Are you often asked to be quiet? Do you often speak without thinking and end up regretting what you said? Do you feel like there are so many voices in your head and you want to know how to turn them off? Well, the good news is that anyone can be silent--all it takes is time and patience. If you want to know how to be silent, follow these steps.
Step
Part 1 of 2: Silence During Conversation
Step 1. Think before you speak
People who talk a lot do not have this important skill. So the next time you're in a situation where you really want to say something, stop for a moment, don't rush, ask yourself if what you're about to say will really help improve the situation. Are you going to give people the information they need, make them laugh, or say comforting words, or are you going to say something just to be heard? If after reflection it turns out that what you are about to say is not useful for anyone, hold your words.
One rule to follow when you are about to start talking is to say one of two things that are on your mind. When you're trying not to talk too much, you can say one of three things you want to say, or one of four things
Step 2. Don't interrupt
Never interrupt someone while they're talking unless you think it's really important what you're about to say (to be honest – when did what you say mattered?). Interrupting someone's conversation is not only impolite, it will interrupt the flow of the conversation and will make you seem like a big-mouthed person. If you really want to make a comment or ask a question, take notes first and wait for the other person to finish speaking so you can see if what you're about to say is still relevant.
You'll be surprised how many of your questions will be answered if you give the other person a chance to talk
Step 3. Ask questions instead of talking about yourself
If you're trying not to talk too much, then you like to keep talking about yourself or the things that really interest you instead of giving other people a chance to share their ideas. Well, the next time you're in a conversation and it's your turn to talk, ask questions to get information about the topic you're discussing, or find out more about them, from their hobbies to what they do for fun.
Don't act like you're interrogating someone else or asking questions that make the other person uncomfortable. Keep the conversation relaxed, friendly, and polite
Step 4. Count down from ten before you say something
If you think of a particularly extraordinary comment, try to be silent for ten seconds. Count down from ten to see if the idea suddenly sounds less appealing, or give someone else a chance to come up with the same idea so you don't have to say what you want to say. This method is also very helpful if you are angry, irritated, or want to complain. Calming yourself down for a while can prevent you from saying something you'll regret.
When you're good at it, you can even count backwards from five. It doesn't even take too long to help you weigh whether you should stay still or not
Step 5. Listen carefully
If you want to talk less, you have to be a good listener. When someone is talking to you, make eye contact, pick up on important points, try to guess what's behind that person's speech to understand what he or she is really saying and how he really feels. Let the person talk, stay patient, and don't let your attention be distracted like you're busy opening an SMS.
- Ask questions that help the person explain their ideas more, but don't ask off-topic questions, which could confuse them.
- The more you try to be a good listener, the less tempted you will be to talk all the time.
Step 6. Stop complaining
You probably spend a lot of time talking about everything that annoyed you that day. You may be prompted to talk about the traffic jam you had that morning, the disgusting email from a friend, or how you can't stand the cold this winter. But really, what does the vomit of verbal words mean? If complaining about things you can't change makes you feel better, write them down in your journal. Your complaint doesn't need to be announced, right?
If you do have a problem and need to talk about it, that's okay; what is meant here is a matter of complaining solely for the sake of complaining
Step 7. Focus your attention on the breath
If you're really upset and want to start talking for no reason, focus primarily on your breath. Count the number of times you inhale and exhale then try to breathe deeply. Stop pacing, listen to what's going on around you, and focus on your thoughts and feelings, instead of focusing on what you really want to say.
This technique can calm you down and will make you see that talking isn't really that important
Step 8. Take time to digest what you hear
You may be one of those people who react immediately to something you hear and want to immediately express what you are thinking/questioning/dreaming about, but this is not the best way to handle a situation. If you take the time to digest what's going on and actually make up the question or comment, you can talk less and ask or say something more precisely.
