There is a difference between being defeated by others and feeling defeated by others. Instead of constantly imagining your defeats and mistakes, shift your focus to things you can improve next time. Remind yourself that even this defeat will pass. Try to leave what you can't change and show the best respect for the person or thing that beat you.
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Part 1 of 3: Letting Go
Step 1. Be aware of your feelings
Think about what you went through, then understand how you responded to that experience. If you are angry, ask yourself why you are angry. If you're disappointed, ask yourself what to expect. Before accepting or controlling feelings, you must first understand them.
- Think about how you feel when you win. Compare the two situations and consider what remains the same in the two situations.
- Consider putting your feelings in writing. Share your feelings with a friend or family member you trust. You probably know the best way to handle your own emotions. Do what you need to do to deal with the situation.
Step 2. Justify yourself
Tell yourself that no feeling is completely good or bad. Feelings are just feelings and you can take them for granted. Acknowledge yourself that it's okay to have feelings like that and it's completely normal.
Of course remember that while you may accept these feelings, it is not wise to follow certain feelings (such as anger or self-hatred) regarding their possible consequences
Step 3. Look at it from a wider perspective
You may not be able to prevent your defeat, but you can control how you react to it. Take a deep breath; try your best to stabilize yourself. Remind yourself that what happened already happened and you can't change it. With this attitude, you will be able to become a flexible person and able to adapt easily. You may also gain new abilities to deal with negativity and defeat in the future.
Step 4. Don't take it too seriously
This situation could be even worse. Consider whether there are lessons to be learned from this situation that you may not have seen. Look for the humorous side of your experience. Keep smiling even though it may seem difficult. You may find that the situation is funnier, more trivial, or more absurd when you distance yourself from the situation.
Step 5. Let go of the defeat
When you fail, your emotions can change your perspective. Avoid dwelling on what has happened. Don't let your defeat overpower you. You may feel very angry, very frustrated, very resentful; now, those feelings will only get stronger. Be aware of those feelings, catch them, and throw them away.
- You can move on by accepting defeat or by holding a grudge. By accepting defeat, you will release yourself from the defeat. By holding a grudge, you will be bound to the defeat.
- Release yourself from self-assessment. Accept that failure is just a normal part of life. People have and will always face defeat. What matters is your perspective on the loss.
Part 2 of 3: Be a Sporty Person
Step 1. Lose elegantly
Pay homage to whoever or whatever has beaten you. Greet your opponent and congratulate him on what he has won. Whether you lose in a debate, in a fight, or in a competition, lose with elegance and don't look childish. You can't change the outcome by being angry or cold towards the winner. Be as polite and elegant as possible.
Thank the winners for their time. Congratulations to him for their skills and victories. If you are someone who loses elegantly, the winner will feel uncomfortable bragging about his victory in front of you. The situation changed from two people fighting to become a moment between two people who respect each other and have just completed a fun hobby
Step 2. Don't judge yourself
If others are going to judge you for this defeat, so be it. You know who you are and you don't need to straighten out your defeats to someone who doesn't know your heart. Be the center of yourself. Losing elegantly is a greater victory than victory itself.
Others have a responsibility to invite everyone to participate. If they forget their role, neither should you. Be passionate about pursuing your own goals and hobbies
Step 3. Don't blame the other party
If you blame another person, group, or situation for your defeat, you will not accept what happened. If you blame yourself, you will feel very sad and miss the opportunity to grow from this experience. Accept this situation as it happened. What happened has happened and no matter how much you point the finger at yourself or someone else, your losing situation won't change.
Step 4. Focus your attention on the great skill of your opponent rather than your own defeat
Give them credit for a wise or effective move. That way, you also get an effective strategy from them and can look for weaknesses in their strategy.
Step 5. Admit that you were wrong
If you lose an debate, you can improve your reputation by admitting that you were wrong or lost. Consider apologizing and admitting or explaining your mistake. To you, it will be more embarrassing and childish to hold on to the wrong things than to admit that the other person is right.
- Consider that we all make mistakes and that there are many mistakes in our lives. All of these things are part of our development and most of them are things that make us mature.
- You will lose your good reputation if you approach this situation in a childish way. If you respond positively, others will feel that you can accept defeat and mistakes well.
Part 3 of 3: Next Steps
Step 1. Learn from this experience
If you think of defeat as an experience you can learn from, you will be able to get past what has happened and move forward in life. You may lose, but you don't have to be a loser all the time. If you get things done with a raised chin, introspect and learn from defeat, and move on with your life with a smile, you really haven't lost. you grow. You learn a valuable lesson. If you use this mindset every time you lose, you will feel that the next defeat will be easier. In the end, you too will feel that you have won in a different way, namely by developing yourself and getting the opportunity to learn.
- Let's just say that defeat plays a role in the course of your life. Ask yourself what this loss is for, what you can learn from it, and why you lost.
- Think about why you lost and if you could do something else. Ask yourself if you're unconsciously forcing yourself to fail because you're not sure about the goals you want to achieve.
Step 2. Learn from your mistakes
Think about what happened, then look for what you can learn. Analyze this situation objectively. Find out what you can realistically do to stop the same thing in the future and make sure you can do it. Focus your attention on the future.
The more you focus on your next wins, the less you will think about your previous losses. Not all winners win their first game. If you don't accept defeat gracefully, you will act violently. People will see that you can't accept defeat like an adult
Step 3. Continue what you were doing
Whatever the reason for your defeat, make sure you are not held back by the loss. Everyone will lose in their life, including (and maybe especially) the people who win. You won't improve if you don't keep trying and you might regret it if you don't continue what you were doing because of this one defeat.
Tips
- Once you stop feeling lost personally, you may be able to deal with the loss more easily. Overcome defeat with positive thoughts.
- Connect the loss to your situation and not to the other person. Your goal is to win a competition and not "beat" someone else. If you have a lot of opponents, your goal should be this game. This approach may change your view of the word "lose."
