If you want to have a long-lasting and successful relationship, you have to start on the basis of mutual respect. You have to be able to see yourself and your partner as a team and you have to be able to be considerate, honest and compassionate. But no one is perfect, and you must be willing to sincerely apologize if you have made a mistake. If you and your partner are willing to put in the effort, you can both have a happy and respectful relationship.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Working as a Team
Step 1. See the two of you as a real couple
If you want to value your partner, try to see the two of you together as a solid team. You have to think as a team in making decisions together and always consider your partner when you want to make a personal decision. You need to be able to see that both of you are working towards goals that will make you both stronger, and don't feel like a couple with conflicting needs and wants. If you are truly able to see yourself as a part, you can give your partner the respect he deserves.
- As you and your partner go about your day-to-day life, you must see yourself as a united party. While you can't always agree on everything, you should try to treat each other with kindness and respect and make decisions that support each other.
- While you don't have to have the same thoughts as your partner, you can practice saying "we" when you make decisions together, avoiding the habit of starting your sentences with "I…"
Step 2. If you disagree with your partner, discuss this in a respectful manner
You can't always agree with your partner, and that's fine. But when there are differences, you should discuss them in a respectful manner. If you say things like, "That's a stupid idea…" or, "I can't believe you wanted to do that…" then this will make your partner angry and defensive and no successful conversation will occur. Make an effort to listen to your partner and remain friendly when he or she explains his point of view.
- Keep in mind that if you start to be aggressive and angry, your partner will be less inclined to share their ideas or make deals.
- Instead of being condescending or rude when you disagree, you can say, "I can understand why you see it that way…" or, "I don't think it's the right choice at this point…" Remember that the way you say things can as important as what you say.
Step 3. Learn to tolerate and respect differences
When you are in a relationship, you will find some ways that are very much different between you and your partner. Maybe your partner is someone who wants to be excessively tidy while you are someone who isn't used to being neat; maybe you are very sociable while your partner is shy; While you can make small changes to fit in with each other, you can't change completely, and you must learn to accept and respect your differences if you really want to respect your partner.
- Of course, if you're a very untidy person and your partner is someone who wants to be excessively tidy, you should respect the rules and keep your home clean, even if you can't live up to the rules he wants you to.
- If there are certain things about your partner that are bothering you but you can't change, such as excessive affection for the dog, then you need to be able to appreciate and learn to live with them if you want to continue a good relationship.
Step 4. Acknowledge the contribution of your partner
So that you can appreciate your partner, make an effort to let your partner know when he or she is doing things right. You may be grumbling to your partner all the time or being negative about all the problems you're having or that are keeping you both from being happy together; but if your partner is trying to cheer you up when you're having a hard time, cook a nice meal for you, or is always kind and caring, try to really let your partner know how much he or she means to you.
- You can do this by saying "thank you" and writing a special love letter to your partner, or taking the time to acknowledge their positive behavior.
- If you never acknowledge the good things your partner has done for you, he or she will see it as a sign of disrespect, because you don't seem to care at all.
Step 5. Respect yourself
In fact, if you want to be appreciated, you have to be able to respect yourself first. You must treat your body well, avoid behaviors that make you lose respect for yourself, such as being addicted to alcohol or being rude to strangers, and you must do it in a way that makes others believe that you are worthy of respect. If you don't have this understanding, you will have a hard time respecting your partner or getting your partner to respect you.
Make sure that you truly value and care for yourself before you are ready to truly respect others
Step 6. Learn to make deals
Another way to appreciate your partner is to have the ability to come to terms with things you can't agree to. When you're making decisions together, it's important that you both listen to each other and make sure you understand exactly what your partner wants in this matter. After that, then you can discuss the pros and cons of the situation at hand with mutual respect and try to reach a resolution that can make both of you feel happy.
- When you have to make a deal, you'll realize that it's better to be happy than to be right. Learn to pick the best one and determine whether it would be better if your partner got what he or she wanted; and when you really want something different, you can fight for it.
- If you have to make a less important decision, such as where to eat, it might be best if you don't.
Step 7. Fulfilling shared responsibilities
If you and your partner want to respect each other, you must fulfill shared responsibilities. This means more than just apologizing when you make a mistake, but always being aware of any time you are disrespectful to your partner, and you also know that your partner is aware of his disrespectful attitude towards you. As long as both of you are aware and understand what it means to not respect each other and are willing to take responsibility for your actions, then you will have a long-lasting and successful relationship.
- For example, if you are two hours late without a phone call, and you know your wife is looking forward to being home alone with you that night, you are actually disrespecting your partner and should be held accountable for what you did.
- Another example, if your partner invites a friend to join an event that is actually a date, your partner must be held accountable for their disrespectful behavior.
