Like other habits and vices, being rude is a habit that is easy to do, but hard to break. It's so hard, you sometimes don't even realize you've just said something rude. However, as long as you are aware of this bad habit and really want to get rid of it, you can stop being rude. Through this article, you will get some useful tips to get rid of the bad habit.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Start Stop Saying Harsh
Step 1. Find friends who can help
Telling your problems or difficulties to a friend or partner will lighten your mind a bit. By having friends who can help, it will make it easier for you to stop being rude. Just use one of these two methods.
- Find friends who also have a habit of being rude and try to remind each other when they are rude, or find friends who never or rarely say rude things to remind and stop you when they are rude.
- However, getting supervision and warning from others when you say rude things will slowly stop you from being rude.
Step 2. Find out and avoid what are your 'triggers'
Everyone has something that triggers them to be rude. For example due to traffic jams, waiting in line, or maybe it's as simple as losing or dying in a video game. If you know what triggers you to speak harshly, you can find ways to avoid those triggers.
Stay away from all situations that can trigger negative emotions. That way, you can indirectly control your speech more easily
Step 3. Use money as punishment or reward
Prepare a piggy bank or place to store money that is difficult to break or open. Make it a rule that every time you say something rude, you have to put some money into the piggy bank. Depending on your point of view, the money you give is a punishment or a reward in the future.
- It's called punishment because every time you say something rude, you have to spend money. But it can also be called a reward because when the piggy bank is full or you finally break the habit of being rude, you can open the piggy bank and use it to buy things or donate them.
- It's a good idea to get other people who share the same habit to participate in this punishment 'game'. Just make sure that everyone is willing to play honestly. If the piggy bank is full or everyone has managed to break the habit, you can buy something to celebrate.
Step 4. Give yourself physical punishment
Even though it's harsh and painful, it's a good idea to give a light physical punishment every time you say something rude. You can determine the form of punishment yourself, starting from wearing a rubber band on your wrist and pulling then releasing it so that it hits your hand, or simply pinching yourself.
- In this way, you will start to think that being rude will lead to pain, and you will gradually stop being rude.
- If you really need and/or want to, you can ask your friends to punish you. But both parties should always remember that this is for your own good.
Step 5. Imagine the person you love or fear is near you
One way to stop being rude is to imagine that someone will hear you every time you intend to be rude. This person can be anyone you fear or care about; grandma, boss at work, or a young and innocent family member.
Every time you are about to say something rude, imagine the person standing next to you and their expression of surprise, sadness, or fear when you say something rude
Step 6. Avoid abusive media or content
Many abusive habits, especially among teenagers, arise from the influence of public content such as music, movies, or TV. If you really like being rude because of the influence of your favorite rapper, then come to your senses! They themselves don't use those words in the real world either. If you're easily influenced, change the music you listen to, or find your favorite censored rap song.
Method 2 of 3: Changing Attitudes
Step 1. Convince yourself that saying dirty is a bad thing
Harsh words serve several purposes or functions - to express anger, to emphasize something, or as a joke. But whatever the reason or purpose, being rude is still a bad habit, because it can make you look stupid or uneducated, intimidate, offend others, and make others disrespect you.
- Your habit may have grown out of you as a member of your own family, or as a teenager, when you felt that harsh words were cool.
- Whatever the reason and whoever the cause may be, the most important thing is that you are aware of this bad habit and want to get rid of it.
Step 2. Think positive
Positive thinking is important to stop being rude, because people usually say rude things when they complain about something, are in a bad mood, or often think negatively. By thinking positively, you can eliminate the reason for being rude itself. Granted, learning to think positively isn't easy, but at least try; take a deep breath when negative emotions and the intention to be rude start to appear and ask "what's wrong?"
- For example, ask "what if you're a few minutes late for a meeting?" or “what if you can't find the remote control and have to change channels via the buttons on the TV?” Bringing things into a more positive perspective can help you calm down and avoid negative emotions.
- Also, think positively about your efforts to stop being rude. If you are pessimistic and feel that your habit will not go away, then it will not. Remember, if other people can do more difficult things like quit smoking or lose tens of kilos of weight, then quitting harsh words shouldn't be that difficult.
Step 3. Be patient with yourself
Harsh words may be your habit for years and are done every day, and getting rid of them can't be done overnight. The process may be long, but like it or not it must be done. Remember why you did it, and imagine how it would feel if this habit finally disappeared.
- Think about why you stopped being rude. Maybe you want to make a good impression at work and don't want to set a bad example for your child. Whatever the reason, make it motivation.
- Do not give up. Always try and believe that you can do what you really want.
Method 3 of 3: Changing Speech Patterns
Step 1. Be aware of your abusive speech habits
Saying harsh words every now and then may be okay, but if you do say harsh words often, then you should eliminate them. The first step to getting rid of a habit is to be aware and know the habit itself. To whom do you speak harshly? What harsh words do you use often? Know the reasons for your words and the function of the words themselves in the sentences you speak.
- Once you realize and recognize it, you may be surprised by your habit of speaking harshly. Don't worry, recognizing is the first step to stopping it.
- Once you become aware of this bad habit, you will subconsciously recognize the same habit from other people. With it, you can know how unpleasant it is to hear dirty words and what bad impression it can cause.
Step 2. Use other words in place of rude words
Once you've identified your abusive speech habits, you can begin to eliminate these habits from your daily conversations. You may often use harsh words as unnecessary extras - not to express anger - but instead of using harsh words, you can start replacing them with something less offensive and offensive.
- Replace the abusive words with other words that have the same initial letter. At first you may find it strange to say it, but over time you will get used to it. In fact, you may even omit these words because you feel they don't need to be.
- If you accidentally say a harsh word, repeat your sentence by replacing the abusive word that was spoken. Slowly your brain will get used to it.
Step 3. Expand your vocabulary
Sometimes, people reason that "there is no better word" than a harsh word to express something. But the truth is, there are plenty of non-abusive words that can do just that. By expanding your vocabulary and replacing your frequently used abusive words with other words, you can easily break your habit of using abusive words.
- Make a list of the abusive words you use, then open the dictionary to find substitutes for them. Indonesian has a variety of unique words that may be rarely heard, but have meanings that are at least similar to the harsh words you use.
- You can also expand your vocabulary by reading lots of books or newspapers. Take note of the words that you find interesting and can be used in place of rude words and try to use them in your daily life. Also try to imitate non-abusive words or expressions used by other people.
Tips
- Be a good example for children. If they see you being rude, then they may imitate it.
- Control your anger and emotions. This can prevent you from talking too much, let alone harsh words, and keep your mind and body clear.
- If you inevitably get angry and are about to say something rude, take a deep breath and wait 10 seconds. That way you will forget your anger.
- Avoiding the habit of harsh words doesn't mean you won't use it again for the rest of your life. There are some things that make anyone would say rude like. Avoiding the habit of rude speech means eliminating it from your daily thoughts and words because it is unnecessary and does not bring any benefit.
- If your habits are really bad, ask your friend to remind you every time a rude word is said. Or you can also use a device that has voice recognition technology.
- Many people say that by doing or stopping doing something for 21 days, you will have a new habit. Try to stop being rude for 21 days, and see what happens.
Warning
- In some countries or cities, speaking rudely can get you fined or even jailed.
- Some companies may not like people who like to say rude. Don't get fired for your own words.
- Using harsh words on the internet, whether it's an online game or a website, can get you banned from accessing the game or website by the manager.
