Interested in exploring sexual identity and exploring transgender options, or just want to cross-dress by trying on women's clothes? Whatever you want, learn to discuss it maturely with your parents. Their reaction, of course, really depends on their personality and the way they were raised. If their response is negative, or if they have trouble understanding your wishes, do your best to explain their feelings and desires to them.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Explaining Transgender and Cross-Clothing
Step 1. Find out what your parents think
Try asking them what they think about men who want to wear feminine clothes to gauge their reaction to your wishes.
If you and they are watching men in women's clothing on television, try asking their opinion on the situation. If you want, you can also ask their opinion about public figures who claim to be transgender like Laverne Cox or Caitlyn Jenner, especially if you are also a transgender person who wants to confess in the near future
Step 2. Explain why you want to cross-dress
State the reason behind your wish; Be specific about how you feel about wearing women's clothes, the benefits you get, and when you want to wear them. If you don't know the reason behind the desire, simply explain that you feel like experimenting right now.
- Tell your parents that clothes are the most important part of helping you express yourself and feel confident about your body.
- If you wish, explain that cross-dressing also has a number of positive effects on you. For example, it helps you to understand yourself from different perspectives, understand others better, or discover positive things you weren't aware of before (like your resemblance to some relatives or certain body features you like).
- If you only want to wear women's clothes on certain occasions, explain that desire to your parents as well. For example, you may feel like or need to dress like a woman for a drama or similar show. Explain that for centuries, men and women have been cross-dressing!
Step 3. Discuss your identity
Discuss the gender identity that you are comfortable with, regardless of whether or not that identity relates to your cross-dressing desires. Maybe you've been feeling more like a woman all this time; it's also possible that you still feel like a man but want to know what it's like to wear women's clothes.
- “Confessing” transgender is not a situation to be dramatized; therefore, do this in whatever situation is convenient for you. If you want, you can also confess it to the closest people, such as your parents, relatives, or closest friends.
- It's possible that you're not transgender and just want to cross-dress. Trust me, the situation is also normal and worth discussing with your parents.
- Alternatively, you may believe that gender is fluid; that's why you don't mind changing your gender identity from day to day, or don't even feel the need to identify with any gender. These “gender-queer” or “gender neutral” situations are also normal and worth discussing with your parents if you wish.
Step 4. Break all negative stereotypes
Be prepared to respond to negative and untrue stereotypes about cross-dressing situations. Try to start by explaining that there is nothing wrong with that desire or desire; also emphasize that this is not just a phase in life that will change by itself. Although one day your desires may change, at least ask your parents to take your current desires seriously.
- Explain to your parents that today, more and more people are cross-dressing. Also say that a study proves that at least 2-5% of adult men have done cross-dressing.
- Explain that women can also wear clothes that were considered masculine in ancient times, such as jeans, T-shirts, or even blazers and still be considered normal; point out that the situation is unfair to men who are considered odd for wanting to wear feminine clothing such as skirts or overalls.
- Remember, discussions about cross-dressing don't have to be about your sexual identity or preferences. In fact, understand that these two issues have absolutely no relevance, despite the current stereotypes. Calmly emphasize that the two situations are distinct and unrelated.
Step 5. Remind them that you are still the same person
Reassure them that your desire to cross-dress has not changed you or any aspect of you that they know about.
Communicating your desire to cross-dress or be transgender is sure to surprise them; Alternatively, they may actually expect you to convey that wish in the first place. Explain to them that you don't want to keep the situation a secret from them; in fact, you are just waiting for the right time to bring up the topic and give them a detailed explanation
Step 6. Ask for their support
Emphasize that their acceptance of your decisions and feelings or their permission to buy clothes is very important to you. Express that you want them to be a part of your life going forward.
- For example, you might say, “I really need Mom and Dad's support about how I feel and what I want to wear. This situation is very important to me right now, and I want Mom and Dad to be involved in it. Want to help me choose the right clothes?”
- Ask for their advice on how to share your situation with friends, relatives, teachers, or other important people in your life. Also ask for their opinion on what you should do to gain support from these people.
