At the age of 10-16 years, boys and girls usually go through puberty, and want to make a change in themselves. Piercings allow a person to express themselves, give a new element to clothes, and change their individual style. However, body piercing at a young age requires parental permission. Although it looks difficult, it is actually a very easy matter. In no time you'll have parental consent and the piercings you've always wanted!
Part 1 of 3: Preparing for Parents
Step 1. Do some research on piercings
The first step to getting permission to pierce from your parents is knowing what kind of piercing you really want. Some popular piercings include ear, belly button, lip, and/or tongue piercings. Each piercing has a different shape, size and color. You can find a list on the internet, or at a piercing salon.
- For example, if you decide to get your ear pierced, there are about 10-15 locations for the piercing in your ear. The locations in question include the upper ear lobe, lower ear lobe, inner conch, and so on. Make sure what kind of piercing you want, and where it is located.
In terms of shape, you can use barbells, closed rings, open rings, plugs, flesh tunnels, and so on. Don'ts: start with a large, unusual piercing because your parents probably won't allow it.
Yes: consider piercings that their parents or friends have.
Step 2. Find a piercing salon with a good reputation
Use a phone book, or an online listing to find a piercing salon near you. Pay attention to the ratings given by customers, usually on a “5 star” scale. Salons that get less than 4 stars should not be considered. Once you find a good piercing salon, go there to have it checked in person. Pay attention to the cleanliness of the salon and the behavior of its employees. Try talking to some of the customers there and ask about their experience with that salon and take notes.
Step 3. Ask friends to share their experiences with piercings
Some friends may have experience with either getting a piercing, and/or getting parental consent. They can provide first-hand information about the pain they experience with the piercing, their favorite piercing jewelry, and the salon they go to to get the piercing.
Make sure you record this information on a piece of paper. You can add interesting things to what they say when you present an argument to your parents. Do not: mention the name of a friend who is considered a "bad influence" by parents.
May: convey the facts that you learn from conversations with friends.
Step 4. Write down the reasons why your piercing is important to you
Make a list of the main reasons you feel you need or want a piercing using clear and concise sentences. The reason could be something mundane, or very serious. Give reasons, both aesthetic (jewelry can enhance your appearance) or emotional (piercings make you feel confident). When you've completed the list, cross out the reasons that you think your parent would reject. Put these reasons into logical sentences, with nouns, adjectives, and verbs.
For example: I want to wear a black plug on my earlobe. I think this jewelry will enhance my appearance, and also make me feel more independent as a person
Step 5. Practice presenting your argument
You can do it in front of a mirror, or in front of friends. Try to memorize as many arguments as possible so that they appear more convincing in front of your parents. Use a firm, but not confrontational, tone when using words and/or making specific points. Instead of memorizing notes, enter add phrases as you practice. Try to make your argument sound as convincing as possible. Practice at least 3-4 times.
Step 6. Prepare materials to be shown to parents
You may need an image of the desired piercing. Picture of the piercing salon you would go to to get your piercing. Piercing-related pamphlets and brochures. Medical statistics showing infection rates among people who have piercings. The goal is to be as prepared as possible. If a parent asks a question or asks for information, you have that information in your head or in an easily accessible place.
Please remember, don't show medical statistics that contradict the argument. If the information you can provide shows negative medical statistics for a particular piercing, you may want to choose a different piercing location
Step 7. Wait for the right time
Parents should be in a good mood when you invite them to discuss. You also need time to prepare. Think about the research you have done. Hasty decisions or without complete facts can certainly not produce the desired results. Waiting another week, month or year will give you time to prepare and think about what you are going to do.
If the negotiations are tough and they're screaming, don't have a confrontation. If they themselves are facing a traumatic problem, don't add to their burden
Part 2 of 3: Negotiating with Parents
Step 1. Tell your parents that you want to talk seriously
Let them know you're not kidding. Use firm language, and be assertive. Sending a message by letter doesn't have the same effect as directly saying that you want to talk. Set a time and day with them. It's best not to bombard them with information, but to set aside a certain amount of time for serious discussion. Don't: mention the piercing first. Let them wonder what you want to talk about, and most parents will be relieved eventually.
May: say “I want to talk about something serious. It's not something bad, but it's important."
Step 2. Find a comfortable place to discuss
The most suitable places for serious discussions are usually the living room or bedroom. Dim the lights so they don't get in the way. You also need to turn off your phone and keep it for a while. The TV should be turned off so as not to interfere. Make sure you and your parents sit close together so the conversation doesn't get awkward.
You may need to prepare a chair cushion, which can make you sit more comfortable. Make sure you and your parents are as comfortable as possible
Step 3. Start by describing your accomplishments
You can share your academic achievements, events you participated in as a volunteer, or family members you have helped. This is a great way to lighten the mood, and show your parents what you've accomplished and make it easier for you to get into more controversial conversations like getting a piercing. Once things start to warm up, and your parents are reminded of your good deeds, they may be more open to what you may ask of them.
