The Lord said: “In the same way you, O wives, submit to your husbands, so that if any of them disobey the Word, they too will be won without a word by the actions of their wives, if they see how pure and godly their wives are.. Your adornment is not outwardly, that is, by braiding your hair, wearing gold jewelry or by wearing beautiful clothes, but your adornment is the hidden inner man with imperishable adornments that come from a gentle and peaceful spirit, which is very precious in the world. eyes of God . (1 Peter 3:1-4)
As a wife, have you ever thought about how to build a harmonious and happy home by being a good wife in a traditional Christian marriage between a man and a woman? As a couple who adheres to the traditions of the Christian church, you and your husband can determine for yourself how to have a relationship based on God's word and carry out each other's roles to fulfill the desires and needs of your partner.
Do the following instructions so that you can be a good wife and glorify God with your family.
Step
Step 1. Find peace by always relying on the Spirit of Christ in marriage
Take time to praise God with family members by singing spiritual songs to draw closer to God in silence and improve the way of life according to the teachings of Jesus. Study the Bible and be grateful for the opportunities and life that God has given you. Have a personal relationship with Jesus. Pray to Him when there is a problem, “do not rely on your own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5).
Step 2. Make the decision to build a happy family by living a loving life
“Happy” or JOY in English is an abbreviation of “Jesus” (Jesus), “Others” (others), and “Yourself” (self). Live life according to the words of Jesus: “Love others as yourself” by loving yourself as you love others. This is in accordance with the concept of a victorious life according to the teachings of Jesus, for example by eliminating the desire to control one's husband or other people and preferring a persuasive approach. JOY also means eliminating negative thought patterns that judge or judge others so that you can forgive yourself and others.
Step 3. Learn to pray wholeheartedly and effectively
It is written in the Bible: “Attend worship regularly” with your husband, with female friends, or alone. Pray together and pray for others too. Never stop praying to glorify God in every deed and word so that you live a life in union with Christ physically and spiritually. Jesus sits at the right hand of God who is always our Defender (Romans 8:34).
Step 4. Establish a lasting and happy relationship by being a person who is always cheerful, positive, and confident in the eyes of your husband so that he treats you well.
Criticizing and demeaning yourself in front of your husband or in a crowd when you are with your husband means underestimating his ability to choose women. Remember that he wants to be with you all the time and chose you to be his wife because you are an attractive person, even if you don't realize it. Be a good life partner for your husband because women will look more attractive if they always behave and have good intentions. Low self-esteem makes your life feel empty and this has a negative impact on marriage. Have fun every now and then and always help each other so that both of you live happily, instead of limiting or criticizing each other. Joke in a fun and humorous way as often as possible.
Step 5. Imagine what would happen if your husband suddenly died
Are you able to meet friends at least once a week or keep yourself busy with activities in the church community? Women who are not independent always need the support of their husbands to make up for their shortcomings. If the husband can no longer be relied on, they will become low self-esteem and always feel sad. Therefore, maintain good relations with female friends, relatives, and do activities to serve God so that you always have a pleasant activity.
Step 6. Express your wishes or opinions clearly without blaming each other
Don't expect your partner to always understand your wants and needs, unless they can read minds. Invite him to have a quiet discussion to explain and convey what you want, instead of gesturing and expecting him to understand and grant it. Tell me frankly if there are things that need to be improved. Christian friendships and relationships allow you to express your feelings calmly without dwelling on past mistakes. Sometimes, starting a conversation by saying: "I'm confused" or "I'm sad" can inspire a husband to ask, "What's wrong?" Use the words: “I feel…” as a key word, for example: “I feel ignored/underrated when you slam the door.” Don't use the word "you" in a blaming tone. Replace the sentence: "You make me sad" with "It makes me sad". Take responsibility for your desires and feelings.
Step 7. Don't rely on your partner to make your dreams come true
Husband and wife should strive for the best, but remember that everyone can make mistakes. Unfulfilled expectations will lead to frustration. However, couples who understand and care for each other will have a harmonious household, even though each has its shortcomings. Set standards according to ability, instead of having expectations that are too high, too idealistic, or unrealistic, for example: wanting to be abundant in wealth. Create a pleasant home atmosphere and do activities at home, for example: cooking dinner, instead of eating non-nutritious restaurant food.
Step 8. Work on errands together, especially if you both work outside the home
Try to make more time for the two of you to enjoy, for example by cooking, washing clothes, cleaning the house together and then relaxing together.
Step 9. Be tactful
The habit of nagging and grumbling will destroy relationships. For example: as long as the dishes are clean and unbroken, don't make a fuss about the "right way" to use the dishwasher. Let it work its own way. Don't be busy with trivial things. Focus on more important things. Instead of just complaining, point out the way you want while explaining once and then let him do it himself.
“Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife just as Christ is the head of the church.” (Ephesians 5:22) as long as he is not a criminal, does not do evil, and does not do violence to you, your children, or others.
