Impatience is a natural reaction that comes when things don't go your way, whether you're stuck in a traffic jam or frustrated with a difficult project. By learning how to control and neutralize impatience, you can become a more calm, happy, and understanding person, no matter how upsetting the situation is.
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Method 1 of 3: Practice Patience in the Moment
Step 1. Pay attention to the physical thoughts and feelings that come up when you're feeling impatient
If you're in a stressful situation, watch out for thoughts that indicate you're starting to get impatient, such as "Ouch, that's been taking so long!" or “This guy sucks”. When you become aware of such thoughts, hold yourself for a moment and pay attention to how you feel physically. You may be able to recognize signs of impatience right away, and by knowing them, you can begin to fight off the irritation that arises. Some of the physical signs that can be felt, including:
- Muscle tension
- Feet or legs that can't stay still or keep moving
- clenched hands
- Short breath
- Increased heart rate
- The appearance of feeling annoyed or angry
Step 2. Determine what makes you feel impatient
Once you've realized that you're feeling impatient, it's time to identify the cause. Think about the frustration you are feeling and ask yourself, “Why do I feel this way?” Some of the things that cause impatience, among them, are:
- An environment that doesn't live up to your expectations. For example, you may be stuck in an unexpected traffic jam, or the restaurant you're visiting is busier than you thought, causing you to feel irritated or irritated.
- Others don't behave the way you want them to. For example, you might get impatient when someone gets in the way in the supermarket aisle or chats too long with the clerk.
- New skills cannot be mastered quickly. You may feel impatient, for example, when you can't grasp a new mathematical or computer concept, even when you find that the skill is difficult to learn.
- The mind itself cannot be controlled. You may feel impatient because you can't control the emotions and thoughts that are running through your head, even when you understand that there isn't much you can do to stop them from appearing.
Step 3. Stop the impatience before it gets worse
Take small, easy steps to break the cycle of impatience before it peaks so you have a chance to control yourself. Take your wallet or cell phone out of your pocket and move it to another pocket. Take lip balm (or lipstick) or a small piece of paper from your bag and hold it, or tuck it in a clothing pocket.
Focus on the movement or physical sensation that occurs when you hold the object. It can take your mind off impatience
Step 4. Take five deep breaths to lower your heart rate
Close your eyes and take a deep breath into your stomach. Hold for one second, then slowly exhale. Feel your body calming down and allow physical relaxation to flow into your mind to ease impatience.
In addition to calming your body, deep breathing will encourage you to hold yourself back before saying or doing something hasty
Step 5. Shift your perspective on the situation if you can
Most situations that make you feel impatient are ones that can't be easily changed (if there's an easy solution, you've probably already found it). Instead of dwelling on feelings of helplessness, try to concentrate on the things that can be changed: your attitude and perspective on the situation at hand. Say to yourself, "Since I can't run away completely from this situation, what can be done to make this situation feel better?"
- If you feel irritated with an essay assignment, for example, you can focus on making the environment feel more comfortable. Play music that helps you concentrate, make a cup of tea, or enjoy a snack.
- You can also tackle the annoying thing directly in the situation at hand (eg essay assignments take a natural time to complete). Close your clock or watch so you don't feel constrained by time.
Step 6. Find something good or interesting in the situation if you can
If you can't change the situation, the best thing you can do is change your perspective on the situation. Push yourself to look for the positives about your current location and focus on that, not your perceived impatience. While it may be difficult at first (keep in mind that a lot of negative emotions and impatience can make you feel more comfortable and empowered in the situation), pushing yourself to focus on the positive can make you feel much better in the longer term.
If you're stuck in traffic, for example, try chatting with other people in the car or, if your car is equipped with Bluetooth, call a friend or family member. Change radio stations or play a new CD and sing
Method 2 of 3: Developing Patience for the Long Term
Step 1. Keep a journal to look for frequent patterns of impatience
Carry a small notebook and take notes whenever you feel impatient. Write down the date, time, thing that made you feel impatient, and the physical and mental impact of the impatience. After two weeks, reread the journal and find out what situations are making you feel very impatient.
- For example, you may notice that your impatience stems from being annoyed with the other person. You might note, “June 1, math class, 2 p.m. I felt impatient because Joni was working too slowly. My muscles are starting to feel tight.”
- Journaling about frustration has the added advantage of being a means of venting your emotions so you can feel calmer and less stressed.
Step 2. Create a personal strategy for countering the triggers of impatience
Sit down and take out a journal, then jot down the things that trigger your impatience the most. Ask yourself what you can do to neutralize impatience in these situations and write a list of steps you can take, wherever and whenever impatience starts to overwhelm you.
- For example, if you often feel impatient with a friend or family member, a strategy might be: “Breathe deeply three times. Explains why I feel annoyed. Calm down and walk away if I'm still feeling impatient."
