The process of giving birth to your wife may be the toughest stress you will ever face in your life, but understand that this experience is even more stressful and painful for her. If you want to make this moment as easy as possible, learn how to help your wife through labor. Every birth is different, and what makes it both scary and thrilling is that you never know for sure what will happen. Take the time to make sure you're ready, and support your wife as much as you can.
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Part 1 of 3: Helping Before Childbirth
Step 1. Take prenatal classes
The best way to help before labor is to educate yourself through classes like these. These classes are available to expectant fathers and parents. Look for the different types of classes available in your area of residence. If the thought of having a child scares you, know that men who prepare for successful classes have a more positive birth experience.
- Contact the nearest community activity center or health center.
- Ask the doctor.
- Contact the nearest university.
- Look for online classes.
Step 2. Gather equipment
Make sure you have all the necessary equipment to make the birth experience a positive one. Prepare a bag or suitcase for baby gear. Bring some things for yourself too. Pack everything before delivery time to be ready on time. Prepare at least two weeks in advance.
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For the mother:
- Massage oil, but be careful about the smell
- Nightgowns, room slippers and bathrobes if she prefers to wear them over hospital clothes
- Grinding pins or a thermos of ice for compressing and pressing the sore/painful lower back
- Warm socks
- Soothing music
- Personal favorite items (such as photos, flowers, toys) to help him focus during contractions
- Favorite fruit juice or electrolyte-balanced drink (eg Gatorade), stored in a cooler
- Cosmetics
- Toiletries
- His favorite snack
- Breastfeeding bra
- Money for emergencies
- Clothing to wear when returning home (must still be clothes for pregnant women)
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For you:
- Copy of birth plan
- Manual watch with long and short hands
- Personal care equipment (toothbrush, breath freshener, deodorant, shaver)
- Snacks and soft drinks (but bear in mind that your wife may be sensitive to the smell in your breath)
- Change of clothes
- Swimwear so you can help your wife while she showers
- Paper and pencil
- Reading material, or handwork, to pass the time when the wife doesn't need help
- Telephone numbers of people who can be contacted during or after the birth process
- Camera (both for shooting and video recording)
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For the baby:
- Diaper,
- sling blanket
- Bra
- Outerwear (such as hats and warm clothes)
- Blanket the size of a crib
- car bench
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For the trip to the hospital:
- Fully filled gas tank
- Blankets and pillows in the car
Step 3. Create a birth plan
By making a birth plan, your wife will feel more confident before going to the hospital to start the birth process. Sometimes, feelings of anxiety can be overcome by practicing and planning what will happen. Women who are preparing for a birth plan are also less likely to have a surgical delivery.
- Make a decision with your wife.
- Make personal birth plans as a couple. This way, you can avoid mistakes in choosing the fastest travel route or get lost, as well as to learn the route you will take.
- Consult with your doctor while making a birth plan. Birth plans are widely available online, but their quality is questionable. Better you make it with the doctor.
Part 2 of 3: Helping During Childbirth
Step 1. Calm down
This is the best thing you can do. Keep calm for your wife, so that she too is helped to calm down.
Step 2. Be a supporter
This is your main task. You already know what he wants, so you may have to remind him of his expectations if he wants to give up.
Step 3. Record the time of contraction
Apart from being calm, you should also do this. Fathers usually feel compelled to do something, and keeping track of the timing of contractions is important. This will not only help you to stay focused and support your wife, but the doctor will also get the information she needs.
Step 4. Remember the short term SUPPORT in the early stages of labour
This term makes it easier to remember all the things you can do to help your wife. All of which can make a huge difference in the level of comfort she feels, as well as the overall positive experience of the birthing process. Take some time to remember these useful points.
- S – Support (give support) emotionally. Providing emotional support is important in the labor process. Listen actively, acknowledge her emotions, ask questions, and reassure her to help her feel more comfortable.
- U – Urination (pee), at least once every hour. Remind the wife to go to the bathroom. This way, it will move. Movement will help with the process.
- P – Position (change position) frequently.
- P – Praise (give praise and encouragement), not sympathy, so that she can go through labor.
- O – Out of bed (get out of bed, for example by walking or taking a shower) instead of lying down.
- R – Relaxation (relaxation) is a key action.
- T – Touch (touch): pressure and massage.
Step 5. Entrust the birth process to professionals
In most of these processes, expectant fathers sometimes need to be quiet. Childbirth is a complex skill and is not mastered by them. Depending on the method you choose, you may be allowed to accompany your wife. Ask to stay with him as long as you can.
- Don't leave your wife in the final stages of labor unnecessarily.
- In some places, fathers are not allowed to be in the delivery room.
- If the mother has to have a cesarean section under general anaesthesia, you will need to leave the delivery room.
Part 3 of 3: Helping After Childbirth
Step 1. Pay attention to the wife's mood
The baby blues (postnatal sadness) and postpartum depression are a real threat. The baby blues are normal symptoms, but watch out for signs of postpartum depression. Some of the things below may signal a serious problem that requires professional help.
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Signs of the baby blues:
- Mood swings
- Worry
- Sadness
- Easily offended
- Feeling tired
- Cry
- Decreased concentration
- Appetite problems
- Hard to sleep
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Signs of postpartum depression:
- Severe depression or mood swings
- Crying excessively
- Difficulty building a bond with the baby
- Withdrawing from family and friends
- Loss of appetite or vice versa, sudden overeating
- Insomnia or hypersomnia (lack of sleep/oversleeping)
- Severe fatigue
- Intense feelings of anger and irritability
- Feelings of worthlessness, shame, guilt, or inadequacy
- Reduced ability to think clearly, concentrate, or make decisions
Step 2. Celebrate the birth of a baby together
You may want to invite everyone you know to see the baby. Just make sure you don't overdo it. Newborns can be stressful enough, especially if you're celebrating in a big way. Clean the house. Finish the event before it gets too late.
Step 3. Divide roles fairly
Parenting is a dual (or sometimes more) task. Make sure you do your job, but don't overdo it. By being a balanced partner in your relationship, you can create a more positive postpartum time. This is especially important in the first few weeks after giving birth, when the mother must rest to recuperate. He or she may need regular rest, feel sore, and tired. At this time, remember all his efforts in the delivery room and help your wife.
Try to involve yourself as much as possible with the baby. Moms shouldn't be the only person who gets up to care for the baby every night – you have to be there too
Step 4. Pay attention to yourself too
Treat your wife well, but also make sure you take care of yourself. Sometimes dads are so eager to help that they forget to take care of themselves. Make sure you rest and feel good to help your wife. Don't get too tired.
Tips
- Realize that your abilities are limited. Don't give up on supporting your wife through the birthing process, but if she keeps telling you to stay away and it doesn't seem like you're worth it, take her advice. Do not be angry. Take a deep breath and continue to support the wife's efforts.
- Be patient.
- Support your wife and make sure you are there for her.
