The death of a pet is very difficult for everyone, but children may have a more difficult time dealing with the death of a pet. It will be difficult for the child to understand what is happening and it will be difficult for him to deal with the grief. There are several things you can do to help your child deal with the death of a pet, including being honest with your child, listening to him, offering reassurance, and helping him to capture memories about the pet.
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Part 1 of 3: Explaining Pet Death to Your Child
Step 1. Tell your child right away
Sometimes people don't want to tell their child right away about a dead pet because talking about it can be very difficult. When a pet dies, it's best to let your child know as soon as it happens rather than avoiding or delaying the conversation. Your child will feel betrayed if you delay notifying her of the death of her pet.
Step 2. Be honest while cutting back on details that could traumatize your child
It's important to be honest with your child and avoid phrases like "sleep" and "nothing" as these words can confuse your child. Tell them plainly that the pet is dead and there is nothing else to do.
Don't say details that could traumatize him. For example, don't describe the cause of your pet's death to your child
Step 3. Explain euthanasia only when your child is old enough to understand it
The concept of euthanasia may be difficult for young children (aged 5 years and under). Older kids may find it easier to understand, but you may have to answer some of the tough questions he asks too.
For example, your child may ask if euthanasia is the same as killing an animal. Do your best to answer honestly, but don't go into too much detail to prevent your child from becoming more upset
Step 4. Prepare for the child's reaction
Children's reactions will vary depending on their age and previous experience with death. For example, a young child may feel very sad and will look fine in a few minutes, but a teenager will respond with anger and walk away.
Remember that everyone responds to death in different ways. Even if your child seems fine, he may be trying to sort out the confusing emotions inside of him
Part 2 of 3: Calming Children
Step 1. Listen to your child when he wants to talk
Make sure he knows that you are willing to listen if he wants to talk. He may want to talk about it right away, or a few days later, or not at all. If your child decides to talk about it, give him your full attention.
- Let your child express his feelings while you listen.
- Offer to cry on your shoulder if he starts to cry.
- Reassure your child that these emotions will be difficult now, but will improve over time.
- When you are done talking, hug your child.
Step 2. Calm the child
The child may feel guilty or worry about the death of his pet. Some children will feel that they caused their pet's death or feel that they did not take good care of them while their pet is still alive or feel that their pet can still be saved. Make sure you calm the child when dealing with the source of his guilt.
For example, if your child is concerned that more can be done to save his pet, reassure the vet that they are doing their best to save him
Step 3. Answer all of the child's questions as best you can
Your child may have a lot of questions about the death of a pet, especially if it's the first time he's faced death. Do your best to answer these questions, but remember that you can say, "I don't know."
- For example, if your child asks about the afterlife for animals, you might want to use your religious teachings to help answer the question, or you could choose an open answer by saying, "I'm not sure." You can explain what some people believe, and if you're not sure what's going to happen, you can tell your child. Then, you can express any image you have of what the pet is going through with your child right now, such as eating all the treats your dog can eat without an upset stomach and a wide expanse of grass and warm sunshine.
- Some questions must be answered in a straightforward and clear manner. For example, if he asks if his pet suffers when he dies, you should be honest, but still try to calm him down. You could say, "Fido was in pain when he was examined by the vet, but the doctor gave him medicine to make the pain go away before he died."
Step 4. Encourage your child to maintain a normal routine
It can be tempting to let your child skip soccer practice or miss a friend's birthday because he's feeling down, but it's best to keep him active and social. If he starts to stay away from various activities and from his friends, it will harm the child in the long run.
Step 5. Control your emotions around your child
Remember that it's okay to cry in front of your child, but don't let your emotions get out of control. For example, don't cry in front of your child. This will frighten him or burden him. Make sure you step back if you start to feel overwhelmed by the emotions you're feeling.
Step 6. Watch for signs your child is struggling with grief
In some situations, children may find it difficult to give up their beloved pet. In this situation, counseling may be the best option. You can talk to the school's BK (Counseling Counseling) teacher to arrange a meeting or find a special children's therapist. The following may indicate your child is having a hard time dealing with grief:
- Constant sadness.
- Prolonged sadness (more than a month).
- Difficulty at school.
- Trouble sleeping or other physical symptoms that started after the pet died.
Part 3 of 3: Remembering a Pet That Has Died
Step 1. Make a special celebration to bury or sow the ashes of a deceased pet
This process of burial or sprinkling of ashes can be a good way to help children say goodbye and grieve. Plan a special celebration in honor of your pet. You can even ask your child to help plan the celebration, if you feel like he wants to.
Step 2. Invite your child to express his feelings through pictures or letters
He may find it helpful to draw a drawing of his dead pet or write a letter to his pet expressing his feelings. Ask if any of these activities sound interesting to your child and offer support.
- You can guide him by sitting next to him and offering to help when he asks for advice on what to draw or what to say in a letter.
- After your child has finished drawing or writing a letter, invite him to place it in a special place, such as a pet's grave or in his favorite bed.
Step 3. Plant a special tree or flower in honor of your pet
Your child will also love the idea of planting a special tree or flower in the yard to honor their pet. Ask the child to help choose a tree or flower to plant. Then, choose a place together and plant a tree or flower in honor of the pet.
Step 4. Set up a room in your home for a pet memorial
Memories in the house can also be a good way to make your child remember their favorite pet. Try creating a special place to keep your pet's favorite photos, such as over the fireplace or on a small table. Keep the photo in a nice frame and put it in that special place. Invite your child to help light a candle next to the photo to help bring the memory of the pet to life.
Step 5. Scrapbook your child's favorite memories
Ask your child to help create a scrapbook filled with memories with their pet. Choose a few photos that have special meaning for your child and help him put them in the scrapbook. Let him keep it in his own room so he can always look at it to remember the happy times with his beloved pet.
