Every human being, regardless of race, gender, or any other characteristic, has the amazing capacity to realize one's potential: to feel confident, happy, and full. While this task is not easy, there are some concrete steps and changes you can take to do it.
Step
Part 1 of 5: Thinking About Yourself
Step 1. Define your core values
To realize your full potential, you must know and live your life based on your core values. These are all things that shape how you see yourself, others, and the world around you. Studies show that you will find life more meaningful and feel healthier in general if your life is full of value or in line with what is most important to you. Ask yourself a few questions to get started:
- Think of two people you really admire. What do you admire about them? Why do they inspire? How can you manifest these things in your life?
- Think of a time in your life when you felt very satisfied or full. When? Why do you feel it?
- If you could change one thing in a community, what would it be? Why?
- If your home caught fire (and your family and pets were all safe), what three things would you try to save? Why?
Step 2. Check your response to certain themes
After answering all of the questions above, check the responses to see if any themes or patterns emerge. For example, you may greatly admire your mother's selflessness and empathy and your sibling's work ethic. You might save family photos, wedding dresses, and certain things. This shows that one of your values is about relationships, especially with your family.
These values are yours, and no value is superior or inferior to any other. Some people may find a competitive attitude more valuable, while others prefer collaboration. There is nothing wrong with any of these values
Step 3. Identify areas that are inconsistent with self-values
If you don't feel ready to live to fulfill your true potential, it may be because the parts of your life right now are not value-congruent. For example, you may have been brought up to be humble and not acknowledge your accomplishments, but perhaps your core value is recognition. You won't feel capable of fulfilling your true potential if you don't acknowledge accomplishment, and if you don't, other people will too. Think about the areas in your life that don't match your values, and see if these areas you would like to change.
Step 4. Determine what will happen when you reach your full potential
Once you've thought about your core values and areas in your life that you can improve on, take a moment to imagine a time when you've fulfilled your full potential. Does it speak of personal improvement? Success in your career (or even a new one)? In terms of relationships? If you've identified areas in your life that aren't congruent with your self-worth, it's time to start.
- For example, you may really value family, but your job takes up so much time that you can't spend quality time with the people you love and need. Understanding your full potential in this case may mean you have to find a less stressful job so you can become the partner/parent/friend you should be.
- Or, you may feel stuck at a mid-level job with no hope of career advancement, even though ambition is a core value in you. If this is the case, realizing your potential may mean you have to change careers to do something that will enable you to challenge yourself and grow in new ways.
Step 5. Imagine the type of person you will be in the future
Reflect on what it means to fully understand your potential. Does it speak of certain circumstances? Or reach a certain level of income? Mastering how to play the violin? Most people will have a different definition of potency. You must have a sense of potential that is meaningful to yourself. The Best Possible Self is a research-backed exercise to determine what is most important to yourself.
- Start by imagining that you have been given the power to achieve your deepest hopes and dreams for the future. How will your life be in the future? What are you doing? Who is with you? How do you feel? Imagine as many details as possible. For example, if you see someone who has just opened a bakery, think about your own business: where is it located, how many employees it has, how people think of your business, and what it's like to be your own boss.
- Check your character's strengths as well as the skills that your future self will use to hit the target. For example, if you own a bakery, you may be great at business, good at handling people, have a strong work ethic, can cook, etc.
- Think about which of your strengths and abilities you already have, and which you still need to develop further. For example, you may already be a good cook and want to work hard, but you don't know how to start a small business.
- Determine how you can develop the areas you have identified. In this example, you could do this by reading books about business, talking to other small business owners, and searching online for guidance.
- You may change your mind as you learn more about yourself. Take a step back and ask yourself why you like the version of yourself to your full potential that you envision, and whether that version is achievable in theory. If you don't consider it, you may miss out on the opportunity to redefine your potential and all the happiness and meaning that may come when you do.
Step 6. Be patient and be kind to yourself
Reaching your full potential takes time and effort. More importantly, you must love yourself. Acknowledge your strengths and abilities, as well as the areas you need to grow. Appreciate the effort you make each day to reach your full potential.
Part 2 of 5: Overcoming Common Mind Traps
Step 1. Recognize and challenge generalizations
Generalization occurs when you take one experience and generalize it to the rest of the world. This can prevent you from realizing your true potential: when you generalize, you'll think you're not someone who made a mistake, but a "failure." How can you feel motivated to realize your true potential when you feel this way?
