Many people think that taking care of or dealing with children with special needs is a difficult thing to do. In fact, parents of children with special needs themselves often have to struggle and try to remain patient and understand their child's condition. When playing the role of a caregiver for a child with special needs, you certainly need to show a great commitment. However, it can also provide great benefits or advantages. You can learn how to be more patient with children with special needs by following some of the methods described in this article.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Interacting with Children in a Positive Way
Step 1. Explain the instructions for doing the task or activity slowly and clearly
Children with special needs sometimes have difficulty in following directions and doing the assigned tasks. You can help the child focus on the task by sitting with them and showing or explaining the instructions slowly and clearly. Maintain eye contact with her when you explain directions, and make clear facial expressions. Don't talk too fast or too loudly to him.
Some children with special needs also sometimes have difficulty reading facial expressions, as well as verbal or physical cues. You may need to draw instructions for doing an activity or task to show him how to do the activity. You can do this by creating simple drawings, such as stick figures (simple people with basic outlines), or comic-strip-style drawings with more detailed figures or characters. After that, the child can see the created drawings and understand how to do the activity or task better
Step 2. Find out and learn how your child prefers to communicate with you
It's a good idea to observe how the child communicates with you and the people around him. Some children with special needs have difficulty expressing their discomfort or need in words. Instead, they use physical cues, such as touching your arm or waving your hand at you. Some children also prefer to make facial gestures at you to show they need something or are trying to figure out how to do something.
- If you are going to be caring for a child with special needs temporarily, discuss with the child's parents the preferred way of communicating or show the child before you take care of him. Generally, parents understand the cues shown by their child so that they can be the right source of information to find out how to best communicate with the child.
- Don't push, hit, or yell at your child as this form of communication can often frighten the child and make him more depressed. Aggressive actions in children also need to be avoided because they are usually not effective.
Step 3. Use audible, visual, and tactile cues
If you're not sure which way of communicating your child prefers, you can try using audible, visual, and tactile cues. Try repeating a few words or phrases to calm him down when he starts to get agitated or throws a tantrum. Say these phrases (e.g. “Keep calm”) in a low, rhythmic tone to make the child feel calmer. You should also try clapping, whistling, and humming to calm him down.
- You can also use visual cues to calm your child down and teach him how to behave in public. Try to draw a picture that depicts a calm behavior or demeanor, then show the picture to him to get his attention. Over time, he will understand that certain images have a certain meaning, from being calm, going to the bathroom, to getting ready for bed.
- Touch cues (eg by touching a child's shoulder or cheek) can also be a great way to get their attention. You can also give your child an object to touch or hold as a way to calm him down and focus his attention on relaxing activities. For example, try giving her a blanket made of soft material or a stretchy toy (eg slime) that she can play with to keep her busy doing something safe and fun.
Step 4. Try to meet or match the child's special needs, not against/denying them
You may struggle to control your child's behavior (especially in public places with people who might judge you or the child) and get annoyed when you can't control him because of his special needs. However, instead of fighting or denying his particular need, try to find ways to meet that particular need. This way, you can see your specific needs as a challenge, not an obstacle or problem that needs to be solved.
For example, instead of feeling upset that your child with Down's syndrome is having trouble speaking or verbally expressing his needs, try to find other ways to help him communicate. You can take pictures of the steps of getting dressed in the morning and show the photos to her so she understands how to dress. You can also repeat certain phrases consistently so he can hear and remember them. For example, try saying "Good morning" to him every morning so that he understands that this is a common greeting in the morning
Step 5. Praise or celebrate the accomplishments they show, even if they are small
Focus on the positive aspects of your child by recognizing and acknowledging their achievements, even if they are small or insignificant. For example, the achievement could be the moment when he manages to pronounce his first sentence in full or when he succeeds in understanding the requests or orders of others in a new or challenging place/environment. Show him that you appreciate his efforts with positive facial gestures and language.
You can also reward your child by giving him a small gift or snack, or taking him on a fun outing. This can help build her confidence and remind you of the many positive aspects that come with raising or having a child with special needs
Method 2 of 3: Creating a Safe Environment for Children
Step 1. Make sure the child is always under adult supervision
To ensure safety and assistance for your child, you need to make sure that there is a parent watching him at all times.
