Adolescence is a tough time, both for the teenager himself and everyone around him, including friends and family. Teenage boys are branded with certain stereotypes that are sometimes not true, such as always angry, mood swings, prone to violence, and rude. The stereotypes are based in part on situations that actually rarely occur, but are more memorable. Don't assume that these stereotypes are also attached to the teenage boys you know, friends, girlfriends, or children. Or, if he starts displaying such stereotypes, understand the reasons behind them.
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Method 1 of 3: Making Friends with Teen Boys
Step 1. Recognize that puberty changes her perspective
Boys normally experience puberty between the ages of 11 and 16. During those years, he went through many physical changes (such as getting taller or starting to gain muscle). During and after puberty, his sexuality begins to develop. He began to notice himself and others in a different way.
- If you are a girl who is friends with a teenage boy, you may feel that he is starting to treat you differently. On the one hand it's because he's going through changes in your emotions (and hormones), and on the other hand your physical appearance has changed. There is nothing wrong with the change, it's just part of the growth.
- Boys are also sometimes confused or unsure about their sexual orientation. He may need your help and support to figure that out.
Step 2. Read her body language
Body language is the movement or position of a person's body that shows how he feels. If you can read a man's body language, you can determine the best way to deal with him.
- The ability to read body language begins with the ability to observe. Try practicing reading body language by observing people in public places like malls, buses, or coffee shops.
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Some body language you need to pay attention to are:
- If he walks down the school hallway with his hands in his pockets or his shoulders hunched forward, he may feel sad or upset.
- If he often plays with his hair or fixes his clothes, he may be nervous about something.
- If he's tapping or smacking his fingers on the table, or is making a lot of fidgeting, he's probably being impatient.
- If he's chatting with his arms crossed over his chest or holding something to his chest, he's on the defensive.
Step 3. Show empathy
Empathy is the ability to understand and appreciate the feelings of others. In other words, you can put yourself in his shoes. Empathy allows you to understand what the other person is going through and sympathize with him or her. Empathy also makes relationships better.
- Empathy also means being willing to listen. It's hard to understand someone's feelings if you don't let them talk.
- As you listen, think about how you would feel if you were in the situation he describes. If you feel a certain way, chances are he does too.
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Here's an example of how to empathize with a friend:
- If he's telling you something that expresses different feelings, listen carefully and repeat what he's saying. It shows that you listen and care about what he has to say.
- If he has an opinion on something, listen without judgment. Then, think about why he thinks that way. Put yourself in his shoes before expressing your own opinion.
- If she has had an embarrassing experience she doesn't want to talk about, share an embarrassing experience you've had yourself. She will be more likely to share her experience if you tell her first.
Step 4. Give sympathy
The next step after empathy is sympathy. Sympathy is characterized by a desire to help people who need help. Once you understand his feelings, you can determine what needs to be done for him. Sympathy is also one way to form a healthy relationship.
- Call him and ask if he needs anything. If he doesn't know what he needs, think about what he might want in his current situation.
- Show interest in them and use your curiosity to ask questions and get to know them better.
- Be kind to her when she is bullied or mistreated by others. Do not take part in gossip about him or interfere with him.
Step 5. Be a loyal friend
An important part of friendship is being loyal to friends. A loyal friend is always there in joy and sorrow, joy and sorrow. Don't let rumors and gossip shake your trust and feelings for him. Loyal friend also means willing to sacrifice if a friend needs something.
- Loyalty in friendship goes beyond keeping secrets, but sometimes means breaking his trust for his own good.
- Loyalty also means being honest in telling him what he doesn't want to hear. The truth hurts, but maybe he needs it.
Step 6. Don't succumb to peer pressure
Peers here are those who share the same interests as you. Usually, peers and friends are the same group, but not always. Because you are together every day, you and your friends usually influence each other for good and for bad. However, when your peers (friends or not) begin to pressure you into doing something you don't want to or shouldn't do, the influence is negative.
Your friend may start to feel and act strangely. Or, someone else is pressuring him to do something he doesn't want to do. As his friend, you must defend and support him
Step 7. Beware of aggression
Boys' bodies and brains go through a lot of chaos and change. His brain changes physically so he tends to act irresponsibly. In fact, physical changes in the brain affect emotional responses, resulting in him reacting more often with anger, fear, panic, and anxiety. Coupled with the large amount of testosterone, aggression and negative behavior is very likely.
- If he argues with you and becomes aggressive, you need to stay calm.
