Civilized people are known for their elegant demeanor, refined, and wise in social relations. Being civilized is not about acting like royalty, but understanding the importance of treating others with respect while maintaining a classy self-image. Civilized people tend to avoid bad habits, such as talking too loudly, gossiping, or burping in public. If you want to be civilized, you just have to focus on reflecting confidence, calm, and grace in your words and actions.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Talking like a Civilized Person
Step 1. Be brief and clear
You don't have to lay out a series of facts or quote all the Sunday papers in an attempt to impress others with how civilized you are. In fact, when it comes to civility, the less the better. You should convey what's on your mind clearly and concisely so that there is little left for doubt. Don't drown your colleagues or strangers in a lot of facts just to show off; on the other hand, being concise and confident in your opinion will show that you're a civilized person who doesn't need to ramble on to make a point.
- You don't have to speak long, detailed sentences to try to impress others. Short, dense sentences with clear words are best.
- You also don't need to use high-level language to get your point across. The important thing is that everyone understands what you are talking about.
Step 2. Go slow
Civilized people are never in a hurry because they have enough grace to give themselves time to do what they want. They don't rush to dinner, they don't talk too fast, and they don't rummage through their handbags to find anything because they already know that everything is in its place. If you want to be a civilized person, you have to try to move confidently and confidently, not move fast, talk fast, and do things quickly.
Instead of speaking quickly and saying "umm" and "so" every two seconds to fill in the gaps, it's best to practice speaking more slowly and thinking carefully beforehand so you can avoid those meaningless words
Step 3. Avoid swear words
Although civilized people sometimes get irritated, they tend to maintain a calm demeanor in public. Therefore, they avoid using dirty words when angry or saying something inappropriate when things heat up. In fact, they generally avoid vulgar topics such as sex, bathroom matters, or anything else that some people tend to dislike. This doesn't mean that civilized people are boring, it shows that they are classy. Saying swear words is a sign of bad upbringing and civilized people avoid that impression at all costs.
If you get out of control and yell at you, apologize afterwards
Step 4. Apologize if you burp or pass gas
No one person can act flawless all the time, and sometimes, our bodies betray and make noises that make other people laugh. Of course, it's okay to pass gas or burp after eating, but the best thing you can do, if you want to be civil, is to apologize politely rather than pretend nothing happened. Swallow your pride and say sorry, that way you reflect yourself as a civilized person in no time.
One short word "sorry" is more than enough
Step 5. Avoid slang
While you don't have to talk like Prince William, you should avoid too much slang in conversation if you want to sound civilized. Avoid language like kepo, peres, or ciyus if you want to sound like a civilized and polite person. Be careful about using local languages or terms that are pop culture, and try to figure out how to use them wisely. Civilized people speak a timeless language, not based on popular terms, like BFFs or selfies.
Of course, if everyone around you uses slang, you don't need to differentiate yourself completely by using good and correct Indonesian, but you should use common language and avoid slang as much as possible
Step 6. Avoid vulgar topics of conversation
If you want to be civilized, then you should avoid talking about anything that could be considered offensive, especially if you're in an environment with different types of people. Remember that what is casual with your best friend may not be so with the crowd; avoid talking about sex, body parts, toilet matters, or other statements that might be seen as harsh or offensive in relation to politics. It's better to assume that people around you are easily offended than later to make jokes that turn out to hurt other people's feelings. To be civilized, you can still discuss interesting topics and at the same time make sure that you don't offend anyone.
If someone is talking about a vulgar topic and you're not comfortable with it, you can try to turn the conversation in a more comfortable direction
Step 7. Think before you speak
Civilized people rarely say anything unwise or offensive and they almost never apologize for a misspelled word, that's because they've already thought about what to say. They don't blurt out the first thing that pops into their heads, but before they speak they stop to ask themselves how the other person will respond to the comment and whether their point will be clearly conveyed. Civilized people take the time to refine their words before speaking them, so that they are conveyed elegantly and gracefully.
Before you say something, look at the person you're talking to and think about whether your statement will make him or her angry, or whether it's better to say it in private if you're in a large group
Step 8. Give praise
You don't have to give fake compliments that you're not sure about just to sound civilized, but you should try to make the other person feel special when they deserve it. The art of complimenting is hard to master, and once you know how to compliment someone without going overboard, you'll sound more civilized than ever. Civilized people also pay attention to detail and are quick to spot a new piece of jewelry or shoes that really deserves praise.
To sound completely civilized, you can say something like, "That's the most beautiful scarf I've ever seen." rather than, “Oh my God, what a beautiful scarf!”
