It's not always easy to convince your parents to let your friend stay, especially if they're overprotective or overprotective. It's natural for parents to worry about allowing this. Not only about the mess that will have to be cleaned up later, but also the fact of inviting foreign children into the house. If you want to persuade your parents to let a friend stay over, it is best to show that you are responsible and that they have nothing to worry about. See Step 1 to get started.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Asking Permission Correctly
Step 1. Ask your parents for permission when they are in a good mood
When you want to ask your parents for something, timing is very important. Mom or Dad will be more likely to give permission to relax on a Sunday afternoon on the patio, than when you've just come home from a tiring job or after a busy day cleaning the kitchen. Look for moments when your parents are relaxed, not having a million things going on in your head, and when you are generally happy to be with you. While it may be impossible to know exactly what is on their mind, you can still guess whether they are listening to your request or not.
Even though you may not know what your parents are worried about, don't ask directly before grandma and grandpa come to visit, for example. Or when they're busy at the kitchen table, or when they're generally too tired to listen. Although that doesn't mean you have to wait forever, you should wait until the time is right. Unless you're in a hurry
Step 2. Ask for permission to stay at a convenient time
Another thing to think about is exactly when you want your friends to stay. Don't ask for permission before grandma will come to visit, and don't do it when you know your parents will be busy cleaning up the holiday season. Choose a time when they won't be busy at home or on their mind. The more comfortable the choice of time, the greater the chance that they will give permission. You should also choose a time when you're relatively free yourself, so that they don't dispute the request with excuses such as, "You're going to have a math test/ball game/spelling contest that day."
You may want your friend to stay overnight as soon as you're done asking for permission, but it's best to do this at least a few weeks in advance, to increase the chances
Step 3. Be polite when asking permission, don't demand
When you approach your parents for something, whether it's a new video game or a movie, your tone of voice is crucial. If you suddenly show up saying, "Anyway my friend is staying over and you can't stop me!" obviously the name is brash and they will ban faster than you step out of the house. Try to be polite, sweet, understanding, and emphasize that the ultimate power and decision rests with the parents. This is much more likely to allow them to give permission.
Although it's hard to remind yourself to respect your parents when you really want to be granted a wish, you have to do it. They're the ones who make the rules in the house, and as long as it's reasonable, don't complain or be rude if you don't get what you want, as it will only make things worse
Step 4. Keep the activity of bringing a friend over for the first time, simple
If you've never done this before, it might not be a good idea to invite all of your fifth-grade girl friends over to stay at your Dimly-lit Club themed party. Invite only two or three people, and don't have to use different themes or food requests. If this is parental agreeable, probably won't mind for a bit more next time. But still don't ask too much with weird requests, because they definitely won't be allowed.
Step 5. Offer to do something nice in return
You may expect your parents to immediately allow you what you want. But think about it and realize for a moment that they will tend to appreciate and even deserve something in return. Offer to wash the dishes more often, do the housework that parents usually do, or some other way to help them. If you're old enough, you might be able to help out at the market to shop for kitchen supplies, walk your dog, or something else, so your parents can have some free time.
- You shouldn't have to wait until they say no. When you're done asking for permission, immediately add, "And instead, I'm going to clean the fridge or take out the trash every month, or clean the cat litter box, from now on."
- Think about it: Is there something a parent would be reluctant to do and would be happy if you did? Maybe they're always complaining about having to pick up mail in front of the house, picking up the phone knowing it's from a telemarketer, or pruning the garden. See if there's anything you can offer to do in such a way that they're willing to let you bring a friend over to their house instead.
Step 6. Point out that this could be a great opportunity for you to socialize
Don't let your parents feel guilty about making you feel like you don't have friends or don't allow you to hang out with other people. Let's just say that it's normal for kids your age to stay over at a friend's house and you don't want to miss out on the trend. Say that you want to hang out with friends for the night and that this could be a fun way to hang out. Make your parents feel that if you don't allow it, you will miss out on a good opportunity to make friends.
Step 7. If basic tactics don't work, try a more drastic approach
If it fails after being nice and showing that you can be responsible or even after saying sorry, "Can you please?" still doesn't work, try a more drastic tactic. Here are some options:
- Tell your parents that your friend really wants you to stay at his house. If parents say, "No!", say calmly, "Okay. Then, can he stay here?". Most parents are very afraid if their child stays and sleeps in someone else's house, and therefore it is more comfortable if other children stay at their house. If your parents are also like this, they will be more likely to agree after hearing your first request, because they think other children staying at their house are better, even though they still don't like it.
- Ask first if it's okay to do something more extreme. Ask for permissions that are a little extreme, like if it's okay to go on vacation with friends and family, have a dog, or take horse riding lessons, then wait for them to say no. After they say no, put on an annoyed expression and wait a few days for them to be sure that your request is serious. Then, casually ask if your friend can stay over. If they don't notice your trick, they will likely give you permission.
- If you have an annoying sibling or two, just say that they can join in too if they want. That way parents feel they have a free babysitter and can rest.
Part 2 of 3: Reducing Parents' Anxiety
Step 1. Give them an overview of your plans, so they know what will happen during the stay
Parents are not much different from their own children. Sometimes, what I hate the most is not knowing what's going to happen. Maybe they didn't give them permission to stay because they didn't know what was going to happen, let alone imagine ten kids going crazy playing pillow fights while running around destroying furniture. If you want to reassure them that nothing bad will happen, the best way is to make it clear what the stay will be like. Here are some things parents should know:
- How many people will be invited
- What will you eat later
- What will you watch, if you really want to watch a movie
- Where will your friends sleep
- What time do you come and go?