This means that you and your partner should keep an eye on him at home and make sure someone is always in the room with him. Or, during extracurricular classes, ensure that one adult interacts directly with the child, while another adult supervises the other children in the class. This is done to ensure that the child is not at risk of getting hurt or injured, or being in a situation that makes him or her uncomfortable or upset
Step 2. Establish rules and routines that are consistent with your child
You can build a balanced and stable atmosphere/situation for your child by creating some rules and routines.
- Create a routine that requires your child to, for example, eat at the same time and go to school or extra classes on the same days.
- Establish ground rules about how to behave. For example, you can create a rule that requires your child to leave the table after he or she has finished eating, or say hello to someone they just met. These rules and routines can help your child feel safe, as well as resolve any problems he may have.
- You also need to ask any teachers, instructors, or authorities who are or are involved in the child's life about the rules they make or enforce. In a classroom setting, the teacher might make a rule that a student is called by name as a warning if the student has a behavior problem. That's why you need to remind your child that these things (eg staying well-behaved so as not to get a warning) are important rules that he should follow when he's in class.
Step 3. Prepare alternative plans to deal with problems that may arise
It's always a good idea to have an alternative plan in place, especially if your child is unpredictable or, at times, has a tantrum. If you're planning a particular activity and he doesn't seem interested or happy about it, make sure there are alternative activities you can try. This way, you won't feel pressured or upset. Try to come up with a more flexible plan for the child so you can be more patient and understand him better.
Step 4. Move the child to a safe place
If your child has a tantrum in a public place, you need to ask your partner to take him outside or to a nearby quiet place. If it's just you and the child at the time, you need to take the child out yourself and sit with him or her until she feels more relaxed. Always pay attention to quiet places that are around you when traveling with your child because you may need to go there if your child has a tantrum at any time.
You also need to provide a safe space or space in your home so that you can allow him to be alone in the room to let his anger out. You can take him to his room or a small room with various things that can calm him down. Also, try playing calming music or videos that your child usually listens to or watches in a calm and serious manner
Step 5. If necessary, take some time for yourself
Taking care of yourself is an important part of being a caregiver for a child with special needs. Take a moment to focus on your needs, even if it's only for a few minutes.
Do a short meditation or enjoy a cup of coffee for five minutes, without any distractions. Ask your partner to babysit for an hour while you do some activities on your own, such as taking a yoga class or just going for a walk. Having a moment or time for yourself is an important key because spending all your energy on parenting can certainly leave you very exhausted and stressed
Step 6. Use jokes or humor to relieve tension
Dealing with stressful situations with humor and cheerfulness can help reduce stress levels. You can laugh or make jokes when your child does something weird or throws a tantrum in public. This kind of humor helps relieve stress and makes you less irritated with your child's behavior.
You can also turn the situation around by trying to make your child laugh. One parent reports that she uses earplugs and a white noise-generating machine (a combination of sounds of various frequencies) to calm her child when he has a tantrum. However, sometimes he himself wears the earplugs so the child laughs. In this way, the tension and stress between the two can be reduced
Method 3 of 3: Sharing with Others
Step 1. Talk to other people who also care for or have children with special needs
It's a good idea to talk to parents, caregivers, instructors, or teachers who care for or care for children with special needs. By sharing your joys, fears, problems, and challenges with someone who can empathize with you, you will be less stressed and exhausted.
- Your parents may live not far from where you live (or where your child lives) so you can contact them to share your concerns or experiences. Or, try talking to a teacher who works with children with special needs for advice. By building a support network, you can be patient and understand children with special needs who are being cared for more easily, especially during difficult or challenging times.
- If you don't already have or join a support network, try meeting people at your child's school, or parents in a child's supplementary class. In addition, there are several internet forums that you can join. There, you can talk to parents or other caregivers about the problems you might face while raising a child with special needs.
Step 2. Join a support group for parents of children with special needs
Look for a support group in your city/area. Joining such a group can be a great way to deal with the issues your child is having, as well as allowing you to connect with other people who understand your situation.
Step 3. Get professional help if necessary
Even if you are determined to care for a child with special needs alone, remember that it is a challenging and difficult job. There's nothing wrong with seeking professional help (eg a doctor or professional therapist), especially if you're trying and having trouble keeping your patience with your child.
