Is it possible for someone to express anger without turning into a Hulk? Of course it's possible! Even if you don't have any trouble controlling your anger right now, it's worth learning tips for projecting anger in a positive way, and even using them to improve various aspects of your life. Believe me, this is a powerful way to improve your long-term physical and mental health!
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Part 1 of 3: Expressing Anger in a Positive Way
Step 1. Focus on the things you usually ignore
If you want to express anger and use it to make positive changes in your life, first learn to provoke anger in the right way. The easiest way? Don't overlook trivial things anymore.
- If your boss often gives you extra work just before office hours, and if you've always been used to following his orders, let your anger take control this time.
- If your partner often ignores you, and is cold and uncommunicative, stop justifying his behavior and let your anger take control!
- If your friend is constantly gossiping about other people close to you, stop ignoring the negative behavior!
Step 2. Always take events personally
The next time someone says, "Don't take it personally, okay, but …", don't stick with it! Take all events and actions to heart, and assume they are all motivated by ulterior motives.
Observe the action, not just the words. If someone constantly interrupts you, forgets your name, or ignores your existence, assume that the person has negative intentions behind it
Step 3. Focus on the situation that's hurting you
If you want to get into the habit of expressing anger, one way to motivate yourself is to blame the situation that surrounds you. If you were born in a working class environment, view the situation as a reason that makes it difficult for you to thrive. Then, use the frustration or disappointment that arises as motivation to make you work harder than others who grew up in a better environment.
Also, focus on the advantages that other people have. If a person manages to study at an expensive university, view the situation (rather than his personal abilities) as the key to his success. Focus on the things that other people have, but don't have
Step 4. Focus on the injustices around you
Sometimes, you just need to open your eyes wider to the things that are happening around you to feel angry. Therefore, try reading more newspapers, listening to the radio, and focusing on the various injustices that are happening around you. Open your eyes and ears wide; all around you.
Watch documentaries available on the internet to open your eyes to current events happening around you. Some classic documentaries worth watching are "The Act of Killing" and "Thin Blue Line."
Step 5. Stop justifying your anger
Although you can't always control negative situations, you actually have the option to control how you react to them. Anger is an emotion that resides within you, so of course you can always control it. Never trust the notion that anger is an emotion you can't control, and/or can't be used for positive things.
Part 2 of 3: Managing Anger
Step 1. View anger as a tool that can be used in a positive way
Anger is like water, which, if properly controlled, can be used as a source of power and power to drive turbines and produce the electrical power that keeps the productivity of the entire city. On the other hand, if not controlled properly, the water can transform into a giant wave capable of destroying the same entire city! Therefore, learn to control and channel anger properly, so that you can use these emotions for constructive purposes.
Step 2. Define a goal that you can achieve
In fact, everyone can set reasonable limits for anger so that the response can be more controlled and productive. Instead of trying to contain or control anger, try to control its manifestation or manifestation.
- If you always scream when you're angry, be determined not to raise your voice when you're angry. In other words, your goal is to communicate without shouting or raising your voice.
- If you're used to holding onto your anger so much that it erupts for petty reasons, be determined to process the event before it becomes the reason for your anger.
- Whatever your anger is, expressing it by hurting yourself and/or others is the worst thing you can do. Remember, you're not allowed to hit an object, destroy something, or beat someone up when you're angry.
Step 3. Identify the biggest anger triggers
What really provokes your anger? Try to identify and anticipate the situations, locations, and subjects that make your anger flare up. Do this to learn positive and productive ways to vent the anger.
- Dig for things that are not visible on the surface. If your “boss” sometimes irritates you, try answering “when”, “where” and “why” questions that are relevant to the situation. What did your boss do to annoy you? Try to understand the situation in as much detail as possible.
- Be honest with yourself. If you get upset after your boss criticizes you in public, try to think about whether or not the situation is fair to you. Did you really make a mistake and deserve to be treated that way? Or is the boss's criticism really unfounded?
Step 4. Understand the concept of speed of anger and know your limits
Psychologist John Riskind states that the most dangerous elements of anger are "feeling the need to pick up speed" and moving out of control. It's those feelings that will drive you to do things that feel reasonable and helpful at the time, like yelling at other motorists who interrupt you on the street. However, these actions actually have negative long-term consequences, such as embarrassing your partner, making you threaten strangers, and increasing your blood pressure. According to Riskind, the speed of anger is classified as follows:
- 90 miles per hour (miles per hour /mph): boiling, explosive, violent
- 70-85: so angry that my head feels like smoke, very angry
- 50-65 mph: bitter, furious, angry, angry, very annoyed
- 30-45: annoyed, agitated, annoyed, irritated, frustrated
- Under 30: calm, relaxed, peaceful
Step 5. Snap the wrist with the rubber
Use this method to prevent your emotions from exploding and regain control of your thoughts. For many people, a little pain can remind them to get back on the ground whenever anger overwhelms their mind, especially if the speed of your anger often exceeds 90 mph. Therefore, try stapling your wrists with a rubber band whenever you feel your anger is about to explode, so that your focus and thoughts can return to neutral. Remember, you are bigger and stronger than your anger!