- For example, you might try to find the next big technology and have no luck. You've tried 7 experiments and they all failed. You can generalize about this incident and say, "I'll never make it because I'm a loser."
- A better way to deal with it is to think, “This experiment didn't work. It's okay, I now have more information about what won't work, so I can try something else that might work.” You are not a failure. You are someone who learns from his mistakes in order to continue to grow.
Step 2. Identify and challenge mental filters
Mind traps like these can hold you back by blurring your focus. When you filter out the positives, you focus only on the negative.
- For example, you might get comments on your essay assignment. This comment is 70% positive, but you can only focus on the three things the teacher said should be corrected and ignore the rest.
- Challenge yourself to see the situation as a stranger. Try to list the facts of the situation as objectively as possible. In this case, remind yourself: “Out of the ten comments the teacher gave, seven were commendable. Three things to practice I can learn. These negative comments don't cancel out the positives.”
Step 3. Beware of “all or nothing” thinking
This kind of thinking usually makes you unable to achieve something, because achievement is not an instant thing. When you think like this, you are not providing a compromise point. You must try to be perfect or you have failed.
- For example, if you want to master the violin, the “all or nothing” thinking won't accept imperfection. You can't celebrate growth when you get better at playing a piece; but you will be judged based on the mistakes you make along the way.
- Instead of developing this kind of thinking, remind yourself that perfection is an unrealistic standard that no one can meet. Negative experiences or mistakes won't make your progress go away. Extend this generosity to yourself and others.
Step 4. Avoid taking anything as a disaster
This is another mind trap that can prevent you from realizing your potential. When we do, we allow the mind to spin uncontrollably. We will hope that the worst will happen. In this way, we will be so afraid that we are vulnerable and cannot succeed.
- For example, realizing your true potential may mean you have to leave a relationship that isn't making you happy. However, you might be thinking, what if you'll never find anyone else to love? You'll fear ending up living alone and unhappy, or "I'll end up being eaten by my cats when I die alone in my apartment, never being visited by anyone."
- One way to overcome this catastrophic thinking is to oblige yourself to find evidence for every “jump” you make. Do you really think you'll never find someone else to love? No. There are billions of other people in the world, so it's likely that one of them will make you happy. Is it true that you have to live alone and end up being eaten by cats? No. Many people live alone but still have a pleasant and whole social life.
Step 5. Stop "obliging" yourself
This mind trap can make you feel as though you have to live by other people's standards. This kind of thinking can also prevent you from fulfilling your potential, because you will be basing your actions on what you think you “should” do instead of the right thing.
- For example, you may be told that you "must" have children at a certain age. You can feel like a failure if you have passed that age and have not had children. But consider: do you really want to have children, or do you already have? Or, are you allowing what “should” happen to make you feel uncomfortable? As long as you live by personal values, other people's "duties" don't matter.
- When you start thinking about things that involve necessity/obligation, think about where it comes from. For example, if you're thinking, "I can't eat those cookies today because I need to lose weight," say: do you think you should lose weight because your doctor advised you to be healthier? Or do you feel pressured by society's standards? If the answer is the former, reframe it as something positive “I'm not going to eat that cookie today because I'm trying to be healthier”. If the second answer, be kind to yourself: "I will eat that cookie because I love myself for who I am, and I don't need to live up to other people's expectations."
Part 3 of 5: Realizing Goals
Step 1. Create a list of targets
Once you've envisioned yourself in the future, it's time to determine how to become that person. You will be greatly helped in accomplishing this formidable task by breaking it down into more digestible, attainable, and concrete parts. The trick is to set personal goals to make sure they are meaningful and can be broken down into achievable things.
- For example, if realizing one's potential means mastering the ability to play the violin, this is a big goal. You have to break it down even more into goals (actions you can perform) and tasks (small, specific things to do) in order to achieve them.
- So if your goal is to master the violin, your objective could be to study vibrato, the work of various composers, and take lessons.
- By breaking them down, you can define various tasks for yourself. This solution could include tasks such as finding a violin teacher in your area, determining how to pay for lessons, buying a violin, etc.
Step 2. Determine the target based on the level of importance
Determine which targets are most important. Which one would you be most interested in achieving? Which is achievable based on current time, financial circumstances and/or other resources? Focus on improving one or two areas to help keep you from feeling exhausted. When you're exhausted, you may be tempted to leave your goals because you think they're unattainable.