Step 2. Say that you will do all (or most) of the work that needs to be done
Another reason parents won't let your friend stay overnight is the thought of having to prepare a big dinner and having to sort things out again the next morning. They may also worry about having to clean the house to make it look presentable and appropriate for your friends and their parents to visit. Say that you're willing to clean and tidy up before and after, plus a promise that your friends won't make a mess. Also say that you'll just order a cheap pizza for the meal, so parents don't feel like they have to do a lot of things to keep your friends happy.
After making it clear to parents that they don't have to work hard to serve, they are more likely to give permission. They will also be impressed that you are willing to show a lot of initiative and responsibility
Step 3. Meet the parents with your friends before they stay
If you haven't met before, ask your friends to stop by your house first, so parents can see for themselves that they are good, sweet, normal, and trustworthy children to stay the night. Invite friends to play baseball with your family, have dinner or watch a movie together, so parents can see for themselves that there is nothing to worry about. In this way, it is likely that parents will want to change their minds.
Parents will also tend to feel more secure if they can meet the parents of your friends, when picked up
Step 4. Say that parents can check at any time, while friends are staying
The great thing about letting your friends stay over for parents is that they can check in almost any time, rather than if you were staying over at someone else's house. Tell them they can check in at any time while they're eating, watching a movie, or just hanging out and chatting. Invite parents to make milk and cake and breakfast the next morning, if you want. Chances are they won't bother you at all, but still take comfort in the fact that they can easily see what you're doing.
Say that you'll leave the door open a little, or that you'll let your parents know every few hours. Even if this is a bit of an exaggeration, it's still better than not being allowed at all
Part 3 of 3: Showing Responsibility
Step 1. Point to the past when you were nice to friends
If you want to be given permission by your parents, then after asking for permission to bring a friend to stay, remind yourself how responsible you were in the past when you played with friends. Maybe that same friend stayed at your house last week. You could say, "Remember when Maggie came over to watch TV and eat pizza? Nothing happened, did it?" Show that it's okay if your friend, who has proven to be good at it, spends a few nights staying up late at your house.
Your Parents Have to see for yourself that you really can be nice and not just promises. Make a list of activities in the past when you've proven to be good with friends, so that you can bring them up and comfort your parents
Step 2. Show that your friends will not distract you from your primary obligation to study and be a good student at school
If you want your parents to let your friend stay overnight, show that you are a good student, focused on schoolwork and won't be bothered by their academic achievements because of friends. Having friends is healthy and important for mental growth, and you have to show your parents that you can balance study and play.
If your grades aren't that great, your parents will use this as an excuse to ban your friend from staying. Try to be a good student and show that you can manage things well. Guaranteed they will be more likely to give permission. It's true that not everyone can be the best student in the class, but the most important thing is that you show that you are doing your best
Step 3. Help parents clean the house
Another way to persuade your parents to let your friend stay over is to be extra lenient at home. Don't just do your part, make sure everything looks neat and clean. Do the laundry, do the dishes, make the parents' bed, even offer dinner or take food orders, if you can. It's even better if you want to also sweep and mop floors, or some other unpleasant job that parents usually do. They will see that you can be responsible and be impressed by it.
Step 4. Of course, you can't just help out when you need it
Constantly showing responsibility also helps you to grow up as a complete individual.
Step 5. Follow parental instructions
This sounds obvious, yes, but many children today are surprised to find a parent still not allowing something, even after the child has misbehaved a lot. If your parents tell you to come home at a certain time, don't violate it. If they ask you to help your sister, don't ignore them. If they tell you to get up early to go to school, don't bother complaining in bed and asking to be woken up in ten minutes. The more obedient you are, the more willing they will be to hear and approve requests about bringing a friend over to their house.
- If you are stubborn to your parents, you will even give reasons why you are not given permission to bring friends to stay overnight. Obey them, so that there are positive values that support your will.
- Be a good host when you have guests. If your family has guests, be it cousins or childhood friends of your parents, behave like a good host by helping to remove jackets, bring food, be a guide at home. Let your parents see that you can be a great host when friends come over to stay!
Step 6. Be nice to your brother or sister
Another way to show your parents that you are responsible for taking care of your bedmate is to show a kind and fair attitude to your brother or sister. No matter how annoying your sibling is, you should try your best to be kind. Help if they need help, don't be a snitch if they can't do much, try to be supportive and be a good brother.
If you respect your sibling, your parents will see that you are worthy of trust and responsibility for taking care of your bedmate
Tips
- Do whatever your parents ask them to do to make sure that you are worthy of trust and reward.
- If you want to make sure they give permission, be nice the day before and after asking for permission. It's even better to have to be nice for a few days before asking for permission.
- Be light-handed and remain polite until they allow.
- Don't keep complaining. Otherwise, they would definitely not give permission.
- Say that the friend's parents have allowed it.
- If you want to know their decision right away, stay close with an angelic smile on your face.
- Don't try to bribe or persuade them with money.
- Show report cards with good results. Add a little by saying, "I'd do _ if I was allowed to invite a friend over." Maybe this can help.
- Offer to be nice to your brother and/or sister.
- Don't raise your voice when asking for permission.
- Make sure you have a good reason to invite friends to stay.
- Clean and tidy up the room before a guest arrives. This way parents will see that you are responsible.
- Just go with the flow. If they say yes, it means they can, if they don't, it means they can't. Respect your parents while they are still around.
Warning
- Parents may set certain rules during the stay of friends. Watch this.
- Keep being nice to your parents if they don't give you permission. It shows maturity.
- Don't show too much that you want something. In fact, it will be even more difficult to convince them.
- If they offer to do it another time, accept it and don't complain, because at least you'll have time to prepare for the best stay yet!
- If they forbid, try to arrange another, more appropriate day.
- Do not Cry!
- Parents may not give permission for that day, but may promise to give permission in the next few weeks.
