Whining is a common behavior in children, and can be very upsetting. Most children whine when they are tired, hungry, or angry; they also whine to get attention or get something they want. Once you understand the reason behind your child's whining, it will be easier for you to change the habit. Are you ready to end that annoying habit? Start with Step 1.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Part 1: Taking Precautions
Step 1. Change the way you view your child's behavior
Most children don't whine with the intent to annoy or upset you. They may feel tired, hungry, stressed, uncomfortable, or they just want attention. Stopping to think if you were in your child's shoes can help you understand the cause of his whining, then you'll be able to take preventative action.
Step 2. Make sure your child gets plenty of rest
Fatigue can lead to a number of unwanted behaviors, including whining. Try to get your child to get an adequate amount of sleep each night, and consider an earlier bedtime if you notice him whining and fussing a lot. If your child is preschooler or younger, make sure he or she takes a nap; if your child is in elementary school, give him the opportunity to rest and relax after school.
Each child's sleep needs vary, but in general, children aged one to three years need a total of twelve to fourteen hours of sleep a day (including naps). Three to six year olds need ten to twelve hours of sleep a day, and seven to twelve years old still need ten to eleven hours of sleep
Step 3. Overcome the child's hunger
Hunger makes children uncomfortable and cranky, and it tends to trigger bad behavior like whining. Many children need small, nutritious snacks between meals, so don't expect them to last from lunch to night without something to eat. For best results, give a combination of protein, whole grains, and natural food products: whole-wheat crackers with peanut butter and banana, for example.
Step 4. Explain your expectations to your child first
Children tend to whine when you tell them to do something they don't want to do. Minimize this problem by warning the child in advance, rather than suddenly saying something uncomfortable to the child. Say, “We have to leave the playground in ten minutes” or “You should get ready for bed after one more story.” When a child knows what is expected of him, he will generally adjust better.
Step 5. Avoid boredom
Children often have difficulty tolerating boredom; they then whine because they want attention and don't know how to deal with boredom. If your child likes to whine, try offering him lots of age-appropriate activities. Whenever possible, some of the child's activities should be done outdoors, where the child can burn off excess energy more easily.
If you notice problems related to boredom, whining, and reduced attention span, consider eliminating (or at least minimizing) the time your child spends in front of the television or playing with electronic devices. These activities can grab a child's attention and avoid whining in the short term, but can make the problem worse in the long run, in the end the child can't keep himself busy without cartoons or video games
Step 6. Pay lots of attention to the child
When children feel neglected, they often whine for your attention. You may be able to prevent this by spending quality time with your child, even if it's just a little, a day. Parents are so busy that this can be difficult at times, but try:
- Sitting with the kids and chatting over breakfast
- Pause to admire a child's drawing, crafted tower, or other creative project.
- Take a ten-minute break from whatever you're working on to read fairy tales to children
- Ask your child who is in preschool or elementary school to tell us about his day at school
- Set aside an hour before bed for quality family time and have a bedtime routine
Step 7. Give your child a specific task in a public place
Whining can often seem very annoying when you have to take the kids to go take care of your business. Children perceive banks, shops, and supermarkets as boring places (or perhaps as opportunities to beg you to buy something). Avoid whining and other bad behavior by giving him something he can do-for example, to help you find items on your shopping list.
Method 2 of 3: Part 2: Interrupting Children's Whinings with Cuteness and Silliness
Step 1. Recognize that the silly approach is sometimes more successful than the hard approach
If your preventative measures don't work, and your child starts to whine, consider trying a lighter approach-especially with younger children. Little cuteness and silliness can sometimes get a child out of a fussy, whining mood.
Step 2. Show funny facial expressions
Children, especially toddlers and preschoolers, can sometimes be persuaded to laugh with funny facial expressions. If your child is whining, and you feel the urge to confront him and get angry or yell, try confronting him and putting on a silly facial expression. Maybe you can stop his whining in the middle and get him to start bursting out laughing.
Step 3. Imitate your child's whining
Surprise a whining child by imitating his behavior by whining yourself. You can amplify the comedic effect: “Why are youeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeful? Mommy tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit likes iteeeeeeeee!” It is intended for two purposes. First, it can make a child laugh and therefore interrupt his whining. Second, it will let your child know how his whining sounds – younger children may not fully realize how annoying his whining sounds can be and make no sense to other people.
Step 4. Record your child's whining
Like imitating a child, recording their whining can let them know how annoying the sound is. Use your cell phone or recording device, and record the whimper, then play it back to your child.
Step 5. Speak in a whisper
When your child whines and complains, respond in a very low whisper. Your child has to stop whining, at least temporarily, so he can hear what you're saying, and he may start whispering too. For younger children, this can be a silly way to interrupt whining and change her mood.
Step 6. Pretend you don't understand the child
Ask the child to repeat the request in a different tone or in full sentences. Repeat for dramatic effect: “Ooh, I still don't get it! I wish I could understand what you're saying! Try again, will you? What did you say?"
Method 3 of 3: Part 3: Using Discipline to Break the Habit of Whining
Step 1. Explain that whining is not allowed
After a child enters elementary school, usually he should be able to control unpleasant behavior such as whining. Explain that you don't allow him to whine at all, and tell him that when he does, you won't give him what he wants.
Step 2. Discuss acceptable forms of communication
Make sure your child knows that you will listen to their requests and that you enjoy talking to them. However, explain that the discussion should take place in a normal voice, and at a normal volume.
Step 3. Present the request with a calm and firm whine
Say "I know you're annoyed, but…" and explain why you can't do what your child asks you to do. You can justify your child's frustration, but don't give in to continuing the discussion while he's still complaining.
Step 4. Tell the child to enter his room
When your child's whining continues, explain that you won't hear them. Have the child go into his room until he is calm and can talk normally.
Step 5. Consider adopting a child
If your child's whining has become a major problem in your home, let your child know that he or she will be given a warning and then an accomplice if they do. Then follow the rules. When your child whines, give a clear and firm warning: “You are now whining. Speak in a normal voice, or you will be caught.” If his whining continues, give him a strap.
A general rule of thumb is that it must last one minute for each year the child is aged. In other words, a five year old will be absorbed for five minutes
Step 6. Don't give in to your child's whims prompted by whining
Children shouldn't be rewarded for whining, so whatever the request is, refuse it. Apply a sling or some other form of punishment for persistent whining, otherwise ignore it. Don't reward your child's bad behavior by giving them undue attention.
Step 7. Stay calm
If you are angry, your child will know that he can provoke you by whining. So keep your cool.
Step 8. Reward positive behavior
Praise your child's efforts to stop whining. Consider celebrating a “no whining day” at home, and offer a reward if your child makes it through the day without whining. Make this celebration a light and fun family event.
Step 9. Be consistent in your attitude
Children will not stop whining just like that. You have to be firm and consistent, and over time, this bad behavior will lessen.
Tips
- Whining can be very distracting, but as with any parenting problem, it's best to stay calm and relaxed. Understand that most children will whine from time to time. Solve the problem as best you can, but don't turn it into a big battle.
- Make sure that your partner in parenting applies the same rules. Once you've decided to treat your child's whining in a certain way, make sure your husband, wife, and nanny do the same. Your efforts will be in vain if, for example, your partner gives your child a candy bar every time he or she whines for it.