When the speed of your anger begins to rise above normal limits, take more time to process and defuse it. To do this, learn to measure the speed of your anger and be prepared to process it in an appropriate way as soon as possible
Step 6. Leave the situation, if necessary
In some cases, the best way to process anger is to leave the situation that upset you. In other words, give yourself a chance to be alone and clear your head. If someone looks for you or questions your reaction, give a firm response, such as:
- "I'm fine. Just need some fresh air."
- "I'm going for a walk. I'll be back later."
- "I'm just a little confused, so I want to take a little walk. Everything is fine, really."
Step 7. Breathe
As cliché as it sounds, deep breathing has been shown to reduce stress hormones and make you calm down faster than other methods. Try closing your eyes and breathing in for a count of five, holding it for five seconds, then exhaling slowly.
Also, try to imagine your anger as thick black smoke coming out of your nostrils every time you exhale. While holding your breath, imagine the black smoke building up inside your body, and expelling it completely from your body in a few breaths
Step 8. If possible, solve the problem calmly
Don't avoid the event that triggers annoyance, but make sure you are able to respond and resolve the issue in a calm and controlled manner. Trust me, slowing down the rhythm of your breath will make it easier for you to do this.
Go back to the meeting room, have a private conversation with your boss, and explain why you feel like he or she has been treated unfairly. After that, ask what you can do in the future to prevent a similar situation from happening again. Make sure you always use a calm and controlled tone, yes
Part 3 of 3: Expressing Anger Positively
Step 1. Use anger to make positive changes
Remember, anger can be a very powerful motivational tool! In fact, Michael Jordan once kept the banter of other players directed at him in his locker, and used the banter as motivation to make him a tougher basketball champion. As a result, he also managed to win six NBA games and won many other awards. Learning from Michael Jordan's experience, why not try to use your anger as a motivational tool to become a better person?
- If you're upset that your boss always compliments your co-workers but ignores your existence, use that anger to motivate you to do a better job the following week. Work as hard as you can until your existence and achievements are recognized by your superiors!
- If you're feeling upset about an object that's difficult to identify or understand (such as being frustrated by a romantic relationship), try to focus on communicating those feelings to the other party in the relationship. However, make sure you are prepared to make significant changes, such as breaking up with your partner, if you find the situation difficult to change.
Step 2. Get busy with work
This is the best way to manage your anger! Instead of allowing anger to lead you into negative activities, try to increase your productivity by doing positive things like:
- Cleaning the kitchen
- Cleaning the garage
- Doing homework
- Baking delicious snacks
- Hitting sandbags at the gym
- Write
Step 3. Allow yourself to be emotional
Remember, there's nothing wrong with feeling upset or angry. However, anger will be wrong if it manages to cloud logic, and is vented in a negative or detrimental way. Never beat yourself up for feeling angry! Be careful, these actions can get you into the habit of holding back your emotions and as a result, the effects will be even worse when those emotions eventually burst to the surface.
Step 4. Exercise
Besides being a great way to take your mind off the event that upset you, exercising is also a very positive way for your body and mind to process anger and reduce stress, especially since the endorphins your body produces when you exercise can help you relax for a longer period of time.. Trust me, anger won't last long if you're too busy sweating and feeling exhausted. Therefore, keep moving your body actively!
- Try playing basketball
- Try boxing
- Try jogging
- Try circuit training
Step 5. Don't hurt yourself to vent your anger
While alleviating anger by smoking or drinking alcohol may sound like a tantalizing option, actually taking your anger out on something destructive doesn't have a permanent positive effect. After all, alcohol, tobacco, and other drugs can actually exacerbate the effects anger has on your physical health, such as increasing your risk for high blood pressure and heart disease.
Step 6. Understand how anger can affect your physical and emotional health
Everyone gets angry at some point in their lives, and in truth, well-managed anger is a perfect motivational tool and a very natural emotion. However, for many people, anger can turn into an uncontrollable emotion and potentially harm their physical and emotional well-being.
- Understand that high levels of stress and anger can increase cholesterol levels, potential diabetes, risk of immune disorders, possible insomnia, and blood pressure.
- In fact, people who are irritable often report having trouble concentrating, having trouble thinking clearly, and having higher rates of depression.
Tips
- Do not damage or break objects near you. Trust me, you will regret this action once your anger subsides.
- Most people prefer to scream inwardly so as not to disturb those around them.
Warning
- Control your anger so your veins don't hurt or burst.
- Do not vent anger on irrelevant parties. Instead, go into your room and scream all you can.
