When it comes to owning something, feeling afraid of losing is one of the tendencies shared by any human being. Some attachments can have a positive impact and motivate you to show the best version of yourself, such as love and respect for those closest to you. However, if you're not careful, some forms of attachment can end up controlling your life and changing the way you think and act in a negative direction. To make life feel more balanced, try to train yourself to get rid of these attachments. In other words, don't let your emotions control your life and decisions, and prevent you from thinking clearly and making ideal decisions. Interested in doing it? Start by learning to focus on yourself, accept change, and build healthy relationships with others.
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Method 1 of 3: Practicing Meditation Skills and Other Soothing Habits
Step 1. Understand the concept of “unbound”
People who practice this concept actually understand that work, relationships, and goods are objects that are not permanent. As a result, they will focus on enjoying the "gift" instead of forcing themselves to hold on to it forever. If you are able to realize that nothing lasts forever in this world, it will help you to let go of everything without disappointment. In addition, you can enjoy life more fully and follow the movement of emotions without feeling held back by anything.
- For example, the fear of losing your job may make you too attached to your current profession. As a result, you always feel nervous when working because you are reluctant to fail. Or, you may be afraid of losing your partner so you often hold on to them too tightly or are reluctant to be yourself in their presence.
- Instead, accept the fact that there will always be things in your job or relationship that you have no control over. Then, do your best to make the most of all the experiences in your life.
Step 2. Meditate every day
Meditation trains you to focus on the present and let go of worries that haunt the past or the future. It's those thoughts that will pull you away from your innermost self! That's why you need to let it go by taking time each day to be alone in a quiet place. After that, try to meditate for at least ten minutes on the first try, then slowly increase the duration over time. Focus on your body and breathing patterns, and ignore external thoughts.
Download a meditation app like Headspace or Calm to guide the newbie
Step 3. Let go of your expectations
One of the fundamental aspects you need to learn is to free yourself from expectations. Expectations are generally a factor that triggers disappointment. If someone breaks their promise or breaks your trust, don't focus on the mistake. Instead, focus on actions you can take and let go of the person's control over your happiness.
For example, if a friend is late to pick you up for a party, don't rush into anger. Call him and let him know that you'll be traveling alone, or that you'll be busy with other activities while you wait
Step 4. Remain calm in any situation
Another principle you need to learn is emotional and mental control. If the situation is starting to irritate you, it means that expectations, ideas, someone, or something have bound you too tightly. When that happens, try to take some time to focus on your breathing. Take a break from the situation to calm yourself down, so that your reaction is no longer based on anger or sadness. Then, return to the situation when you feel calmer and more accepting.
Step 5. Live an ethical life
Keep your integrity to the best of your ability, no matter the situation. Often, a person even feels attached to things that are not appropriate. Therefore, learn to be honest with others, keep commitments, and not steal or hurt others. Focus on taking care of yourself for your sake, not someone else's.
Step 6. Read the relevant book
Look for books that will expand your knowledge, as well as train your ability to stop being attached to other people. The more things you know, the easier the process will be. Therefore, try reading books such as "A Path with Heart" by Jack Kornfield or "Unhindered: A Mindful Path Through the Five Hinderances" by Gil Fronsdal to help with your learning process.
Method 2 of 3: Accepting Changes
Step 1. Admit your ignorance
An important element in this exercise process is realizing that you don't have answers to all questions. For example, you may have recently ended a romantic relationship with someone. If a friend asks if you've managed to get over your ex, you're likely to pretend you agree or even pretend you have plans for a new relationship. In fact, the habit is not healthy! If you don't know how to move on, don't be afraid to admit it.
Step 2. Stay active even when situations in your life change
Has your best friend recently moved residence? Even though the sense of loss that appears is very large, keep trying to keep yourself busy! don't let the situation change or even stop the wheel of your life. Keep yourself busy by planning busy activities so you don't have to feel too lonely.
Step 3. Change your surroundings
Even though you can't control other people, you actually have complete control over yourself. If you recently pulled away from someone or something, try making the necessary changes. For example, get your hair cut or change the layout of the furniture in your home. Get rid of items you no longer need or get a new dog. In other words, do something new to shift your focus! Trust me, doing it will make you accustomed to, or even liking, the new life. As a result, it will be easier for you to get rid of attachments to someone or something.
Step 4. Find the cuteness in every moment
When the urge to bond resurfaces, try to find something funny to distract it. For example, search Twitter for funny memes, or call a close friend to improve your mood. If you want, you can also take advantage of this moment to make fun of yourself, you know!
Method 3 of 3: Maintaining Healthy Relationships
Step 1. Set boundaries in the relationship
Training yourself to be detached is actually different from isolating yourself completely from other people. Instead, you need to learn to value relationships with yourself as much as you value relationships with other people. Therefore, do not hesitate to set boundaries that must be respected by partners, relatives, and friends so that you still have a private space.
For example, maintain a healthy distance from other people. Don't keep calling your partner if they don't answer your phone. Instead, wait for him to call you
Step 2. Respect her privacy
Train yourself not to be tied down by maintaining each other's privacy. In other words, don't feel obligated to ask for or give each other's phone, email, or social media passwords. Keep a few things to yourself, except for information that the person really needs to know.
Step 3. Spend time without it
Don't feel the need to call or text her all day long. Enjoy your life! Every now and then, go out with the closest friends without him. Don't feel the need to be by your partner's or other's side all the time.
Step 4. Solve any problems that arise
If there's a problem between you and the person that you feel attached to, resolve it immediately. Find a time when neither of you are busy discussing the matter, and communicate the matter honestly and politely. Listen to his opinion and try to understand his perspective.
If not addressed immediately, the problem can build up inside you and further increase your attachment to it
Step 5. Compromise if it's hard to agree
Don't always force others to have the same perspective and views as you! Let go of your desire to always control their actions, and learn to compromise in order to find a solution that benefits both parties.
For example, if you want to spend more time with your partner when your partner feels otherwise, try compromising on the number of days a week that you can both agree to meet
Step 6. Allow the person to leave your side
Understand that you can't, and shouldn't, force other people to stay if they no longer want to. Even though the two of you are very close, you can't stop him from leaving if he wants something different. It's hard, but rest assured that you'll be fine after that. Therefore, never force others to stay by your side! Instead, convey your feelings calmly and let them go.
If your partner wants to end their relationship with you, tell them, "I really don't want to break up, okay? But I understand why, why do you want this. I'm sad that our relationship ended, but I hope your life will be better after this."
Step 7. Write down your thoughts in a journal
Before going to bed each night, try to take the time to write down what happened to you that day. Write down any difficulties or accomplishments you've had, or times when those feelings of attachment came back. Remember, focusing on the topic can help take your mind off other people!