- For example, if mastering the violin means that you have to reach your goal of learning vibrato, all of Vivaldi's songs, and how to tune the violin, you might consider tuning the violin as the most important thing, and then learning vibrato, then all of Vivaldi's songs.
- In some cases, certain goals are required before you can achieve others. Since Vivaldi's songs take advantage of the vibrato skill, you must master it before you can play Vivaldi.
- When you start, make sure you write down a goal as a priority, which is easy to achieve so that you can be successful quickly and help to stay motivated.
- For example, you could learn how to tune the violin first, as this is easier to accomplish than learning a Vivaldi song, and will help you learn and play the violin more deeply (the violin must of course be properly tuned for you to practice.).
Step 3. List achievable targets
After organizing your list of goals according to their importance, pick the two to three most important and create a daily to-do list to help you gradually achieve them. An example of a goal is to practice vibrato and learn Vivaldi's songs.
- Make sure you don't chase too many goals at once, or they will all come into conflict with each other as you try to reach them. You may also become less and less productive.
- Break these targets down into smaller tasks. A task is a specific little thing that you can do to achieve a goal. For example, your task might be to practice vibrato for 15 minutes a day, or Vivaldi's 10 bars for 30 minutes/day until you feel like you've mastered it and move on to the next 10 bars.
Step 4. Reach all targets
Prepare a daily to-do list and cross them off each time you complete them. Repeat this process until you feel you have mastered the target and replace it with another.
For example, every time you practice a song, cross it off your daily to-do list. Once you've mastered it, it's time to add a new song
Part 4 of 5: Practicing Thinking
Step 1. Adopt a growth mindset
Believe that you can work hard to improve your abilities and skill level. Make mistakes and accept criticism and learn from there. Don't believe that abilities can't be changed. Adopting a growth mindset leads to better performance and motivation in a variety of contexts.
- Reframe “failure” as a learning experience. You will make mistakes and run into obstacles as you try to reach your full potential. However, thinking about what you can learn from all of this will help prevent your development from stalling.
- For example, if “becoming a writer” is how you want to fulfill your potential, you should be aware that there are many challenges that you will have to overcome in order to achieve it. Don't torture yourself. If, for example, a novel you gave to a publisher was rejected, don't take that as evidence that you have failed and should give up pursuing ambitions. Some of the greatest writers of the 20th century were often rejected at first. Margaret Mitchell's Gone With the Wind manuscript was rejected 38 times. Dune by Frank Herbert, 23 times. Harry Potter book by J. K. Rowling was rejected 12 times. These authors ultimately succeed because their mindset is to keep growing. They continue to improve their work until it is accepted by the community.
Step 2. Think realistically
You must realize that the fulfillment of your potential will not happen overnight. Maintain realistic expectations. For example, if you want to become President of the Republic of Indonesia, it will take more than a few months or even years to make it happen. You may first have to be a politician in a smaller public service office, be a board member for a few years, and raise a lot of money to campaign before you can run for elections. This doesn't mean you have to set high goals; but you still have to be realistic about your focus and expectations – set ones that make sense as you work towards achieving them.
- Focusing on smaller goals and tasks as you work toward your overall goal will help keep you motivated and feeling strong. You'll be able to get the smaller things off your to-do list as you work towards the bigger ones.
- Think of it this way: if you determine that climbing Mount Everest is absolutely necessary to fulfill your potential, don't go out there and try it the next day (or you'll be in for a disaster soon). You must first maintain fitness, collect equipment, train and exercise regularly, and seek guidance before setting foot on the mountain.
Step 3. Think positive
As you strive to achieve your goals, think optimistically about your progress. Positive thinking will help you stay on track while working to fulfill your potential.
- Watch how you think. When talking to yourself about your goal progress, pay attention to whether you are being optimistic or pessimistic.
- If you catch yourself saying certain things about your goal such as, "I'm not going to make it," try to think more positively and rationally, for example (if this is really your goal), "Other people have achieved this before., so maybe I can do it too" or "I'll try it while having fun!"
- Studies have even shown that positive thinking affects the brain physically. Positive thinking stimulates areas of the brain associated with imagination, motivation, empathy, and “long-term picture” thinking.
