Being a good wife is never easy, even if you have a near perfect husband. To be a good wife, you must be able to communicate effectively, keep the intimacy alive, be a good friend to your husband, and maintain your identity. If you want to know how, follow these steps.
Step
Method 1 of 4: Be a good friend
Step 1. Meet your husband's needs without complicating your own needs
If he needs more sexual activity, then think about the possibilities. If he needs time with friends or hobbies, don't be possessive. He will be happier and thank you because you appreciate him. You should meet all of his needs or at least one of them. However, don't do it if you feel uncomfortable.
- If he wants more sex, then consider doing it. If you are not interested, think about why you are not interested in doing so.
- If your husband wants to hang out with his friends, let him spend time with them and you can spend time with your friends too.
- If your husband wants to satisfy his hobby, let him do it. He will grow as a person by doing the things he loves. This will benefit both of your relationship.
Step 2. Be your husband's best friend
Build genuine intimacy and unconditional acceptance. Show a willingness to accept criticism and believe in yourself that your relationship can withstand conflict. Enjoy moments of nostalgia and fun together. Provide magazine or newspaper articles that you think will interest him. You can also just sit around in a quiet and friendly atmosphere. Even silence will be meaningful when your marriage is strengthened by true friendship. Even silence can show the strength of your marital relationship because of true friendship.
- Meaningful friendships should always be nurtured so that your life is always full of love and laughter. In the end, your husband has to be someone you turn to.
- It wasn't his friends or uncles that made him feel special. Be the most pleasant person to your husband. You should be the first person he turns to when he wants to laugh or cry.
Step 3. Create a dream together
Never forget to share your dream with your husband. Collect all your dreams. If you dream that you want to retire and settle in a warm area or travel abroad on your twentieth wedding anniversary, tell what you want. Try to make it happen. If you and your husband's dreams collide, then there will be a limp when trying to make it happen. It could also be that one of you is not getting what he wants.
- If you both have the same dream, then it is something healthy. However, make sure that none of your dreams conflict.
- You need to talk about your dream even if it seems exaggerated. This is useful to keep your spirit alive.
Step 4. Maintain your identity
Make sure you still have an interesting and fun life. If your husband leaves you tomorrow, will you still have friends you can meet at least once a month, still be able to visit your hobby community, or do your usual sports? Otherwise, your husband will always be trying to fill the void he can't fill and will feel overwhelmed. As you develop as an individual, there will be a lot going on in your relationship. You'll be a better friend if you can take advantage of your hobbies, experiences, and insights.
- If your husband thinks he's the single best thing in your life, then he's stuck limiting himself.
- Continue a hobby or activity that is meaningful to you that was done before marriage. Even if you can't do everything, make time to do the activities that matter most to you.
Step 5. Work together to deal with stress
Men and women face stress all day long. Do what you can to help each other deal with stress. Make sure that you are able to cope with the stress that will put pressure on your marriage. If one of you is really stressed out while the other doesn't understand, then something is wrong here.
- Help your husband deal with his stress. Talk to him and give him extra attention when he's having a bad day. Don't make her feelings worse by getting angry when she feels tired or left out.
- When you are stressed, let your husband know how you feel, so he can help you with household matters.
Method 2 of 4: Communicate Effectively
Step 1. Express your feelings and needs effectively
Your husband has no supernatural powers. If you want something, ask for it. If something isn't right, say so. Don't signal or think he'll "know." This won't solve the problem. If you want to express your feelings, you have to be able to express them in a positive tone and listen to what your husband has to say instead of getting angry. Here's how:
- Say "your message" Instead of blaming your husband for not being able to fulfill your wishes, focus the conversation on yourself. For example, tell him, "I feel left out if I can't see you until 6:30 every night."
- Listen to what he has to say. If he says something, repeat what he said so he knows you understand. For example, “I hear you. You worry about finances and that's why you work late.”
