Basically, flirting with someone shows your romantic interest in that person in a playful way. If you're ready to seduce someone, you'll know that you're romantically attracted to them, and that you like them! You may be nervous about starting flirting and stepping out of your safe zone, but fear not, because it's natural to be nervous around someone you really like, and there are actually a number of ways you can appear confident and initiate flirtation. success. Whether you're flirting via text message, online, or in person, it's important that you strike a balance between expressing your feelings and keeping the other person curious. If you want to master seduction and need help getting to know someone better, this article provides some general pointers.
Step
Method 1 of 2: Flirting Face-to-face
Step 1. Make eye contact
Eye contact is the best and easiest thing you can do to start flirting. Look deeply into his eyes while still averting his eyes from time to time so that the atmosphere does not become too tense. The following ways you can consider in making eye contact:
- Let yourself be caught stealing glances. Don't stare at him, but give him an occasional glance. Keep doing this until he catches your eye. Hold your gaze for a moment, smile, then shift your gaze.
- Look deeply into her eyes when you speak, especially at important points in the conversation (for example, when you are giving a compliment).
- Blink or raise your eyebrows. This may sound tacky, but it can work if you use it once in a while. Do it when you're looking at someone across the room, or if you're speaking in a group and say something that's actually meant for him or her.
- Girls can try to look at the guy they like by lowering their gaze, then raising it back up to the guy's face from between half-closed eyelids and eyelashes.
Step 2. Smile
You may smile automatically when you talk to someone you like, but you can use that smile to your advantage, even before the conversation begins. You can even smile at the person when you pass them in the hallway, or when you see them across the room. You don't need to smile widely, but a simple faint smile will suffice to reap these benefits. Try these smile variations:
- Smile slowly. If you're looking at someone without speaking to them, try showing a smile that slowly breaks, not a smile that widens instantly. A slow, gentle smile is generally considered sexy.
- Smile when you make eye contact. If you suddenly look into someone's eyes, flash them a smile to create extra attraction. (If it's a genuine smile, the person will know it without even looking at your mouth, because a genuine smile makes your eyes crinkle, and this is known as a "Duchenne smile").
- Try to smile with your eyes too, not just with your mouth. Make your whole face glow when you smile.
Step 3. Start talking
Introduce yourself or be mysterious (the choice is yours). If you don't already know the person you're flirting with, an introduction (or no-introduction interaction) can be an excellent way to flirt. Don't follow the urge to use a tacky opening sentence. Saying "Hi" followed by a brief introduction or question is much more effective and less forced.
- If your crush doesn't know your name and you're naturally a gregarious person, try introducing yourself at the right time. Just say something as simple as "Hi, I'm [name]. And your name is…?" Make sure that you hear the person's name. To keep his name in mind, try repeating it after he's told you. Like, "Lili. I love that name."
- Or, if you want to make him more curious, try to keep your identity anonymous for a while. If the person really wants to know, he or she will ask the people around you or continue to chase you.
Step 4. Take the initiative to open a conversation
Whether you already know the person or not, a chat is a great way to continue flirting. The person you are courting will be impressed by your courage and confidence. Here are some guidelines:
- Talk to someone you don't know. Perhaps the best way to start a conversation is to start with an observation that ends with a question, like, "Wow, it's been raining this week, hasn't it?" or "This place is really full, isn't it?" What you say is not important. You're just trying to get the person to talk to you.
- Find what you have in common with people you already know. If you've known the person before, have a chat based on shared experiences or interests. For example, you could talk about a class the two of you took together, or about the means of transportation you both use to work. Just like before, the topic itself is not important, the important thing is that you try to get him to chat with you.
- Observe the response. If the person responds happily, continue the conversation. If the person doesn't respond, seems busy or uninterested, he or she may not be interested in your flirting.
Step 5. Keep the conversation light
Don't discuss anything too personal during a chat. Talk about your surroundings, events you've recently seen, etc. Don't talk about personal information (like religion, finances, relationships, education, etc.), unless he really likes intellectual debate and can do it without getting too emotional. In general, it's best to avoid arguing about topics that are personally related to both of you (such as your religion or hers), and to talk about topics that are not personally related to either of you.
- It's easier to flirt if the two of you talk about light, fun topics, such as pets, television shows, or favorite vacation spots. This doesn't mean you have to make yourself look stupid when flirting, but it does mean that you should relax and avoid going too deep into the subject for a while.
