Teaching the values of life to your children can be challenging. If you want to be successful, you need to stand firm as a moral leader and include your child in the conversation about the issue. There are also some activities and challenges you can give them to help instill the right values.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Part One: Leading by Example
Step 1. Do what is said
One of the most important things to do is to demonstrate the values you are trying to teach in everyday life. Children see adults as role models in their lives, and the earliest lessons about developing life values usually take place through the process of imitation.
- If you say one thing but do another, your child may be confused by the cues.
- For example, if you want your child to learn about cooperation and affection, you might be able to encourage them to share the toys they have. If they see you taking something that belongs to someone else or refuse to share your belongings when needed, however, they will easily doubt the importance of those values.
Step 2. Tell stories from your past
Talk about what life was like to you when you were the same age as your child today. Discuss the difficulties and successes you had in developing your current value system.
- Make sure the stories you tell are true and avoid overly detailed.
- For example, try telling your child when you were tempted to cheat on a school assignment. If you choose not to, explain why, and emphasize that your honesty is a positive influence. If you decide to cheat, explain the negative external and internal consequences that will occur.
Step 3. Show them the essence of your belief system
If your values stem from a belief in God, for example, teach that belief to your child. It is important for them to understand where these values come from when studying the importance of their values.
It can be very beneficial to show your child a community that holds the same values, such as the church. Doing so can provide them with even more role models
Step 4. Try to find out who else is an example
You shouldn't – and shouldn't – completely hide your child from outside influence. However, you should be aware of outside influences that play a role in your child's development. Whether it's right or wrong values can be taught by outsiders.
- Other parties who play a major role in influencing your child are siblings, teachers, coaches, friends and also relatives of friends.
- Ask about the beliefs and values these people hold.
- You don't need to completely forbid your child from interacting with other people who have different values, but talk to your child after he or she has spent time with that person to make sure the negative influence doesn't stick with your child.
Step 5. Teach a sense of responsibility through discipline
When your child breaks the rules or ignores the values you have set, show that the behavior is inappropriate by providing appropriate punishment for the bad behavior.
The consequences given must match the error. For example, taking the last piece of cake from someone in the family is a lighter offense than cheating on a school exam, so the penalty for the first case above should be lighter than cheating
Step 6. Take some time
Children will not be able to learn values from you if you ignore them. Spending time with them shows how important it is to care for others, and it also provides an opportunity for them to learn from your actions.
Often, children from a young age behave inappropriately in order to get attention. If you show that good behavior gets as much attention as negative behavior, if not, positive behavior will appear more attractive
Step 7. Stay supportive
Growing up is hard. There are many problems your child will find as they develop, and they are bound to make some mistakes. Let them know they have unconditional love from you so they can feel comfortable turning to your advice as they grapple with issues of right and wrong.
Method 2 of 3: Part Two: Talking About Values in Life
Step 1. Ask encouraging questions
When you talk to your child about values, ask questions to get them to think about them. Avoid telling them everything. Learning will be stronger if they are allowed to find their own conclusions.
- For example, instead of saying "He shouldn't have lied to his friend like that", ask "Do you think he made a mistake?" or “How do you think he should handle the situation?”
- Ask your children a question that can spark a conversation about values. It also forces them to think about some important things, and the conclusions they come to themselves will last much longer than the conclusions that are given to them.
Step 2. Listen and prompt some questions
Listen to your children's doubts, worries, struggles and questions, Stay firm, but also keep an open mind. Questions are a good signal that children are thinking about the matter seriously.
If your child questions a value you taught early on, try to remain patient and calm. Screaming at him will only make your child want to rebel, even worse. Discussing the matter calmly can make it easier for your child to accept that you are right
Step 3. Speak, don't preach
You need to play the role of an authority figure, but at the same time, you also want to talk about these values in a comfortable and relaxed atmosphere to make them feel comfortable. Most people – especially children – are more receptive to information shared in a conversation than information from a speech.
- When your child makes a mistake, briefly explain what went wrong and provide a reasonable punishment. Don't start lecturing about why it's wrong to act even when everyone else is angry and upset.
- Instead, wait until you and your child have calmed down. Instead of dwelling on disappointments, talk about the expectations you have for your child and how you would like to see them display those values in the future.
Step 4. Discuss your expectations
Many values are personal and need to be developed internally, but you can set expectations and the rules that govern those values are visible. Set these expectations fairly and make sure that your child understands them clearly.