- If the argument gets too hot and it doesn't look like he's going to settle down, walk away. Say you'll be back in 30 minutes. Give him a chance to calm down before continuing the conversation.
- If he's violent, put your safety first. Go if possible. If you can't leave and you're concerned about your safety, call for help.
Method 2 of 3: Dating Teen Boys
Step 1. Find out if you are allowed to date
There is no rule of what age is appropriate for dating because it depends on you (and your parents). If you're ready and comfortable, your parents may agree. However, the most important thing is not to feel pressured to have a boyfriend if you still don't want to.
Step 2. Check if he's the right guy
Do you like it? Is he nice to you? Are you compatible with him? Are you attracted to him? Do you flutter when you're around him? You'll probably feel all of that before you start dating. However, that's a good start. If you're ready and sure that he's nice, consider going on a few dates to get to know him better.
Step 3. Understand if he's acting weird around you
Between the changes that occur in adolescent girls and boys during puberty, what girls go through is easier. Puberty for girls does change a lot of things, but once it starts, it ends pretty quickly. On the other hand, males continue to grow and change until they are in their 20s. This means that teenage boys will continue to feel awkward and confused. The difficulty would be even greater if he realized his growth was slower than his peers.
- Boys' voices change in their teens to become deeper. However, the voice might sound strange to his own ears. Maybe he was uncomfortable when chatting because he was embarrassed by his voice.
- This one you may not want to think about, but one of the big changes that boys go through during puberty is the penis. Enlargement of the size of the penis and scrotum as well as increased hormone levels sometimes make men erect at the wrong time. Naughty thoughts about women can already cause that. Unfortunately, teenage boys aren't always in control, which makes them even more uncomfortable around you.
- Boys begin to show more mature social skills when they are 17 years old. Before that, they may still seem immature or childish. Since girls mature more quickly, you may find a teen boy very annoying until he reaches mental maturity.
Step 4. Try dating
If a guy asks you out, that doesn't mean he's going to be your boyfriend right away. Start with one date, and see how things go from there. Dating can be done in many ways, such as drinking at a coffee shop, watching a movie, eating at a restaurant, watching a sports match, etc. Any activities undertaken during a date should be equally enjoyed.
If the first date goes well, arrange a second date, and so on. If it doesn't go well, that's okay, maybe you just don't get along with it
Step 5. Have a good reason to date and date
Some teens feel the need to have a boyfriend to get the attention of someone special because they have low self-esteem and self-esteem. Others date because they want to feel like they have control or power over other people. There are also those who want to have a girlfriend to gain status among their peers. None of those reasons are good to start dating.
If that's the only reason you can think of, then dating and dating isn't a great idea. You're only going to use him for personal gain, and that's not fair to him
Step 6. Be yourself
When it comes to men, dating or just being friends, you have to remember to be yourself. Guys who want to be with you because you pretend to be someone else don't really want you. Even if things go well at first, the relationship will not last long. Eventually, your true self will emerge because you can't pretend to be someone else forever.
Your boyfriend doesn't have to have the same intelligence as you. If you're smarter, no problem. If he's smarter, that's fine too. Don't act stupid to make him more confident. He will feel inferior once he finds out that you are just faking it
Step 7. Know if what you feel is love
The first time you date, you may feel in love. There's a chance that's true, but it's also possible that you're just infatuated or hooked. Sometimes the feeling will last, but sometimes it can go away quickly. If feelings don't last, it's probably because real life is changing the way you see each other. Over time, annoying habits become more apparent and character flaws become more apparent.
- Love takes time and effort. You won't just fall in love with every date.
- Love in a relationship involves attraction (physical attraction), closeness (emotional connection), and commitment (loyalty to one another).
Step 8. Identify the characteristics of a healthy relationship
Healthy relationships can last even when annoying habits become apparent. Healthy relationships are also characterized by mutual respect, giving and receiving, sharing feelings, being together in good times and bad, being willing to listen, and supporting each other's ideas and needs.
If you feel like one of the characteristics of a healthy relationship is missing between you and your boyfriend, talk about what went wrong. If the problem can be resolved, then the relationship still has strength. If it can't be solved, maybe it's time to find a way
Step 9. End the relationship when the time comes
Not all relationships can be fought for. Two people in a relationship may gradually drift away from each other, or decide that they are not compatible. If you or your boyfriend feel that it's time to live each other's life, don't think that being with him is a waste of time. All relationships are valuable experiences to learn from.