- Have fun. Having fun means not taking it too seriously, daring to be a little silly, punching the person playfully, or talking about something completely unrelated and unexpected. It also means that you don't push yourself too hard during the chat.
Step 6. Use body language to convey your intentions
Nonverbal cues can say much more about your feelings than the words that come out of your mouth can tell you, so make sure that you convey how you feel. Try the following:
- Display "open" body language. Don't cross your arms or legs, as this generally indicates that you want to stay away from the person.
- Turn your body towards the person. Stand or sit until you are facing the person you are flirting with. Turn your body towards him, or turn your toes toward him.
- Get rid of the "touch barrier," which is the feeling of tension that prevents physical touch from happening. Relax, initiate physical contact by touching the person on the forearm as you speak, or by "accidentally" walking too close and touching the person.
- Play with your hair (women only). Playing with your hair is usually a sign of nervousness, which is good if you're attracted to the person, because you "want" to let them know you're nervous, and because that means you're attracted to them. To convey this until he understands, just gently twist a section of your hair with your fingers as you speak.
Step 7. Touch him
During your first few touches to your crush, be careful not to "trap" him or her. Depending on the area of the touch, the contact should last long enough not to appear accidental, but not too long. Avoid squeezing his hand or arm, and instead use movements such as pretending to wipe the dust off his arm, "accidentally" nudging his leg or knee without pulling your own leg.
All of these touches can be rejected without causing embarrassment or offence, so if your crush isn't ready for that kind of physical contact, you won't have to force him to completely reject you
Step 8. Compliment him early in the conversation
This may sound presumptuous, but letting him know that you're interested in dating or dating before a close friendship was established is the easiest way to avoid thinking that you just want to be friends. Believe in yourself, and don't let opportunities pass you by. You never know when you have the next chance. Here are some techniques you can try:
- Maintain eye contact when you compliment. Inadvertently looking the other way can make you appear insincere.
- Lower the pitch and volume of your voice a little. Giving compliments in a lower-pitched voice and at a lower volume than your normal voice when speaking will appear intimate and sexy. After all, this may draw the person closer to hear what you have to say.
- Take the other interests of your crush to your advantage. If you know this person is dating (or interested in) someone else, you can use this by praising him or her to your advantage.
- Try to include compliments in the ongoing conversation. For example, if the girl you like is complaining about having a bad day, say something like "I'm so sad when someone as beautiful as you is feeling down. How can I help you?"
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Be careful when complimenting appearances. A girl might be happy if you look into her eyes, but she'll probably remember you as a creepy freak if you're too quick to tell she has a great body. Try to be safe and stick to the following physical parts:
- Eye
- Smile
- Lip
- Hair
- Hand
Step 9. Keep your interactions short and enjoyable
Remember that the key to creating demand is to make supplies scarce, so try to limit your interactions with the people you are flirting with. Don't chat with him every day. Make the interaction between the two of you special and do it once every week.
- Don't let your conversation drag on for more than five or ten minutes. The longer the conversation goes on, the more likely it is that you'll both be stuck in an awkward silence.
- Let him approach you. Once you've worked on initiating an interaction and piqued his interest, pull away a little and see if he's looking for you to interact. This can be a great way to gauge his level of interest as well as build tension.
Step 10. Finish your business
If your flirting has made it this far, and you want to get to know the person better, it's time to see if you can turn it into a date. Here are some approaches you can take:
- Ask him if he has any plans for a specific date. For example, you might be able to ask, "What are your plans for Saturday night?" Try to make it an open-ended question (a question that requires an explanation), not a question that requires just a yes or no answer, as you will gain more information with open-ended questions. Don't ask him what he's going to do tonight, or even tomorrow. Try to schedule the date a few days later, so you don't seem overly impatient for a date.
- Invite him to attend/attend certain events, and ask if he would like to come. This is the best approach if you are trying to organize a group date. You could say, for example, "We're going to see a movie on Friday, and I'd be very happy if you'd come with us."
- Say it directly. If you feel very confident, just say it straight without pretending. For example, you could say, "I would love to date you. When do you have free time?"
