Remember, everyone, including you, has the right to be respected in relationships! If you feel that this right is not obtained from your partner, try to evaluate the relationship between the two of you. First of all, think about how you are feeling right now. Do you feel trapped in the relationship or constantly controlled by your partner? If so, try to think of your partner's behavior that specifically causes these feelings. Is he always being rude to you? Does he constantly lecture you? If you feel unappreciated by your partner, take as much time as possible to think about your willingness to maintain the relationship.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Evaluating Feelings
Step 1. Think about whether you feel heard by your partner
If your partner doesn't respect you, chances are that you often feel unheard in your relationship. Is your partner really able to understand you? Does he know your needs and wants? If not, it means he has treated you with disrespect.
- You may feel that your partner doesn't know basic things about you, such as your personal boundaries and the things you like. Most likely, his incompetence is caused by his habit of interrupting or keeping you quiet.
- Listening is the most basic form of appreciation. In other words, someone who doesn't want to listen to you really can't appreciate you.
Step 2. Identify any sense of unworthiness within you
Try to think about your role in the relationship. Negative people will often make their partner feel unworthy. Remember, everyone deserves to feel loved and valued in a healthy relationship!
- Chances are, you're constantly thinking, "I don't deserve it" or "He's mad because of me. I don't deserve to be treated well."
- In fact, everyone, including you, deserves to be treated well! If you constantly feel like you don't deserve basic rewards (listening, being treated well, having their needs met, etc.), then your partner has been treating you disrespectfully all along.
Step 3. Evaluate your current energy level
Someone who is negative will definitely create the atmosphere of a relationship that is no less negative with the people around him. Therefore, try to evaluate your energy level if you feel that you are constantly being disrespected by your partner. Are you constantly feeling tired or fed up? If so, chances are that you don't feel valued by your partner.
Step 4. Identify your behavior
Having an impolite partner will definitely affect the way a person behaves. If you're already in a relationship with one of them, you're more likely to feel unhappy or imperfect more often than not.
- Do you feel your former self-identity? Do you feel that you can no longer find time to hang out with your closest friends, pursue hobbies, and engage in social activities? Do you feel that your current life no longer feels satisfying or fulfilled?
- Are you experiencing decreased social skills? For example, you may have been feeling more irritable or dismissive lately. If so, chances are that you are feeling unappreciated and taking that emotional burden out on others.
Part 2 of 3: Assessing You and Your Partner Interaksi
Step 1. Beware of a partner who is always lecturing you
Nobody is perfect in this world. In other words, it's perfectly natural for your partner to occasionally point to your flaws that negatively affect both him and your relationship. However, a partner who doesn't appreciate you will constantly lecture you, even about very minor flaws. In addition, his voice also did not sound concerned and seemed demanding.
- In a relationship of mutual respect, one party may say to the other, “Could it be that you don't text too often when we watch TV? I want to feel like you're really here."
- A partner who can't appreciate you will overreact to everything. Instead of asking you not to text at certain times, he'll get angry and start mentioning your flaws. For example, he will say, “See, you really can't concentrate on everything! I guess because of this, your grades in school will drop. Your teacher must be just as frustrated as I am!"
Step 2. Think about whether you feel controlled or dominated in the relationship
A partner who doesn't respect you will often be very controlling or domineering. When interacting, he may be constantly pushing his way, have a "follow me or not" mentality, and be negative if his wishes don't come true.
- A partner who doesn't appreciate you may be bothered by your decision to travel without him. For example, he will bombard you with questions like, “Your friends are boring. What the hell are you doing with him?"
- Even if he doesn't directly stop you from leaving, he's more likely to complicate your situation. For example, he allows you to watch a movie with a friend, but keeps texting and calling you inside the theater. Or, he may allow you to have coffee with a friend, but be cool when you get home.
Step 3. Evaluate the partner's willingness to compromise
Compromise is an important factor in any healthy relationship. In other words, your partner must be willing to fulfill your wishes periodically, and vice versa. If you're constantly a compromise in your relationship, it most likely means that your partner doesn't respect you.
- In a normal relationship, people are even willing to compromise on simple things, like taste. For example, you are willing to watch a movie that you don't like for your partner's sake, but after that your partner is willing to have dinner at your favorite restaurant.
