Having overprotective parents is a classic problem for most teens. Let alone traveling out of town with friends, staying at a friend's house may be difficult for them to allow. But unfortunately, parental permission and blessing are things that you must have before you decide to do something. Therefore, learn various powerful strategies for negotiating maturely with your parents. Undoubtedly, permits will be easier to obtain!
Step
Part 1 of 3: Making Time to Talk to Your Parents
Step 1. Ask your parents what is the best time to have a discussion
If you want to ask your parents' permission, you must set aside time to talk to them. Find out when you can discuss your plans with them. Remember, focus on the time they can spend, not what you can spend.
- If you always have dinner together, try having a discussion with them during or after dinner. You can also chat with them on Sundays when everyone is chill and relaxed.
- If you want to attend a concert that will take place next week, do not ask permission one day before the concert takes place. For big events, make sure you ask permission ahead of time. Your parents need to know that you're not being impulsive, especially if your plans involve money and transportation.
- Parents tend to have a harder time giving permission if you ask for it at the last second. But this possibility usually doesn't apply if you're just going to visit your neighbor's house or play soccer in front of the house.
Step 2. Make sure you invite them to discuss when they are in a good mood
If they are stressed or under pressure, their chances of giving permission will be drastically reduced. Therefore, make sure you only ask permission when they are in a good mood.
- Make sure you're not being punished or doing something that upsets them when they ask for permission.
- Make sure you're out of jail before hoping your parents will allow you to do other things.
- The best time to ask permission is when you've finished schoolwork and homework. To increase the chances of them giving permission, make sure you also help them wash the dishes or clean the table after dinner.
Step 3. Be patient while waiting to talk to them
Constantly bothering them will only make them even more reluctant to give permission; chances are, you'll end up in trouble if you keep pushing them. Give them time to think.
Step 4. Adjust to your family's schedule
Whatever your plans, make sure you fit them into your family's routine. Don't talk to them when they're busy at work; there's nothing wrong with waiting until they get home and have some free time to discuss your plans.
- If you feel the need to be taken to a mall near your house, ask your mother to help you when she takes your sister to soccer practice. That way, your mother won't be bothered by your plans.
- Coordinate your plans with your parents. Try to strategize not to ask them to drop you off or pick you up too often.
- As much as possible, don't neglect family outings just to go out with your friends. If you do, they are more likely to be reluctant to give permission again in the future.
Part 2 of 3: Negotiating with Your Parents
Step 1. Prepare your argument
Before talking to your parents, prepare all the details that can support your argument. The more information you have, the stronger your argument will be.
- Tell them where you're going, who's going to be with you, how long you're going, and what you're going to do there.
- Make sure you always tell the truth! Don't break your parents' trust.
- Tell me all the details you know. Explain about your transportation, the money you will bring, and other relevant information.
- Start by asking permission for the simple things first. Before asking permission to travel out of town, try asking permission to stay at your friend's house first. After they believe you can take responsibility, then you can ask permission for bigger things.
Step 2. Explain why you want to leave
You may be thinking, “Of course I want to go camping with my friends! What other reasons do they need, anyway?”. But understand that what is important to you may not necessarily be important to your parents. So make sure you explain your reasons as clearly as possible when asking for permission. Explain why you are so excited to participate in the activity.
If you are going to benefit academically from the activity, make sure you explain it to them as well. Most likely, they would have an easier time giving permission after hearing about it
Step 3. Say what your parents want to hear
Remember, they want the best for you and care about your safety. Reassure them that you will not do anything dangerous or illegal. Also promise to always turn on your phone and pick up their phone when you're out with your friends.
- Mention the names of adults who will accompany you and your friends; if necessary, give your parents their cell phone number.
- Even if they already believe in you, still insist that you can take responsibility for confirming their belief.
Step 4. Discuss your plans calmly
There's no need to be dramatic and raise your voice; this childish behavior will actually prevent them from giving permission. Of course you can be enthusiastic, but don't let that enthusiasm turn into anger if you don't get what you want. Remember, you still have a second, third, and so on to convince them; don't make them close the door in just one shot.
- Even if your parents seem likely to refuse, try your best not to cry, scream, or get angry.
- Don't threaten or sue them. You may be tempted to make threats, such as not cleaning your room if you're not allowed to leave. Believe me, such a threat will not be able to convince them. Most likely, you will be punished afterward.
Step 5. Give them time to think
After explaining your plan to your parents, give them time to think. You can say, “Thanks for listening to me. I understand that you need some time to think before answering.” Prove that you are able to be patient and mature, even if you only ask permission to play at the neighbor's house.
Step 6. Involve your sibling only when necessary
If your parents are still having trouble giving permission, offer to invite your sibling along. Sometimes it's easier for parents to give permission if your sibling comes along; mainly because they are able to prevent you from doing negative things.
- Most likely, your sibling will report the things you do to your parents. This situation will certainly be more of a relief to your parents; as a result, their chances of granting permission will increase.
- But remember, make sure you don't do negative things if your sibling joins. Be careful, they can report your negative actions and make it difficult for you to get permission again in the future.
Step 7. Beat to win
Don't worry, even parental rejection can still benefit you, you know! Thank them for being willing to negotiate with you and don't take their refusal in a negative way. If you can respond to their response with maturity and understanding, their chances of giving permission the next time will increase greatly.
Part 3 of 3: Reaching an Agreement
Step 1. Complete all your schoolwork and homework before asking for permission
Make sure you've cleaned your room and completed all your schoolwork before asking for permission to travel with your friends. Don't give them a chance to doubt your responsibility.
If you don't have much time to do everything before asking for permission, promise that you will still complete all your responsibilities before you leave
Step 2. Allow your parents to talk to your friends or other adults
Chances are, your parents will be more relieved if you go with an adult. Therefore, give them the opportunity to call your friends' parents. Traveling with an adult – even if it makes you uncomfortable – will basically make it easier for your parents to give permission.
If you don't have an adult with you, don't lie to your parents! Sooner or later, the lie will surely be discovered
Step 3. Introduce your parents to your friends
If they don't know your friends, it's natural for them to have a hard time giving permission. Therefore, invite your friends over to your house and introduce them to your parents. Once you get to know them well, chances are your parents will trust them more to travel with you in the future.
Step 4. Take your parents' heart
Believe me, this strategy is very powerful to launch your plan! While waiting for them to give permission, show how much you love and appreciate them through simple actions. For example, you can write a short letter containing your admiration and affection for them. If you want, you can also occasionally come home with a flower for your mother!
- Don't overtly show your plans. Every parent has a very high sensitivity; they will surely realize if you do something just because you want something in return.
- Don't overdo it! Don't let your parents think you're faking the attention you're giving them.
Step 5. Offer to help out more with homework
Besides the things you really have to do (like making the bed), try helping your parents with other things like washing the car, mowing the lawn, or cooking dinner without being asked. Help them to relax more; surely, their mood will be better when you ask permission.
Step 6. Show that you value their response
Whatever their response, keep saying thank you. Be grateful if they let you travel with your friends, and be grateful if they forbid you. Remember, your parents also want you to have fun; but on the other hand, they want the best for you. Perhaps, their rejection is indeed the best decision for you. Be grateful for the love and protection they give you.
Warning
- While convincing your parents to give permission, make sure you are always honest both at home and outside the home.
- Don't break parents' trust! Besides risking being punished, your plans to get permission in the near future will also fall apart.