Step 9. Don't talk too loudly
Civilized people believe what they say will be heard because they choose their words carefully. Talking so loudly that the person across the room can hear every word is a sign of poor upbringing, as well as a lack of respect for others. Make sure you control your voice when you speak, and wait for it to get their attention instead of speaking out loud until they are forced to listen.
Don't interrupt others to get your point across. Wait for your turn to speak if you want to be civilized
Part 2 of 3: Behave like a Civilized Person
Step 1. Avoid gossiping
Civilized people have opinions, but they tend to keep them to themselves when those opinions involve others in a negative light. If you want to be civilized, you shouldn't gossip about other people, start rumors, or ask if two of your coworkers or classmates are dating. If you have a reputation for gossiping, people won't think you're civilized at all; instead, they will view you as classy and immature. To be truly civilized, you have to be positive if you want to talk about other people who aren't in the same room.
Better practice saying something nice about someone behind their back. Say nice things about people who are not in the same room and those words will reach their ears
Step 2. Have fun
Civilized people don't disagree with other people and don't mind something if they don't agree. They're still comfortable speaking up, but they don't do it to make other people feel bad or to appear taller. If someone challenges your ideas in conversation, you should be polite in your debate, and not demean yourself by insulting the other person with harsh words. Civilized people should be pleasant, sociable and attuned to others rather than being hostile or obnoxious.
- If you're asked to resolve disagreements and provide an answer – let's say people are debating whether a quote is from the Bible or Shakespeare – it's better to say you're not sure of the answer even if you actually know. There's no point in causing conflict.
- If someone tries to tell you that your opinion is meaningless, don't be provoked. Take the wise step and walk away from the conversation rather than having to commit to proving the person wrong.
Step 3. Don't brag
Civilized people are insightful and interesting, but they don't have to brag to show it. If you memorize every scene in every Goddard movie or speak eight foreign languages, you don't have to tell everyone you know. Better yet, wait until your area of interest comes up in conversation so people will be impressed by your insights and not find you annoying for showing off. When you share knowledge, don't act like a source of information, but simply present it in a relaxed and friendly manner.
- You should praise the accomplishments of others as often as possible instead of talking about your own.
- If you really have a lot of accomplishments, people will definitely hear about it. When they talk about it, it's simpler than acting like yes, you know you're great.
Step 4. Keep friends with civilized people
If you really want to be civilized, it's important that you hang out with like-minded people. Civilized people spend time with people they can talk to about politics, wine, travel, other cultures, foreign films, cultural events in their area, and other subjects of interest. They don't spend time with a lot of people who don't really contribute much to the conversation, or those who translate cultural time by listening to nothing but Top 40 music and watching television series. They tend to be friends with people who can stimulate and encourage them to be better.
While removing someone from your circle of friends because you think that person makes you look bad isn't civilized, you should think about the friends to keep. If you find that you spend too much time with people who are vulgar, classy, and who put you down, then it's time to reconsider the relationship
Step 5. Avoid dominating conversation
Civilized people have interesting opinions on politics, sports, cuisine, wine, and other subjects, but they try not to be boring people talking about those topics all night long. They also tend to avoid topics about themselves and talk about themselves all the time. They prefer to talk about other people or other world problems. Mastering 90% of the conversation is uncivilized, no matter how interested you are in the topic.
If you feel like you're dominating the conversation, change direction and ask the other person light questions, from what they do on weekends to their favorite sports team
Step 6. Have manners
Manners are a sign of a civilized person. To have good manners, you have to eat with your mouth closed, avoid swearing, wait your turn, hold doors and pull chairs for other people, and generally conduct yourself in an admirable manner. People with good manners are sensitive to the needs of others, they make sure that everyone is comfortable, be it guests or waiters. If you want to have good manners, ask how others are doing, respect their space, and don't make a mess.
Polite. Always greet others in a friendly manner, introduce yourself to people you don't know when they join the conversation, and avoid being rude to people even if they deserve it
Step 7. Be cultured
You don't have to speak seventeen languages to be cultured, but it helps if you know something about another culture, whether that's knowing how to pronounce foie gras correctly when in a French restaurant, or that in some cultures, it's polite to take off your shoes before entering. House. There is no one way to suddenly become cultured, but you can try to find out how people live in other parts of the world, watch foreign films, try food from other countries, and most importantly, avoid the attitude that in your country all done in the "right" way.
- Make it a point to attend a cultural event in your area, whether it's a local theater or a museum opening.
- Read, read, read. Have insight into everything from ancient philosophy to contemporary poetry. Cultured people tend to read a lot.
Step 8. Be wise
Civilized people speak very wisely and understand that they have to choose their words and timing carefully if they want to say something. They don't cross boundaries and be overly friendly with people they don't know well, they deflect other people's negative comments, and they are cautious when necessary. They are good at manners and don't embarrass others in public.