- The relationship must meet the needs of the two people involved. If he doesn't meet your needs or if you don't meet his needs, then it's time to separate.
- Breakups are no fun at all and you may feel sad, but those feelings will go away. Don't sacrifice long-term happiness for short-lived pleasures.
Method 3 of 3: Raising Teen Boys
Step 1. Understand why he is angry
Teenage boys experience a surge in hormone (testosterone) which can reduce fear and make self-limiting decrease. That courage pushed him into dangerous activities simply because he couldn't process the dangers. He also tends to let emotions, especially anger, control his reactions.
Step 2. Create a structure
Adolescent boys need structure in their lives, as well as being supervised and directed by their parents. Structures are created not because of a lack of trust, but because of the biological fact that teenage boys have not yet developed the brain function to make safe choices based on consequences. As a parent, you must work with your child to establish a daily routine. Involve him, but make sure the end result is what he needs.
Step 3. Make sure he gets enough sleep
Sleep is essential for all ages, but teens need 8 to 10 hours of sleep each night to function properly. Ideally, teens should have regular sleep patterns. Regularity can improve sleep quality.
- Lack of sleep can reduce a teenager's ability to learn, listen, concentrate, and solve problems. If you're sleep deprived, teens can forget the simplest things, like someone's phone number or when they need to collect homework.
- Lack of sleep can also cause health problems, including acne, and encourage him to consume something unhealthy, such as coffee or soda.
- Teenagers' behavior is also affected if they are sleep deprived, such as irritability or irritability more quickly. He may be mean or rude to others, and will later regret it himself.
Step 4. Make him feel part of the family
The anger a teenage boy feels can make him feel that you (his parents) don't trust him. You need to be able to make him feel trusted and loved, while teaching him the importance of family and community.
- Encourage him to participate in family events and help the community.
- Teach him responsibility in managing finances.
- Show how to respect others, also respect their own rights and property.
- Ask him to do something, not tell him. Involve him when making the rules.
Step 5. Communicate with him effectively
Boys need more than just reminders or verbal instructions in order to understand what is needed or asked of them. In addition to providing verbal instructions, do the following:
- Look him in the eye when giving instructions.
- Ask him to repeat what you said.
- Use short and simple sentences.
- Allow him to respond and ask questions.
- Don't turn instructions into lectures.
Step 6. Help him understand responsibilities
Responsibility can be learned in many ways. Most teenagers learn from examples, namely by observing and imitating those who are responsible. However, teenagers can also learn from their mistakes and experience the consequences of irresponsible actions. As a cliché, the phrase “power and responsibility go hand in hand” is true. Youth must learn that power, rights, and responsibilities are all related. The best source to learn it is parents.
Step 7. Choose a dispute that is worth fighting for
Generally, teenagers are always changing. For example, her fashion sense changes with the trends. As a parent, you may not be able to keep up with and disagree with the clothes she chooses. Even if you want to make rules about clothing, consider giving in to trivial matters like clothes and remember that there are far more important things to regulate and argue about (like alcohol, drugs, curfews, etc.).
Another change that teenagers experience is mood. Mood swings are mostly caused by hormonal and developmental changes. In some cases, teens cannot control their emotions or reactions
Step 8. Realize that his friends have more influence than you
At the age of teenagers, friends will greatly influence actions and behavior. It's not that he doesn't love or respect you, but that's how he finds himself. Try not to be offended and don't get angry. Your anger will only make him withdraw and in turn make the relationship between child and parent so strained. Even if he doesn't show it, he still needs your support.
Step 9. Enforce the rules
Teenagers tend to push boundaries with anyone. One of them is breaking the rules (for example, he wants to know what curfew violation you can tolerate). Rules must be enforced, or the boundaries will continue to be violated. Rules in the home also affect how teens react to rules outside the home. Set an example of how important it is to follow the rules for him to imitate you.
Step 10. Recognize the signs to watch out for
There are no specific guidelines for “normal” adolescent behavior, but there are some behaviors that indicate a serious problem. Watch out for the signs below and seek professional help as soon as possible:
- Extreme weight gain or loss.
- Persistent sleep problems.
- Personality changes are quick, drastic, and long-lasting.
- Changed close friends suddenly.
- Skipping school and getting bad grades.
- All kinds of talk about suicide.
- Signs of smoking, drinking alcohol, and using drugs.
- Always getting into trouble at school, or with the police.