- Don't criticize. Let him finish his sentence before you respond. After he has finished speaking, offer a solution. You can say, "I'm willing to live frugally if I can be with you often."
Step 2. Choose the topic you want to discuss
There are issues that are better for discussion and those that are not. If you spend time lecturing your husband on meaningless issues, he won't listen to you when big problems arise.
- Criticism can destroy a relationship. For example, there is no need to lecture your husband on how to use the "right" dishwasher. As long as the dishes being washed are clean and unbroken, that's enough. Let him wash the dishes in his own way. Don't worry about the little things.
- Do not criticize your husband without providing a constructive solution. Try to be calm and rational, because high emotions can easily turn a discussion into an argument. If you criticize everything he does, he will ignore you.
- You should praise your husband for doing the right thing instead of arguing about the things he did wrong. This will make him listen more to you. He will be happier with you.
Step 3. Be understanding when you discuss a problem with your husband
Have a proper discussion. Don't let your anger get the better of you because it can cause you to say things that you will regret later. Even if you disagree with your husband, you need to respect his opinion and point of view. To be a good wife, you need to understand that not everything can be mutually agreed upon. No couple has the same morals and beliefs. You both need to learn to work through the problem and not be able to force each other's will.
- Talk to your husband at the right time. Don't talk about problems all the time. Don't talk about problems before dinner, when your husband is paying the bills, or in a busy situation, such as when he's fixing your car. Never start an argument in front of children.
- When you are wrong, admit it. You need to learn to respond to arguments and stay rational so you can recognize your mistakes and apologize.
Step 4. Talk to your husband, but not about him
Talking about her husband behind her back is an act of disloyalty. When married, the first loyalty is to your partner, not to your family or social group.
- Complaining about your husband to friends and family will not only not solve the problem, it will also lead them to have a negative view of your relationship.
- Friends and family may think they know what's best for you, but they don't know your relationship as well as you do. They may inadvertently give you bad advice.
Method 3 of 4: Be accepting
Step 1. Have realistic expectations
Neither you nor your husband are perfect. Unmet expectations tend to be frustrating. If your expectations are too high or unrealistic, then you need to set a standard that is achievable. For example, it is unfair to expect things in excess. If you want to be together more often, realize that desire comes at a cost.
- Remember that no relationship is perfect. If you expect to always be with your husband and be 100 percent happy, then it's not going to work.
- Have realistic financial expectations. Maybe you and your husband's financial situation is still not what it was five or ten years ago. This is normal. Try to appreciate what you do instead of expecting more.
Step 2. Don't change your husband's personality
Accept him as he is and let him know that you would never want him to change for you. If you give your husband space to be himself, he will be willing to do anything for you. Your husband is a growing individual just like you. Love him as he is and vice versa he will love you unconditionally.
- Accept that you and your husband are not the same person. He won't always see the world the same way you do. That is something positive. Side by side with someone who is not the same as you will make your relationship richer.
- There's a difference between asking your husband to clean the house and making him a fan of hiking when he hates the outdoors. You can ask him to do better at other things, but you can't force him to like everything you do.
Step 3. Adjust to the changes
You will experience a number of crises together, from losing your job to the death of a parent. You may experience severe financial difficulties or suddenly become rich and don't know what to do. Your marriage can withstand these changes if you are willing to keep in touch and be flexible. Here are some things to keep in mind as you learn to accept change:
- Remember that no matter what happens, you and your husband will face it as a team, not as opponents facing each other. Dealing with problems together will make them easier to deal with.
- Accept changes in love life. Even if you and your husband are still passionate about sex, don't be disappointed if he doesn't want to make love every night or kiss you twenty times a day like he did when he was a newlywed. You can still maintain the power of love without having to be the same as when you first got married.
- Accept body changes. Even if you work hard to stay in shape and eat a healthy diet, you have to accept that your 50-year-old body isn't as lean as it was at 25. This is something normal.
