Self-control and the ability to understand oneself are important aspects to live a life according to the Stoic philosophy or to become a person of trust according to the translation of the stoic word in the dictionary. While you can control your thoughts and actions, many things are uncontrollable and shouldn't trigger stress. Applying the Stoic philosophy does not mean being indifferent and evasive. Instead of being silent, get in the habit of thinking before you speak. In addition to helping you be humble as you go about your daily life, you can deepen your Stoic philosophy by doing daily meditation and meditating on philosophical messages.
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Method 1 of 3: Establishing a Stoic Mindset
Step 1. Accept what cannot be changed
In everyday life, there are things that cannot be controlled, such as weather and natural disasters. Don't beat yourself up for something you can't change. Instead, focus on what can be changed, such as your decisions and thoughts.
Use a tennis match as an example. You can't control your opponent's ability to play, the referee's decisions, or the impact the force of the wind has on the movement of the ball. However, you can decide how well you prepare by training intensively, taking care of your health, and not staying up late the night before a match
Step 2. Get in the habit of thinking before speaking or reacting emotionally
Learn to control yourself and understand yourself. Living according to Stoic philosophy or being humble doesn't mean not speaking at all, for what is far more important is getting used to thinking before speaking.
- For example, if someone is looking down on you, don't retaliate in an angry manner, resulting in a big fight. Instead, consider whether what he's saying is telling the truth and then think about how to improve yourself.
- If you're feeling irritated and unable to think objectively, imagine a happy atmosphere, sing your favorite song to yourself, or say a calming mantra, for example, "I'm always calm and happy."
Step 3. Don't worry about thinking about other people's reactions
Instead of not wanting to talk to other people, make sure you don't say anything meaningless and act casual when socializing. It's useless to worry because you can't control other people. However, don't follow other people's standards, especially if you ignore the virtues that you believe in.
Step 4. Be humble and willing to learn new knowledge
Take every opportunity to learn, but don't be an all-knowing person. Learning opportunities will be closed if you think you already know everything. Wisdom is a central Stoic virtue and one way to develop wisdom is to recognize that you still have much to learn.
- Make the most of your study time by reading books, listening to recorded seminar materials, watching documentaries, and (of course!) reading articles that explain how to do things.
- Listen to recorded seminar material via TEDTalks, RadioLab, and StarTalk Radio. Look for documentaries about nature, technology, or art through Netflix and other websites.
- If you want to better understand Stoic philosophy, today's philosopher William B. Irvine is an expert in this area. His writing is easy to understand and does not use a lot of philosophical jargon that is difficult to understand.
Step 5. Prioritize justice, not violence
People who practice Stoic philosophy don't want to get involved in emotional conflict, gain self-interest, seek revenge, or harbor hatred. However, don't be cold, keep your distance, and grumble secretly. If someone has wronged you, don't get into an emotional conflict because you can forgive them.
- For example, if someone you care about is angry with you, don't hate them. Tell him, "It's better if we don't insult each other. Right now, we need to calm down so we can come up with a reasonable solution."
- The principle "Don't be angry, just be fair" contradicts Stoic philosophy. So, never take revenge. For example, as a manager in charge of reprimanding employees, it's better to think of a surefire way to get him to do his job responsibly, instead of imposing strict sanctions.
Method 2 of 3: Applying Stoic Principles in Daily Life
Step 1. Don't waste time on useless things
Don't let precious time be wasted on something in vain. When living a very busy daily life with piled up activities, concentrating is not easy. However, focus on completing a task or taking an action. Even if you're just sitting alone or chatting with a friend, focus on what you're doing instead of checking your phone which can be distracting.
Also, don't let distractions grab your attention, such as celebrity news, gossip, and crime. Global events are quite important, but don't stress or panic over things you can't control
Step 2. Enjoy the moment
Don't live your life like the stone-hearted character Scrooge because you want to show that you are able to control yourself and focus on the present. Set aside time for fun while enjoying the entertainment and beauty of nature.
For example, when enjoying a hot cup of coffee in the morning, a person who applies the Stoic philosophy will take a sip and ponder, "What if this was the last hot coffee I could enjoy?" The question expresses appreciation for every moment worth being grateful for, not for thinking about death
Step 3. Don't dwell on trifles
Take advantage of the tough challenges of life as an opportunity to forge yourself into a tough person who is getting wiser. When you experience a trivial event that upsets you, such as spilling milk or losing IDR 50,000, face it calmly and continue with your daily routine as scheduled.
Peace of mind is much more valuable than feeling depressed over something trivial. As Epictetus, one of the Stoic philosophers said, "When a drop of oil is spilled, a glass of wine is stolen, remind yourself, 'How cheaply I bought peace of mind'"
Step 4. Make sure you socialize with people who deserve respect
Living according to Stoic philosophy does not mean shutting yourself down. Instead, take time to socialize with people who want to be wiser, make good decisions, and make you a better person.
Consider what kind of people your friends and acquaintances are, instead of wanting to be a snobby person of respect. Are they able to support you to become a responsible person, want to keep learning, and motivated to improve your skills? Are any of them petty, judgmental, opportunist, or evil?
Step 5. Put moral principles ahead of material gain and praise
Strength of character is far more important than material possessions, rewards, or recognition. Therefore, make decisions based on moral principles, rather than wanting to increase status by doing unethical things.
- For example, don't help others so that you are appreciated or praised. Give help because you want to do good, not to brag or seek attention.
- Don't chase promotions by knocking coworkers down. Trustworthy people will not violate ethics just to be promoted.
Method 3 of 3: Doing Stoic Meditation
Step 1. Visualize your existence in the universe
In Stoic philosophy, the "circle of Hierocles" is a tool for practicing visualization to reflect your existence as part of the universe. Start by imagining yourself and then visualize your family members and friends surrounding you. Then, imagine the acquaintances, neighbors, and co-workers in the second circle. Next, imagine the inhabitants of your city in the third circle followed by all humans, all living things, and everything in the universe.
- Practice about 10 minutes regularly. To make it easier to concentrate, find a quiet place to practice, sit with your eyes closed and breathe deeply and calmly.
- This exercise helps you realize and appreciate that everything in the universe is interconnected. You are part of a human community connected to the universe.
Step 2. Practice imagining that you are missing something very important
"Premeditatio Malorum " is a Stoic meditation in which you imagine you have lost something very important, such as a job or a loved one. Think about the worst-case scenario for a few seconds. Although uncomfortable, this exercise helps you accept temporary things, anticipate obstacles, reflect on the good in everyday life, and overcome fears.
Imagining unpleasant things is useful for increasing mental strength when dealing with situations that you have no control over. When something bad happens, it's easier for you to deal with it because you've already imagined it
Step 3. Read the quote from the wise message and think about its meaning
Set aside time each day to read wise messages from the Stoic philosophers. Say it over and over again in your heart while contemplating the message you want to convey. Even though it was written more than 20 centuries ago, try to apply it in your daily life.
- Look for wise messages on websites containing the writings of Stoic philosophers, such as Epictetus, Seneca, and Marcus Aurelius. Read articles on Stoicism in The Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy and https://www.iep.utm.edu/stoicism/ as useful resources to find out more about philosophers and the wise messages they conveyed.
- In addition, you can seek advice, reflections, and other information by accessing knowledge resource blogs, such as Stoicism Today:
Step 4. Write a journal of reflections every night
Before going to bed at night, write down the challenges you faced and the decisions you made during your daily activities. Also note any corrected negative behavior. Reflect on decisions or ways to solve problems that still need to be fixed.