- As long as both of you can correct each other and find balance in your relationship and are comfortable discussing wrongdoings, you are well on your way.
Method 2 of 3: Be Tolerant
Step 1. Apologize if you did something wrong
One way to appreciate your partner is to apologize if you are wrong. Instead of denying or covering up your mistake, it's best if you truly apologize and not just say it, but truly regret it. Look your partner in the eye, put down your phone first, and explain how sorry you are for what happened and how badly you did to your partner.
- Don't just say, “I'm sorry that you felt that I…” or “I'm sorry you were so angry when I…” but instead take responsibility for your actions and make it clear that you know you were at fault.
- Of course, actions are more influential than words. You shouldn't just say you're sorry, but make a real effort not to repeat what you did.
Step 2. Try to put yourself in your partner's shoes
Another way you can be considerate and show real respect for your partner is to try to understand what your partner wants when you are giving an argument, or when you are making a decision. For example, if you know his father is in the hospital, you should be able to understand what he's dealing with before starting an argument about who should do the dishes; If your ex-boyfriend comes from out of town and your boyfriend doesn't like it when you see him, think about how you would feel yourself if it was your boyfriend who wanted to meet his ex.
- By always trying to think about what your partner thinks before you start a conversation or make an argument, you can develop a more respectful attitude towards your partner.
- Trying to put yourself in someone else's shoes would be an excellent way of showing your appreciation to someone, perhaps a best friend or boyfriend.
Step 3. Take time to really listen to your partner
Listening is a skill that many people lack in today's hectic and technology-obsessed life. If you want to show genuine appreciation for your partner, make an effort to really listen to them when they talk to you. This doesn't mean cutting off the conversation, offering advice without being asked, or waiting for your turn to speak, but you should really take the time to pay attention to what your partner is saying to you, respecting their thoughts, experiences, and ideas.
- Put down your phone first, look him in the eye, and don't look around the room trying to find out what's going on; give your partner your full attention when he or she is talking to you.
- You can also practice active listening. You can repeat what your partner says to show that you're really listening, but make sure you repeat it in your own words to prove that you really understand. You can say, "I understand that you're frustrated that your boss doesn't respect you…" to show your partner that you really care about them.
- You don't need to nod empathetically or say, "I see," every two seconds to show that you're paying attention. The words you use after your partner has finished can show that you are listening.
Step 4. Respect the boundaries set by your partner
Everyone has their own limits, and if you want to truly respect your partner, know what they want and respect them. Maybe your partner is a person who values privacy and can't accept having you look at old photos or talk about their past in front of other people; maybe your partner didn't like you teasing him because he was overweight when he was a kid. Whatever the boundaries, you have to recognize them and be caring and able to respect them.
- Respecting your partner's privacy is critical to the success of a relationship. Don't assume that you have the right to snoop on your partner's phone or computer just because the two of you are on a date.
- You should also value your partner's belongings. If he really doesn't like you borrowing his favorite watch, you should be able to understand.
- If you think your partner is setting boundaries that are difficult for you to accept, such as that you shouldn't talk about his ex-wife, have a respectful conversation so you can get an explanation as to why your partner is behaving this way.
Step 5. Encourage your partner to reach their best
If you want to value your partner, wish him the best. You must be ready to help your partner reach their full potential and make their dreams come true. You should provide support by telling your partner that he or she will do well in the job interview, that your partner will break his or her own record in the next marathon, and that your partner can finish writing the novel he started five years ago.
- You shouldn't look down on your partner or think of your partner as someone who can't achieve their dreams. If you have good reasons why you think a particular plan is not a good idea, you should try to discuss this in a friendly atmosphere.
- In order for a relationship to really work, you and your partner need to be better together than apart. You have to pay attention to your partner and encourage him to be even better.
- If there is a conflict between you and your partner trying to get the best out of you, you don't need to be angry, but discuss it with your partner so that both of you can understand the situation.
Step 6. Give affection
Affection is the key to creating a successful relationship and showing respect for your partner. If you really care about your partner, you need to be able to show them love and forgiveness, especially if your partner has been going through a difficult time recently. You need to be able to understand that your partner is struggling with his or her own problems and that you can't ignore his feelings just because he's not doing what you want him to do.
When your partner really needs you, give him love and affection. While you can't always feel sorry for your partner's difficulties and because someone's patience has limits, try to give your partner love and affection when they need it most
Step 7. Be honest
If you want to be considerate and respectful of your partner, try to be honest with them at all times. Don't lie when you tell him about where you went last night, and don't do anything that could make your partner distrust you. While you may feel uncomfortable having to reveal everything about yourself and there are things in your life that you want to keep secret, you shouldn't lie to your partner. If your partner finds out that you broke his trust, it will be very difficult to get it back.