- List all the A's and B's you got at school recently. Tell me about a book report you wrote. Tell them that you are helping other children with their schoolwork.
Volunteering activities, such as blood donation, or volunteer work, show parents that you are a responsible teenager. Do not: carry out conversations of more than a few sentences because it can raise suspicion.
Yes: continue if parents ask what they really want to talk about.
Step 4. State your goals and objectives
You can read a statement that you have prepared, or tell a story from memory. Use clear and logical sentences. Make sure not to stray from the focus of the conversation. If a parent interrupts, remind them that they will have their turn to ask questions later. Present your argument, provide evidence, and then repeat your argument again. Don't: argue with parents or patronize them.
May: say “I know mom and dad have a lot of questions, but I want to get into the details first.”
Step 5. Avoid irrational and emotional behavior
Crying, whining, and/or frowning show your parents that you can't control your emotions and, therefore, aren't mature enough to have piercings. You have to be calm, level-headed, and in control. Speak with your heart, but don't let your anger provoke you. Present yourself as an adult who is clear-headed and rational, and has the facts to back up the argument.
Step 6. Show parents the required materials
Give the pictures and pamphlets you have collected to parents. You can point them out one at a time when needed during an argument, or give them all at once at the end of the conversation. Provide an explanation for each picture/pamphlet so that parents are not confused. You need to make sure they can look back at all the material and understand what's going to happen.
If necessary, you can read the flyer with them, or let them read it and ask questions later
Step 7. Ask parents to ask questions and/or provide responses
The conversation was not one-sided. You must involve parents in the dialogue. Whenever a parent asks a question, have a clear answer ready. If your parents sense a weakness, or think your research is inadequate, they will seriously doubt your readiness to have piercings. If you don't know the answer, you should provide a referral to a specific website where they can find the answer they need. Don't let them wonder, with a mind filled with doubts.
Part 3 of 3: Building a Stronger Argument for the Piercing We Want
Step 1. Take your parents to a piercing salon
A little extra encouragement is sometimes needed to convince your parents that you are ready to have a piercing. Show me where the piercing salon is. Invite them in, and introduce them to the person who will be doing the piercing. Show them how clean the place is. Show pictures of people who have been pierced in the salon. You can even let your parents talk to some of the customers there to hear their comments about the salon and their level of professionalism.
Step 2. Make a contract or agreement
Your parents may give you permission to have your piercing if you agree to certain conditions. These terms may ask you to improve your school grades, do more homework, or be nicer to your sibling. Together with your parents, write down clearly on paper what the terms are included in the contract, and when you need to achieve those goals. If you succeed in achieving this goal, you must ensure that you will get a piercing.
Step 3. Remind your parents consistently how important your wishes are
Sometimes one discussion is not enough. Some parents are stubborn, while others cannot understand their children. Don't let that discourage you. Keep reminding them in the days or weeks that follow that you still think your piercing is important. Write them a message. Perhaps you can explain the argument better in writing. You can even schedule more serious conversations in the near future, and engage them further in open dialogue. Don't: Bring up the piercing problem when parents are in a bad mood.
Allow: show them new information, such as blogs written by parents in a similar situation.
Step 4. Invite your parents to accompany you when you get the piercing
Instead of letting them wonder about the "danger" that piercing can cause, take them with you. They will feel more comfortable standing by your side during the piercing. They may be interested in having piercings too, creating a moment of family closeness.
Step 5. Save up to pay for the piercing
One of the signs of maturity is taking responsibility in at least some financial matters. Many parents live on a monthly salary, and don't have the extra money to pay for the piercing you want. Find a job, and save your own income. Make sure you have enough money to pay for the piercing and jewelry you like. Tell your parents that you are willing to cover some of the costs, or all of them with your own money.
Step 6. Do more homework
You don't even need to talk to your parents to show your maturity level. Wash dirty clothes and dishes without being asked. Offer to take out the trash, or pick up your sibling from soccer practice. Spend more time with your parents at family play events, and/or go out to dinner with them. Be a real part of the family and show them you can take responsibility. That way they will reciprocate, and appreciate your new level of maturity and your position. Don'ts: mention piercing every time you do your homework.
Yes: continue to do extra homework for at least some time after the piercing.
- Speak clearly when you talk to parents. Stay focused on the goal.
- Do thorough research. You'll need to know what kind of piercing you want, the jewelry that catches your eye, the piercing salon you choose, and the medical consequences you'll face.
- After the first conversation with your parents, take a break. Re-talk after a month to give them time to think.
- Buy thongs to see what you'll look like with your piercing before you get permanent piercings.
- Be prepared to accept rejection. Some parents are so stubborn they won't budge.
- Watch out for infections. New piercings must be properly cared for. So, don't forget to clean and sterilize the newly pierced area.
- Don't "tell" your parents. While persistence is a good trait, constant whining at your parents can cause them to distrust you even more. Don't give them a reason to refuse your request.
- Piercings, depending on the type, cause different levels of pain. It's best to consult a doctor and professional piercing expert about the pain that will be faced