Step 4. Learn from others and take inspiration
Look at those you think have realized their full potential, or are people you would like to emulate; learn how they act and think, then adopt the aspects you like. The inspiration they provide will help you realize your potential.
- If possible, talk to your role models to learn how they got to where they are today. For example, if you dream of becoming a small business owner, talk to people who run their own businesses. Ask how they can do it and what skills and abilities are needed to reach the target.
- Never think of role models as ideal people. This is especially easy for people you've never met, such as celebrities and athletes. While their success stories may inspire you, remember that you usually don't see the faults and obstacles they encounter. Don't let them be so perfect in your imagination that you judge yourself when you're not.
Step 5. Take responsibility for yourself and your actions
You have the power to reach your potential or not. Instead of making excuses for why something is holding you back, think productively about how you can overcome or overcome those obstacles while working to fulfill your potential.
- The way you interpret the things that happen in life is called the locus of control. The external locus places responsibility for things that happen to other people. For example, if you fail an exam, you are considered to have an external locus if you blame it on the teacher for asking too difficult questions. This way of thinking can prevent you from fulfilling your potential, because you are always giving up responsibility to other people or things.
- The internal locus is when you accept that things are not out of your control either. While you can't control the outcome of an action, you can control the action itself. For example, if you fail an exam and admit that you could have prevented it by studying more instead of traveling with friends, you are considered to be using an internal locus. This way of thinking helps you to move forward, because you are in control of your own decisions, whether wise or not.
Part 5 of 5: Never Give Up On Adversity
Step 1. Show determination
Achieving the target is never easy. Stay passionate about your goals and keep working towards them. People are more likely to be successful because their passion provides the necessary fuel not to give up!
When you lose your desire, remind yourself why fulfilling your potential is important, and why you were initially excited to achieve your goals. Ask yourself about the positive effects of realizing your potential, on yourself and on others
Step 2. Have patience and don't despair
You need hours of practice to become an expert; realizing one's potential may take even longer. Although the “10,000 hour rule” has been questioned by various studies, you can't really master anything without practice and consistent effort. Instead of just thinking about the end goal, focus on the progress you're making from day to day or week to week.
- To avoid despair, think of someone else, like Henry Ford or Dr. Seuss, who had faced early failure and adversity, but kept going and achieving their targets.
- To have patience, remind yourself that fulfilling your potential is a long process and the end goal may not be the only thing that matters. If you're getting too impatient or desperate, try taking a break. This way, you can be more productive than if you kept trying at a smaller capacity when you were exhausted.
Step 3. Fight fear
Avoid worrying about failure too much. “Failure” assumes that a lack of success is permanent and represents something about you as a person. This is not true. Keep in mind the idea that you can learn from mistakes. Success usually comes from endless trials. The twentieth or even the hundredth try may be the time when you achieve success.
- Think of the example of Myshkin Ingawale, an investor who wants to develop technology to help reduce maternal mortality rates in rural India. He needed 32 tries, which means 32 failures, to reach his target. However, now the technology has succeeded in reducing the mortality rate of the desired target population by half.
- Ask yourself about the worst that could happen if you try and fail to reach a goal. Likely, the failure outcome wasn't too bad. So, why be afraid? In fact, in fact, people tend to overestimate how bad they will feel after failing to hit a target; keep this in mind if you are worried about trying and not succeeding.
Step 4. Be proud of your accomplishments
You are trying to be a better person and you should be proud of this. When life gets tough, take time to feel proud of your hard work and self-improvement as you strive to reach your potential; this way, you will be better able to survive through the difficult times encountered in life's journey.
If you're having trouble feeling proud of your accomplishments, try writing a letter as if to a friend. Imagine your friend doing all your work. You will certainly feel proud of him, right? You might even encourage him to continue the hard work he is doing. Why don't you do the same for yourself?
Step 5. Find social support
By increasing your sense of belonging and well-being, family members, friends, and other people on your social network can help deal with the stress that may come with trying to reach your goals.
Humans can be "infected" with emotions just like the flu. Surround yourself with positive people and work towards their goals. This ambition and positive attitude will "contaminate" you
Tips
- Don't give up quickly, but be flexible about changing goals as you get to know yourself better.
- Improve yourself gradually and set realistic targets.
- Do not give up. Strong determination, patience, and maintaining gradual progress will prevent feelings of despair. Remember, the best things in life take time.
