Want to eat ice cream? Want to get permission to watch a Justin Bieber concert? Want pocket money to travel the world? Want to get permission to marry someone? Persuading a parent can seem daunting to a child, teenager, or adult. To get their permission or help, you need to formulate an argument, start the conversation in a strategic way, then make the argument sound convincing. If you have prepared it, the chances of succeeding in persuading parents will be greater.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Formulating Arguments
Step 1. Decide what you want and why
Many parents are very patient. And not a few are also impatient at all. If you want to ask for something, know exactly what it is. If you beat around the bush, your parents will start to get impatient, and that will reduce your chances of success.
Able to give good reasons. Would you like to borrow a car this weekend? Why do you need to borrow a car? Why does your wish need to be considered? Consider these questions before you start a conversation with your parents because they will definitely ask them
Step 2. Collect reasons
If research will help you achieve your goals, do it. Ask for advice from others. Do specific research online about your goals. For example, if you want an iPhone, iPad, or other Mac product, tell your parents why you want that product. Is the product faster than other devices? Does the product offer any special abilities that can help you in school, work, or community life?
Step 3. Take the role of a listener
If you know your parents care about one thing over another, be sure to anticipate those preferences. If your parents have been scolding you for weeks for your achievements and you want a new laptop, feeling pressured to get one will help you get better grades. If your parents want you to get a better job, feeling pressured to buy a new car will help you land a good job.
Remember that your parents want you to be happy, but they also want their ideals to be applied to your life choices. Find the middle ground between your desires and those of your parents
Step 4. Anticipate counter arguments
Sometimes you'll think that no one will be against your will, but you should consider counterattacking. If you know your parents well, you can probably guess what they will think. Think of ways to reduce resistance. You need to break down their defenses gradually.
One way to reduce parental opposition is to make an agreement. If you want a new car, offer an amount that matches the money they will spend. If your parents provide funds for a new vehicle, you will need to adjust accordingly. If your parents are willing to pay for the car, you will pay for the insurance and fuel costs
Step 5. Take advantage of your parents' weaknesses
This may sound strange, but everyone is prone to different types of arguments. Some parents will succumb to the emotions you show. If you cry when they ask for something, they will empathize. They just want to make you feel better and will give up right away. Other parents want to feel like heroes. Make them feel like they have saved you in some way and they will give up. Some other parents only care about themselves. For parents like this, you need to find a way to bargain.
Method 2 of 3: Starting a Conversation
Step 1. Ask nicely
Sorry. Don't sue. Some topics are very vulnerable to talk about. If you're asking for something that requires someone else's sacrifice, don't start the conversation in a negative way.
For example, if you want to borrow a car over the weekend, say "I know you guys want to use the car this weekend, but I really want to go hang out with my friends at the mall." In this case, you start by acknowledging the needs of the other person and then focus your desires on those needs. Make sure that you use appropriate and polite language
Step 2. Praise the parents
Praise their appearance and actions. Identify what your parents are proud of and focus your praise on that. Then start the conversation politely. Don't make it too obvious. Don't just walk up to your mom and say “Mom, your hair looks really beautiful today. Can I buy a new video game?” Your compliments will look like they're made up. Let your parents be in a good mood with praise. Then wait at least a few minutes before you ask for something.
Step 3. Find the right time
Time is very important when you want to persuade your parents. Parents are human too. Everyone makes decisions based on their emotions. No other way. Wait until your parents are in a good mood.
- Don't ask for anything when they get home from work. They want to be appreciated when they come into the house. They don't want to be bothered at this point.
- Don't ask for something when your parents are working on something. We often see commercials of children whining to get something while their parents are on the phone, paying the bill, or watching their favorite television show. This never worked. So learn from this. Wait for the right time to ask your parents something.
Method 3 of 3: Making Arguments
Step 1. State your wish clearly
Explain what you want and why you want it. Depending on the nature of the subject, you can ask your parents to listen to your entire argument before they respond. If they agree, you can plan your wishes, state the reasons, anticipate counter arguments, then conclude.
Hopefully, your parents will listen to you to the end. If not, you need to express your wishes in the form of a conversation. State your wish. Listen to their response and argue against it. Take care of your emotions. Don't be condescending or shout
Step 2. Make a bargain
Don't just ask for something from your parents. You have to give something in return. Since you are asking for something from them, it would be better, if you offer something in return. Parents want to see you happy, but they also want to get something.
The strongest strategy for bargaining with parents is to offer to do the homework. If you want to borrow a car over the weekend, offer to do some homework or around town. Make your request worth more to them than just making yourself happy. If they think you're happy and get something else out of it, chances are they'll agree to your request
Step 3. Give yourself some time to think
"Don't answer now.", "Think about it. There's no need to rush. Give your answer after you have thought about it.” No one likes to be pushed around, especially when it comes to requests or more serious issues. Parents will immediately react by answering "No". To avoid outright rejection, give them time to decide and talk it over with each other. This will also show if you are mature enough and not in a hurry.
This tactic only works on requests that don't have a time specification. For example, you need to borrow a car this weekend. You don't want to delay your parents' answer because you won't have enough time to use other means of transportation. If you want to be allowed to raise animals, this strategy will work better. Since raising an animal is a commitment, it's better not to pressure your parents to make a decision right away
Step 4. Understand the parent's argument
If you want to retaliate or persuade your parents to agree with you, you need to understand their argument. Even if they say "no" this does not mean they will always say "no". Ask for an explanation. Hopefully your parents won't just play their role as parents: "because I said so". They will probably explain their point of view in the debate. If they do, try to understand what their reasons are. Then come up with counter arguments or suggestions that weaken their argument and strengthen yours.
For example, if your parents don't let you have a dog because you're not responsible enough, find ways to show otherwise. Start being more responsible and when they notice it, start talking about it again. "Look I've become a responsible person, can we raise a new dog?" Remember that the best way to challenge parental arguments is through action
Step 5. Re-evaluate
There may be other ways to persuade parents. Take the time to collect and reevaluate other strategies. You may decide to just let it go. I hope you succeed, but if you don't, your desire to persuade your parents may diminish. The desire may no longer be comparable. Some parents won't change their opinion once they've decided something. If this is the case, you might consider looking for other ways to get what you want.