Part 2 of 3: Making a Deal
Step 1. Be willing to wear women's clothes only on certain occasions
If your parents aren't ready for other people's reactions to your cross-dressing desires, try asking if you can only wear women's clothing to certain locations or events.
- Compromise with your parents. For example, discuss whether you can cross-dress outside of school, university, and/or church. Also discuss what events allow you to wear women's clothes without worrying your parents.
- Be patient and let your parents set boundaries that they think are appropriate early in the transition process. In other words, don't buy or wear women's clothes too often in the early stages; Get your parents used to seeing women's clothing or accessories in small quantities first. It's possible, over time they'll allow you to wear them more often, right?
Step 2. Compromise on the types of clothes you can wear
Ask what kind of clothes your parents think you deserve and be willing to compromise with their wishes. For example, you could try wearing androgynous clothes that are more neutral in style or mix men's and women's clothing to familiarize them with the idea of cross-dressing.
Try asking if you can buy jeans and a tight men's top to keep it feminine. Also ask if you can combine men's clothing with accessories that tend to be feminine
Step 3. Take them shopping
Take them to your favorite clothing store; try to offer them to help you make a decision and involve them in the whole process of buying clothes.
- If they don't want to come with you, try showing them photos of the clothes you want to buy and/or wear and get their approval beforehand.
- You can even try borrowing your mom's clothes or ask her for dress tips. Trust me, they will be more receptive to you if they are involved in a series of transition processes that you go through.
Step 4. Talk about makeup and accessories
If you want to wear makeup, jewelry, or other feminine accessories, make sure you discuss this with your parents first; ask their permission to buy and wear these items.
Be willing to compromise. Maybe your parents will only allow you to wear makeup; if that's the case, be willing to compromise. Also compromise on how much makeup you can wear and when is the best time to wear it
Part 3 of 3: Dealing with Parental Rejection
Step 1. Understand their reasons
Ask them why they refuse to cross-dress or change your lifestyle. After hearing this, try to understand their point of view to see if you can try to convince them again at another time, or if you should seek help from someone else immediately.
- Some people have very strong religious views that make it difficult to accept situations that are considered contradictory, such as cross-dressing. If possible, try to consult with other people who share similar religious views and ask them to help you talk to your parents.
- If you think you're too young to make decisions on your own, don't think you know what you want, or if they really don't want you to cross-dress, realize that it's your responsibility to obey them if you're under 18 and not living independently.
- Understand that chances are, your parents will have a hard time understanding things that are unfamiliar to them. Therefore, try to show that you are still the same person despite cross-dressing or even being transgender/transsexual.
Step 2. Determine your security level
Consider the risks of cross-dressing without your parents' permission; also consider the risk of ignoring their prohibitions. Putting your happiness first is important; however, make sure you keep the risks in mind. Are you at risk of verbal, mental, or even physical violence if you insist on it? As much as possible, avoid this possibility.
- If your parents are reluctant to understand your perspective and still won't let you cross-dress, but show no signs of violence if the rules aren't followed, try buying women's clothes and wearing them when they're not around.
- If your parents are really angry and/or aggressive, don't fight them. For example, they may strictly prohibit you from living a certain lifestyle, wearing certain clothes, or even threatening to harm you if their restrictions are not followed. If this is the case, immediately seek help from a trusted friend, relative, or other adult.
Step 3. Ask for support from others
If you have trouble communicating with your parents, try talking to the parents of your friends, school or university teachers, professional counselors, therapists, or other trusted adults. You should also do this if you feel unsafe and/or comfortable in your own home.
- If you are transgender or transsexual, and want to communicate with other transgender or transsexual people, try browsing the internet to find the nearest organization or NGO that focuses on transgender and transsexual issues.
- If you need help or have questions about your sexual identity, gender identity, or cross-dressing tendencies, try consulting an expert counselor who specializes in LGBT-related issues.
Step 4. Stay strong and be true to yourself
Don't bury your happiness or ignore your desires just because you receive negative reactions from those around you. Be careful, your mental and emotional health can be really affected by it! Be honest with yourself and believe in your choices as an expression of a healthy and natural life.