Step 10. Remind your husband to put God's words into practice in the scriptures: “Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for it.” (Ephesians 5:25). If you don't feel loved, don't ask for attention or love. Ask nicely if you need help. Take time to chat or make out. The husband will give a good response, unless he is angry or busy.
Step 11. Please your husband with words or attitudes that are not always directed at sex
Start doing this habit in public by showing pleasure when your husband compliments or gives attention. Smile while blushing and say: “Thank you.” Once in a while, take your husband for a race run or look for hidden items. Have fun and show intimacy when the two of you are with other people, such as when you are with your family, shopping, etc. Affection and pleasure will continue when you both have privacy.
Step 12. Take care of the quality of sexual life
If sex is not fun, say how you feel. Discuss other healthy ways to have sex. If your husband suggests a way you don't like, don't spoil the situation by being negative, because he'll feel rejected. At the very least, have a good talk or maybe give it a try, but don't have sex that makes you feel depressed. You can suggest the way you like. In addition to maintaining emotional intimacy, maintain physical intimacy because both things are equally important.
“Do not distance yourself from one another, except by mutual agreement for a time, so that you may have an opportunity to pray. After that you must return to live together, so that the devil does not tempt you, because you cannot bear temperance. (1Corinthians 7:5).
Step 13. Accept your partner, especially their bad qualities and habits
Learn to accept your partner for who they are so you can appreciate them so they don't have to change for you. He can give a lot if he is allowed to be himself. Just like you, your husband is a person who is constantly evolving. So let him develop himself as he pleases and support you in the same way.
Step 14. Respect yourself by appearing as a polite woman in public. "So should women. She should dress appropriately, modestly and modestly, her hair should not be in braids, nor should she wear gold or pearls or expensive clothes.” (1 Timothy 2:9). Tell your husband that you want to appear polite in public and will be a sexy woman only when you are alone with him. Many temptations come from women who feel the need to appear sensual to annoy "other men" or vice versa. Be a polite woman with a polite appearance.
Step 15. Be forgiving, repentant, and trusting in God:
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Learn to forgive your partner. As an imperfect human being, your husband sometimes makes you disappointed or hurt. If that's the case, you can choose whether you want to retaliate and hold grudges or remember how patient and forgiving God is to you and then forgive your husband as you yourself have been forgiven by God.
Be a Good Christian Wife in Traditional Marriage Step 15 -
Repent. You both are not perfect. According to God's words: “But the grace that He has given us is greater than that. Therefore he said: God opposes the proud, but has mercy on the humble” (James 4:6). Have a good relationship with your husband and God in humility and repent if you have done something wrong or behaved badly.
Be a Good Christian Wife in Traditional Marriage Step 16 -
Believe in God. The Word of God in 1 Corinthians 13:7, “He (Love) covers all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
Be a Good Christian Wife in Traditional Marriage Step 17
Step 16. Focus on the best in your partner and life
Don't just pay attention to your husband's shortcomings, but look at him as God sees him. Focus on the qualities of your partner that you like, always trust him, and give him compliments. For example: “Honey, God is working in your life to make you more like Jesus every day.” Even if this hasn't happened yet, say it with conviction! This is what is called faith by works. Belief in God is able to realize the unseen.
Tips
- Be supportive to your husband by providing motivation and praise as often as possible. This doesn't mean you shouldn't raise objections, but there's a difference between expressing your will and criticizing your abilities. Show loyalty and love consistently when you are alone or with your husband in public or just the two of you. Appreciate the harmony and patience between the two of you so that your husband pays attention and respects you in the same way.
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The decision to build a happy home rests with both of you as long as you continue to grow as a happy couple in Jesus. However, you can both learn how to be a good partner by applying your knowledge. Strive with passion and joy to become a loving follower of Christ.
“15 For this is the will of God, that by doing good you may silence the pettiness of the foolish. 16 Live as free people and not like those who abuse that freedom to cover their crimes, but live as servants of God. 17 Honor everyone, love your brethren, fear God, honor the king!” (1 Peter 2:15-17)
Warning
- Do not tolerate if your husband commits acts of violence. If he wants to come back by showing how much he loves you and apologizing over and over again, remember that harsh treatment can repeat itself and get worse. Read the wikiHow article “How to Recognize Manipulative or Controlling Behavior in a Relationship.”
- Don't be a controlling, angry, or aggressive wife. Tell the truth about what happened, instead of lying, wanting to control your partner, or being selfish…
- Make sure you are safe if your husband is violent, even if only once. Depending on the situation you're in, staying safe could mean leaving your house, calling the police, or telling someone what happened to someone who can help you. Whatever you do, don't continue to suffer because of the person whose behavior is horrible and break up with the abuser (physical, spiritual, or emotional).
- If he compel You do something, don't appreciate your help, beat you, forbid you from seeing relatives or female friends, abuse you, you can be sure you are in a troubled relationship. A good man never forces others to get what he wants. Tell someone about your problem or consult a counselor.