Method 2 of 2: Flirting with Text Messages or Chat Apps
Step 1. Keep your approach relaxed
Don't let yourself get so nervous that you forget how to chat. It's better if you try to stay calm, then open the conversation in a relaxed way. If you've never chatted with him online before, maybe you can find a good reason to chat, such as asking about homework or talking about a sports team you both enjoy. If you've never texted her before, make sure that she knows you and that she doesn't feel weird or horrified by your text messages. Here are some examples of opening sentences for chat via text message or chat:
- "Hi, how are you?"
- "Have you seen/heard of [an incident that you both know about]?"
- "How are you this week?"
Step 2. Don't talk too much about yourself
Most people feel most comfortable talking about themselves, because that's a topic they understand well. Don't go the "easy way" and talk about yourself endlessly, but encourage your crush to talk about themselves. However, you can and should occasionally give him your personal opinion to help him ask the opposite question about you. The key is to let him feel curious and interested in things that have to do with you.
- This tactic is usually useful in two ways: Not only to keep the conversation going, but also to help you find out more about your crush.
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You don't have to know any prior information about the person to be able to perform this step. If you don't know much about him, you can ask:
- "How are you today?"
- "So, what do you do in your spare time?"
- If you know very little about the person, focus on hobbies or interests that you already know. For example, maybe he really likes basketball, or you know he really likes reading. The sentence, "Did you see the game last night?" or "Have you read any good books lately?" would be an excellent chat starter.
Step 3. Know when to ask for more information
You can keep the conversation fun and interesting without being too probing on personal topics. For example, it's a good idea to ask him about specific things he actually likes about cross-country running; but asking him for more details about his relationship with family or close friends is too much and too urgent. Here are some examples of how to ask for more information in a seductive fashion:
- "So you're going to have a fun night online or are you planning to do something more exciting tonight?"
- "Are you ready to beat your opponent in tonight's match?"
- "I saw a cute cat in your profile picture. Is that cat a close friend you spend a lot of time alone with?"
Step 4. Compliment your crush from the start of the chat
Don't be afraid to skip this step just like that. This may seem difficult, but it's really important. A compliment shows that you may be interested in dating, and distances yourself from the horrible idea of just wanting to be friends. If you don't compliment your crush and just chat like normal friends, you may soon lose your chance to do so. Here are some basic examples of compliments you can make:
- If you don't know him that well and are trying to get to know him better, use compliments that point to this. Say compliments like: "You're so amazing. I love talking to you," or "I can't believe I got to know someone as interesting as you."
- Try to include compliments in the conversation. For example, if the girl you like is complaining about having a bad day, say something like "I'm so sad when someone as beautiful as you is feeling down. How can I help you?"
Step 5. Be brave
If the previous suggestions didn't appeal to you enough, just get up the courage to compliment your crush with a clear compliment. Try a few examples of these compliments, using good qualities that resonate with the person:
- "I hope you realize that you are very beautiful/cute/amazing/the person I like to chat with the most/etc."
- "I'm sorry if I'm being too presumptuous, but I really have to say that you are amazing/amazing/very beautiful/etc."
Step 6. Don't praise too much
Avoid making overly emotional compliments too early. Letting someone get curious about how you feel about them can increase your attractiveness and build a slightly mysterious impression on you. The goal is not to make him wonder if you like him or not, but to make him wonder how deeply you like him. If you immediately say "I really like you" or "I've always felt that you're so sexy," you're taking the mystery out of it.
However, you can send a text message such as "You look so cute in that new sweater today" or another comment that is fun and seductive, without revealing too much about your feelings
Step 7. Convince your crush to go after you, don't push yourself to him
Sure, flirting should let the other person know that you like him, but it's not advisable to open up about your feelings without him trying to figure it out at all. Instead, you need to flatter him enough so he knows you're attracted to him, while still letting him wonder how much you care about him. To achieve this goal, try to offer compliments that are objective, not subjective. Here are some examples of compliments, both objective and subjective:
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" I really like your beautiful eyes. " This compliment looks good on the surface, and may be appreciated. However, a common mistake in making romantic compliments is to keep using the phrase, "I like [the particular trait being complimented]." This kind of compliment shows the person that your heart is captivated by his charm. This is fine if the two of you are already in a strong relationship, but if it comes out too early it can make you come off as "easy."