- If you have a partner who has a hard time appreciating you, you will most likely notice that the world seems to revolve around him. If you try to refuse his request or ask him to compromise, he's likely to keep trying to get his way. For example, your partner invites you to celebrate your wedding anniversary by climbing the mountain. Because you're not used to doing this, you're offered the option of a lighter, shorter hike. Instead of agreeing to it, he keeps calling the option boring until you feel guilty and agree to what he wants.
Step 4. Beware of sudden anger
Is your partner a very irritable person? Does he make the atmosphere in your home feel less comfortable? Do you always feel insecure, scared, or cautious when around him? If so, most likely it all happened because your partner really can't respect you.
Step 5. Evaluate whether or not the partner is responsible for his behavior
Generally, a person who has difficulty respecting others will not be willing to admit the fact that his behavior is actually hurtful. If normal people will apologize and promise to change their behavior, rude people will never be held accountable for their behavior.
- Your partner may always refuse to apologize, even for the simplest things. For example, he always makes up excuses when he arrives late, such as, "It's jammed" and "I'm stressed so I don't look at the clock."
- Or, he might as well make up excuses after committing a very bad act. For example, "I'm sorry I yelled at you, but you wouldn't understand the pressure I'm under." In fact, he might even blame you by saying, "I could definitely respect you more and allow you to hang out with your friends if you can appreciate my existence as your partner more."
Part 3 of 3: Dealing with Disrespectful Behavior
Step 1. State your point if needed
If you feel that your partner constantly doesn't respect you, learn to be clear about your intentions and desires. Whenever the situation occurs, make it clear that you will not tolerate it. No need to be aggressive or rude! Instead, just get your point across in a calm and controlled manner.
- When your partner starts acting up, immediately wake him up. Calmly, let your partner know that his words were rude and offended you. Make sure you keep your emotions under control so the situation doesn't get worse, okay?
- For example, if your partner complains that you're traveling with a coworker who they think is irresponsible, try saying, “I appreciate your concern, but I know how to take care of myself. I deserve a social life and you have to respect that."
Step 2. End the conversation if you start to feel unappreciated
If your partner doesn't appreciate you, he or she will likely have a hard time hearing, even if you're being assertive. Instead of listening to your needs and apologizing, he may appear irritated and even aggressive. For example, your partner might say, "I don't care about your needs. I just don't want you hanging out with your girlfriends at work!" If that's the case, don't hesitate to leave the conversation.
- Back up your words with relevant behavior. If your partner doesn't respect your social life despite being asked to do so, show them that you don't tolerate the behavior.
- For example, you might say, "We're not going anywhere because you don't want to listen to me. I'd better go for a bit." Then, go out for a few hours to give your partner a chance to cool off.
Step 3. Always remember your value
Being in a relationship with a negative partner can instantly drain your self-esteem. For example, you may begin to feel unworthy of respect and love from others. If that's the case, try to get rid of that assumption! Always remind yourself that everyone has value!
- Of course, there will always be room in your life for improvement or improvement. But that doesn't mean you don't deserve to be loved or appreciated for it! Just because you have flaws, doesn't mean your partner has the right to constantly yell at you or make fun of you, right?
- Always remember that fact. If necessary, chant a personal mantra in your mind, such as “I am worthy. I deserve respect. I deserve to be loved."
Step 4. Consider ending the relationship
If your partner is constantly treating you badly, there is no point in maintaining the relationship. If you constantly feel controlled, uncomfortable, or unhappy, then the relationship is simply not worth living! There's nothing wrong with leaving someone who can't appreciate you!
Tips
- Another way to detect disrespectful behavior is to watch his reaction when he hears stories about your dreams and life goals. If your partner seems supportive and trusts in you, it means he or she really appreciates you. If your partner just doesn't want to listen to it or doesn't really care about your story, it means he doesn't really appreciate you.
- If you are both in a serious relationship, understand that communication is the key to keeping it going. That's why you shouldn't hesitate to express your feelings! If your partner annoys you, say so. Don't hold back because everyone has the right to express their feelings, especially when it comes to comfort in a relationship.
