you for a recipe for a dish you brought to the bazaar, don't intentionally omit the ingredients from the recipe or give a different proportion than the one you use. Support all women.
Step 3. Develop social skills
Whenever you interact with other people, think about what you are going to say and do. Make brief judgments about the consequences of certain actions. You have to practice putting yourself in situations that require social skills. Read other people's body language so you can judge them better. Read their emotions to understand how they are conveying them.
- Identify your progress by analyzing your own behavior. Are you having trouble maintaining eye contact? Do you speak too fast or do you sound too loud when you are nervous? Are you standing too close to the person you are talking to? Do you interrupt when other people are talking? Are you having a hard time saying no?
- Ask friends/family you trust to tell you what social skills you should cultivate, and ask them to tell the truth without hurting your feelings. Friends usually notice behavior that you are not aware of. Make sure the person you're asking is also good at socializing.
- Choose only one or two social skills at a time to focus on. After achieving significant progress, develop other skills.
- Consider asking your friend to role-play or practice in the mirror.
Step 4. Control your emotions
Learn to recognize the emotions you feel within yourself. Pay attention to how you feel during the day. If you feel irritated, angry, or any other negative emotion, try to identify the source of that emotion. Look into your mind. What do you think about the cause that gave rise to that feeling? Know that just because something is thought, doesn't necessarily mean it's true. Try not to express negative feelings to other people.
- If you feel like you're about to explode, take deep, calming breaths. Inhale slowly through your nose, exhale slowly through your mouth. If you can, get away for a while by leaving the room and finding a quiet place. If you can't go, try drinking a cold glass of water or sitting down. This will calm you down.
- Emotions are not always negative, wrong, or bad. Cultivate your emotions by sharing what's happening in your life in a journal or talking to a trusted person. Holding on to your emotions will only add to your stress and won't help solve the problem.
Part 3 of 6: Maintaining Relationships
Step 1. Keep promises
Remember that even if you say you're going to do something without adding the word "I promise," it's still a promise. If you've said you're going to do something, really try to do it. If it turns out that you can't, tell the person concerned ahead of time and apologize, giving reasons why you can't. This attitude shows that you are honest and trustworthy.
Set a reminder on your phone or agenda to keep track of whether you have an appointment. Estimate how long it will take to do this. Set a reminder before the deadline so you have enough time to gather the resources needed to work on it
Step 2. Try to be proactive
You should try to contact people first and stay in touch. Remember an upcoming event they told you about. Ask again about the event next time. In these busy times, people would really appreciate being contacted first. Use whatever method you prefer to stay in touch, but remember that hearing voices or meeting in person is different from interacting over the internet.
- Surprise your friends or family by calling them on the phone.
- Remember people's anniversaries and birthdays.
- Show deep gratitude to the person who has done something nice for you. Say thank you, send a gift, or try to return the favor.
- Set a schedule for calling family and friends who live far apart. This may not be possible every day or every week. So take time on the weekends to contact people who are not in your everyday life but are important to you.
Step 3. Avoid gossip
Speak nicely about the person behind their back. Don't complain about them, spread rumors or lies. If someone around you starts gossiping, immediately ask them to stop or redirect the conversation to another topic.
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- "Hey, come on, don't talk like that about him."
- "Let's talk about something else."
- “How is your project progressing?”
- This doesn't mean you shouldn't discuss negative events. You should only do it when it concerns you, has nothing to do with anyone, or if you are trying to understand what is going on.
Step 4. Be reliable and always there
Make time for family and friends. Make sure your work/school and social life is balanced. Set boundaries for yourself, set when you will do anything work-related and when you will be with family and friends. Keep the secrets entrusted to you, if anyone talks about it, pretend like you don't know anything.
Take the time to ask for the latest news in the lives of your close friends and family. Just as you need someone to lean on, you also need to be there for your loved ones
Part 4 of 6: Paying Attention to Physical Appearance
Step 1. Adopt an active lifestyle
Living the days being active will be of great benefit to both physically and mentally. An active lifestyle is the best way to stay in shape (rather than just doing the occasional strenuous activity). Aim for 30 minutes of aerobic exercise a day. Aerobic exercise will increase your heart rate and not be so heavy that you can't speak.
- You don't have to spend a lot of money to have a fit body. Exercising at the gym isn't the only way to be healthy, although it's a good option. Consider joining a sports team, or taking friends or family for a daily jog. Look for videos or fitness expert blogs you can follow.
- Make sure you check the qualifications of the “expert” you are following. Check the training, certifications and qualifications of the relevant experts on the website. You don't want to follow someone who is only pretending to be an expert because you could end up getting injured.
- If you're not used to an active lifestyle, you'll need time to build up your stamina. Continue!
Step 2. Develop your own style
Experiment with different hairstyles, makeup, and clothes than usual. Learn from idols. If your idol is a stylist or celebrity, take a look at what she's been up to lately.
- Look at makeup tutorials on the internet. Not only does makeup add natural beauty, it can also be used to create looks that highlight facial features you like, such as big eyes or a high nose.
- Stick to the budget. Don't overdo it and don't try to buy replicas of all the clothes that idols have. Consider buying "duplicates" of expensive brand cosmetics. You should only look to idols as inspiration. Fashion will keep changing, but your style will always be yours.
Step 3. Take care of your hair and skin regularly
Try different skin and hair masks to see what works best for you. Masks are usually made from ingredients that are readily available in your own kitchen. Look for information on the internet about what ingredients are suitable for your skin type and condition.
- Do a skin test even if you are using a homemade mask.
- In the long run, store-bought masks may be more economical, while homemade masks don't last as long. Buy skin care products that have been tested on human skin and made by a trusted company.