"Your eyes are very beautiful, very beautiful eyes." While these two sentences technically convey that you like the person's eyes, the second sentence is more of an observation than a personal opinion. This kind of compliment implies that you find the person attractive, but doesn't emphasize it outright. Then the recipient will be flattered and curious to know how attractive he or she thinks you are
Step 8. Do seduction gently
Since you can't use gestures to communicate through text or chat, you'll need to rely on your words to keep the conversation light and fun. Use jokes that only certain people know (based on situations the two of you have been in together), humorous sarcasm ("Yeah, YOU DEFINITELY look like a giant in the morning;)"), and exaggerating jokes ("You probably can do this a million times better than me") at the start of the conversation.
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Make it clear that you are joking. The downside of using written communication is that you can't always read the feelings behind the words. If you want to seduce him by teasing him, make extra sure that you're joking. You can use an image of a smiling face with a wink, all caps, or an exclamation point to convey this. Just don't overdo all of this to seem tacky to the person.
If you've already sent something that could be misinterpreted, make it clear what you mean right away. Write something like "(kidding)" as a quick rescue
Step 9. Make him always want more
Even if you want to keep texting this person, it's best to stop before the chat gets boring (because all chats are bound to turn boring at some point). The best way to avoid awkward conversation breaks is to leave the conversation before it happens. Ending the conversation on a good note will make the other person look forward to the next conversation session.
- Arrange for the next interaction before you end the conversation. Say something like "Hey, so we'll see each other tomorrow?" or "We'll chat again sometime, okay?"
- If you're chatting online, say that you enjoyed the chat, right before you end it. The words don't need to be too complicated. A simple sentence such as "It was fun to chat," or "I enjoyed chatting with you," should suffice. If you are chatting via text message, you can convey it in more relaxed words.
- Be careful not to over-praise him. Your compliments will mean less if you compliment every positive thing that person has. It's better to save the compliments for meaningful things that really matter to them, such as skills they are really proud of.
Step 10. Don't take it too seriously
Remember that flirting is an activity that should be fun, so don't be disappointed if your efforts don't work. Not all interactions will be perfect. Stay positive, and try again next time with someone else. Just like everything else, flirting takes practice. Seduction also doesn't have to have an end goal, because not all seduction has to be successful in creating a dating event. At times, you may make a flirtation just because you want to do it, without expecting that it will lead to anything else entirely.
Flirting can help you meet new people, feel more comfortable with yourself, and learn to get along. You don't have to push yourself too hard to make the seduction take on other meanings or to make it work perfectly
Tips
- Don't complain when you seduce him. Remember, the world doesn't revolve around you alone. If you complain too much, other people will feel you are depressed and they will avoid you. This is also true when it comes to constantly insulting yourself, which is not a sign of humility. This behavior is just another form of being too self-centered.
- Don't use your cell phone (including don't send text messages) when you're flirting with her. This can give the impression that you are more interested in talking to the other person who is not there than with him or her, or that you are already in a relationship.
- If you're flirting with a girl and are thinking about starting physical contact, test the situation with an appropriate attitude. For example, reach out for your hand when she might need help with balance, such as when she's getting in or out of a car, or when she's avoiding puddles or other uneven surfaces. How does he respond when you reach out? Does he seem receptive? Or did he quickly let it go?
- Use the right seduction according to the situation. Meeting up in a crowded library or dance hall, for example, might not be the right situation for too much chatter. In these situations, smile, show your concern, and wait for a spontaneous opportunity to meet a certain point, such as a book table in the middle or a building lobby. Don't follow him all the time while feeling too nervous to approach him, as this will make you look weird. Talk to him at the first opportunity that comes up.
- Don't flirt with someone who doesn't have a romantic interest in you, unless you're 100% sure that he or she isn't romantically interested in you either. If you do, you run the risk of him accidentally liking you, and this will lead to embarrassing moments and uncomfortable interactions afterward.
- Let go of any overly demanding attitude you may have. This is an early sign of obsessive nature, and obsession is a terrible trait. People who are so demanding have an unbalanced and unstable personality, because their happiness depends too much on others, not on a stable self-esteem within themselves. If you show signs of breaking down if someone doesn't want to be your friend or romantic partner, the fun that is a fun feature of flirting will be lost.
- Seduction can not be done just like that in every situation. A funeral, for example, is generally not the right situation to seduce someone. Seducing someone at work is usually also not a good thing to do. If you happen to seduce someone at work, display a good attitude and behavior, and don't push if the person isn't interested.
- If you don't feel comfortable asking the person for their phone number, try giving them yours. If he is really interested in you, he will call you. You can also provide your e-mail address.