This will give you time to structure your own words and sentences and won't immediately throw in another "addition" that is unpleasant to others
Part 2 of 2: Less Talking All Day
Step 1. Find a hobby that requires you to be quiet
Practicing silence when you're alone can help you be more reserved when you're around people. There is one way to practice silence, which is to find a hobby that requires you to be quiet and especially one that you can do alone. Try painting, creative writing, yoga, songwriting, stamp collecting, bird watching, or anything else that requires you to be quiet and not say whatever you're thinking.
- Reading also really helps you to be quiet while digesting the words that are in front of you.
- Try for at least an hour you don't say anything while doing a hobby. Then add to two hours. Then three hours. Just imagine, what if all day you don't say a word?
Step 2. Channel your energy in other ways
You may talk a lot – some say you talk too much – because you feel overloaded with energy and don't know how to channel it. Therefore, find other channels to express everything on your mind that can help get rid of all the stuff that is stuck in your head.
Exercise – especially running – can help you do physical exercise while also channeling excess energy. Likewise with long walks or cooking. Find any activity that suits you
Step 3. Resist the temptation to chat online
Chatting online just fills your life with fanfare and most of what you say really doesn't really matter. If you really want to have a conversation with your friend, call or meet him in person instead of constantly typing on the computer, right? The next time you feel the urge to chat online to find out what your 28th friend is up to, turn off the computer and go for a walk.
Step 4. Take a break from social media
Instead, take a break and don't look at Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and other social media that you access frequently. The sites are filled with fanfare, people trying to impress others, and useless words that might prompt you to respond. If you're very addicted, spend 10-15 minutes of your entire day looking at social media instead of spending time checking those sites every chance you get.
Wouldn't it be better for you to hear what your best friend says in person than to listen to what a complete stranger has to say to a lot of people? Focus on what really matters, not on other unimportant voices
Step 5. Keep a diary
Build the habit of keeping a diary at the end of the day or weekend. This habit will help you jot down the thoughts that come to you, help you stay still, and spill what's in your chest without telling your fifteen best friends. You can write down what happened during the day, which will encourage you to ask more questions and write down the deeper things in your mind.
You'll be amazed to find that you're becoming more reserved if you write a page in your diary each day
Step 6. Meditation
Meditation is a very helpful way to calm your mind, keep your body healthy, and calm you down. Take 10-20 minutes each morning to sit in a comfortable, quiet place. Close your eyes and focus on the breath in and out of your body. Focus on one body part at a time and pay attention to what you hear, smell, touch, and feel as you sit there. Get rid of serious thoughts, just focus on the moment and be grateful for the quiet, and you're halfway there to having a more focused and restful day.
Meditation can help you avoid feeling overwhelmed because it gives you more control over your mind and body
Step 7. Enjoy the natural surroundings
Take a walk. Go to the beach. Look at the beautiful plants in the garden on the other side of the city. Enjoy the weekend by going to the forest. Do whatever can bring you closer to nature. You will marvel at the beauty and power of something far more permanent than you and you will feel the disappearance of all your doubts and words. It's hard to go on and on about what you think will show up on your math exam when you're standing at the foot of a beautiful mountain that's been around for a long time.
Include time to enjoy nature in your regular schedule every week. You can take a diary with you while enjoying nature and write down your thoughts at the time
Step 8. Turn off the music
Yes, music can refresh the atmosphere while you are studying, jogging, or during your commute from work. However, music can create a buzz that makes you feel more talkative, frantic, and excited. You can play classical or jazz music, but loud music with catchy lyrics can create a noise that will jump around in your head and keep you from calming down and controlling your day.
Step 9. Don't rush
If you're by nature a hotheaded, talkative person, then you can't be a Silent Miss overnight. But if you try not to talk too much every day, engage in hobbies and activities that make you more reserved, and focus on being a good listener instead of talking too much, you can become a quiet person faster than you think. So sit back, be patient, and enjoy the feeling of dissipating the noise in your head -- and from your vocal cords.