The desire to please parents by meeting their expectations is quite instinctive. If you set high expectations that include meaningful values, your child will most likely strive to live up to those expectations
Step 5. Get used to talking often
The more you talk about the beliefs and values you want to pass on, the more natural those values will seem. Frequent conversation is a good way to keep the topic in their mind more consistently.
These conversations that occur are especially important when your child is behaving well or behaving in a neutral manner. If you only talk about values when he behaves inappropriately, this topic will easily come off as negative
Step 6. Speak with feelings
Let your child know that you love them. Tell them every day. When children know they are loved, it will be easier for them to understand the expectations and values you are teaching for their good.
Showing love is very important, even if you are constantly showing love to your children, make it a habit to say words of love to them regularly
Method 3 of 3: Part Three: Use Daily Activities
Step 1. Read the right book
Morals and values can be conveyed through old stories. Read to your child books that convey the type of values you are trying to instill.
- At a young age, fairy tales can be the right choice.
- When children are still developing, the best books are those that clearly define the boundaries of right and wrong.
- Books that deal with morally "grey" topics should be kept until teenagers have a strong moral foundation.
- Regardless of what the book is, the best way is to read it together or understand the book clearly before your child reads it. Doing this can make it easier for you to discuss the content of the book and any questions that may arise regarding values.
Step 2. Be selective about media choices
Limit the types of movies, television shows and games your child is allowed to watch. It can also be a wise idea to limit the amount of time your child is allowed to spend with these entertainments.
- In fact, positive media resources are of no value compared to active learning opportunities. Children learn more through personal experience than passive observation.
- Make sure all the media that your child sees shows positive moral values, especially when the child is under 7 or 8 years old. Research shows that children who watch such shows have more respect than those who regularly watch violent material.
- Limiting controversial material when the child is in his teens should be done with some care. It is better to discuss the reasons why the behavior or content of the show is not good than to simply ban them from watching without further explanation.
Step 3. Volunteer
Encourage your child to do community service and other volunteer work. Better yet, volunteer with them and make it a family affair.
- On the other hand, volunteer work can increase humility, responsibility, and compassion.
- One idea that can be done is to help an elderly neighbor. Invite your child to mow the neighbor's lawn or deliver homemade food with them.
Step 4. Assign tasks
One of the most basic and classic ways to build values in your child is to give them daily and weekly assignments. Be sure about your child's task responsibilities and how much pocket money he will receive in return if they complete them diligently and on time.
Assignments teach children about the importance of responsibility and the benefits of working hard
Step 5. Sign up to join a team
Encourage your child to join an exercise group. If he's not interested in sports, find a group in another appropriate activity to join, such as a debate group, yearbook committee, or small group.
Teamwork is the most obvious value taught this way, but joining a group also encourages children to learn about values such as dedication, responsibility and humility
Step 6. Make notes of your own work
Sit down with your child and make notes for your loved ones from scratch. This note can be a "thank you" note, a holiday card, or a "I'm thinking about you" card.
- The "Thank You" card teaches gratitude.
- Holiday cards and “I'm thinking of you” teach thinking and kindness.
- By making these cards yourself, you too can teach creativity
Step 7. Encourage your child to take on challenges
Challenges are an inseparable part of life. Encouraging your child to face manageable challenges when they are young can instill the values and ethics they will need to have in the face of uncontrollable challenges in their teens and adults.
- Consider gardening with your child. Gardening can be a challenging task, but it can teach your child about perseverance. If you grow edible plants, you can also teach your child independence.
- In a more general sense, you can invite your child to do things that are not easy. Invite a shy child to approach new friends at the playground. Encourage an emotional child to calm down rather than throw a tantrum when something isn't going the way it should. When your child succeeds in doing something that is difficult for them, praise them.
Step 8. Train children to make judgments
Always look for ways to encourage your child to think about the circumstances and feelings of those around him. When learning empathy, many values can be developed and strengthened.
- At a young age, you can flip through magazines with your child and ask him to identify emotions based on the pictures.
- At any age, you can play the “buddy game” with your child. Place the names of everyone in the family in a hat. On the first day, everyone has to pick a name, and throughout the rest of the day, everyone has to figure out how to do a favor to the friend whose name he or she picked from the hat at random.
