For some teenage girls, getting their period for the first time is a scary experience, and that is compounded by having to tell their mother. But remember, menstruation is a very normal and natural part of life as a woman. Mother had experienced the exact same thing, as well as grandmother. Even if you're nervous, there's no reason to be afraid or embarrassed. Chances are later you will remember this first experience and be confused about what you were afraid of.
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Part 1 of 3: Understanding Menstruation
Step 1. Learn what menstruation is
The menstrual cycle is a monthly process that the body goes through to prepare for pregnancy. At the start of the cycle, the body produces more estrogen which causes the uterine wall to thicken with blood and mucus. At the same time, the ovaries release an egg. The egg that is fertilized by a male sperm attaches to the thickened uterine wall. But if not fertilized, the egg will break and be removed from the body. At that time, the thickened uterine lining will also shed, and the release of this fluid is called menstruation.
- Girls usually get their first period between the ages of 12 and 14, but it can happen at the age of 8.
- Many people say they have their period once a month, but periods that come slightly irregular are also normal, especially in the beginning. Don't worry if your period doesn't come on the same date every month. In general, women get their period every 21 to 35 days, and it usually lasts for three to five days.
Step 2. Look for personal feminine products for menstruation
All women choose feminine products based on personal taste. The best way to determine is to try them all. You can buy feminine hygiene products at supermarkets, drugstores, and on the internet, but if you know where your mom and sister used to keep their supplies, use theirs first before talking to mom (women usually keep supplies in the bathroom cupboard or wardrobe). There are several feminine products available in the market, some can only be used once and others can be used over and over again.
- Pads and panty liners are disposable feminine products and protect the underwear by absorbing menstrual fluid after it leaves the body. Sanitary napkins are the most widely used choice of adolescent girls in Indonesia.
- Sanitary cloths work in the same way as pads and panty liners, but can be washed and reused.
- Tampons are disposable products, are inserted into the vagina and absorb the fluid before it leaves the body.
- A menstrual cup is a silicone cup/bell-shaped device that is inserted into the vagina like a tampon, but can be cleaned and reused during menstruation. Because tampons and cups collect menstrual fluid before it leaves the body, they are ideal for swimming and exercise.
Step 3. Control cramps and Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS)
Premenstrual Syndrome or premenstrual syndrome is a term used to describe the various symptoms some women experience in the days or weeks leading up to their period. Although the exact cause is unknown, PMS appears to be caused by hormonal and chemical changes that occur during the menstrual cycle, and may be influenced by diet and vitamin levels in the body. All women are different, but usually the symptoms experienced are depression or higher emotional reactions, cravings for something to eat, tiredness, bloating, aches and pains, headaches, and swollen breasts. Abdominal cramps are also common during menstruation and are caused by uterine contractions.
- Anti-inflammatory drugs and pain relievers such as acetaminophen, ibuprofen, aspirin, and naproxen can help control cramps and pain.
- Don't smoke and drink alcohol (although in Indonesia there is no legal age limit for this), consume caffeine, and consume excess salt (to help prevent water retention and bloating).
- Regular exercise will help reduce menstrual cramps and improve mood.
- Adopt a healthy and balanced diet at all times.
- Always provide healthy snacks to overcome overeating. If you find it difficult to control the urge to always eat, choose healthier snacks. If you want salty food, try rice and soy sauce instead of fast food which is high in sodium. Instead of overeating chocolate, make hot chocolate drinks from chocolate bars. Make a potato snack in the oven if you want to eat fried foods.
Step 4. Prepare to talk to mom
You have to stay calm and not panic during your period. Menstruation is normal and no big deal, telling mom is no big deal either. Get used to the changes that occur in your body. Don't worry if you're not ready to tell mom right away. It's your own body and the choice is yours.
- Before telling mom, make sure you relax. Do whatever relaxes you, whether it's taking a shower, going for a walk, reading a book, taking a nap, deep breathing, or whatever.
- Think about what you want to say to mom. Try writing down some points or questions, or practice what you are going to say.
- You can ask the school nurse or doctor, teacher, or other adult you trust to help if you have questions and are still not ready to talk to mom. Sometimes it's easier to tell the other person first that telling mom doesn't seem so difficult.
Part 2 of 3: Talking to Mom in Private
Step 1. Ask the mother to talk alone
Find a quiet time when you and your mom can chat together. Don't be afraid of yourself. Try not to think too much, just say it directly. Remember, what you are dealing with is your own mother. Apart from him, there is no one in this world who loves you more and he knows very well what you are going through. Speak in your own way, either singing or dancing, or saying that you are uncomfortable and want to talk. If you don't know how to say it, try the following example:
- "Mom, I think I've had my period."
- "Would you like to take me to the shop for a moment? I need a pad."
- "I'm ashamed to say, but I've had my period."
- “I don't know how to put it, but I got 'that''…”
Step 2. Say it casually when you and mom are alone
Whenever there's time for the two of you, you can tell your mom, especially if you'd be really nervous about having to sit down seriously together. You can say it on the street when mom takes you to school, sports practice, or piano lessons. You can also talk while watching TV, while out for a walk, before going to bed, or whenever the atmosphere is relaxing. Tell mom that your period has come.
- If you're not comfortable saying it out of the blue, start by asking how old you were when you got your first period.
- If you have to, start by talking about something completely unrelated. This will give you a chance to talk and relax, then when you feel comfortable, say so.
Step 3. Stop deliberately in the feminine personal aisle while shopping with mom
You can use shopping together to tell your mother without having to say it directly. Take your mom down the feminine personal product aisle, and tell her that you should buy sanitary pads. You can ask for a recommendation and he will understand that you really want to say that you have your period.
Step 4. Ask questions
Getting your period means that your body is going through some changes. Ask mom anything you want to know. This is a great opportunity to strengthen your bond with your mother, and maybe she also has a lot to talk to you about.
- Take this opportunity to ask about sexual health if you want to talk about it.
- Ask her what product she chooses, if she feels like she always wants to eat when she is menstruating, and how she treats PMS symptoms or cramps.
Part 3 of 3: Telling Mom Without Meeting In Person
Step 1. Say it in notes
Talking in person can be scary, and if you're not confident, you can always say it in notes. That way, you can start the conversation when you get the chance. Leave a note somewhere your mom is sure to find it, like in her bag. You can write long and convoluted notes, or short and sweet notes, such as:
- "Mom dear, today my period came. Maybe we can buy pads later? I love you”
- "My period is coming. Can you buy a sanitary napkin? Thank you!"
Step 2. Tell me over the phone
Saying on the phone is almost the same as saying in person if you're not comfortable talking face to face. Use the same techniques and tactics as private talk, or follow these examples:
- "I'll be home in an hour, and I think I need to talk for a bit because I'm on my period."
- "I came home a bit late because I had to stop by the store to buy sanitary pads."
- “Can you make a chocolate cake? I really want to eat chocolate cake because I'm on my period!”
Step 3. Say it via SMS
Another way to let mom know is by texting. It's not personal, but the message is sure to get across. You can use the same words as notes or letters, for example:
- "Just wanted to say that I've had my period. See you at home!”
- “Mom, can we talk later? My period is coming."
- "Would you like to go shopping later? I'm on my period and need sanitary pads."
Tips
- Record the date of your period so you know when your next period is coming, whether you missed a period, and also for medical reasons.
- Underwear that is dirty with liquid does not need to be thrown away, just wash it as soon as possible.
- Always be prepared by storing sanitary napkins in school lockers or carrying them in your bag.
- If you're not ready to tell mom, the best way is to tell a friend or someone you trust.