- Know a person's sense of humor before trying to crack a joke.
- Avoid mentioning your income or asking about other people's salaries. This topic seems impolite and totally unwise.
- For example, if there are food scraps that appear in the teeth of the other person, a wise person will try to tell them personally.
- Wise people also know that timing is important. You may be eager to announce that you are pregnant, but you have to understand that it is best to postpone the announcement while your best friend is raving about her engagement.
Part 3 of 3: Look like a Civilized Person
Step 1. Wear elegant and well-maintained clothes
Civilized people pay a lot of attention to clothes because they understand that a civilized appearance is important to form a civilized persona. They choose clothes that are nice on their bodies, that are appropriate to the seasons, that are not too revealing, and that are pleasing to the eye. Their clothes were tucked into their pants, clean of stains, and suited to the weather. They tend to wear clothes that don't stand out, like grays, browns, and blues, and their dresses don't attract too much attention.
- Civilized people also tend to dress more elegantly than the average person; men usually wear suits or casual business attire even when not required, and civilized women tend to wear dresses and high heels with tasteful adornment.
- Clothes don't have to be expensive to look civilized. You just have to make sure your clothes fit well, fit well, and don't wrinkle.
- Glittering accessories or jewelry will not make you more civilized. In fact, a watch or a pair of silver earrings is enough and much better than a sparkly look.
- Civilized people tend to avoid graphic T-shirts or anything else that makes other people laugh.
Step 2. Dress yourself up
A civilized person takes the time to comb their hair and make sure that they never look messy. Civilized men tend to shave their faces or keep their beards trimmed. In general, civilized people appear neat, clean, and it appears that they put time and effort into their appearance. If you want to be civilized, then you have to make an effort to dress up so that you are worthy of appearing in public.
- Get used to carrying a comb and use it personally when needed.
- Women can wear subtle make-up, but should avoid over-cosmetic, otherwise they won't look civilized. Instead, wear soft lipstick, a little mascara, and light eye shadow.
Step 3. Maintain personal hygiene
If you want to be civilized, you have to take a shower every day, wash your hair every day or at least every other day, apply deodorant (if you're sure of that), and add cologne or light perfume if you like the effect. You should also brush your teeth at least twice a day and in general make sure you smell nice, clean and fresh wherever you go. It's hard to look civilized when your hair is greasy and smells bad. Similar to dressing up, maintaining personal hygiene is an important aspect of being a civilized person.
Step 4. Have civilized body language
Civilized people know how to carry themselves. They stand straight and maintain good posture even when sitting. They fold their arms in their laps when sitting down and don't put their elbows on the table when they eat. They don't stoop, fidget, or pick their nose in public. In general, they respect their own bodies as much as they respect others around them. To be a civilized person, have body language that shows you respect yourself without making yourself at home wherever you go.
- Avoid sitting with your legs spread apart, as this can sound a bit vulgar.
- Avoid scratching in public. If you feel itchy and have to scratch, it's better to go to the bathroom to scratch.
- When talking to other people, stand at a reasonable distance from them. People who talk too closely tend to be seen as uncivilized.
Step 5. Smile and make eye contact
You may have a civilized but haughty self-image that when meeting new people is quicker to lift your chin than smile and make eye contact, but a truly civilized person knows that everyone deserves to be treated with respect. Making eye contact and smiling when meeting or approaching other people is common courtesy and it shows that you view them as individuals who deserve attention. Eye contact also shows that you have their attention, a very civilized and respectful act.
Avoid checking cell phones or texting when talking to other people, you should focus on eye contact. Not paying attention to what other people say is very uncivilized
Step 6. Greet others in a civilized manner
If you want to be civilized, you must treat other people with respect when they come to you. Don't be too lazy to stand up and shake hands with new acquaintances or introduce your name. If someone who already knows you approaches, it's still polite to stand up and greet them if you want to be civilized. If you just raise your hand and say, “hi,” then you may come across as socially lazy, which is a sign of a lack of manners.
It's no less polite to repeat someone's name when you're meeting them for the first time. You could say something like, "Nice to finally meet you, Jason."
Tips
- Don't look gloomy, show a pleasant attitude.
- This “civilized” personality is unrealistic to do 24 hours 7 days or with close friends and family. You can act like this; but more open with the people closest (but still polite). This way, your "civilized" persona will not look fake, but rather like a wall you build as an exterior in front of people you don't know very well. Not only does this keep you from being seen as a swindler; but it will also make people curious about your “off” and more interested in knowing more about you.
Warning
- You may be lonely if you don't understand this persona properly. This kind of personality gets a lot of admiration but not necessarily a group of friends.
- Some might call you arrogant, but that's only due to the fact that they're jealous.