- See a licensed dermatologist if you have skin problems. A dermatologist can advise on what creams and products are best suited and outline the routine you need to follow.
Step 4. Improve posture
Make sure you sit with your back straight. When standing, straighten your chin, pull your shoulders down and back, straighten your back, and align your toes and heels. The spine should form a natural S-shaped arch. If this position hurts, you may be pushing yourself too hard or having back problems. If this is the case, see a doctor. If you have to lift something off the floor, lift it by bending your knees, not by bending over. This is to prevent back injuries. Do regular stretching exercises if your muscles are tense and making it difficult for you to improve your posture.
- Look in the mirror to help adjust your posture. Once you're in the correct position, try to remember what it's like so that when you're not in the mirror, you'll know how to adjust your posture.
- The way you carry yourself is an indication of how you feel about yourself and those around you.
- Correct posture will also help you improve and maintain your health and reduce the chances of fatigue.
Part 5 of 6: Achieving Ambition
Step 1. Identify your goal
Think about what you want to achieve in the long term. Consider your education, career, and family. Break your goal down into logical steps by thinking about the goals you need to achieve first in order to make progress. Apply this principle to all goals, breaking them down into more workable steps. This will help you measure your progress and prevent disappointment if you can't reach an otherwise unrealistic goal.
- If you are truly inspired by an idol and want to achieve something similar, read their bio. Watch what they achieve and how they achieve it. Some of this information may not be readily available so you will have to do your own research. For example, if you want to break into the cosmetics industry, you will have to find other methods to get in there. Consider contacting a local makeup artist or makeup designer for more guidance.
- Sometimes plans don't work out exactly the way we want them to because of an uncontrollable situation or because of some other inspiration. That's okay, find another way to get there. Make a contingency plan in case something goes wrong. If you've ever read the history of idols, you'll know that their life path wasn't always smooth.
- Consider setting aside a special time to draft a long-term plan.
Step 2. Gather resources
Make a list of what you need to achieve your goal. Calculate how many resources are needed. The amount of money spent depends on the scale of the goal. Study the budget and see if there are ways to reduce costs. Consider buying second hand or renting instead of buying. For example, if you are pursuing education while on a low budget, consider buying used books. If your goal is a large-scale, out-of-budget project such as setting up a bakery, consider seeking out a loan or seeking financial assistance from your family.
For tips and how others finance their projects or obtain resources, study the options available online or ask people who are trying to achieve the same goal. Try not to let a lack of resources get in your way
Step 3. Ask for help
Maybe some of the things you want to achieve are not within your range of experience. Ask others for help if you're having trouble reaching your goals or if you know they have knowledge you can use. They can show new ways and transfer those skills. For example, if you're trying to take an accounting exam but aren't sure how to properly study the material, ask someone who scored high on the exam for study tips.
- Consider asking close friends or outsiders for help. Look for people who are knowledgeable about your field.
- Don't forget to thank them and show it by doing something for them or replying in kind if they need it.
Step 4. Execute your plan
Start your plan now. Measure the progress. Since your goals are time-based, have a schedule so you don't get off track. Sometimes things you didn't consider will happen and plans are delayed. Don't use this as an excuse to give up. Procrastination does not mean there is no progress. Find a solution and include it in the plan. Remember that these goals will change you as well as your life.
Share your plans with trusted people. Ask them for support and moral encouragement
Part 6 of 6: Accepting Yourself
Step 1. Accept your flaws
Even the “perfect women” on your list have flaws. Weaknesses don't make you unlovable or worthless. On the other hand, you will always have the opportunity to grow. When you find flaws, look for ways to improve.
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Say the following positive affirmations every day before you leave the house:
- ‘I accept myself, I thrive by learning and educating myself, I accept myself as I am.’
- 'I agree, I work hard every day to achieve the goal, I agree with myself.'
Step 2. Forgive yourself
Remember that the past is behind you. If you've ever made a mistake, allow yourself to move forward. Past performance does not determine the future. If you recently did something that made you sad, start making up for it with better behavior that can calm your mind. This may be difficult because changing habits takes time.
Talk to other people about your feelings and what you're having a hard time letting go of. They can give you a different point of view and encourage you to move on with life
Step 3. Create a good support system
Associate with people who give you positive beliefs and encourage you to be better. Stay away from people who discourage you and always criticize. We may not be able to avoid negative people completely, but try to stop socializing with them and limit interactions at school or work.
If you are being bullied by someone you see every day, confront them and talk about the problem, or discuss it with a supervisor or trusted colleague and ask for advice on how to address the issue
Step 4. Be grateful for your strengths
Every night before going to bed, remember what you accomplished that day. Remember things big and small. An example of a small accomplishment is “I made my bed before leaving this morning”. There are accomplishments that may seem small, but require extra effort, such as "I don't yell back at my brother when he's rude."
Reward yourself for everything that goes well. For example, eat at your favorite restaurant if in the week you managed to do a lot of things well. Or, buy a new book if you are successful in your two-week exercise program
Step 5. Reflect on your life
As you strive to be perfect, think again about what you do each day and how much you've changed in a month, six months, or a year. Reflect on how you changed. Remember that your personality, goals, appearance, and relationships are not static. Everything will develop and pay off as you journey towards a better life.
Remember that your definition of perfect only applies to you. Along the way, you may be inspired by others to change one aspect of your life. That doesn't mean you're trying to be exactly like other women
Warning
- Everyone has their own body shape. If one of the "perfect women" you idolize has a different body shape, you won't be able to get a body like hers. Even if he has the same body shape as you, you will still look different. Focus on having a fit and healthy body, not being someone else's clone.
- Perfection is not a static quality, just as you are constantly changing. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, and sometimes your progress is slower than desired. Get up and move on.