- Get creative with workable solutions and try different things to find out the best move. Don't be in a hurry to change or make changes. Your attitude won't change overnight, but you can improve your attitude in no time.
Step 3. Practice short meditations to do whenever you feel impatient
View any potentially triggering moment of your impatience as an opportunity to focus on breathing and controlling yourself. Stand or sit quietly, and breathe deeply. Pay attention to the pattern of inhalation and exhalation. Close your eyes if you can or focus on a point or spot at the far end of the room.
Practice short meditations like this several times a day, even when you're not feeling impatient. Feeling comfortable to meditate when you are calm will make it easier for you to meditate in hot situations
Step 4. Exercise regularly to relieve accumulated stress
Try to get some light exercise every day, even if it's just a short walk or a run up and down stairs. Exercise helps to burn stress hormones that cut the "wick" of patience, making it easier for you to stay calm in hot situations.
- If you have time, try combining light exercise with more vigorous physical activity, such as jogging, swimming, biking, or lifting weights.
- Sometimes, you can use exercise to combat your perceived impatience. If you're feeling impatient while working on a project, for example, get up from your seat and try a 5-minute walk.
- If you're stuck in traffic, try moving your arms and head to the beat of the music.
Step 5. Be prepared to fight the impatience that comes when you have to wait a long time
Many people feel impatient when forced to wait a long time, such as in a restaurant or doctor's office. If you can distract yourself with other activities while you wait, it will be easier for you to stay patient.
- For example, you can bring a book, a crossword puzzle, or a handy game if you feel the need to wait at your destination (eg the doctor's office or supermarket is very busy).
- You can also distract yourself with whatever you find in the situation at hand. Listen to other people's chatter, pay attention to other drivers who are equally stuck in traffic, or read the headlines in magazines or newspapers while waiting in line.
Step 6. Ask for help if you feel overwhelmed
Look for tasks that can be shared and ask friends, family members, or coworkers if they can help. Releasing a little weight can help reduce stress levels and make you less irritable.
- For example, if you're upset about a project you're working on, ask your boss or teacher if you can get help from a coworker or classmate.
- Say, “I've been working hard, but this job feels too heavy to do alone. Can I get a partner to share the workload?”
- Never feel bad about asking for help, especially if the help is related to mental health. People are usually happy to help, and you'll feel much calmer when you can share the burden.
Method 3 of 3: Accepting the Unchangeable
Step 1. Train yourself to consider or assess your perceived impatience
When you're working on a task in a hurry, you may feel that the work needs to be done quickly, and the thought of what will happen if the task is not completed can provoke impatience. Instead, try asking yourself why you should be in such a hurry. Even if it's a little late, if the task is successfully completed, the task is done and things will continue to run smoothly.
- In a life-and-death situation, broadening your perspective probably won't help much. For example, when you are waiting for an ambulance to rescue someone who is injured, the arrival of the ambulance (in this case, late or not) will be a very important factor.
- In a situation like this, direct your impatience by doing something else, either to make the victim feel more comfortable or to provide the emergency services operator with more information.
Step 2. Be kind to yourself about your shortcomings
If your impatience is centered around getting annoyed with yourself, take a moment to relax and realize that you can't always expect much from yourself. It's good to want to improve and learn new skills, but pushing and torturing yourself will only make you lose confidence. Instead, face the shortcomings that exist and find ways to outsmart them, or even turn them into positive things.
- Impatience with oneself is often rooted in the view that faster development or progress is better. However, this is not always true.
- By developing slowly and patiently, you can understand the concepts being studied more deeply. You may also be able to enjoy the process more.
- Remember that often things take time and effort to master. Being patient with yourself is the best gift you can give yourself.
Step 3. Accept that your expectations may not always be met
Often, impatience stems from irritation at people or situations that don't live up to personal expectations. Instead of requiring things to work out a certain way, lower your expectations and wait for surprises to come. Accept that every person and situation will never be perfect and face every twist of life with sincerity and humor.
For example, rather than simply losing your temper when a friend spills a drink, remember that it was an accident and no one is perfect. Take some time to catch your breath, reassure yourself that everything is fine, and get back to your normal activities or life
Step 4. Write down the things you are grateful for each day
Several studies have shown that people who are often grateful in their daily lives tend to be more patient and have better self-control. Practice this by looking for 3-4 things you can be grateful for each day. Take time to enjoy gratitude and focus on that feeling.
For example, say that you are grateful that you still have a place to live, dreams and goals for the future, and friends who love you
Step 5. Build confidence and believe that you can find other solutions
Everyone must have faced obstacles in life that seemed impassable. By developing self-confidence, you will realize that you are intelligent and strong enough to overcome these obstacles, regardless of the feeling of impatience or resentment.
