It's upsetting when the woman you care about is angry, especially if you feel you don't deserve her anger. Sometimes it's hard to get him to forgive you, but try to put your ego aside and try as sincerely as possible to soften his heart. Start with an earnest apology. Let him express his thoughts and feelings. Then, ask how you could fix the error, and take action to actually make the correction.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Apologize Sincerely
Step 1. Say sorry as sincerely as possible
Start with a heartfelt apology. You can say, “I'm really sorry. I am wrong. That is enough. There's no way you can get an angry woman to forgive you if you don't apologize. So, start with the right way, which is to apologize first.
- Don't use a cynical or sarcastic tone.
- You don't have to apologize if you don't feel wrong, but don't expect him to forgive you anytime soon. If your goal is to be forgiven, you should apologize even if you feel you did nothing wrong.
- “I'm really sorry” and “I'm sorry” sound better than a stiff and dismissive “I'm sorry”.
Step 2. Admit mistakes
You will gain nothing until you accept that you were wrong. So don't try to bring up what he's done. If you're not comfortable apologizing or admitting mistakes, take a deep breath and apologize in simple words.
Say, “I should have told you about the job before I told my friends. I was wrong” or “I know I was wrong not to call after I got home, I'm sorry.”
Tip:
If you're afraid you'll start an argument or if you can't calm down, consider apologizing in writing and writing him a letter. This method has another advantage in that it shows that you care enough to take the time to put your feelings down on paper.
Step 3. Express regret
Chances are he'll forget your mistake if he knows you're sorry. Guilt is a sign that you know you've made a mistake, and saying you understand why he's angry will make it easier for him to try to forgive the mistake.
- Say, "I shouldn't have broken a promise like last night. I'm very sorry."
- Even if you and your partner aren't in love, explain why you went wrong and say that you value your relationship with him. Say, "You're my best friend, I don't know why I ignored your calls like that" or "You're my sister, I'm not going to lie on purpose".
Step 4. Promise not to repeat the same mistake
End the apology by promising that you won't do anything that upset him again. Explain that you have made a mistake and will never do it again.
- Use the word "mistake" to talk about what you've done. This suggests that you didn't mean to hurt him.
- Don't say, "I'll try not to do it again," but say, "I won't do it again." If you frame it as if the error was out of control, you seem to provide the possibility to do it again at a later date.
- If you want to explain the error, say, “I'm not going to say something like that again. I meant to be joking, but now I realize that jokes are stupid.” If you try to justify your actions, the situation may just get worse.
Method 2 of 3: Understanding the Point of View
Step 1. Listen to how he views this situation and problem
Don't get defensive and argue over all the points he makes. Instead, sit back and listen. He may point out an error you weren't aware of, or tell you how to fix the problem. Even if he doesn't say something you don't already know, giving him a chance to talk is very important to a healthy relationship.
It's natural to be frustrated by just sitting around and hearing all your faults exposed one by one. Don't get angry and try to open your mind while actively listening
Step 2. Let him vent if he's frustrated, and don't interrupt
If he's really angry and starts to attack you, give him a little time to let go of the anger or sadness. It's no good for either party to hold on to resentment, and venting it will make him feel better. If he's having a long nag, just sit back and let him get all his feelings out.
Maybe he'll say some hurtful things. You can say, "I'm sick of hearing what you just said," but don't interrupt
Step 3. Understand the position by listening actively
Listen carefully when he is talking and try to consider things from his point of view. If you listen to why he's angry, you'll know how to get an apology out of him.
Maybe you're driven to get angry and fight when he says he's angry. Try to fight the feeling. You will only focus on the wrong things in the first place
Step 4. Don't try to balance things out by pointing out what he's doing wrong
If he's angry at your comments or jokes, you may think he's irrational. If he says or does something that makes you act that way, you may think he has no right to be angry. Don't follow the impulse to fight or criticize. There's a time and place for discussing these two different perspectives, but when things are hot, your emotions will only make him angrier.
Tip:
There is a difference between asking for clarification and provoking. Feel free to ask why he's angry, but don't belittle or belittle his feelings.
Method 3 of 3: Getting Sorry
Step 1. Ask if he wants to be left alone first, and appreciate the answer
The best way to find out if he needs his own space is to ask. Frame the question in such a way that you understand why he wants to get away from you for a while. There's nothing wrong with making room, and he'll turn down your offer if he wants to improve the situation too.
- Say, “Would you like to stay away for a few days? If so, I have no problem. We can discuss this again when you feel better.”
- Many people just need some time to cool off, that doesn't mean they don't want to be your friend or lover anymore.
Step 2. Offer to try again by repeating the date or chat
If you upset him in the middle of a romantic chat or date, ask if you can both do it again. This shows that you really want to improve the situation and want to change.
Say, “I know I was wrong yesterday, but now want to try again if you want too. Can we try another date tonight?” or “I don't know why I was so jealous back then, but actually I wanted to hear about your vacation. I promise not to act stupid again."
Tip:
If he's angry that you made a joke or made an insensitive comment, maybe repetition isn't necessary.
Step 3. Give a simple gift to show that you care about her feelings
Chocolates, flowers, and other small gifts can be great ways to show that you're ready to improve your relationship. A delicious dinner at his favorite restaurant is a very pleasant way to sit down and deal with problems in a positive place.
- If you don't have enough money, give him a homemade gift that shows you care about him
- Give the gift with another apology. Say, “I have this for you. I'm so sorry about yesterday, and when I see this, I think of you."
Step 4. Ask him to forgive you and find a way to win him over again
If the two of you haven't seen each other for a few days, it may be awkward even if you give him a gift or apologize. Ask how he feels to see if there are any lingering negative feelings. Ask him to forgive you, and if he doesn't, ask him how to fix the problem.
- Start with the question, “How are you feeling? I understand that you are still angry.” If he says okay, ask "You forgive me?"
- If he says he hasn't forgiven you, say, “How can I fix this problem? What should I do to prove that I am sorry?”