Step 4. Accept the fact that having children will change a relationship
Your relationship with your husband will no doubt change and develop when children come into the household. This situation does not mean it will change for the worse. You will spend a lot of time focusing on your children rather than your relationship with your husband. Accept that this will change your relationship with your husband. Strive for this change to strengthen the relationship in new ways.
- To help get through this transition, work together to spend time with the kids. Don't do this alone without your husband's involvement.
- Look for fun activities that the whole family can do to keep you and your husband together raising the kids.
- Strengthen your relationship by becoming one with your husband. You and your husband must agree on how to raise and discipline your child. There is no such thing as a “good cop” and a bad cop”. Put yourself and your husband in each other's shoes while controlling the kids.
Step 5. Accept shared mistakes
If you want to be accepted as a wife, then you must be able to accept your husband's mistakes and sincerely appreciate his apology (as long as it doesn't make it difficult for you). If you hold a grudge for too long, you won't be able to appreciate the good things that are in your husband. The best way is to accept his apology and move on instead of holding onto past grudges.
- Also accept the mistakes you made. Don't focus so much on being the perfect wife that when you're wrong, you can't admit it.
- Admitting your mistakes will help you and your husband grow as a couple.
Method 4 of 4: Take time to make out
Step 1. Take time to “date
” No matter how busy you are, how stressful your job is, or how many children you have, you need to make time to create a romantic evening with your husband. If you don't have kids, take time out once a week, every two weeks, or as often as you can. As ridiculous as it sounds, dress up and go to a beautiful and special place that can renew your romantic relationship. It can also be a way to get some fresh air outside.
Your "date" doesn't have to be romantic. You can go bowling, mini-golf or an evening jog. Do whatever you can to connect and spend time together
Step 2. Schedule sex activities in your life
You may feel that sexual activity should be spontaneous. However, if it's not scheduled, you may start to forget about it. Without the intimate acceptance and love of frequent lovemaking, a person can become dissatisfied, complain, and end up hurt by rejection and even angry. Remember that making love can provide both vital intimacy and physical release for both of you.
Often in a relationship, husband and wife have different needs and expectations regarding the frequency of physical intimacy. Look for something that can mediate happiness between you and your husband. Couples who feel responsible for meeting the needs of their loved ones tend to be happier in their relationship
Step 3. Kiss Passionately
As time passes, maybe you will kiss your partner more often and not do a french kiss. Do the activity of kissing at least sixteen seconds with your husband every day, even if you don't have much time for more intimate relationships than that. You don't want your husband to think that kissing you is no different than kissing your children. The passion must remain in your kiss.
When making love, do not immediately oriented to sex. Kissing is a good warm-up. Make sure the activity of kissing becomes an integral part of the activity of making love
Step 4. Make your room a sanctuary for sex
Avoid televisions, laptops, and work-related objects. Your room should be used for sleeping and sexual activity. If you bring children's toys in, discuss the evening news, or do extra work from the office, then you don't think of your room as a special room. Keeping a place in your home to sleep and have sex will make love and lovemaking feel more special and vital to your relationship.
You and your husband can work together to move objects that are not relevant to the bedroom. This activity can be something fun for both of you
Tips
- Talk about everything instead of running away when problems arise. You got married for a reason and promised to be together forever for a reason too.
- A woman who is happy with herself is the ideal type of wife. Remember, "If you're not happy, then no one is happy."
- If your marriage is in trouble, seek counselling. Divorce is painful for married couples and their children. Strive for your marriage by understanding each other and working to fulfill it.
- Many wives define their roles through religious beliefs. However, in a marriage where the husband and wife have different religious backgrounds, they may have different visions of the definition of a good wife. Conservative views that assume that a good wife is an obedient wife can make the wife unable to develop herself into an active partner. Respect your beliefs, but also respect your needs.
- Happy married couples have higher health, well-being, and happiness than people who are single or divorced. Many studies have shown that happily married couples have more satisfying sex lives and are less prone to depression or domestic violence. There was also a decrease in cases of heart disease, cancer, and stroke.