Of course there are times when a small lie for the sake of kindness won't hurt. But if you are used to lying to your partner, this is a sign of a lack of appreciation
Step 8. Give your partner leeway
Another way to appreciate your partner is to give your partner more freedom when he needs it. If your partner wants to be alone or work things out on their own for a while, you will be very disrespectful to your partner if you ignore this, be harsh on him, or force your desire to spend time with him. Everyone needs time to be alone and this is a good and natural thing for someone in a relationship if he wants to have some freedom; but if you can't understand why your partner sometimes prefers to be alone instead of being alone with you, this means you are a very disrespectful person.
- Don't think that if your partner wants to be alone, that means there's nothing wrong with you. You need to be able to understand that there are people who need privacy to gather and be respected.
- But if you feel like your partner prefers to be alone rather than with you, there's definitely something you need to talk to him about.
Method 3 of 3: Knowing What Not to Do
Step 1. Don't humiliate your partner in public
One of the ways that your partner will feel very unappreciated is by being rude or publicly criticizing him or her in front of your friends and family members. You have to be able to see each other as a team; If you have a problem with your partner, express it privately in your own home, not in front of other people. Saying harshly in front of other people or yelling at your partner in public will make him or her feel very displeased and disappointed in you, and this will make your friends and family feel uncomfortable.
- If you've ever insulted your partner in public, you should apologize. Not everyone can always be patient.
- Instead of insulting or being rude to your partner in public, it's better to compliment him and make him feel better in front of other people.
Step 2. Don't say bad things about your partner to your friends
You shouldn't be telling your friends and family all the secrets about your ugliness or complaining about the fifty most annoying things your partner does. Although you can ask for advice from your loved ones when you are really in trouble, but if you are used to every time you tell other people bad things about your partner, then this habit will make your partner and your relationship look bad and will not exist. mutual respect between the two of you.
- If you really value your partner, then your loyalty will always be with him; but if you criticize your partner when he's not with you, it shows that you really don't appreciate him.
- Think about it: how would you feel if your partner always said bad things about you to his friends? This would feel like disrespect for you, wouldn't it?
Step 3. Don't talk about the opposite sex in a disrespectful manner
Another way that your partner can feel unappreciated is to talk about the opposite sex in a disrespectful manner. So, because we are all human and can't stop praising others even when we really love someone; This means that if you always talk about all the “beautiful girls” or “handsome boys” you see, this will naturally make your partner feel bad and show that you don't respect your partner. It also shows that you don't value your relationship especially if you do it in front of your partner and your friends.
- There are people who are certainly less sensitive to these kinds of things than other people, but you should still avoid them and keep them as a rule.
- When your partner isn't with you, don't talk about all the handsome boys or pretty girls you see with your friends. Okay, so you can't ignore the fact that there are interesting people in this world, but if you keep talking about them, your friends will think that you really don't appreciate your partner.
Step 4. Don't wait until you can't control your feelings
If you really value your partner, don't let your feelings get any worse until you finally start yelling at your partner. If something is really bothering you, you should still respect your partner by having him sit down and have a serious conversation about the matter. Don't wait until your partner guesses what's bothering you or you say it in a public place or when you can't take it anymore; this is a very disrespectful attitude towards your partner or your relationship.
- If you don't talk about what's really bothering you, then you may become passive aggressive towards your partner, which shows that you don't really value your partner.
- Even if you have a very busy week, you should make time to talk about what's really bothering you; If your partner is mad at you, of course you want to know too, right?
Step 5. Don't ignore your partner
One way that your partner will feel very unappreciated is to ignore what he has done for you or what he has given you. If you do this, you are showing your partner that you don't appreciate all that he or she has done for you and that your relationship is not having a good impact on your life. If you want to honor your partner and show him how much he means to you, then you must tell your partner how much you care for him or her, every day.
You may not even realize that you've been ignoring your partner until you sit down and realize that you can't remember the last time you said a kind word to him or said "I love you." Make sure your partner knows that you really care about him or her, even when you're busy
Tips
- Get rid of the view that you have your partner. The fact that the two of you are dating or married doesn't hold you accountable for your partner's life.
- Don't let your fleeting mood destroy your relationship.
- Never look down on your partner even if sometimes you feel the reasons given by your partner are very shallow.
- If your partner hurts your feelings, wait until you feel calm again and then tell him how his treatment has affected your feelings.
- Love always requires persistence, so you have to learn how to be patient.
- Hold on to your words. If you've ever said something, no matter how you say it, it's best to stick with it. You can rearrange your words once things get better. For example: When I say _, I don't mean _, I mean _.
- We can learn from experience, unless you already understand why you are in this condition, don't push yourself like nothing will work out.
- Not everyone communicates the same way. Work on understanding how your partner communicates and this will allow both of you to appreciate each other more.
